[GB] Donkey Kong Land - "Kremlantis" by Jack

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Donkey Kong
Game: Donkey Kong Land
Console: Game Boy
Title: Kremlantis
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Jack

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[Jack]

What a nice tune!

• I chose to combine the notes of the bass line with the rhythm of the percussion. I think it better matches the sound of the original
• If someone could please help with the formatting, that'd be great
• My intention with the pedaling was that the performer could pedal at their discretion to create the echo-ey feel

[Static]

What a nice tune!

You bet! Great arrangement too.

Alright, feedback time:

• This would look great with 3 measures per system. Right now, some of the 16th note parts look pretty squished.
• Your dynamic markings are in general not consistently centered vertically. Also the mezzopiano at the beginning clashes with the crescendo.
• There's a clashing issue with the tempo marking. This can be fixed by having both the text and tempo under one marking instead of separate.
• That 3-note rhythm in the RH of m6, 11, and 12 is actually a quarter note triplet (each note is equally spaced apart).
• Some of the system spacing is too close to copyright text/titles/page numbers/etc.
• Sometimes, the 8va markings are touching notes, or is too far away from them.

It looks like you use NotePad, so I went ahead and made these edits for you (also added hidden accents for m2-4). If you need anything changed back that you can't fix yourself, let me know. Here's the files.

Here are some extra suggestions for you to consider. I didn't make these changes in the files.

• m2: You can use that simile for the crescendos/diminuendos if you want to, so you don't have to have those written out a bunch of times. A simile marking might be useful in m14 as well.
• Did you mean to put a senza pedale marking at m5, or do you want pedal used for the entire piece? I'm just curious.
• It looks like both David Wise and Graeme Norgate are credited as composers for this game. I couldn't find any other information on which specific tracks were composed by who, so both composers should probably be credited.

Edit: Did a little more digging about the composer info and this is what I found:

His website (the most recent version doesn't have this info anymore) seems to indicate he only composed a handful of tracks, while Wise composed the rest. If this is everything he wrote, then it's only Wise who should be credited in the sheet.

List of Tracks

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[Jack]

You bet! Great arrangement too.

Alright, feedback time:

• This would look great with 3 measures per system. Right now, some of the 16th note parts look pretty squished.
• Your dynamic markings are in general not consistently centered vertically. Also the mezzopiano at the beginning clashes with the crescendo.
• There's a clashing issue with the tempo marking. This can be fixed by having both the text and tempo under one marking instead of separate.
• That 3-note rhythm in the RH of m6, 11, and 12 is actually a quarter note triplet (each note is equally spaced apart).
• Some of the system spacing is too close to copyright text/titles/page numbers/etc.
• Sometimes, the 8va markings are touching notes, or is too far away from them.

It looks like you use NotePad, so I went ahead and made these edits for you (also added hidden accents for m2-4). If you need anything changed back that you can't fix yourself, let me know.

Looks great! Thanks!

Here are some extra suggestions for you to consider. I didn't make these changes in the files.

• m2: You can use that simile for the crescendos/diminuendos if you want to, so you don't have to have those written out a bunch of times. A simile marking might be useful in m14 as well.
• It looks like both David Wise and Graeme Norgate are credited as composers for this game. I couldn't find any other information on which specific tracks were composed by who, so both composers should probably be credited.

Done. (I credited only Wise.)

• Did you mean to put a senza pedale marking at m5, or do you want pedal used for the entire piece? I'm just curious.

No - I think that the pedal should be used throughout to create the distant kind of sound with this piece.

This looks good to me - thanks for your help!

[Static]

Looks great! The pedal use makes perfect sense to me, I just wanted to clarify. I'll be approving this one now.

[Libera]

Looks great!  Just a few things from me:

Firstly, the copyright/url was too low so I've moved that and then respaced the systems accordingly.  Here's a file for you to use with that in place: File.

Some other comments that you should be able to address yourself:

-The slur in bar 5 and 7 should go to the final tied note, like this:

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and then similarly for bar 7.
-The con pedale indication should ideally be made using the expression tool rather than the text tool.  This ensures that if anything on the sheet gets moved, then the con pedale will remain attached to the thing being moved.  I've just realised that I actually fixed this in the file above accidentally, but hopefully that's fine.
-I'm not sure I fully agree with the 8va use in bars 1-4 and 13-24.  The bass doesn't sound that low to me and it makes the transition from bar 4 to bar 5 seem a bit odd as the bass jumps up in register by a large amount.  If there's a particular reason for having it so low, then feel free to explain it to me.

All the notes look good to me!

[Jack]

.-I'm not sure I fully agree with the 8va use in bars 1-4 and 13-24.  The bass doesn't sound that low to me and it makes the transition from bar 4 to bar 5 seem a bit odd as the bass jumps up in register by a large amount.  If there's a particular reason for having it so low, then feel free to explain it to me.

I was thinking about this myself - I was listening to the tune, plunking out notes on the piano, and in the start, the F certainly didn't sound like it was in the same register as the bass in bar 5 - yes, the notes written on the sheet sounded low, but there definitely was a difference in the original track.
I do agree that the bass jumps are odd - thoughts?

[Libera]

I was thinking about this myself - I was listening to the tune, plunking out notes on the piano, and in the start, the F certainly didn't sound like it was in the same register as the bass in bar 5 - yes, the notes written on the sheet sounded low, but there definitely was a difference in the original track.
I do agree that the bass jumps are odd - thoughts?

It's fine if you want to keep it that way.  I can see where you're coming from a bit more now.  You still need to address the other feedback though before I can sign off on this.  I fixed a few of the things for you, but it seems like you've replaced my file with the old one.  If you'd prefer to make the edits that's fine, but they do need to be made.

[Jack]

Of course - the only thing I needed to change was the slur in bar 7, right?

[Libera]

Bar 5 and bar 7.

[Jack]

Yep - bar 5 was changed in the file you gave me.  Everything should be done now.

[Libera]

It still looks wrong to me.  Maybe you've confused files?  The slurs should go to the final tied note, like this:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

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[Jack]

OH! Yeah I confused the files.
So sorry - NOW everything should be good.

[Libera]

So, for some reason opening that .mus file crashes my finale and all of the other updaters' finales.  So, would you mind re-exporting it and we'll hope that it works that time?  If that still doesn't work, Static still has his file from before and we can edit that one to match the pdf.

[Jack]

Wierd. I re-exported it. Does it work now?