[N64] GoldenEye 007 - "Facility" (Replacement) by Sebastian

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: GoldenEye 007
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Facility
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Sebastian


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Sebastian]

[LeviR.star]

Good to have you back, man, even if only for a little while.

[Latios212]

Nice to see you again glad we can finally get this one up!

- m. 15-16, 23-24, 31-32 would be better with the middle voice on the top staff, since it's being played by the right hand and those voice is already on the top staff everywhere else.
- I think the slurs could use a bit of adjusting in m. 26 and 34. In m. 26 the first slur is awkwardly curved at in m. 34 having the slurs start and end on top of beat 1 looks rather odd (perhaps flip the first slur downwards like in m. 26?
- Speaking of m. 26/34, do you think the grace notes might be better written as D#/F# instead of Eb/Gb? The Eb is part of the key signature but the grace note chromatically approaches the En.
- I'd highly recommend removing the courtesy naturals on the F# in m. 50 and 55 - there's sufficient space from the previous F#
- Rhythm grouping in beats 3-4 of m. 55
- The beat 1 C's in the right hand in m. 57-60 are offset too far to the right
- I'd recommend putting dynamics at the beginning and ending of the crescendo in the last four bars. It starts out pretty quiet in the original and seems to build up more tension than it returns to at the beginning of the repeat. How does p < f sound?
- Your header/footer text is outside the page margins; I would recommend putting it back within the page margins and lowering the systems on each page as well because there's more space on the bottom than at the top as is
- "Suspense" doesn't need to be capitalized

[Sebastian]

Nice to see you again glad we can finally get this one up!

Great to be back. 

- m. 15-16, 23-24, 31-32 would be better with the middle voice on the top staff, since it's being played by the right hand and those voice is already on the top staff everywhere else.

Adjusted.

- I think the slurs could use a bit of adjusting in m. 26 and 34. In m. 26 the first slur is awkwardly curved at in m. 34 having the slurs start and end on top of beat 1 looks rather odd (perhaps flip the first slur downwards like in m. 26?

Cleaned this up.

- Speaking of m. 26/34, do you think the grace notes might be better written as D#/F# instead of Eb/Gb? The Eb is part of the key signature but the grace note chromatically approaches the En.

I mean, I guess either could work. What's your recommendation? Personally, I like to stay diatonic, but if you think changing them would be better I'm chill with that.

- I'd highly recommend removing the courtesy naturals on the F# in m. 50 and 55 - there's sufficient space from the previous F#

Axed 'em.

- Rhythm grouping in beats 3-4 of m. 55

Fix'd.

- The beat 1 C's in the right hand in m. 57-60 are offset too far to the right

Yeah, stupid finale. Fix'd.

- I'd recommend putting dynamics at the beginning and ending of the crescendo in the last four bars. It starts out pretty quiet in the original and seems to build up more tension than it returns to at the beginning of the repeat. How does p < f sound?
- Your header/footer text is outside the page margins; I would recommend putting it back within the page margins and lowering the systems on each page as well because there's more space on the bottom than at the top as is
- "Suspense" doesn't need to be capitalized

Good suggestions. Fix'd.

I appreciate your time and feedback!

[Latios212]

- Speaking of m. 26/34, do you think the grace notes might be better written as D#/F# instead of Eb/Gb? The Eb is part of the key signature but the grace note chromatically approaches the En.

I mean, I guess either could work. What's your recommendation? Personally, I like to stay diatonic, but if you think changing them would be better I'm chill with that.

I think I would prefer D#/F# so it clearly shows the ascending contour to the C major chord. Also about the slurs, if you're using one slur it'd be best to have it start on the first grace note in the phrase.

- Your header/footer text is outside the page margins; I would recommend putting it back within the page margins
- "Suspense" doesn't need to be capitalized

The 2nd/3rd page mini-titles are good, but the page numbers as well as the first page's header and footer are still outside the margins. Feel free to refer to #2 here for what I mean (basically just set the height to 0 so it's consistent)

Lastly, I just realized that the crescendo in m. 5 goes nowhere (no target dynamic), and the "Eye" in the game title needs to be capitalized.

That should be all from me, everything else looks good

[Sebastian]

Fix'd.

[Latios212]

Re: margins - I'm not quite sure what you were going for, but my suggestion as per the help guide was to set the page margin value to what you want and set the (horizontal and vertical) text box margins to zero so that they fit snugly against the margins. What you have now is margins that don't represent the actual margins and the text not aligned properly. Compare before and after:

Spoiler

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[close]

Spoiler

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[close]

That's all, not a thing to hold the submission up over but wanted to make sure that was clear so the sheet looks polished. I'll approve for the next person to review, but please update it

[Bloop]

Looks pretty solid! There's just a few (recurring) things I noticed:
-Anytime you have this figure:
You cannot view this attachment.
I hear it as this instead:
You cannot view this attachment.
-I hear the marimba figure that plays in m15-16 (and else where) an octave lower. It doesn't matter too much either way, but having it an octave lower does allow you to keep the "high" C from the strings.
-From 37 on, it may be a nice effect to add a long C an octave below the L.H. every 2 or 4 bars, to add a bit of tension and to imitate the low strings.
-m50 and 54: I hear a C on beat 2 instead of a D.

[Sebastian]

Re: margins - I'm not quite sure what you were going for, but my suggestion as per the help guide was to set the page margin value to what you want and set the (horizontal and vertical) text box margins to zero so that they fit snugly against the margins. What you have now is margins that don't represent the actual margins and the text not aligned properly. Compare before and after:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

That's all, not a thing to hold the submission up over but wanted to make sure that was clear so the sheet looks polished. I'll approve for the next person to review, but please update it

Ohhh, ok. Those tools are somewhat new to me, so thanks for the explanation! Think I got it.

Looks pretty solid! There's just a few (recurring) things I noticed:
-Anytime you have this figure:
You cannot view this attachment.
I hear it as this instead:
You cannot view this attachment.

I'm DEFINITELY hearing a C...but after listening to it again, I actually do hear the D and Eb, as well. I did both.

-I hear the marimba figure that plays in m15-16 (and else where) an octave lower. It doesn't matter too much either way, but having it an octave lower does allow you to keep the "high" C from the strings.

Yeah, I purposely transferred the marimba part up an octave. I think I'll leave it as is.

-From 37 on, it may be a nice effect to add a long C an octave below the L.H. every 2 or 4 bars, to add a bit of tension and to imitate the low strings.

Good suggestion. Updated.

-m50 and 54: I hear a C on beat 2 instead of a D.

I'm for sure hearing a D. Any second opinions?

[Bloop]

I'm DEFINITELY hearing a C...but after listening to it again, I actually do hear the D and Eb, as well. I did both.

I hear it now too!

I'm for sure hearing a D. Any second opinions?

And after some closer audiostretch listening, I hear this as a D too, so looks good!

After a quick Discord back-and-forth about the margins (which were still a bit off), I updated the files and am ready to accept!
You cannot view this attachment.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Bloop.

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