[GBA] Pokémon FireRed Version & Pokémon LeafGreen Version - "Pallet Town Theme" by Bespinben

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon FireRed Version & Pokémon LeafGreen Version
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Pallet Town Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bespinben

[attachment deleted by admin]

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Bespinben]

EDIT (8/25/16 @ 7:23 PM [MST])
Version 1.1 notes:
*Replaced RH ottava with a "both hands 8va" marker, and subsequently notated the LH using the bass clef instead of treble, one octave lower
*Consequently, the above actions yielded an excess of whitespace, thus allowing more space to be allotted to the header info and the space in-between staves.

EDIT (8/25/16 @ 7:39 PM [MST])
Ver. 1.2 notes:
*The mid-measure treble clef in m. 16 has been replaced with ottava, to better reflect the new notation for m. 1-8.
*Game title standardized to "Pokémon FireRed Version & Pokémon Leafgreen", as opposed to "Pokémon Firered/Leafgreen"

EDIT (8/25/16 @ 8:03 PM [MST])
Ver. 1.3 notes:
*Manual adjustments were made to the exact arc and curvature of the slur to the acciaccatura's slur in m. 11 to be more visually appeasing.
*The 8th rest in the RH of m. 10 was lowered to standard height.
*Composer's name was changed to "Jun'ichi" instead of "Junichi", to reflect official sources elsewhere.

[Sebastian]

What a sumptuous piece you have here. Excellent work.
Two things that piqued my interest:
- Is there a reason you have the 16ths flipped the other way in the last measure (LH; first layer)? I assume it's to save you space in between the staves?
- Composer/arranger names need right-aligned hehe.
 
Nice work!

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

Personally, I find "both hands" followed by the 8va marking to be unclear. It looks like you have the right hand 8va sign, then a piece of text indicating to play the top staff with both hands. At best, I see it getting disregarded, and I don't think people will take it to mean that both hands are up an octave.

Personally, I'd either write "both hands up an octave" or have, in one line of text "both hands 8va" (using the maestro font for 8va) followed by the dashed line tool. You can then hide 8vas for the playback, as I'm sure you already have done.

Also, I don't really mind it, but what made you decide to orient the page horizontally rather than vertically?

[Sebastian]

I was gonna edit it in to my other post, but heck with it lol.

Kind of going along on with what PDS said, I would recommend a marking that states a conclusion to the 8va (Somewhere in proximity to the "Fine"). When I first saw "Both Hands", I assumed it meant the entire song, so maybe convey that better.

I also agree with PDS on the issue of the "Both Hands" marking. That marking is somewhat equivocal. Maybe clarify that more.

[Bespinben]

- Composer/arranger names need right-aligned hehe.

Done.

A lot of the above suggestions don't take into account that the amount of space available to me is extremely limited and already optimized for very specific purposes. I can't write a full sentence for "both hands up one octave" because there's no space for it. Also, of note, I used this same exact notation in my previous submission "Sympathy and Sincerity", and ran it across numerous individuals. You see, unlike, most of NSM, I have an extensive peer review network outside of NSM thanks to regular viewership of my Youtube videos. That's not to discredit your feedback, which I'm thankful for, but more so to prove that I've ran this style of notation across many readers already (albeit for a different song, but the point stands), and it didn't yield confusion.

Spoiler

[close]

Also, Alfred's "Adult All-in-one Course Level 2" uses this notation:

Spoiler

[close]

Of course, the space deprivation in of itself is a product of having formatted this is landscape layout. So why? Try and fiddle with portrait layout and you'll see. There's no good way to lay out 16 measures between two pages without tacking on an extra measure for a self-composed ending. The song itself already contains a suitable cadence in m. 8 (where I've provided a Fine marking), so I found doing so a needless endeavor.

[Sebastian]

I believe the way you have it is fine then.
Great work with this piece!

[Latios212]

Splendid!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot