[3DS] Bravely Default - "Baby Bird" by Libera

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Bravely Default
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Baby Bird
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Libera

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Libera]

Best character theme.  Here's the original.

Edit: I had another look through this and found a missing tie and an accented rest (??) so I fixed those and updated the sheets.

[Brassman388]

Not a bad piece.

While I couldn't find anything tonally or metrically "incorrect" seeing as it's an adaptation from pop style song, I was lenient with your bass and harmonic choices. You kept the fundamental character and the melody intact, which is enough when doing an arrangement of this style.

So I kept with how the visually the sheet functions.

First and foremost, you need to give just a little more space between each measure vertically. This is a sheet where it wouldn't hurt to have it in just a bigger font size, between 76 - 80 percent resize I feel would help with some of those lines against the busy chordal stuff going on in the right hand.

You also need to give just a little more space between each system. I would get rid of one system per page, and lock each system with about four measures each. This should fill up, if not very close to, another page. If there's less than half a page in the third page, I wouldn't sweat it. It's a reasonable compromise for a readable sheet.

Now we're going to talk about technique. Some visual, some playablilty.

M. 9, 49, 53; This example is regarding playing a full octave A-major chord, then leaping down another octave in the speed of an 8th note at a tempo of 328. Seems difficult? That's because it is. My solution would be to simplify the chord on the downbeat and maybe omitting the second A on the & of 1. While m. 53 doesn't have the chord, it's still challenging to play octave A's down to another A below it.







M. 7; Default rest placement in Finale is awful at times. You may need to coax it into making it look nice. My preference is to make sure that a rest is easily identified and placed somewhere where it won't weigh down onto one side or another. If it's on the top of the staff, give it some room to breathe and be it's own thing. If it's in the staff, make sure it's not lying directly on the topmost or bottom-most part of the staff. Play around with it, make it look nice. Then key is balance.







M. 23 - 24, 31 - 32; While I don't think this is entirely incorrect, it does prove to look confusing at a first read thru. And because of the nature of layering in finale, it almost seems like you can't necessarily avoid this from happening. However, making it readable and consistent is a whole other thing, and is our job as arrangers to figure out how to simplify such areas like this.

A solution is to get rid of the tie altogether and put a rest on the downbeat of the next measure. It's only occurring twice so I feel like you wouldn't be losing anything too significant. Also, because of the nature of how a real performer is going to articulate that note due to how the notes preceding it, nothing will really change regarding how it will sound.







M. 57, 60; This is an easy fix, and as I mentioned before removing one system per page will greatly benefit your sheet. The key is consistency and balance. If you have one section that looks almost identical in terms of rhythm, you want all sections like that to look the same. That could just be me, tho.







I had a couple more things, but I think once you get going on revising that a lot of other problematic spots will disappear.


Hope this helps.

[Libera]

Thanks for the feedback!  I saw this last night just as I was going to bed and I couldn't respond this morning because I was moving...  But I'm now set up again and I've been through your feedback and updated the sheets accordingly. 

Just a few things that are worth mentioning: I agreed with all of your criticism but some of my solutions were different to yours.

- For the problem in bars 9, 49 and 53 I moved the lower A onto the left hand since it's really easy to play it with that hand and I feel that doing that removes most of the difficulty of the passage.  (A major chord jump to E is a lot easier in my opinion).
- For bars 23-24 and 31-32 I just flipped the direction of the stems of the notes in the second bar (and moved the staccatos as if it was just one layer.)

Hopefully the sheet is looking a lot better now and thanks again for taking the time to look it over!

Edit: I just had another look through the sheet and found that I must have accidentally pasted over bar 16 in the bass as it was completely incorrect.  I've now put it back in correctly.

Edit 2: I must be being really clutzy today.  In doing my original edits I removed some pedal markings that I have now replaced.

[Brassman388]

Much, much better. And good job with a different solution!

[Latios212]

Ahh, a great sheet for a fantastic song... really nice work! Only complaint I really have about the arrangement is that the bassline is repetitive and can get somewhat dull at times, but it's not a big problem. I think the sheet still works.

So, just some small things from me!
- Bass notes in m. 4, hearing G#-B-C# at the end. (However, I do actually hear m. 44 as you wrote it.)
- You missed a couple of embellishments in the melody that add a good amount of spice to the song. Measure 22 beat 2.5 could use a mordent, and beat 4 of m. 40 have F#-Fx grace notes leading into it (although that makes it a bit more difficult to play so it'd be fine to leave them out).
- Flip the tie from m. 22-23 so the upper layer continues to point upwards.
- Beat 1 of m. 35 in the melody is shortened in the original. Probably not a big deal in a piano adaptation, but thought I'd mention it anyway.
- Watch the ties from m. 47-48; flip the inner ones.
- Not 100% sure about the run in m. 57-58; I'm hearing a D# in there somewhere. Maybe m. 58 beat 1? I'd suggest double checking this part just to be safe.
- Fix the rhythm grouping in m. 58 to show beat 3.
- Adjust the tie at the end of m. 59; it's awkwardly shaped.
- Fix the ff placement at the end to not collide with the accents.
- Clean up the pedal markings a bit; their positioning is a bit all over the place.
- For m. 16 and 56, I'm hearing just a Gn instead of the 16th Cn-D in the bass. Maybe you're using a different part there? I think what I just mentioned is more prominent, or at least it is to me.

[Libera]

Files have been updated!  Some things worth mentioning:

- Not 100% sure about the run in m. 57-58; I'm hearing a D# in there somewhere. Maybe m. 58 beat 1? I'd suggest double checking this part just to be safe.

I went through and checked it again and I agree that the first note in bar 58 is a D#.  I think everything else is right though, but I admit it's pretty hard to hear.

- For m. 16 and 56, I'm hearing just a Gn instead of the 16th Cn-D in the bass. Maybe you're using a different part there? I think what I just mentioned is more prominent, or at least it is to me.

I checked this again and I swear I'm still hearing what I wrote.  :/

- Clean up the pedal markings a bit; their positioning is a bit all over the place.

I tried to fix these up as best as I could, hopefully they're better now but I'm not so good at these sorts of things.

Everything else should be fixed as per your criticism and thanks for taking the time to look over this fully!

[Latios212]

No problem, happy to help! Changes look good, and pedal markings look straighter and more consistent. (Not so great at placing them myself...)

I'll re-check that bass part soon if someone else doesn't get to it before me.

[Libera]

I listened to it again and I think I agree with you.  I've updated the files.

[Latios212]

Yay, sounds good!

[Maelstrom]

Excellent job!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom.

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