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Author Topic: [GBA] Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version - "Cycling (Duet)" by amc  (Read 283 times)

Zeta

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Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Cycling
Instrumentation Piano Duet
Arranger: amc
« Last Edit: August 02, 2019, 11:21:45 PM by Libera »
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amc

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Maelstrom

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You can edit the files instead of deleting it, you know.

amc

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No problem, nothing was hurt.

It can just get confusing if there's feedback on the thread that's lost when the submission is deleted.

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This looks pretty solid! At a quick glance I'd suggest adding more dynamics and articulation. The phrase markings are great but some staccatos for example would be helpful to differentiate how some different parts are played, and there's definitely quite a bit of dynamic variation that I think the original desires.

Let me know if you want any specific suggestions!
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amc

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Hi, I've edited the sheets
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Latios212

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Nice. My thorough check coming in now!

- Slash at the end of the URL
- Definitely an improvement over before but some notes still demand some articulation. For example, the F#-G in beats 1-2 of m. 2/6/10/14 should probably be staccato. Same with the last two melody notes in m. 7/11/15. And some bass notes like beat 3 of m. 18 and following.
- In measure 3 I'm hearing the melody figure on beat 3.5 as E-Eb-D instead of the grace notes leading to the A.
- In m. 5, sec. RH, I'm hearing a voice play a couple of C# 16th notes, then B C# E instead of what you have written. Unless that's a different voice present?
- Melody in m. 10 is missing a Bb grace note before the A
- m. 11, the grace note should be Eb above, not C# below the D
- There's a voice that goes missing in sec., m. 14-16, RH.
- I think the melody voices should be tied between measures 18-19 and 22-23
- Bass dips down to C# instead of repeating D in m. 3 beat 3.5
- I'm hearing E-C# as the last two bass notes in m. 9
- m. 11, A on beat 3 is missing G# before it
- Bass E in m. 14 should be D
- Last A in the bass of m. 24 should be sharp
- Pri's left hand is inaccurate in m. 4-5.
- Cn in m. 9 should be a B
- F# at the end of m. 17 should be E
- Measure 25 seems a bit awkward to play for Pri. Anything we can do about that?

Good stuff, the above comments are all pretty minor. Very clean sheet.
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amc

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I've updated the sheets, however I'm pretty sure that E-Eb-D isn't played in m. 3
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- Last A in the bass of m. 24 should be sharp
I think this was missed, and also the url is missing the "www". Other than what you mentioned above, I think all is good here, so I'll wait for someone else to weigh in on that.
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So the thing about bar 3: as far as I can tell there are two lines, one plays F# -> E -> Eb -> D and the other line plays D -> B -> Bb -> A.  For reference here's a picture:
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In other news, the tempo should be 138bpm rather than 144bpm.
And beat 4 in bar 28 pri should be G -> A both quavers rather than just a G.  I'd probably slur the G to the A with a staccato on the A, but your choice.

amc

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Updated.
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- Last A in the bass of m. 24 should be sharp
This is still missing. Aside from that, I'd suggest moving the forte in m. 2 Secondo over just a bit. After that, looks good from my end!
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amc

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I've updated
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Looks great, I've just fixed the v26 induced oddities for you and now we're ready to go!
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