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[GCN] Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life - "Quiet Winter (Song of Silence)" by Code_Name_Geek

Started by Zeta, September 24, 2022, 03:06:52 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons
Game: Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Quiet Winter (Song of Silence)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Code_Name_Geek

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Code_Name_Geek


In honour of the upcoming remake!

Quiet Winter is the English name of the song according to the in-game record player, but it is also often known as Song of Silence, a translation of the Japanese title.

Kricketune54

No take from me on the title but a few things

Formating
- The tempo and dynamic could move down a little bit and a little to the right (mp dynamic so that it is a bit more centered between staffs)
- m13, 17, and 18 RH top layer rests could come down within the staff (pictured m17-18 idea)
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Notes
- m2 LH overall hearing this go a bit differently. I separated the melody strings from the lower notes but feel free to mix some of the notes into the RH from what I transcribed
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- m3 and m5 RH and a few other spots there should be an F# at the top of this chord just like m4. Basically anytime this chord with Bn-D#-En appears there is an F# on top
- m3, 4, 5, 7, and 8 LH I hear the same note an octave above what is currently present, though
- m12 and m16 LH beat 1 I hear a D# above the B
- m14 RH beat 1 there's an F# under the current notes
- m17 RH lower layer I don't hear the two 16ths at the end of the measure but that the C# is an 8th note.
- m18 RH The harp strings play a D# on beat 1, as well as the G# which is actually a quarter note. The notes then move down to C#-F#
- m18 LH beat 3.0 to 3.75: the notes should be Gn, F#, D#, B. Technically this whole measure is down an octave but maybe it's easier to transition after the repeat as is.
- Overall this is how I hear m18 going (tho keeping current octave on LH beat 3). To keep the lower RH layer playable perhaps move to LH
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m11-m18 this section needs a bit of a look for the RH part. The two layers' notes should spell out two different parts (harp and that key instrument) and currently there's a sort of mixture that isn't quite as representative as it could be

Libera


Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 31, 2022, 08:57:45 AMFormating
- The tempo and dynamic could move down a little bit and a little to the right (mp dynamic so that it is a bit more centered between staffs)
- m13, 17, and 18 RH top layer rests could come down within the staff (pictured m17-18 idea)
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Done.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 31, 2022, 08:57:45 AM- m2 LH overall hearing this go a bit differently. I separated the melody strings from the lower notes but feel free to mix some of the notes into the RH from what I transcribed
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Oh yeah, I hear what you're saying. I kept everything in the LH except the B.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 31, 2022, 08:57:45 AM- m3 and m5 RH and a few other spots there should be an F# at the top of this chord just like m4. Basically anytime this chord with Bn-D#-En appears there is an F# on top
- m3, 4, 5, 7, and 8 LH I hear the same note an octave above what is currently present, though
-Added.
-Just to clarify, did you mean adding octaves on top of the bass notes? Originally I left those out to keep it lighter, but looking again I think it balances out the chord more to keep them in.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 31, 2022, 08:57:45 AM- m12 and m16 LH beat 1 I hear a D# above the B
- m14 RH beat 1 there's an F# under the current notes
- m17 RH lower layer I don't hear the two 16ths at the end of the measure but that the C# is an 8th note.
Fixed all of these. I also added a roll on beat 1 of m14 in the RH since the string instrument strums that chord there.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 31, 2022, 08:57:45 AM- m18 RH The harp strings play a D# on beat 1, as well as the G# which is actually a quarter note. The notes then move down to C#-F#
- m18 LH beat 3.0 to 3.75: the notes should be Gn, F#, D#, B. Technically this whole measure is down an octave but maybe it's easier to transition after the repeat as is.
- Overall this is how I hear m18 going (tho keeping current octave on LH beat 3). To keep the lower RH layer playable perhaps move to LH
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Got it, and yeah the LH is intentionally up an octave here to make the transition on the repeat smoother.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 31, 2022, 08:57:45 AMm11-m18 this section needs a bit of a look for the RH part. The two layers' notes should spell out two different parts (harp and that key instrument) and currently there's a sort of mixture that isn't quite as representative as it could be
This part has given me a lot of trouble formatting-wise. Keeping the layers consistent the whole way through makes it near-unreadable, so currently what I have is this:
m.11-12 - Key instrument in layer 1, string instrument in layer 2
m. 13 - String instrument in layer 1, key instrument in layer 2
Since the two parts cross over each other in terms of range, switching the layers between m. 12 and 13 seemed to produce the best balance of readability and accuracy. That said, if anyone has other suggestions for formatting the layers here I'm all ears.

Thank you for the feedback and note corrections, it's much appreciated! And sorry for the late reply, it's been busy lately.

Kricketune54

Quote-Just to clarify, did you mean adding octaves on top of the bass notes? Originally I left those out to keep it lighter, but looking again I think it balances out the chord more to keep them in.

Oh yeah I meant adding octaves on top, I heard the E's you have and an E up an octave being played as a part of the guitar notes. Either works as far as keeping or balancing out!

Libera

A few things from me, just some cleanup with regards to voicings mostly.

-I don't hear this low An in bar 2 beat 3.
-The octaves in 3-5 etc. might be a little overkill compared to the way you've written the rest of the piece.  Otherwise I feel the harmony gets a little lopsided (E is tripled and then one of each B D# F# etc.)
-Pretty much everywhere you have this low B-D# dyad (bar 6, 12 etc.) I think it would sound stronger/more balanced as B-F#.
-The second first layer note in the RH of bar 9 sounds like an F# to me, not an A#.
-I think the end of bar 10 should be an octave lower in the left hand, running into the E on beat 1 of bar 11 being an octave lower also, like in bar 15.
-Maybe more of the chords could be rolled, like in 10, but I don't mind that much.
-Could we have the second layer offset to the left slightly in bars 11-12, 15 etc. where it's directly on top of the first layer.  It would look a lot neater that way.
-I'm not sure there's too much purpose to the second layer in bar 14.  You could get rid of the rest by merging the layers there.
-The voicing gets a little confusing in the final bar because the bass has been put up the octave.  The bass sounds like it's playing an A# on beat 3 (and then descends as a Bmaj7 chord, so the En should be a D# I think) but the Gn from the upper parts now crosses underneath that note.  I don't think it would be that big of a deal to put at least from beat 2.5 back down the octave to avoid this voicing confusion.  Maybe there's another solution as well.

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Libera on January 07, 2023, 08:55:35 AM-I don't hear this low An in bar 2 beat 3.
Yeah I'm not sure about the pitch there. I'm definitely hearing some bass note there but it's hard to tell what it is, maybe a G natural? That's what I put for now.

Quote from: Libera on January 07, 2023, 08:55:35 AM-The octaves in 3-5 etc. might be a little overkill compared to the way you've written the rest of the piece.  Otherwise I feel the harmony gets a little lopsided (E is tripled and then one of each B D# F# etc.)
-Pretty much everywhere you have this low B-D# dyad (bar 6, 12 etc.) I think it would sound stronger/more balanced as B-F#.
Agreed with both of these, the second one especially makes it sound a lot better. Good suggestion!

Quote from: Libera on January 07, 2023, 08:55:35 AM-I think the end of bar 10 should be an octave lower in the left hand, running into the E on beat 1 of bar 11 being an octave lower also, like in bar 15.
This is the one thing I don't fully agree with. I'm hearing the bass jump down an octave in bar 11, but stay on the same pitch in bar 15. The bass is an octave lower than where I have it written, but I think taking it down would be too low on piano.

Quote from: Libera on January 07, 2023, 08:55:35 AM-Maybe more of the chords could be rolled, like in 10, but I don't mind that much.
Is that on beat 1? I'm not hearing an obvious roll, but maybe there's a really subtle roll in the mallet instrument. I wouldn't be opposed to adding some more rolls, just not sure exactly where to put them.

Quote from: Libera on January 07, 2023, 08:55:35 AM-Could we have the second layer offset to the left slightly in bars 11-12, 15 etc. where it's directly on top of the first layer.  It would look a lot neater that way.
-I'm not sure there's too much purpose to the second layer in bar 14.  You could get rid of the rest by merging the layers there.
Fixed both of these.

Quote from: Libera on January 07, 2023, 08:55:35 AM-The voicing gets a little confusing in the final bar because the bass has been put up the octave.  The bass sounds like it's playing an A# on beat 3 (and then descends as a Bmaj7 chord, so the En should be a D# I think) but the Gn from the upper parts now crosses underneath that note.  I don't think it would be that big of a deal to put at least from beat 2.5 back down the octave to avoid this voicing confusion.  Maybe there's another solution as well.
That makes sense. I think I followed all the suggestions here, plus moving the G natural into the right hand.

The only other question I have is whether there's a neater way to write m10, especially with the two rests? But it's probably fine the way it is too, just wondering.

Thanks so much for the feedback!

Libera

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on January 21, 2023, 10:51:34 AMThis is the one thing I don't fully agree with. I'm hearing the bass jump down an octave in bar 11, but stay on the same pitch in bar 15. The bass is an octave lower than where I have it written, but I think taking it down would be too low on piano.

Ah I see what you mean now.  Looks good then.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on January 21, 2023, 10:51:34 AMIs that on beat 1? I'm not hearing an obvious roll, but maybe there's a really subtle roll in the mallet instrument. I wouldn't be opposed to adding some more rolls, just not sure exactly where to put them.

I guess I'm thinking about the guitar strumming in terms of rolls, and the one in bar 10 just stood out to me most of all.  Like beat 3 bar 2, beat 1 of bars 3, 4, 5 etc.  As I said, I don't really mind that much but including them is probably what I would have done.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on January 21, 2023, 10:51:34 AMThe only other question I have is whether there's a neater way to write m10, especially with the two rests? But it's probably fine the way it is too, just wondering.

Maybe this?  This is a little neater maybe since it has no rests, but I don't think what you have now is that big of an issue.

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Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Libera on January 21, 2023, 02:01:02 PMI guess I'm thinking about the guitar strumming in terms of rolls, and the one in bar 10 just stood out to me most of all.  Like beat 3 bar 2, beat 1 of bars 3, 4, 5 etc.  As I said, I don't really mind that much but including them is probably what I would have done.
Oh yeah, I see what you mean. I actually like the rolls in those spots, it makes beat 1 feel less heavy than not having them, so I added them in.

Quote from: Libera on January 21, 2023, 02:01:02 PMMaybe this?  This is a little neater maybe since it has no rests, but I don't think what you have now is that big of an issue.

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That option gave me the idea to try something that's a little more representative of the two lines in that bar, which I think is my favourite solution so far? If it's more readable the old way I can change it back though.

Thanks again!

Libera

That all looks great, so I'll approve!  Just make sure to update the musx as well.

Code_Name_Geek


Bloop

-m1: You could add an octave above the L.H., since the guitar doubles the bass here.
-m2: You could add a dashed line from the L.H. A# to the R.H. B, since it's the same voice crossing between staves. Mostly same in m18 too.
-m18: If you want, you could move up the bass an octave from beat 2.5 to the end too, since it has been up an octave for most of the song. The hands crossing isn't that hard here ^^

I think that's all from me though, looking good!

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Bloop on February 25, 2023, 05:48:30 AM-m1: You could add an octave above the L.H., since the guitar doubles the bass here.
-m2: You could add a dashed line from the L.H. A# to the R.H. B, since it's the same voice crossing between staves. Mostly same in m18 too.
-m18: If you want, you could move up the bass an octave from beat 2.5 to the end too, since it has been up an octave for most of the song. The hands crossing isn't that hard here ^^

I think that's all from me though, looking good!
-Sounds good to me.
-I thought it looked odd to have a rest in the LH in m2, so I moved the B to the LH and put the line between that and the C# instead. Also added the line in m18.
-Yeah I think I like the bass up an octave better, it sounds a little abrupt to have it suddenly jump down.

That should be it, thanks!

Bloop