[DELETED] [PC] Doki Doki Literature Club! - "Okay Everyone! (Natsuki)" by BrainyLucario

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Doki Doki Literature Club!
Console: PC
Title: Okay Everyone! (Natsuki)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: BrainyLucario

[BrainyLucario]

I don't know if stuff has changed since i last uploaded a sheet so if im doing something wrong let me know

[Latios212]

Looks like you had a bunch of feedback from the first time you submitted this that has yet to be addressed:

Before this sheet goes anywhere, you need to do a lot of work with the rhythm grouping. Since the sheet is in 12/8, all rhythms have to be grouped accordingly with the three subdivisions per beat. This means that places like m5, m6, m9, and m12, where in the RH you have an eighth note starting on the third subdivision on a beat and extending over into the first subdivision of the next beat, are a big no-no; this need to be written as two eighth notes tied together instead. Rests also need to be regrouped into subdivisions of three (dotted quarter rest, dotted half rest). Examples of other places to fix include:

• m6: second quarter rest (not first) needs to be changed into two eighth rests (rule of thumb that I've learned is that you can use a quarter rest for the first two subdivisions of a beat but not for the last two)
• m8: use dotted half rest + quarter rest instead of whole rest
• m9 and m13, RH: group quarter rest + eighth rest at beginning of measure into dotted quarter rest
• m11 and m15, RH: group half rest + quarter rest at beginning of measure into dotted half rest
• m11, RH: quarter tied to eighth on beat 3 should be written as a dotted quarter
• m12, RH: half note should be written as a dotted quarter tied to an eighth note--and in fact you should probably check the note duration again,
   since it's more likely to be a dotted half or something else in 12/8 time. Don't use a whole rest after it either
• m10 and m14, RH: those two dotted quarters in each measure need to be eighths tied to quarters
• m11 and m15, RH: changed tied eighth-half-dotted quarter into tied dotted half-quarter
• m13, RH: dotted quarter tied to quarter needs to be rewritten as eighth tied to dotted eighth tied to eighth--and you might want to check the note duration on that again since it will look kind of messy like that

I only went through the first page and there's a good chance I didn't find everything. The rest of the sheet suffers from the same problem, so you need to go through each measure with a fine-toothed comb and fix all the rhythm groupings. After that we can start talking notes.

(While you're at it you should probably fix the rest collisions in m40 as well)

[BrainyLucario]

will do now. I must have forgotten to do that. The first thing stumps me a bit. how do you define a subdivision again? Bear in mind its been a while so i need to get back up to speed on musical lingo

On top of this measure 8 has no whole rest


Edit:If i'm remembering right, the subdivisions can be seen in measure 8 clearly and there should be 2 sets of 3 aka a dotted half rest makes up one and the rest of the measure makes up the other

[Latios212]

Groups of threes. Here's a couple examples of things in 12/8 you can use for reference:

https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/2679
https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/1213

I think MSF explained things pretty clearly in his post and I see you've fixed a bunch of things, but there's still work to do. Go through the sheet again and really think about the grouping in each measure. Some common things to look out for:
- When you have a group of eighth-rest-eighth, beam the eighths together over the rest. Measure 1 and all the others like it.
- When you have a group of eighth-rest-rest, write it as two eighth rests instead of one quarter rest. The second beat of m. 6 is done correctly, unlike the last beat of measure 1.
- When you have two dotted quarter rests in the first or second half of the measure, condense them into a dotted half rest. Measure 4 RH should look like measure 8 RH. Don't use regular half or whole rests, like in m. 20.

While you're going over your sheet, be very mindful of some other things as well:
- Where you put your staccatos - pay attention to where you use eighth + rest vs. staccato quarter for example.
- Layering. It's pretty messy in places and some parts are unplayable

As always, please do ask for help if you need it

[BrainyLucario]

It seems this wasn't as ready as I remember it being. I'm going to archive this and work on it before I resubmit it again. Thanks for the advice Latios!