the Little Ozzie chronicles

Started by Gooch, July 06, 2008, 10:37:29 PM

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Gooch

Beef, chicken, pork, beans, salad, crem brulei. All can be made sophisticated and eaten just alike, but here's the kicker, im a 450-pound man, a culinary expert and also have an interestin little friend named Odd. Oddie is one of my best friends, although he is quite strange, much like his name. But, then again, being 450 pounds isn't exactly normal either.
I live in a mid-sized town of Pico Mundo and am one of the most extravagent and wealthy members of this community. I currently am living in a house that i purchased and remodeled. It was once upon a time a steakhouse. I live alone except for my adorable feline Terrible Chester. Oh, i also have a huge plastic cow in my front lawn that i love above all else, almost a final testimony to the steakhouse that i currently reside in.
I am not only a culinary expert, but a literary mathematician of sorts. I know every line from any play, such as Julias Ceasar, just to name one. I am also a published and highly enjoyed author of any assortment of detective novels, in which I have two Series running currently, one of which involves an extremely large detective who has a vulumptuous wife whom adores him dearly. But that is truly enough about me, and not nearly enough about my new story which I am narrating to you at this very moment, and, in all essence, you are apart of my story. It is neither exciting, nor dull. No, my story is Odd. If you've failed to notice, that also happens to be my friends name. Now, you may be wondering why someone would have the nickname Odd. Well, there isn't one because that isn't a nickname, it is his real name, Odd Thomas. This striking young chap has quite the story behind him which i believe he is narrating himself thanks to myself. You see, i had to pressure him into writing because he has talent that goes to waste and that talent is called linguistics and his lack of novel-writing is killing his imagination. So, i have made him write down his story and have decided to do my own; telling the same story from different perspectives, viewpoints, and timeframes.
So, if we are to truly understand my story, you must understand Oddie. You see, my dear Odd Thomas wears only White Ts and jeans, in fact he bought a sweater vest, and took it back the next day because he couldn't handle the change. Aside from that, he is also the best pancake maker anywhere and the best frycook in the same place. He cooks at the Pico Mundo Grille, but is currently looking into a career at Tire World, "Because there is nothing like driving away on fresh rubber" he always says. So, a fairly normal guy, but here he gains his namesake. He sees dead people and has a strange ability deemed Psychic Magnetism by Oddie's sweetheart Bronwen "Stormy" Llelwyn. She prefers Stormy. The full name she deemed it was Pyschic Magnetism Syndrom or PMS for short. So, venture into our Odd world in my next volume of my newest series, the Little Ozzie chronicles. I believe that my name is no greater title, harumph!