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[Bloop]

Paper Mario
Story of the Stolen Spirits
[ZIP]

This is the introductory story, where Bowser kidnaps the 7 Star Spirits in Star Haven, which is in space :p

VVVVVV
Pushing Onwards
[ZIP]

Game takes place in space
although maybe technically an alternate dimension
idk i haven't played it in a while but it's probably sci-fi

[Static]

Story of the Stolen Spirits

• m9-12, 14-17, 19 LH: The Eb chords are missing a D (should be Ebmaj7), and the Abm chords are missing an F as well (should be F half diminished with Eb in the bass). Probably just change the lowest note on beat 2.
• m21 RH: It sounds to me like the 2nd layer voices all move up in parallel:
  
• m25 RH: All the offbeat 8th notes should be F#s
• m34 RH: The first note in the triplet part sounds like a Db I think, or maybe it's both a Db and Dn at once.
• m47-48: Isn't a caesura normally used when a break is between bars/beats? I thought fermatas only go directly over notes/rests
• m49 beat 2: I'm hearing an additional E and G here:
  
• m50 RH top layer beat 4: Tie should be flipped up
• m51 LH: On the very last chord, I hear an Ab above the Bb as well

Great sheet

[Latios212]

Pushing Onwards

What a piece, haha. This sheet is rather long but it's so well structured this should actually be fairly straightforward to check... not tonight though ^^ But just skimming this looks great - overall manageable to play unlike this incredibly awesome but absolutely bonkers cover

While I'm here, though, I do have one thing to mention. When playing the game and listening to the original I've always heard the second melody note in m. 3 and similar as a D# below the G#s preceding and following it. The cover above agrees with what you wrote and uses in a G# there, but I think the G# on beat 1.5 in the original comes from the bass voice. It's a bit hard to tell since it's all chiptune, but there's definitely a D# on beat 1.5 that's doesn't conform to the pattern of the left hand, so I think it must be the melody.

Also, the LH parentheses on beat 2.5 aren't necessary in any of these measures.

[Bloop]

Story of the Stolen Spirits

• m9-12, 14-17, 19 LH: The Eb chords are missing a D (should be Ebmaj7), and the Abm chords are missing an F as well (should be F half diminished with Eb in the bass). Probably just change the lowest note on beat 2.

I still hear the low Eb pretty clearly in the Fø chords, so I just added the F instead of replacing a note.

• m34 RH: The first note in the triplet part sounds like a Db I think, or maybe it's both a Db and Dn at once.

Ah yeah, I hear it now too, as a grace note I think. Added it in like that!

• m47-48: Isn't a caesura normally used when a break is between bars/beats? I thought fermatas only go directly over notes/rests

Oh I have seen fermates over barlines too, and Gould mentions that a fermata (or pause, as she calls it) can go over barlines too

Fixed everything else as well!

Pushing Onwards

When playing the game and listening to the original I've always heard the second melody note in m. 3 and similar as a D# below the G#s preceding and following it. The cover above agrees with what you wrote and uses in a G# there, but I think the G# on beat 1.5 in the original comes from the bass voice. It's a bit hard to tell since it's all chiptune, but there's definitely a D# on beat 1.5 that's doesn't conform to the pattern of the left hand, so I think it must be the melody.

Oh yeah you're right, it's easier to hear when slowed down, funny how I never heard it that way :p Fixed! In m19, I found it a bit too awkward to try and add it in the L.H. (since the R.H. has to play that high G#), so I just chose to let the melody come in a bit later.

Also, the LH parentheses on beat 2.5 aren't necessary in any of these measures.

I added those in because of the legato slur in the R.H.: if the L.H. were to play the note, the R.H. technically can't play the previous note legato. Tho it could just be a bit too nitpicky :p I originally had this written like in this incredibly awesome but absolutely bonkers cover, where I just had a rest on the places where I added parentheses now, but I figured having it like this is a bit clearer.

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Story of the Stolen Spirits
Looks good, but m34 appears messed up on my end, it's missing the first layer in the RH:

Not sure if it's like that for you...

[Latios212]

Pushing Onwards

Oh yeah you're right, it's easier to hear when slowed down, funny how I never heard it that way :p Fixed! In m19, I found it a bit too awkward to try and add it in the L.H. (since the R.H. has to play that high G#), so I just chose to let the melody come in a bit later.

I added those in because of the legato slur in the R.H.: if the L.H. were to play the note, the R.H. technically can't play the previous note legato. Tho it could just be a bit too nitpicky :p I originally had this written like in this incredibly awesome but absolutely bonkers cover, where I just had a rest on the places where I added parentheses now, but I figured having it like this is a bit clearer.

Sounds good! Did you mean to change the melody beat 1.5 to D# in m. 27 too?

Other feedback, after combing through the whole thing now:
- You can shave off a couple of pages by using 5 systems per page, there's enough room for that
- The use of double barlines in this sheet seems... a bit arbitrary at times to me? Some of them like 55 and 87 definitely correspond to major section changes, but some other ones like 19 and 19 don't seem like significant section changes to me. At a glance, some other places like m. 11/31 when a new melody comes in seem more fitting to me, but let me know what your thoughts are!
- I think this could use some dynamic variation. Some things to note are the buildup in m. 55+, the cooldown around m. 71+, and the climaxes at 87-94 and 119.

And just some misc. small things:
- For m. 6, perhaps write in the low D# in the RH and add a parentheses? It's part of the melody so I think it makes sense to notate
- m. 15 is spaced funny for some reason (it's squished)
- The second layer rests could be lowered a bit in m. 9/52/54 so they're not so close to the staff. Also 23/75 so they're below the first layer
- Bass plays C# instead of E in m. 37
- Would it make sense to write in a whole note G# in the second layer of m. 71 for continuity of the lower voice (and so the texture doesn't thin out so suddenly)?

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Looks good, but m34 appears messed up on my end, it's missing the first layer in the RH:
[image]
Not sure if it's like that for you...

Oh, yeah, maybe I deleted it accidentally just before saving, it's fixed now tho ^^

Sounds good! Did you mean to change the melody beat 1.5 to D# in m. 27 too?

Oh whoops, overlooked that one, added it in!

- The use of double barlines in this sheet seems... a bit arbitrary at times to me? Some of them like 55 and 87 definitely correspond to major section changes, but some other ones like 19 and 19 don't seem like significant section changes to me. At a glance, some other places like m. 11/31 when a new melody comes in seem more fitting to me, but let me know what your thoughts are!

I mostly used the double barlines to divide the piece into a few sections, so the player has a little bit of structure. The ones at 19 and 39 for example are there because m1-18 and m19-38 are mostly similar sections, after which a new or extended section begins. I didn't want to put too many double barlines in, though, because that felt a bit excessive.

- I think this could use some dynamic variation. Some things to note are the buildup in m. 55+, the cooldown around m. 71+, and the climaxes at 87-94 and 119.

Oh whoops, seems I totally forgot to add in dynamics in general, fixed!

- For m. 6, perhaps write in the low D# in the RH and add a parentheses? It's part of the melody so I think it makes sense to notate

I actually just didn't notice it was there at first :p Added them in m6 and other measures too!

- Would it make sense to write in a whole note G# in the second layer of m. 71 for continuity of the lower voice (and so the texture doesn't thin out so suddenly)?

Oh yeah that makes sense, added it in!

[Latios212]

Pushing Onwards

I mostly used the double barlines to divide the piece into a few sections, so the player has a little bit of structure. The ones at 19 and 39 for example are there because m1-18 and m19-38 are mostly similar sections, after which a new or extended section begins. I didn't want to put too many double barlines in, though, because that felt a bit excessive.

Alrighty, will defer to your judgement on this one~

Other things look good, although I noticed the measure distribution changed in some places to have some 4-measure systems in seemingly arbitrary places. Any particular reason for that?

Just about ready to approve after that, on faith that the articulations and slurs look okay in your Finale version

[Latios212]

Story of the Stolen Spirits

- m. 13: I hear a Cn in the beat 3 chord
- m. 10/12/14/16/18/20 - any reason not to include the offbeat note on beat 1.5 similar to m. 23-24? Was it perhaps to match the accompaniment at the beginning a bit better?
- The parentheses are awkwardly italicized in the tempo marking in m. 29
- Are there double barlines at the key changes? Might just be a Finale thing along with the articulations being messed up on my version...
- m. 34: I don't hear a Dn on beat 1 of layer 2, it sounds like a Db to me? Maybe get rid of the C#/Cn in layer 1 to make room for it?
- LH chord in the last measure should be stemmed downwards

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Other things look good, although I noticed the measure distribution changed in some places to have some 4-measure systems in seemingly arbitrary places. Any particular reason for that?

Not really, it was just Finale deciding that there was place for them :p I changed it to be consistently 3 measures again, which does look a bit better (and fills the last page a bit more nicely)!

- m. 10/12/14/16/18/20 - any reason not to include the offbeat note on beat 1.5 similar to m. 23-24? Was it perhaps to match the accompaniment at the beginning a bit better?

Yeah it was for consistency, as well as in the odd measures you didn't note because the G on beat 1.5 might be mistaken as a melody note by the listener.

- Are there double barlines at the key changes? Might just be a Finale thing along with the articulations being messed up on my version...

There are yeah, no worries :p You can see them in the pdf in the zip in the op as well.

- m. 34: I don't hear a Dn on beat 1 of layer 2, it sounds like a Db to me? Maybe get rid of the C#/Cn in layer 1 to make room for it?

Hm, I think I might be hearing the organ D as being part of the sitar as well, it's hard for me to unhear it. Anyway, I changed it to a Db and removed the grace note ^^

Fixed the rest too!

[Latios212]

Pushing Onwards

Not really, it was just Finale deciding that there was place for them :p I changed it to be consistently 3 measures again, which does look a bit better (and fills the last page a bit more nicely)!

Awesome, approved

Story of the Stolen Spirits

Nothing more to add, accepting!

[Static]

Pushing Onwards

• Terry Cavanagh should be added as the developer. I'm pretty sure Nicalis only published the console ports, so honestly you probably don't need to include them.
• m7 RH beat 2.5: Maybe put a slur here, like in m3?
• m40 RH beat 1.5 (and similar): Would recommend a tenuto here, these 8th notes are played kinda long.
• m42 RH beats 3 and 4 (and similar): Same as above
• m55 RH beat 3.5 (and similar): Also same as above
• m63 RH beat 1: Quarter rest in Layer 2 is touching the note above it
• m89/93/121/125 RH beat 3.5: This note sounds legato to me
• m117 RH beat 1: Quarter rest touching slur
• Some of your top systems are pretty close to page titles, namely pages 3 and 9.

Cool sheet, it was hard to stop listening to the track on repeat while checking lol

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• m89/93/121/125 RH beat 3.5: This note sounds legato to me

I think that's from the accompaniment part, the higher notes of the melody sound staccato to me. Fixed everything else though!

[Static]

I think that's from the accompaniment part, the higher notes of the melody sound staccato to me. Fixed everything else though!

Ah yeah, I think so too. I'll accept