[DELETED] [PS4] Persona 5 Royal - "Gentle Madman" by Apind

Started by Zeta, April 17, 2021, 02:49:03 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Megami Tensei/Persona
Game: Persona 5 Royal
Console: PlayStation 4
Title: Gentle Madman
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Apind

Apind

https://youtu.be/kexqSlkVTf0

things I don't know how to do on notepad/can't do
- formatting is bad
- I'm not entirely sure how coda's work, but just have it repeat to the beginning at the end
- m8 beat 2 on right hand needs E nautural > D grace notes
- m14 beat 3 right hand needs Bb grace note
- m17-20 left hand needs to be an octave up

Apind

Also if you want to me respond more quickly, please message/ping me on the discord server. I would respond much more quickly there than on the forum.

Libera

Before I start giving feedback, I'd just like to confirm that you are still willing to work on this sheet and make changes.  I noticed that on one of your recent submissions you weren't interested in making any changes and so removed the arrangement after some time waiting for your response.  This sheet is likely going to require a significant amount of work on my part and I don't want to see it go to waste.

Some general comments (and I'm happy to go into more detail if you're willing to work on this) is that the arrangement is very empty at the moment, lacking the range of sound that is in the original.  The piano part is missing lots of notes and subtleties that are in the original and so sections of this sound very flat.  There is also little in the way of rhythm to give the arrangement any drive, which could definitely help in sections (particularly bar 12). 

A more specific point is that the main piano riff (bars 1-4 etc) should be in the right hand, not the left.  This frees up the left hand to play more in the bass register and also to play the bass countermelody in 12-20 which is currently written in for the right hand.

If you're willing to work on this, I suggest you go through and try listening to the chords again, especially in the piano part, keeping in mind the above points.  You should also listen to the main piano riff again, as currently it is transcribed wrongly (it starts on beat 1.25, not on beat 1).  (Also, make this piano riff into one layer, there is no need for it to be in two layers.)

Apind

#4
Yes! I am absolutely going to continue this one. I started working on main the riff (I haven't updated the sheet yet). I heard the bass line consistently playing 16th notes, but I couldn't get it to sound good. Here's what I got so far
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/723691274544218173/841072288048742400/unknown.png

Libera

How is this coming along?

Given the current status of this sheet compared to the original, I hope you understand if I say that maybe it would be better for this to be taken out of submissions so that you can submit something that is more closer to being up to standard.  It also may be worth working on arranging other pieces before returning to this one, as I think it is probably a bit hard for where you are at the moment.  While it would be possible for me to get this up to standard, I don't think submissions should be used for updaters rewriting sheets to have them accepted.

Let me know what you think about this suggestion and if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Libera

I'm going to archive this one now for the reasons above, given the subsequent inactivity.