Brainy and E. Gadd's AP Biology Stories

[E. Gadd Industries]

Nothing can withstand the power of Emus, not even Flex Tape!

[BrainyLucario]

A dating profile for Waluigi
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thy pecs art more firm than the darling buds of May
I'd rather be in love than right any day.

Good dawning to thee, friend,

I'm a Taco enthusiast wah gentleman, who likes nothing more than Tennis with the right person.

None of my current partners understand me. I need to meet somebody special - somebody I really connect with.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my Numbah 1! wah personality, closly followed by my smashing legs wah. I hope you will find my legs wah to be as special as new born kittens, and my tennis elbow wah as awesome as the first moon landing

I work as a Taco Salesman, helping the hungry taco-deprived masses. This allows me to exercise my skills: I have a mean serve in tennis and am an expert in mustache grooming. My idol is Billy Mays. When I'm struggling with my job, I think of Billy Mays and feel inspired to continue. I once saw Billy Mays at a petrol station, so I feel we have a deep connection - almost spiritual, like the mist on an autumn day, or similar.

My life goals include:

Meet Douglas Adams' ghost

Write a sonnet that captures your beauty

Become the best Taco Salesman I can be

Help all the the hungry taco-deprived masses in the world

If you're the right person for me, you'll like pinball and appreciate my mustache and looove to eat tacos. You won't be afraid to jump off a building and will have a healthy respect for Me.

My ideal date would involve Making Tacos ( My true passion) in my very own stadium with an Italian person by my side. While we're there, I write poetry about your firm pecs under the light of the moon.

The right man's smile will light up my day like somebody igniting a sparkler on a particularly stormy November 5th. Your firm pecs will make me tremble like sitting on a park bench when a double decker bus rattles by.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Until younder,

TheWahnandOnly

[BrainyLucario]

No reading tonight! :p

[BrainyLucario]

Reading will be at 4:10 today. On discord. Be there or be hexagon. wait...I did that wrong

[BrainyLucario]

Enough With Your Stup He Midna-ess Plz Jeef Jeef Jeef Jeeef Jeef Jeef Jeef Jeef Jeeeeeeeeef and Jeff What The Heck Am I Doing With My Life?

Dear Jeef,

I have always felt very......Jeef living near to you. You are the most nam r Jeef neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your she Jeef two mooch.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your jeef jeef jeef jeef jeeeeeeeeef is too Stup he midna-ess plz jeef jeef jeef jeeef and your what the heck am i doing with my life? way too jeef. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a pancook

I have to insist that you take action to stop your she Jeef two mooch from upsetting me. I demand that you Qool me jeef then bee muh jeef.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your jeefing to lattle increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a jeefspenseeve neighbourhood like Tom Jones.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call Ghostjeefers and post photos of your colooction of jeefy jeefs on FindmyJeef.

Furthermore, I have close ties with My pet cult named steve and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few jeefs if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
Mr. Blue Sky (ft. a cloud and Starlord)

[braix]

Thanks

This is probably the only part of all of this that made any sense

[BrainyLucario]

We had a bit of a descent into madness there for a second.

[E. Gadd Industries]

Or two.

[BrainyLucario]

WHY DOES THAT PROFILE PICTURE MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

[E. Gadd Industries]

WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT AND WHY DO I KEEP GETTING EMAILS AND WHY AM I MENTIONING THAT HERE OF ALL PLACES???

EDIT: Oh hey, cool, 3000 posts!

[E. Gadd Industries]

The Frumpty Parental Overprotectivity

A Mystery
by E.Gadd, One Who is Lost to Time (and Brainy[not really])

The isolated, Geometric town of Jamaha's Bay holds a secret.

E. Gadd has the perfect life working as a Taco-Making in the city and Music Theory Lessons with his Reverent girlfriend, NinSheetMusic Firums.

However, when he finds a Frumpty Parental overprotectivity in his cellar, he begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Gadd family.

A Christmas Comeback Crisis leaves E. Gadd with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to forbidden Jamaha's Bay to find some answers.

At first the people of Jamaha's Bay are Dedicated and Kewl. He is intrigued by the curiously Nostalgic 360 No-Scope Triple Backflip Wombo Combo Fire Pledge Hidden Move, Arranging sheets. However, after she introduces him to hard video games, E. slowly finds himself drawn into a web of puns, Lo-quality-rips and perhaps, even man slaughter.

Can E. resist the charms of Arranging sheeets and uncover the secret of the Frumpty Parental overprotectivity before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another Jamaha's Bay legend?

[BrainyLucario]

Dramatic readings will not be resuming. Since E. Gadd is the one who does them

[BrainyLucario]

A dating profile for Squidward Tentpoles. DANGIT-SPONGEBOB
Is your Not being Spongebob or Patrick Subtle enough for my amazing Nose?
A wise wizard once said, 'Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic.' With that in mind...

To only the best women out there,

I'm an Artistic kinda man, who likes nothing more than Bubble Blowing SPONGEBOB GET-OFF MY DATING PROFILE I-mean........Painting with the right woman, and socialising with my good mate, Myself, who admires my Obligatorily better than my-ANNOYING NEIGHBORS I mean...-musically inclined qualities.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my Lonely personality, closly followed by my smashing Nose. I can be a jerk when I don't know people well - with body parts like my Nose and How I'm not like my-ANNOYING NEIGHBORS I mean...-musically inclined, I can afford to be.

I work as a struggling-artist/musician/actor/poet/cas-hier/that last one isn't-important/overlook that, helping No one with a sense of dignity. This allows me to exercise my skills, which, if you must know,I'm a widely renowned-clarinet virtuoso, state-recognized interior design-consultant, licensed and board-certified antique macrame-conosuor, born and raised-collector and sculptor of-driftwood, and able to-recognize over 13 hundred brand names of single personed pedal operated vehicles and I make a killer Soufle. One day, I was just about to stop work when Myself appeared from nowhere and congratulated me on a job well done. "Squidward Tortalleinies, that was a job well done." That's the kind of thing people say to me on a daily basis. Of course, now, Myself and me are best friends, and the praise runs like water. A lesser man would get a big head.

My life goals include:
Shoot a follow-up to the Clarinet advert I star in
Become the best struggling-artist/musician/actor/poet/cas-hier/that last one isn't-important/overlook that I can be

If you're the right woman for me, you'll be Not spongebob and Not Patrick. You won't be afraid to Play cello alongside my-masterfulness and will have a healthy respect for Me.

My ideal date would involve Clarinetting in Anywhere where Spongebob-Isn't with a Not Patrick woman by my side. While we're there, I evaluate your Subtle Not being Spongebob or Patrick, checking that you're up to my understandably high standards.

Women only get one chance with me. For every woman who displeases me, there are another 111 waiting in the wings to replace you.

If you're worthy, get in touch!

Squidward Tentacles