A dating profile for Squidward Tentpoles. DANGIT-SPONGEBOB
Is your Not being Spongebob or Patrick Subtle enough for my amazing Nose?
A wise wizard once said, 'Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic.' With that in mind...
To only the best women out there,
I'm an Artistic kinda man, who likes nothing more than Bubble Blowing SPONGEBOB GET-OFF MY DATING PROFILE I-mean........Painting with the right woman, and socialising with my good mate, Myself, who admires my Obligatorily better than my-ANNOYING NEIGHBORS I mean...-musically inclined qualities.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my Lonely personality, closly followed by my smashing Nose. I can be a jerk when I don't know people well - with body parts like my Nose and How I'm not like my-ANNOYING NEIGHBORS I mean...-musically inclined, I can afford to be.
I work as a struggling-artist/musician/actor/poet/cas-hier/that last one isn't-important/overlook that, helping No one with a sense of dignity. This allows me to exercise my skills, which, if you must know,I'm a widely renowned-clarinet virtuoso, state-recognized interior design-consultant, licensed and board-certified antique macrame-conosuor, born and raised-collector and sculptor of-driftwood, and able to-recognize over 13 hundred brand names of single personed pedal operated vehicles and I make a killer Soufle. One day, I was just about to stop work when Myself appeared from nowhere and congratulated me on a job well done. "Squidward Tortalleinies, that was a job well done." That's the kind of thing people say to me on a daily basis. Of course, now, Myself and me are best friends, and the praise runs like water. A lesser man would get a big head.
My life goals include:
Shoot a follow-up to the Clarinet advert I star in
Become the best struggling-artist/musician/actor/poet/cas-hier/that last one isn't-important/overlook that I can be
If you're the right woman for me, you'll be Not spongebob and Not Patrick. You won't be afraid to Play cello alongside my-masterfulness and will have a healthy respect for Me.
My ideal date would involve Clarinetting in Anywhere where Spongebob-Isn't with a Not Patrick woman by my side. While we're there, I evaluate your Subtle Not being Spongebob or Patrick, checking that you're up to my understandably high standards.
Women only get one chance with me. For every woman who displeases me, there are another 111 waiting in the wings to replace you.
If you're worthy, get in touch!
Squidward Tentacles