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Author Topic: [SNES] Super Mario RPG - "Mallow Discovers He Is Not a Tadpole" (Replacement) by mariolegofan  (Read 5405 times)

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Submission Information:

Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario RPG
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Mallow Discovers He Is Not a Tadpole
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: mariolegofan


Replacement Information:

Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

[attachment deleted by admin]
« Last Edit: February 04, 2015, 10:16:10 PM by mariolegofan »
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Sebastian

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Sebastian

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Anyone?
Where have the Updaters been?
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Xaoz

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I really like that song and your arrangement sounds fine to me.

Just two three four little things:
1) Why do you not start with an upbeat?
2) How is that last measure supposed to be played? I think you should indicate, that the b in the bass should be played with the right hand. Atleast that is how I would do it... Maybe the way you put it is perfectly fine and it is just confusing for me as a beginner...
3) Why not put some expression text?
4) Now that I listened a bit closer... I think all the half-note-intervals in the left hand should be rolled and also the first interval in measure 4. The one in 12 does not sound rolled, though.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2015, 01:10:58 AM by Xaoz »
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I give the Bespin seal of approval to Xaoz's critique (^o^)=b

Sebastian

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1) Why do you not start with an upbeat?
I use a certain playback piano I like and I'm not sure how to put an upbeat.

2) How is that last measure supposed to be played? I think you should indicate, that the b in the bass should be played with the right hand. Atleast that is how I would do it... Maybe the way you put it is perfectly fine and it is just confusing for me as a beginner...
Since the bass is rolled the left hand can get it. Otherwise I'd put it in the right hand.

3) Why not put some expression text?
Since they aren't required and it's extra work, I dont put them :P

4) Now that I listened a bit closer... I think all the half-note-intervals in the left hand should be rolled and also the first interval in measure 4. The one in 12 does not sound rolled, though.
I thought this at first but I dont they are rolled. Besides, I only indicate them if they're quite obvious.

Thanks for the feedback anyway!
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Xaoz

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My thoughts

I just put an upbeat there for you, if you want, you can change back the rest :p I also changed some slurs that looked awkward and added expression-text that seems fitting on first thought... But maybe there is something more fitting... I just have to go to bed, so I have no time to really think about it, now :/

Extra work is not a bad thing :) Extra work is what makes music awesome. The more details you put into a piece, the more information and feelings it contains.

I guess the left hand can do the rolling in the last measure. I just could not do it, without making it sound hasty.

Maybe my rolling is kinda overkill, but in the YT-Version you provided it is definitely rolled.

Oh and good job! Love that piece! Will print your final version!
« Last Edit: February 04, 2015, 01:43:07 AM by Xaoz »
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I give the Bespin seal of approval to Xaoz's critique (^o^)=b

Maelstrom

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Since they aren't required and it's extra work, I don't put them :P
Do it. It makes it look much more professional, which is what we are going for here.

Sebastian

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Do it. It makes it look much more professional, which is what we are going for here.
ok.....
My thoughts

I just put an upbeat there for you, if you want, you can change back the rest :p I also changed some slurs that looked awkward and added expression-text that seems fitting on first thought... But maybe there is something more fitting... I just have to go to bed, so I have no time to really think about it, now :/

Extra work is not a bad thing :) Extra work is what makes music awesome. The more details you put into a piece, the more information and feelings it contains.

I guess the left hand can do the rolling in the last measure. I just could not do it, without making it sound hasty.

Maybe my rolling is kinda overkill, but in the YT-Version you provided it is definitely rolled.

Oh and good job! Love that piece! Will print your final version!
Thanks....I guess.
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Bespinben

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I give the Bespin seal of approval to Xaoz's critique (^o^)=b

There's a much more pressing matter than all the above, however -- key signature and accidentals. This piece is in Ab minor, not Eb minor. The tonic chord is very clear just from measure 1. It also borrows a lot from the harmonic minor scale, meaning all the those A double flats should be spelled as G naturals. For your personal growth, I'd recommend listening to a few Chopin nocturnes, as they have a very similar flavor to the mood of this piece.

(Another alternative would be to write this in G# minor - if you've studied the circle of fifths you can see that Ab minor is enharmonically equivalent to G# minor, and so therefore you'd have 2 less accidentals in your key signature. Unless you have a really good reason for writing in 7 flats [like a temporary transposition from Ab major to Ab minor], I would pick G# minor with its 5 sharps every time. Remember that if you write in G# minor, you'd have to spell the raised 7th of the G# harmonic minor scale as F double sharps).
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Someone beat Bespinben to making PMD music?! GASP!

MLF for Chatroom Mod next Tuesday

mikey

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(^o^)=b

Is this now an official thing
because like
(^o^)=b espinben
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Luke 1:3

"It seemed good to me also, having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first, to write unto thee..."

Sebastian

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I give the Bespin seal of approval to Xaoz's critique (^o^)=b

There's a much more pressing matter than all the above, however -- key signature and accidentals. This piece is in Ab minor, not Eb minor. The tonic chord is very clear just from measure 1. It also borrows a lot from the harmonic minor scale, meaning all the those A double flats should be spelled as G naturals. For your personal growth, I'd recommend listening to a few Chopin nocturnes, as they have a very similar flavor to the mood of this piece.

(Another alternative would be to write this in G# minor - if you've studied the circle of fifths you can see that Ab minor is enharmonically equivalent to G# minor, and so therefore you'd have 2 less accidentals in your key signature. Unless you have a really good reason for writing in 7 flats [like a temporary transposition from Ab major to Ab minor], I would pick G# minor with its 5 sharps every time. Remember that if you write in G# minor, you'd have to spell the raised 7th of the G# harmonic minor scale as F double sharps).
Ok! I'll have this fixed tomorrow!
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Sebastian

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Double post.....
Is there anything else in this one other than the key sig?
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Sebastian

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Fixed everything!
Accepted? :)
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Xaoz

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I give the Bespin seal of approval to Xaoz's critique (^o^)=b

Sebastian

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Whoops.....what'd I miss??
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