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Author Topic: [NDS] Nintendogs - "Chow Record" by PokéMaster  (Read 507 times)

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[NDS] Nintendogs - "Chow Record" by PokéMaster
« on: August 07, 2021, 09:39:32 PM »

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Nintendogs
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Chow Record
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: PokéMaster
« Last Edit: September 15, 2021, 09:55:30 PM by PokeMaestro »
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PokeMaestro

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Re: [NDS] Nintendogs - "Chow Record" by PokéMaster
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2021, 09:42:41 PM »

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Static

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Re: [NDS] Nintendogs - "Chow Record" by PokéMaster
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2021, 10:30:09 PM »

  • m1/21 LH: This is a Dmaj7 chord, I would change the D to C# here.
  • m6/26 LH: There should be an E in the LH as well on beat 1 (middle of staff).
  • m26 RH: Accent marking should not be touching the stem.
  • m28 LH: The chords are missing B's (should look like m8).
  • m32: This is an F#7b9#11 chord, which means the Cn should technically be B# here. You can remove the courtesy C# in the LH.
  • m35-38 RH: It's up to you, but I think trying to find a way to incorporate the guitar lick here would be cool.
  • m37-40: This system is a bit cramped, consider spacing the staves apart more (you have enough room on this page to do that) so that the layers aren't so close together.
  • In m40, you have molto ritardando, and in m48 poco rit.. You could just have these both be rit., it's common enough an expression to where an abbreviation shouldn't be misunderstood.
  • m53 RH: Since this is in 3/4 and not 6/8, the second dotted quarter should be written as an 8th note tied to a quarter.
  • m57-60: I'd also try to include the guitar melody here, I think it's more important than the background chords. This would also mean getting rid of the repeat, since the guitar part is different the 2nd time through.
  • m65: Did you intend the A to be played with the LH? I think it's easier to just play the upper 3 notes with the RH alone.
  • Copyright info, page titles, and page numbers are outside the page margins.

PokeMaestro

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Re: [NDS] Nintendogs - "Chow Record" by PokéMaster
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2021, 09:54:03 PM »

Thank you for the feedback! I revised the sheet in your points.

Quote
m35-38 RH: It's up to you, but I think trying to find a way to incorporate the guitar lick here would be cool.
I didn't incorporate it, unfortunalely, beacuse the beats wouldn't be filled without the violin voice, just offbeat sounds not so good imo. You can't play the violin voice together with the guitar voice (the voices are overlapping) or rather to play them in two different octaves would be very hard.

Quote
m57-60: I'd also try to include the guitar melody here, I think it's more important than the background chords. This would also mean getting rid of the repeat, since the guitar part is different the 2nd time through.
similar matter

Quote
m53 RH: Since this is in 3/4 and not 6/8, the second dotted quarter should be written as an 8th note tied to a quarter.
Yes, I just thought it might be easier to read.

Quote
Copyright info, page titles, and page numbers are outside the page margins.
How do I fix it?
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Static

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Re: [NDS] Nintendogs - "Chow Record" by PokéMaster
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2021, 02:24:21 AM »

Looks good! I just have a few last comments/replies to your comments:

- m50 RH (lower voice): The first note here should be C (natural) instead of E.
- When I said both the ridardandos should be rit., didn't mean exactly that - you can keep the molto and poco. I just meant they should both be rit. (i.e. molto rit. & poco rit. instead of molto ritardando & poco rit.). I just didn't see a reason not to use the abbreviation.
- You had this fit rather nicely on 3 pages before, but when you adjusted the system spacing on Page 2, the last system on Page 3 got shifted down. I would adjust the spacing on Page 3 to make everything fit in 3 pages like before.
- Text can be moved inside the margins by using the Text Tool > right click on handle > Edit Frame Attributes > set V value to 0 (under Alignment and Positioning). For righthand text (i.e. odd page numbers), the Right Page Alignment and Positioning V value should also be set to 0.
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- I would still strongly suggest writing those beat 1.5 dotted quarter notes as tied quarter notes, I think it's easier to read it that way since it's more consistent with standard 3/4 beat groupings. There are times where it's appropriate to interchange such divisions (like in this sheet (m66+) for example). I don't think this is one of those cases, it's just a single syncopated rhythm.
- For the guitar voice, even if it does play on offbeats, the LH pattern is already playing the downbeats so I still think it could work. The guitar melody also frequently plays downbeats too, like in m37-38 and m57-60:
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But if you'd still rather not include it, that's OK too!
« Last Edit: September 16, 2021, 02:28:29 AM by Static »
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