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Wolfz Gaim REVEUZ!!!

Started by Wolf, February 27, 2013, 07:29:40 AM

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What do you think of my first game review?

Good! Keep it going!
Good.
It had some flaws
Bad
The worst game review I've ever seen!
I don't know.

Wolf

Ghosts'n Goblins

 Prologue

Oh god. I've been dying to do a review of this game. Mostly because it's one of the hardest games on the NES, or maybe even one of the hardest games of all time.

 Difficulty

The number 1 thing that comes to anybody's mind with this game. One thing I don't like about this game's difficulty is that it comes from having only two lives. Get hit 2 times and it's back to the beginning(or a checkpoint). But there's unlimited continues so you might say that makes up for the 2 hit deaths but it still doesn't help you much. In fact, every time you die, it shows the map with that Da! Da Na Na Na Nu Da! Nu Nu~~~ tune. And believe me this tune will make your ears bloody by the time you beat the game. Even more than Bloody tears Famicom version(also known as "Bloody Ears").
I'd at least beat this game with trial and error, but that's also hard for me. If not for the weird jumps it wouldn't have been a problem. But that jumping, kind of like the jumps Simon does in Castlevania, that's what bothers me. I'll call this jumping mechanism "the Castlevania jump". And one MORE thing I hate is that there is no health items. The first time I played this game, I thought those armor looking things the squealing ghosts drop were health. But NOPE! Just points. If you happened to care about the HIGH SCORE that much. Seriously though, it's a fucking tease! The game designers treated the gamers like some fucking dumbass or something.
 To sum up the difficulty scale for this game, it's like Super Mario Bros but with "the Castlevania jump", and with no mushrooms. And trust me, you do not wanna play dirty shit like that.

 Gameplay

Well it's just an average side scroller. Just go through an array of Ghosts and Goblins. But that's not all. There's zombies, devils, killer plants, and squealing weird things and so on. But I guess they couldn't fit all that in the title. Other than that, you can also get a variety of weapons too. There's your spear, knife, fireball, axe, and the shield. And If there's one weapon I recommend is the knife. It's fast and you can rapid fire them. Although you need the shield weapon to beat the final boss. And speaking of final boss...

Spoiler
Spoiler

If you made it to the final boss and beat him, you already know the feeling of backstabbing. Holy shit I have never played a game where it gives you the giant middle finger with extra gas poison. When you beat level 6 do you think it's the end? Hell yeah of course! After all the intense shit I went through. But no. You have to do all that shit again. When I beat the final boss and saw the text I was like "Man, for an ending it sure says some weird shit". But how the fuck was I supposed to know "This level was an illusion and was deviset(probably they meant devised but who knows)by satan" would mean "Sorry dude. You gotta play the game twice". If the difficulty pissed me off already, this was a whole new level of teasing gamers. The game is just raping gamers!
[close]

 Conclusion

Intense difficulty X2 = Fucking pandemonium. No more, no less. That just sums up the game.

Phew, got rid of that. I haven't played anything lately so the next review will be random.
The no.1 Star Fox nerd in Ninsheetmusic

Wolf

Hey guys! Like I already said, I haven't been playing anything for a while. So I thought I might as well review something you guys request so give me some requests! I'd be happy to play anything that's NES, SNES, Genesis, and maybe Switch.
The no.1 Star Fox nerd in Ninsheetmusic

mikey

Shovel knight or maybe ninja gaiden
unmotivated

SlowPokemon

I suggest Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on April 21, 2016, 02:56:11 PM
Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

Wolf

Ninja Gaiden

Mikey, why did you have to request such a hard game :'(. Seriously, this is one of the hardest NES games I have ever played aside from Ghosts'n Goblins. Besides, my last review was Ghosts'n Goblins so I'm having some kind of hardcore NES festival. If I made a 'Hard NES game scale', it'll be something like:

1: Ghosts'n Goblins
2: Ninja Gaiden
3: Castlevania

And I also heard there's Ninja Gaiden 2 and 3. But seeing the Castlevania trilogy all turned out I'm not gonna try the rest. Anyway on to the review.

 Prologue

One thing I do have to say about this game is that other than the hard difficulty, it's not that bad. Hell it's actually pretty good. The graphics are nice and cool, and the thing I find amusing are the cut scenes. I have never seen such a thing on the NES and it has some smooth animation going on there.

 Gameplay

 Like with most NES games, it's a side scroller. Although sometimes the level can start from the right side. One major mechanics are the wall jumping. Kind of like Batman I'd say. This wall jump is something you really have to get used to because it's primarily used in the entire game and sometimes it can save your life from falling. But it doesn't help that much though. Because whenever you die by falling, it's usually because you get knocked back by an enemy. You know, the kind of shit that happens in Castlevania. And when you get knocked back by an enemy, you can't clung on walls. Speaking of Castlevania, to use items, you have to press up and B. I know the NES doesn't have many buttons and B,A are already taken, but for a game like Ninja Gaiden, this is a little inconvenient. Usually I use items in tuff situations. You know, the kind of situation where there's like a million things trying to kill you. And this game is a platform jumping game. So I'm constantly hoping on platforms while killing everything on sight and trying not to get hit since one hit will drop me to my doom. And I need to steer myself when I'm landing. But I also have to use my items since one katana can't do much. So my fingers go up and then left/right. This is so tedious. And once I make a mistake, it's 99% death. Even in Castlevania I thought it was inconvenient trying to use items when fighting bosses, but imagine doing that every time. That's Ninja Gaiden for me. And one other thing about wall jumping is that sometimes, I can't jump out of the wall. I don't know if it's intended or it's some obscure trick that I don't know of, but one thing sure is that it bothers me. And BTW, unlike Ghosts'n Goblins, I never beat this game(well to be exact I didn't TRULY beat Ghosts'n Goblins since I gave up beating the game twice). Maybe I guess you have to use your items properly but I really don't wanna spend too much time on this game.

 Conclusion

 It would have been great if it wasn't so damn hard. I mean sure sometimes a good challenge can be acceptable, but getting knocked back is certainly something that's NOT acceptable. If it wasn't for that I'd say this game could have been a fair challenge as well as a masterpiece. Besides the cutscenes itself were evolutionary. Kind of like Star Fox. But failed on the difficulty setting.

Thanks to your requests, I got some other games to work on! I have some manuscripts ready to be finished right now. And I might as well write one that I want to do later. So next review could be anything for now.
The no.1 Star Fox nerd in Ninsheetmusic

mikey

Beautiful

I understand not checking out number two but I promise this is an instance where the sequels are just as good if not better
unmotivated

Wolf

Quote from: mikey on April 06, 2019, 11:00:20 AMBeautiful

I understand not checking out number two but I promise this is an instance where the sequels are just as good if not better
I didn't really think the first game was bad either. It's just the insane difficulty that I didn't like. And I also heard Ninja Gaiden 2 and 3 are also hard as well so that's the reason I didn't wanna play the rest.
The no.1 Star Fox nerd in Ninsheetmusic

mikey

Wall jumping in 2 is a lot better
Ninja gaiden really makes you feel like ninja gaiden
unmotivated

Wolf

Quote from: mikey on April 06, 2019, 10:27:32 PMWall jumping in 2 is a lot better
Oh. But maybe next time. I'm burned out right now :P
The no.1 Star Fox nerd in Ninsheetmusic

Wolf

Hi guys, I got some fresh games to work on but this week it's my mid term exam so can't work on it for a while. It's been a while since I haven't posted anything(Wolfz Gaim REVEUZ!!! and Wolfz Top 10's) so for those of you who are waiting for my next post, I'm just telling you why I haven't posted anything. And just for a teaser, the next game review will be Simcity. And for Wolfz Top 10's it'll be Top 10 Game Franchises.
The no.1 Star Fox nerd in Ninsheetmusic

Wolf

  Simcity

 Prologue

 As a kid, I used to play with Legos. And one thing I used to do was build a big Lego city. Sure I already said on my Minecraft review that Minecraft has some elements I liked with Legos. But unless you have a million users in your map, there's no city without people living in there. So with that kind of aspect I think Simcity is a fine substitute. Building your own city, watching it grow, this is something I find it appealing. In fact, It was SOOOOOOO appealing I got attached to the game. If you wonder what took me so long to write a review for so damn long, I can say this: That's how much I've been playing it!!! If I compare this to a game it feels like Starcraft, which I believe I did a review of it as well. Building your objects and make an army. But in Simcity, no army.

 Gameplay

 It's a simulator game. A city mayor simulator to be exact. Or come to think of it, it's more like a GOD simulator. Sure it is a mayors job to decide whether you wanna build something here, pave roads, put a FOOTBALL FIELD RIGHT NEXT TO A NUCLEAR PLANT, CONTROL THE FUCKING DISASTERS THAT HAPPEN TO YOUR CITY!!! What kind of mayor does that??? Well anyway, as I already said, you can basically do anything! But there are some rules. First off, you need to use your money wisely. Just like real life, you can do stuff within range of your budget. Build 4 airports at the beginning and you're fucked! Second, the people can be sensitive with literally EVERYTHING! Crime rate, pollution, tax, they just get you on every subject they can find. You need PD(Police Department) to reduce crime. But you also need money and land to build one. But then it increases pollution and reduces your budget. So you need to get money by raising taxes. But then they complain that the tax rate is too high. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! If you have a shitty mayor, do me a favor and understand him. If you played this game without cheating, you know the kind of stress a mayor gets. And there are tips and guides for this game. So reading those would be fine. But my advice is "play it by yourself and learn by trial and error". Often accidents happen to your city(or town or capital depending on how big your city is). Sure you can make your own accidents purposely (if you happened to be a sadistic psychopath)but these happen regardless of your own will. So taking care of this is necessary. And every once in a while you can build special things like a casino, amusement park, PD headquarters, windmills, and so on.

 Money cheat

 But there is one way you can have fun with this game for REAL! The money code. With this cheat, you can get 999999$. Wait till it's December, when the tax screen appears, you hold L and leave. Go back to the tax screen, put everything up to 100%, leave the tax screen, let go of L and Tada! By the way, you need to have exactly 0$ to do this. Now have fun! I guess the concept of this cheat is that you found fossil fuel. So you became a Saudi Arabian prince or something. Now with all this money, you can put the tax rate to 0%, build as many things as you please. I just build anything I want and then fill the rest with parks. And if I wanna build something else, just build it and cover the space with parks again. But still it's best you build your city in the most efficient way as possible because you'll eventually run out of space.

 Conclusion

 Honestly, like most simulator games, it has mixed opinions. At least for me, I enjoy this kind of stuff. So I'd recommend it to anyone who likes to run their own city. You might even play it for months if you get attached to it. If you're not the kind of person who enjoys running a city or a company or whatever, you might find this game pretty boring. But still one of the best games on the SNES.

 Next review will be Cho'Gath eats the World. Don't know what the hell it is? Check it out on the internet.
The no.1 Star Fox nerd in Ninsheetmusic

Wolf

 Cho'Gath eats the World

 Prologue

 Farm, Kill, Fight(with your teammates), Flam, Lose, Report! What game is it? It's Riot Games's League of Legends. And yes I already did a review of it. Today League of Legends is on its 9th season, with a lot of updates and changes and events over the years. But back in 2013 They did something special: they made a mini game called "Cho'Gath eats the World". A 2D flash game style with just one simple task: DESTROY EVERYTHING ON SIGHT!!! It was an April Fools event(they do this every year) and faded away pretty quick, but for a guy who likes classic retro games this was a memorable event they ever did.

 Design

 Like I already said, it's a retro game style. 16 Bit graphics/sound if I'm correct. So it gives nostalgia to people who grew up with Super Mario World or Sonic 2. But what they didn't know was that most people who played League of Legends were teens and this was back in 2013. These teens grew up with fucking Gamecube(like me). So nobody really cared and it faded away. But I sure enjoyed the graphical designs and music.

 Gameplay

 It's an arcade style. Destroy every building and advance to the next level. The story is that Cho'Gath, a monster who eats everything is requested to eat everyone in every city around the world by Gentlemen Cho'Gath. And when he finishes, he'll give him a present. You start with USA and go all the way to Australia. And when you do manage to beat the game, He'll give you a mini Earth... which Gentlemen Cho'Gath eats right away. So you're going around knocking down buildings and eating civilians for health. Occasionally other League of Legends characters will show up and you can devour them for a permanent health increase. The down side is that you're such a huge target, and soilders, Garens, and even Teemos will shoot you, throw grenades, and do all kinds of damage that you won't be able to dodge. So you gotta break and eat continually to keep yourself alive. For a character that's virtually impossible to stop, I think that's a fair disadvantage. Also, you can unlock another mini game called "Astro Teemo" but that's a whole other story. And other than knocking down buildings, Battlecast Prime Cho'Gath will appear in Japan(obviously a reference to Godzilla and Mecha Godzilla) and Zac, a slime monster will appear in Australia. A pretty short game, but at least I enjoyed it. And those of you who play League of Legends and like retro games then this is something you'd wanna try. It has some kick ass music too and that alone is worth listening. Well you all might be wondering why I reviewed a short flash game that nobody cares. I just wanted to share something I played back in 2013. And something that was so nostalgic that even to this day I still play it for fun.

Next review will be Super Mario Maker 2! Oh yes, I bought it! And Buster Bros after.
The no.1 Star Fox nerd in Ninsheetmusic