Stage Band Arrangement Reviewing - "Throwback Galaxy" (SMG2)

[fingerz]

Hi guys! I was hoping if you could help me! I've just finished arranging a version of Throwback Galaxy from Super Mario Galaxy 2 for my Stage Band at school and I need as many people as possible to check whether it's good enough to play. Here's some of the things I hope you can help me with:

Notes: I'm pretty sure these are all right! If anything is slighty wrong, it could be the harmonies between different parts.
Chords: I've tried my hardest to make sure the chords for the guitar are correct, but my knowledge of obscure chords is limited so if I could use a better chord symbol, let me know!
Rythm: This should be alright. I decided to write the piece out in funk as my music director said it sounds more like funk than a fast swing. I've put down a basic beat for the guitar and drums as a guideline only. If you have any ideas how I can improve the piano part rythm for the part where the saxes have their soli, I would be grateful!
Notation: I just need this checked so I don't have any notes/rests obscuring the beat or anything else illegal like that.
Balance: I've never done anything like this before, so I'm not sure if I've balanced all the parts out well. Could someone who's had experience with this look over it for me? Thanks!
Dynamics: I'm not entirely sure about these either, so if someone could help me out here, thanks!
Articulation: I've made sure there's plenty of articulation in this arrangement, but not too much as to annoy the reader. If someone could just make sure I haven't gone overboard that'd be great!
Ending: I actually like the idea of what some other guy did for his ending on his arrangement of Throwback Galaxy for a stage band. I didn't like anything else though. If you could just make sure the ending wraps up nicely and works well, that'd be great! Also, if you have any other ideas for an ending, let me know!

And that's about it! If you have any major ideas which could improve this greatly, please tell me! I want to make this as good as possible! Also, refrain from listening to it too much. It sounds crap when it's not being played by a proper stage band! Below is a link to my arrangement and a YouTube video of the actual song! Thanks everyone!

Arrangement: Throwback!!

[JDMEK5]

That sounds sick! Absolutely pro! Nice work!

[Olimar12345]

I have some feedback for you:

1) The title. I mean, I guess it is the throwback galaxy, but come on, we all know it's the super mario 64 song.
2) The Arrangers. I don't think you should call yourselfs the arrangers, simply because you didn't arrange it. This is a transcription of a previous arrangement, with a small solo section added. There's no new material, or anything original done with it (excluding the last two or so bars).
3) I would avoid using swing 16ths, just for clarity's sake, but it's not really a big issue.
4) Your backgrounds at the solo section are too heavy and surrounding, if you know what I mean. Obviously they're just the same hits from earlier in the piece, but I think it's too much during the solos. Actually, it might be cool to keep them there, and take out just a few of them(maybe every other one, or at random. Mix it up!).
5) Your trombone parts has a problem: Measure 53 has a run that alternates between B and Bb at the bottom of the bass cleff staff. On a straight trombone, that B natural is going to be in 7th position(slide all the way out) and the Bb in 1st(all the way in). Only the Bass trombone can do this successfully, due to its system of triggers, but 99% of the time jazz players aren't going to have any of that hardware simply because it sounds better without it. That part has to be changed.
6) I think the ending sucked. It came out of nowhere and was over like that. Ending these tunes is the only real time you get to fully be creative-Take advantage of it!
7) The rhythm section needs to be notated differently. For the drum set, do you really think they're going to read every measure of their little groove? No, but if you put slash repeats on all of the measures that stayed similar, it might help. Take a look at how other people notate rhythm section parts.


Other than that, it's pretty nice. I might suggest that you stray from all tutti tho...

You know, I think Nacho had a nice arrangement of this somewhere, lemme look around...

[SlowPokemon]

My problem is that, in the Mario piano book, it's swing EIGHTHS, not swing sixteenths, and the tempo is just twice as fast. Swing 16ths don't really look pretty...

[Olimar12345]

You know, I think Nacho had a nice arrangement of this somewhere, lemme look around...

Found it: Click

Live recording:

[fingerz]

Thanks everyone! I'm glad some of you could help me! I'll get to work as soon as possible.

1) The title. I mean, I guess it is the throwback galaxy, but come on, we all know it's the super mario 64 song.

Aye aye! I'll give it the original name.

2) The Arrangers. I don't think you should call yourselfs the arrangers, simply because you didn't arrange it. This is a transcription of a previous arrangement, with a small solo section added. There's no new material, or anything original done with it (excluding the last two or so bars).

True. I think I'll kick him out now 'cause I'm scrapping the ending. I'm a transcriber now!

3) I would avoid using swing 16ths, just for clarity's sake, but it's not really a big issue.

So you suggest fast swing? Nacho's arrangement is in semi-quavers though...

4) Your backgrounds at the solo section are too heavy and surrounding, if you know what I mean. Obviously they're just the same hits from earlier in the piece, but I think it's too much during the solos. Actually, it might be cool to keep them there, and take out just a few of them(maybe every other one, or at random. Mix it up!).

Yeah, I agree. I'll work on them. Nacho's arrangement will give me some inspiration!

5) Your trombone parts has a problem: Measure 53 has a run that alternates between B and Bb at the bottom of the bass cleff staff. On a straight trombone, that B natural is going to be in 7th position(slide all the way out) and the Bb in 1st(all the way in). Only the Bass trombone can do this successfully, due to its system of triggers, but 99% of the time jazz players aren't going to have any of that hardware simply because it sounds better without it. That part has to be changed.

Thanks for that! I'm not a trombone player so I don't know that stuff. I'll keep it for our bass trombone player but I'll change it for everyone else.

6) I think the ending sucked. It came out of nowhere and was over like that. Ending these tunes is the only real time you get to fully be creative-Take advantage of it!

Yeah, true. I was thinking a 'big band' finish would be much more effective than what I'd already done. I'll use Nacho's for some inspiration.

7) The rhythm section needs to be notated differently. For the drum set, do you really think they're going to read every measure of their little groove? No, but if you put slash repeats on all of the measures that stayed similar, it might help. Take a look at how other people notate rhythm section parts.

Yeah, I've been meaning to do that but I don't know how to! Could you show me how? XD

You know, I think Nacho had a nice arrangement of this somewhere, lemme look around...

OMG thanks for that! I'm going to work on this and see how much I can improve it!

[fingerz]

Alrighty! I've gone through and fixed up plenty of things! Check it out for me now using the old link above in my first post.

Also, if anyone can think of a nice 'original' jazzy name for the song, let me know!

[Olimar12345]

I'm gonna be honest, it looks a lot like Nacho's-Not note for note, but big original things are very similar... I would almost call it an arrangement of his arrangement. 

[fingerz]

Yeah, I guess you could... I'm not exactly what you'd call good at being original. XD
Besides, I liked what he did with it, so I thought I'd use a little bit of this and a little bit of that...