I think since you might've last done sheets on here there's been some changes here and there with the sheet presentation. There's a newer
template file available on the submissions page, but otherwise the URL should be
https://www.ninsheetmusic.org at the bottom. However, I'd honestly recommend just copying your arrangement and pasting it into this newer template because there's some other formatting margin stuff (ex. a lot of extra space at bottoms of the pages) that's just easier to deal with that way
I think the biggest thing to address (which you allude to) with the arrangement is m53-59 where the accompaniment (LH part) gets a bit spread apart for probably almost all people's hands lol. If those notes are in your view necessary to have, I'd suggest putting those top notes as a second layer in the RH underneath that current part. Or, if the bottom notes in those measures are less important, perhaps they could go. Otherwise the notes look good!
Here is that idea for m55-56, for example
In general, 49-64's LH part might benefit from some separate layers between the voices that stay on the same pitches through multiple measures, and those that are ascending or descending. See this screenshot for reference... some others or yourself might have some better ideas for the spacing but I think this is a start:
Other Formatting Stuff- Composer credits are pretty high compared to song title
- Move the mp in the pickup measure a little to the left to center under the D notehead
- The sempre cresc. is a touch close to the note above it. it can go down a bit or if you're trying to keep the alignment with the mp, the system could be widened
- Either move the mf down and to the right a little so it is not super close to the G in the RH, or consider widening the system
- The system that starts with m48 could be widened a bit to give the ff some space (the ff can also move a bit to be centered under the notes, see first screenshot)
- Would putting a D.S. to loop back to the beginning make sense? I honestly haven't played the game, and am not familiar with the track, but as an alternative to that idea, it sounds like listening to the original that that section from m49-64 continuously loops once that section starts. So maybe that would be worth including as a performance note
Addressing your other comments- Parentheses makes sense for m17 and m25
- I don't believe measure 24 is an issue because it doesn't go under. For measure 32 and perhaps 24, you could move the G to the LH with the notemover tool and get something like this:
That way you're using the LH which isn't doing much there to begin with
Also just as a small aside, a .mus file is required with submissions, so while it's good to have the .musx as a bonus, the .mus is actually more important so all finale software can open the file. Hope to see this in submissions soon!