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Author Topic: [GBA] Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version - "Cycling (Duet)" by amc  (Read 135 times)

Zeta

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Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Cycling
Instrumentation Piano Duet
Arranger: amc
« Last Edit: July 19, 2019, 01:56:19 AM by amc »
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amc

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Maelstrom

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You can edit the files instead of deleting it, you know.

amc

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Maelstrom

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No problem, nothing was hurt.

It can just get confusing if there's feedback on the thread that's lost when the submission is deleted.

Latios212

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This looks pretty solid! At a quick glance I'd suggest adding more dynamics and articulation. The phrase markings are great but some staccatos for example would be helpful to differentiate how some different parts are played, and there's definitely quite a bit of dynamic variation that I think the original desires.

Let me know if you want any specific suggestions!
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amc

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Hi, I've edited the sheets
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Latios212

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Nice. My thorough check coming in now!

- Slash at the end of the URL
- Definitely an improvement over before but some notes still demand some articulation. For example, the F#-G in beats 1-2 of m. 2/6/10/14 should probably be staccato. Same with the last two melody notes in m. 7/11/15. And some bass notes like beat 3 of m. 18 and following.
- In measure 3 I'm hearing the melody figure on beat 3.5 as E-Eb-D instead of the grace notes leading to the A.
- In m. 5, sec. RH, I'm hearing a voice play a couple of C# 16th notes, then B C# E instead of what you have written. Unless that's a different voice present?
- Melody in m. 10 is missing a Bb grace note before the A
- m. 11, the grace note should be Eb above, not C# below the D
- There's a voice that goes missing in sec., m. 14-16, RH.
- I think the melody voices should be tied between measures 18-19 and 22-23
- Bass dips down to C# instead of repeating D in m. 3 beat 3.5
- I'm hearing E-C# as the last two bass notes in m. 9
- m. 11, A on beat 3 is missing G# before it
- Bass E in m. 14 should be D
- Last A in the bass of m. 24 should be sharp
- Pri's left hand is inaccurate in m. 4-5.
- Cn in m. 9 should be a B
- F# at the end of m. 17 should be E
- Measure 25 seems a bit awkward to play for Pri. Anything we can do about that?

Good stuff, the above comments are all pretty minor. Very clean sheet.
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amc

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I've updated the sheets, however I'm pretty sure that E-Eb-D isn't played in m. 3
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