Literature

[Jub3r7]

Episode 1

      A boy realized that his perception created his own experiences, so he decided to create an experience for himself that involved something he desired. He desired that this occurrence would result because of how strong his desire was, and because of this reason his desire increased even more for the experience to happen.

      Finally, his perception of his own strong desire for an experience manifested itself in the form of an invisible man. Or at least the boy thought it was an invisible man; for, a long top hat with a red ring seemed to be floating in the air, ever slightly tilting upward as if an invisible face were examining the boy.

      The boy, not sure what the experience would result in, asked that hat, "Why are you here, and who are you?"

      "Why do you ask who my hat is, when I'm the one who is more likely to respond to you?", asked the invisible face. "And while we're asking of identities and purpose of manifestation, who are you and why are you here?"

      "I'm a boy that desired for my perception to create an experience from my desires, and I'm here because I belong here."

      "Who are you to decide so early in life whether or not you belong here? And based on your introduction, may I ask what you desire?"

      "I am myself, therefore I decide where I belong. I desire to have something to desire."

      "Don't you already fulfill your own wish, then? What is the purpose of my manifestation if your desire to have something to desire is already fulfilled by that same desire?"

      "I don't quite know, but I suppose you're right in the fact that my desire is fulfilled by the desire. However, I think I realized this when I manifested you, so there must be some other desire that I had in mind!"

      However, the floating top hat had already disappeared, having fulfilled its purpose in the boy's perception.

      The boy, thinking about this experience for a very long time, finally came to a conclusion as to what he truly desired. He wanted a red-ringed top hat.

[Fleetstar The Flygon]

...A simple-minded creature like me can't comprehend that passage.

[Raymondbl]

...A simple-minded creature like me can't comprehend that passage.

No, you're not simple minded.  It's kind of philosphical...

I think.... a boy realized that his imagination-induced images often include things he desired.  So he thought he wanted the hat he saw in his imagination. 

Am I right?

[Fleetstar The Flygon]

So he manifests his desire to desire something into a single being meant to be desired, and once it is done being desired it goes away, but then he realizes he DID know what he desired after all?

[Jub3r7]

What's a work of literature without criticism and an author's input on the meaning of the piece?
I bolded the main points because otherwise it's a tl;dr.

          Lord-English who the hell are you?
23:51   Write   They say look around, buildings collapse, planes falling down -  The world is not what it used to be.
23:51   HugoMeister   oh the irony!!!!
23:51   Write   But she'll never sell out her world she loves it - she's a little girl And they were like her once
23:51   Write   OH
23:51   Write   I GET IT, WHO IS LE
23:51   Write   Anyways
23:51   Write   I'm that one guy
23:51   Write   I'm a boy that desired for my perception to create an experience from my desires
23:52   Lord-English   ...
23:52   Write   http://www.ninsheetm.us/smf/index.php?topic=4324.new#new
23:52   Lord-English   but seriously
23:52   Lord-English   oh
23:52   Lord-English   hi Jub
23:52   Write   XD
23:52   Write   Hello
23:53   Write   Anyways, are people actually reading that or did I make it too repetitive?
23:54   Write   Repitititition is a literary device.
23:54   HugoMeister   never bothered, heheheheheheh
23:54   Write   Tis what I thought.
23:57   Write   So how's the story?
23:58   Deathykloak   I'm about to play League of Legends, haven't been reading sorry
00:01      *** Ghost|WoW is now known as BlueWind
00:01   Lord-English   hiii BlueWind
00:01   BlueWind   Hello
00:02   Deathykloak   bluewindsux
00:02      *** Deathykloak is now known as Deathy_LoL
00:02      *** Discord quit (Quit: OOOOONE THOUSAND OOOOOOONE NIGHTS UNSEEEEEEEEEEEN! THE PHIIIIIIIILOSOPHER AND THE QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! ONE THOUSAND OOOONE)
00:02   VG   Write: It's interesting, but I'm not sure that the repetition is doing you any favours in this case.
00:03   Write   
00:03   Write   Thanks for the input.
00:03   VG   Hey I'm not done yet!
00:04   VG   Lemme think for a bit
00:04   Write   O:
00:04   Nighthawk_Koopa   :morton2:
00:04   Lord-English   well, excuuuse him VG
00:04   Nighthawk_Koopa   :morton2:
00:04   Lord-English   :morton3:
00:04      *** Umbreon quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
00:05   Write   I really do appreciate any input, as I'm out of practice with writing.
00:05   Nighthawk_Koopa   on what
00:05   Write   on anything.
00:05   Nighthawk_Koopa   it's really short i dont think im reading anything
00:05   Nighthawk_Koopa   i can't even see the first word!
00:06   Nighthawk_Koopa   (link meh)
00:06   VG   The really formal tone you seem to have given these characters doesn't really lend itself to their intermittent use of contractions. If you want them to sound a bit more consistent you might consider cutting down on them somewhat. Not entirely, but, still.
00:06   Write   I see what you mean, actually.
00:06   Write   http://www.ninsheetm.us/smf/index.php?topic=4324.new#new @Nighthawk_Koopa
00:07   VG   "He desired that this occurrence would result because of how strong his desire was, and because of this reason his desire increased even more for the experience to happen." To put it perhaps a bit too bluntly, there's a line between repetitive and redundant, and this sentence crosses that line before taking a dump on it. =p
00:08   Write   XD
00:09   Write   His desire increased because of his desire of the occurrence that would result from how strong his desire was.
00:10   Nighthawk_Koopa   My main criticism of this is that if he created what he desired with his mind and what he truly desired was the top hat, why was there a voice?
00:10   BlueWind   Okay. I'm going to perform an amazing feat of strength.
00:10   BlueWind   I'm going to sleep. Before midnight.
00:10   BlueWind   AMAZING.
00:10   Write   how is that a criticism
00:10   Nighthawk_Koopa   sounds like he wanted a talking red ringed top hat
00:10   Nighthawk_Koopa   it doesnt make sense
00:10   BlueWind   Goodnight guys
00:10   VG   Why does the strength of said desire have anything to do with it, though? As a reader, when I see "A boy realized that hsi perception created his own experiences", I get the idea of a lucid dreamer who's able to conjure up anything without effort
00:10   Write   ...Thanks
00:10   Nighthawk_Koopa   good night
00:10      *** BlueWind quit (Quit: Deathy is the cutest thing ever.)
00:10   Lord-English   night
00:10   VG   Nighthawk_Koopa: The voice is his subconscious, most likely
00:11   VG   That's how I see it anyway
00:11   Nighthawk_Koopa   His imagination says that the hat is the one talking though.
00:11   Write   Well, that statement is supposed to be true for everybody.
00:11   Nighthawk_Koopa   *the head below the hat.
00:11   Write   But at first he talks to the hat and not the head below it.
00:11   VG   Wait what, which statement?
00:11   Write   "A boy realized that hsi perception created his own experiences"
00:12      *** DBane joined #lemmysland
00:12   Write   Not just a lucid dreamer, but one who realizes his own potential.
00:13   Write   *not necessarily a lucid dreamer.
00:13   VG   Not to be tangential, but his potential is "wanting a top hat with a red ribbon around the crown"? =p
00:13   VG   kind of a sucky life =p
00:13   Lord-English   hi Dbane
00:13   DBane   hi
00:14   Write   Many of us struggle to realize what we desire; we just know that we desire something.
00:14   VG   Right, I got that much.
00:15   Write   I suppose the top hat represents an item we desire that we don't realize at first
00:15   Write   Anyways, I'm glad you can read something that bad from a literary perspective, vg!
00:16   Write   Otherwise no one would see the point and I'd forget about it and not try to improve.
00:16   VG   You may want to make the wording a bit more clear, then. The word "create" in particular is questionable, because we often associate it with the idea of conjuring something
00:17   Write   Wouldn't you say that we conjure our own experiences by perceiving it?
00:17   Write   Otherwise we wouldn't have those experiences.
00:18   Write   Also, the thing in the signature is an inside joke made in swap note so yeah
00:18   VG   That's a pretty existential point of view, but all the same I think "perceiving" may not be the best word either! "A perception" of something, and "perceiving" something can mean markedly different things depending on the concept. In general, I think people will associate "Perceiving" with simply "observing", rather than having one's unique take on a situation
00:19   Write   I feel like it's both simeultaneously
00:19   Write   We all observe or perceive or experience different things, even when we're looking at the same object.
00:19   VG   It can certainly be, but an important part of writing, especially when tackling more abstract ideas like this, is to consider how the audience perceives ( =p ) the work, not just how you do.
00:20   Write   I'm starting to see that now. XD
00:20   VG   I'm not saying dumb yourself down, but definitely try to get some input from other people and see what they think
00:20   VG   Because obviously I had a very different idea of what was happening here
00:20   Write   You perceived it differently than I did!
00:20   VG   Pretty much!
00:21   Write   But you definitely understood more than Nighthawk_Koopa
00:21   Write   >.>
00:21   Nighthawk_Koopa   
00:21   Write   lol jk
00:21   VG   I don't think it's necessary to say things like that =p
00:21   Nighthawk_Koopa   i know i'm bad at criticizing things
00:21   Write   I'm joking nighthawk
00:21   Nighthawk_Koopa   it's fine
00:21   Nighthawk_Koopa   i was too
00:21   Write   I know, that's why I thought you would take it as a joke
00:21   Write   Anyways, now that we have things straight
00:22   Nighthawk_Koopa   I knew that because I created you.  It's just one deeper level of irony.
00:22   Write   I created you too!
00:22   Nighthawk_Koopa   I'm probably horribly quoting Dirk.
00:22   Write   You are?

[SlowPokemon]

This is brilliant.

[MaestroUGC]

I once read an anecdote regarding Isaac Asimov sitting in a lecture of one of his own works:

"He once sat in the back of a large lecture hall on a class where the topic of discussion was one of his own works. Afterward, he went up and introduced himself to the teacher, saying that he had found the teacher's interpretation of the story interesting, though it really wasn't what he had meant at all. The teacher's response was "Just because you wrote it, what makes you think you have the slightest idea what it's about?"

I think you had some idea of what you wanted to get across with this, but I don't think you knew quite how to do it. I had to read it about three times in order to sort out what was actually being said. The repetition is a big problem (desire alone is stated 17 times, sometimes 3 times in a single sentence), which makes it harder to figure out the point. Repetition is good for ideas and motifs, but considering how short this story is, the idea gets lost in a sea of desire. Other than that, I think you tapped into something deeper here, good work.