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The Official Pokémon Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum Project

Started by Latios212, July 16, 2016, 06:44:06 PM

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AmpharosAndy

Great job, Libera! Just played it through and it's very simple without missing out things from the original. Just a few nitpicks

- Could the big intro chord in bar 3 put the left hand G# down the octave instead? It's more effective + a little easier to play. Plus, this addition then makes the chord at bar 7 feel much better as well in comparison. Playing the intro as it is feels underwhelming. 
- bar 15 add that B back in under the e in the right hand just because it feels weak without it compared to the previous bars with all the parallel fourths.
- idk if the repeat could be slightly clearer because of the short repeating section in the middle...? it should go back to near the start right?
innit

Libera

Done, done and done; the files have been updated.  Thanks for the feedback and I'm glad you liked it!  I'm getting the feeling you're probably a lot better at piano than I am... :P

Regarding the lateness of my feedback, I was going through your sheets in particular @AmpharosAndy and I think you've mislabeled one of your links (one of your two Victory! (Trainer) links leads to Victory! (Team Galactic)).  Hopefully I'll be able to go through your sheets properly shortly-ish (perhaps a big ish...).


Libera

Quote from: Libera on August 27, 2018, 11:09:37 AMAlso I'm going to go through a bunch of the sheets on here and offer some feedback shortly (read: over the next few days) so look out for that.
Haha, if you could see me now, buddy.

I am here now, and am going to be working through the sheets on the dropbox, posting feedback here.

Zeila:

Lake: and Lake: Two pianos
I originally just looked at the solo piano version, but unsurprisingly a lot of these comments apply to the duet version as well.  When things apply to both I'll just talk about the solo version but I'll trust you to make the appropriate edits to the other sheet. 
  • This is a very small comment, but you should probably use 'Magically' rather than 'Magical' since because 'Magical' is just a noun adjective rather than an adverb it doesn't really read like a direction at the moment.  Edit: I've decided on reflection that adjectives are fine.  Choose whichever one you prefer.
  • The graces in bar 22: these aren't very pianistic and don't sound great in my opinion.  I'd suggest you just roll those two notes instead.
  • In bar 3 and 37 the left note on beat 1 uses up an awful lot of ink for a note that isn't even being played.  I'd just remove that left hand note.
  • This is a general comment about the sheet.  I think the whole thing needs some room to be breathe (it's very dense at the moment).  I'd decrease the number of bars per system from 4 to to 3 which should get it onto to three pages (which I think it needs).  There are some particularly problematic points, but I think if you spread it more and have another look through it these will probably go away.  If not I can say later anyway.
  • In bar 8 I'd hide the layer 1 accidental on the B.  At the moment it looks pretty ... not pretty.
  • In the second half of bar 9 I don't think those notes are doubled.  i.e. I think it should just read quavers B C B.
  • In bar 22 those A#s should be rewritten as Bbs; it's a Bb major chord after all.
  • In bar 19, for the beat 2 chord I hear F A Bn E.
  • Finally you have a metric modulation going from bar 19 to 20 and this should be written out explicitly.  (I believe it's crotchet = quaver but I have a tendency to get it the wrong way round, so do double check.)
Edit: While you're going through all of these, I'd see if you can have another tinker around with this sheet in general.  At the moment I feel like it needs a little bit more love.



Edit: I also updated the OP and the dropbox with all the newest files.  Let me know if I've missed anything.

Libera

Disclaimer: I am working through these files with no particular regard for order, just what I feel like checking really.

Sebastian:

Evolution
This looks good to me at the moment.  I've only got a few things to say
  • The left hand from bar 9 onwards is partially incorrect.  I would send pictures but I'd have to send a lot so I'm just going to put the file here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/omy6390m3th5eg3/Evolution_LiberaEdit.musx?dl=1
  • I'm not sure about the loop you have going at the moment.  I have a feeling it might just loop those last 8 bars once it gets there, but you should probably boot up your copy of the game to check.  (this isn't really important I know).

Good work.

Libera

Yug_Guy:

Pokemon Center (Night)
This isn't bad at all, just a few minor issues really.
  • Combine layers wherever possible.  There are lots of places where you could do this so I won't list them all but for example bar 2 RH and bar 27 RH.
  • The cross-staffing in bar 14 isn't a good idea in my opinion since those chords are not playable with one hand and so the left hand is getting those bottom notes.  I think at the moment it's communicating that poorly.
  • In bars 25-26 the left hand is not playable for those of us who are not octopuses.  I'd move the octaves around to have it fit better.
  • You are missing a D in the chord on beat 1 of bar 20 underneath the A.
  • Have a go through all of those roll markings and try to make them a little more uniform; they don't look particularly neat at the moment.
But yeah these are all small issues really: good job!

Libera

Zeila:

Canalave City (Night)

  • Once again let's try to spread this music out a bit.  There's lots of ink going on and I feel like decreasing bars per system will really help to make everything clearer.  Especially system 5 on page 1.
  • While you're at it, bar 22 needs to be respaced.  Just have finale do it for you by clicking on it with a note.
  • Some of the bass notes in 15-16 are a little hard to play and you could remove those and it wouldn't really hurt the arrangement in my opinion.  Keep the triplets though and combine the layers.
  • The first half of this arrangement is looking pretty good, but I have some issues with bars 19-24.  I'm not entirely sure what you're transcribing here, but I don't think it's the most interesting thing going on.  Your right hand is doubling the rhythm of the bass which isn't exactly an issue by itself but there's this cool piano thing going on that I feel would work much better.  I'd have a go at those bars again and see if you can come up with something. 25 onwards is fine though.  If you need any help with that section just send me a message on discord; I try to respond very quickly.
  • I'd put a slur on that run in bar 18.
That's about it: I'll have another look through it when you update.

Yug_Guy


Latios212

Hmm.... I really wouldn't say combining layers everywhere is a good idea. In particular, I think the melody should be separated from any rhythmically independent layers, particularly in measures 2 and 27 (contrary to what Libera said... oops haha)

I have a lot more to say about this sheet about layer management in other places unrelated to the above, but am a bit too busy right now to. I can elaborate or go over with this you in more depth at a later time.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Latios212

Sebastian:

Spin Trade
- Would suggest making the first three notes staccatissimo or something to make them even more marked!
- You could move the dynamic in m. 2 down a bit.
- The figure in m. 7 beat 3 is actually a bend up from F. But what you wrote in seems like a fine substitute for that.
- Only wrong notes - m. 9 beat 1.5 should be the dyad chromatically neighboring below, that is to say Eb-Ab, and beat 3.5 should also be a fourth (F instead of Gb).

Nice work!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Sebastian

Ohhh boy. These are old Seb sheets. xD

Quote from: Libera on September 26, 2018, 04:36:53 AMEvolution
This looks good to me at the moment.  I've only got a few things to say
  • The left hand from bar 9 onwards is partially incorrect.  I would send pictures but I'd have to send a lot so I'm just going to put the file here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/omy6390m3th5eg3/Evolution_LiberaEdit.musx?dl=1
  • I'm not sure about the loop you have going at the moment.  I have a feeling it might just loop those last 8 bars once it gets there, but you should probably boot up your copy of the game to check.  (this isn't really important I know).
Ah, yes. You're correct about those notes. Your file looks good.

As for your second comment: waaaay back when I arranged this the YT video I was using looped how I have it in the sheet, but I can't find it now. I just listened to a 30-minute version of the song and you are correct. I updated the sheet accordingly.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/fdv8c4mgqacmgg6/Evolution.musx?dl=1

Quote from: Latios212 on September 27, 2018, 07:11:20 PMSpin Trade
- Would suggest making the first three notes staccatissimo or something to make them even more marked!
- You could move the dynamic in m. 2 down a bit.
- The figure in m. 7 beat 3 is actually a bend up from F. But what you wrote in seems like a fine substitute for that.
- Only wrong notes - m. 9 beat 1.5 should be the dyad chromatically neighboring below, that is to say Eb-Ab, and beat 3.5 should also be a fourth (F instead of Gb).
All fixed.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/mfkg0n1xu3dp1s8/Spin%20Trade.musx?dl=1



Libera

Onionleaf:

Oreburgh Gate
This looks pretty good so far.  Some comments from me:
  • We should get rid of these alternating 8vas and 15vas.  The best way to do that would be to just put a note at the start to play the right an octave above.  (And then another note of course at bar 34.
  • In bars 51-54 I don't hear the alternating C# D# in the bass.  It just sounds like C#s to me.
  • This is a comment for the whole piece: the spellings look funny in places to me.  For example in bar 14-17 we have Gns that should probably be written as F##s.  I'd have another look at the accidentals (maybe consider doing the piece in flats instead?) but if you're not sure we can probably sort something out.
  • Speaking of bar 14-17, the left hand sounds a little inaccurate to me.  I'm hearing:
    Spoiler
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    (that's how I chose to do the accidentals here since the chord in bar 14 is just a D# major chord.)
  • In bar 19 and 23 the right hand As sound like A#s to me.

Hope that helps and if you have any questions ask.

Libera

Th3Gavst3r:

Battle! (Gym Leader)
This also looks pretty solid.
  • Final note in the left hand sounds like a Db rather than an Eb as you have written it.
  • Think about the playability of bars 64-67.  There are some fast jumps for the right hand there.  I'd move the last two quavers of the right hand's part before the jump to the left hand.  (Which from a brief mess around on the keyboard seems pretty easy to play.)
  • Throughout the whole piece is the bassline that first appears in bar 3.  Sometimes you notate the pitch bend on the Ab, sometimes you don't.  It might be worth going through and checking to make sure you're being consistent.
  • The Dn in the right hand of bar 38 sounds like a D# to me.
  • I'd write the semiquaver F at the end of bar 13 as a quaver.

Latios212

Accepted:
14 - The Pokémon Lab* - Sebastian
30 - Oreburgh Mine - AmpharosAndy
40 - Team Galactic Appears! - Don Valentino
48 - Evolution - Sebastian
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Th3Gavst3r

Quote from: Libera on September 29, 2018, 09:36:39 AM
  • Final note in the left hand sounds like a Db rather than an Eb as you have written it.
Definitely an Eb there, checked really closely plus I'm convinced it makes a nice pattern of M3 m3 M3 m3

Quote from: Libera on September 29, 2018, 09:36:39 AM
  • Throughout the whole piece is the bassline that first appears in bar 3.  Sometimes you notate the pitch bend on the Ab, sometimes you don't.  It might be worth going through and checking to make sure you're being consistent.
Was only needed in a few places, got rid of about half of them

Quote from: Libera on September 29, 2018, 09:36:39 AM
  • Think about the playability of bars 64-67.  There are some fast jumps for the right hand there.  I'd move the last two quavers of the right hand's part before the jump to the left hand.  (Which from a brief mess around on the keyboard seems pretty easy to play.)
  • The Dn in the right hand of bar 38 sounds like a D# to me.
  • I'd write the semiquaver F at the end of bar 13 as a quaver.
All added :D

[NDS] Pokemon DPPt

Battle! (Gym Leader)