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The Adventures of Sir Lance-a-little (Don't post)

Started by EFitTrainr, November 23, 2015, 10:40:20 AM

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EFitTrainr

Sir Lance-a-little

     Quite some time ago (About 1000 years, but not quite) in England, there lived a man named Archibald Lance-a-little. He lived in a little thatched roof cottage, and had a little farm. He was not content with this life, and longed to be a knight, slay dragons, rescue damsels in distress, and have a LOT of fun! However, as he was a serf in feudal England, there really wasn't a chance of this happening. Probably.

     Also a long time ago (The same amount of time as previously) and also in England, there was a King named Richard the 2.5th. He wasn't very nice, and he had long black hair which was said to be so greasy that it could fill a lantern for a fortnight. Both of these traits came together to give him the name "King Dick the Slick."
   
     King Dick the Slick had a daughter named Susan. Unfortunately for her, King Dick never let her leave the castle after she broke up with a suitor, and threatened to burn down the three nearest villages. This did not sit well with Susan, who desperately wanted to enact her revenge on her ex. Eventually, Susan convinced a servant boy (Who was also named Susan - his parents weren't the brightest people, poor kid) to procure a messenger pigeon to send for help.

    Several moons later, 5 people who claimed to be knights arrived at the castle of King Dick, and so our story begins.
I like food.

EFitTrainr

Chapter 1: Morning Person

    King Dick loved to sleep. He often said he couldn't manage without it, which was true, but not for the reasons he thought. It was a well-known law in his kingdom that waking the King up was punishable by death, with no exceptions. So of course, it's a shame that Servant Bob was new here, and was tasked by his fellow servants to wake up the King due to an emergency.

    "Your Highness! Your Highness!" Bob burst into the King's room, with a state of mind that could be described as nothing but panic. "There are 5 people here to see your daughter! Claiming she's given them a quest, or something!"
     
     "This is an outrage!" Bellowed the King.
   
     "Quite right, Your Highness! I suggest a quick and efficient execution."

     "That's what happens in situations like this, yes..." replied the King, stroking his long, greasy beard.

     "Ooh, I'm very excited. I've never been a part of something like this before."

     "You're an odd fellow."

***Several Hours Later***

     "Now that Bob has left this world, and gone to the next where I expect they shall call him Angel Bob, I am going back to bed," the King announced groggily.

     "But Your Highness, what about these people?"

     "Who are they..?"

     "They claim to be here to see your daughter!"

     "This is an outrage!"
I like food.