[DELETED] [3DS] Pokémon Sun & Pokémon Moon - "Route 2" by Gearmo

Started by Zeta, November 23, 2016, 03:29:39 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Sun & Pokémon Moon
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Route 2
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Gearmo

Maelstrom

Looks like you got the formatting down. I can't look at it musically right now, but I can tell you that we don't allow 1-measure systems, like the last system of your piece.

Gearmo

Fixed, but how do I resubmit the fixed files? (new to submission stuff)

E. Gadd Industries

Go back to the NSM Panel & click "View Your Submissions". Then, it'll show Route 2 & its files all in one row, and to the right of all that, you'll see a button that says "edit" or something like that. Click that & replace your files there!

EDIT: Also, welcome to NSM!
"Everyone is crazy but me"
-The Sign Painter


The entrance to my lab is hidden... somewhere...
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Gearmo


Latios212

Hey, welcome to NSM! Yay Pokémon sheets. Good to see aspiring new arrangers.

Good thing is that this sheet looks great. I have little to say in terms of formatting and readability.

However, this arrangement is lacking musically. Here's some feedback:
- Notes: First and foremost, wrong notes. Before anything else, this is the first thing that needs to be fixed. I'm hearing a lot of incorrect pitches.. For example, beat 4 of measure 2 (RH) goes C-B-C-D. In measure 6 it should be A-G-A-B. Beat 2.5 of measure 7 is an F in the right hand. Check the rest of the song as well carefully. Take your time, make sure you have everything absolutely correct.
- Keys: This song is definitely not in Bb major throughout. It starts out in C major (no sharps/flats), and midway you can hear the tonality shift to F before ending up at Ab for the ending. If you need assistance with key signatures, here's always a good place to ask.
- Arrangement: Something that should be considered after the above two points are corrected in your sheet, but give some thought to the way you wrote out the parts. In measure 5 the melody is obscured. If you want to keep the high voice, use layers to differentiate it from the melody. And in m. 11-16, you have the bass overlapping the dyads in the left hand and even jumping above them at times, which makes it confusing to tell where the bass is, and awkward to play as notes are repeated.

Good luck, and don't hesitate to ask for help!

oh, and for future reference it's helpful to link to a YouTube video for others to see
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

FireArrow

Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Latios212

Don't let our feedback go to waste!

Also, the title is "Route 2 on Melemele Island" and the composer is Minako Adachi.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle