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[DELETED] [SWITCH] Super Mario Odyssey - "Honeylune Ridge" by FEZ PEZ

Started by Zeta, November 12, 2017, 12:12:19 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Odyssey
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Honeylune Ridge
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: FEZ PEZ

FEZ PEZ

I don't care if it's impossible, I'm doing it anyways.

PlayfulPiano

I would suggest having an 8va Treble Clef (treble with an 8 above it) instead of specifying that the right hand is up an octave.
m1 I don't really hear the f-e-g chain to the higher c in the video. Sounds to me like it's just a whole note throughout.
m2 I think is just g, not c&g
m8 should have a g in the left hand
m21 that g in the right hand should be an octave higher
There should be another measure after m41, I'm pretty sure.

FEZ PEZ

Quote from: PlayfulPiano on November 15, 2017, 04:49:10 AMI would suggest having an 8va Treble Clef (treble with an 8 above it) instead of specifying that the right hand is up an octave.
m1 I don't really hear the f-e-g chain to the higher c in the video. Sounds to me like it's just a whole note throughout.
m2 I think is just g, not c&g
m8 should have a g in the left hand
m21 that g in the right hand should be an octave higher
Updated

Quote from: PlayfulPiano on November 15, 2017, 04:49:10 AMThere should be another measure after m41, I'm pretty sure.
I don't hear that
I don't care if it's impossible, I'm doing it anyways.

PlayfulPiano

Listening with the .mid file in sync with the actual ost video, it seems your tempo is slightly too fast. Also, the notation for m3 and so forth is definitely not correct, as based on the .mid it's making a chord at rapid succession instead of what's played in the video.

Latios212

just popping in real quick - don't use octave clefs for piano sheets.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
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turtle

PlayfulPiano

Quote from: Latios212 on January 03, 2018, 06:16:43 PMjust popping in real quick - don't use octave clefs for piano sheets.

Whoops sorry then, my bad.

FEZ PEZ

Quote from: PlayfulPiano on January 03, 2018, 06:15:27 PMListening with the .mid file in sync with the actual ost video, it seems your tempo is slightly too fast. Also, the notation for m3 and so forth is definitely not correct, as based on the .mid it's making a chord at rapid succession instead of what's played in the video.
I'm positive my tempo is correct. I also listened to it with the actual song and, on average, it didn't stray a bit.
Turns out I was using the wrong tremolo, so I fixed that.
Quote from: Latios212 on January 03, 2018, 06:16:43 PMjust popping in real quick - don't use octave clefs for piano sheets.
Gotcha.
I don't care if it's impossible, I'm doing it anyways.

Khunjund

Since the left hand seems to feature many second inversion chord structures, I would probably keep them looking similar visually, which would mean changing all the F#'s to Gb's and the B-E-Ab chord in measures 10 and 20 to an Fb major chord.

The way you write the tremolos makes the rhythm a bit unclear. My instinct would have been to write the eighth (seems to me like it's a sixteenth in reality) as a grace note (without a stroke through the stem) and have the tremolo be a dotted half note with a tie going into a quarter rest, which means to let ring within the pedal. That's just a suggestion, however.

Also, I hear an Ab-Eb fifth on the third beat of measure 14.
Please stop making lists using hyphens.

Static

All right, I did a full check of this one, and here's what I found:

m1 beat 1: Add a G right above the F in the LH.
m1 beat 3: Add a C and F right below the G in the LH.
m2 LH: Change spelling to Db-Gb-Bb and also add a C below the Db.
m3 & similar places: I would keep the 8th notes instead of changing them to grace notes like D3ath suggested (because they're held for a little while), but also make the tremolo a trill, which makes more sense in this context because both notes for every tremolo are only one step apart. However, each of these trills starts on the higher note, which means you should add a grace note leading in to the lower note. If you're unsure what I mean by this, here's an example I made for m3:
Example
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m4: Should be the same as m1.
m5 LH: Should be the same as m2 LH.
m7: The voicing should be as close as it can be to m1 but with the high G. I would make the LH C-F-G-C, and make the RH G-C-E-G.
m8 RH: Add a D underneath the F.
m9 LH: Add a C below the Db and an Ab above the F.
m10 LH: Change this voicing to Cb-Fb-Ab (an Fb major chord like D3ath pointed out).
m11 LH: Add an Ab below the Bb
m11 RH: The G should be one octave lower.
m12 LH: There should be a Db and Ab below the Eb.
m14 LH: Get rid of the top Eb and Ab and add a low Ab and Bb below the lower Eb. Also add another half note of this same chord on beat 3.
m14 RH beat 1: Add an Ab below the C.
m15 LH: Add an Eb and Bb above the Db.
m17 LH: Change the F# to a Gb, add a Db below the Eb, and remove the top Ab.
m18 LH: Change the two F#s to a Cb and Gb (Cb4-Gb4).
m19 RH: Change the Bb to a D.
m19 LH beat 1: Add an Eb and Bb below the F.
m19 LH beat 3: Right chord, wrong inversion; the Db and F should be an octave lower.
m20 LH: Remove the top Ab, change the E to an Fb and move it down an octave, and change the B to a Cb.
m21 beat 3 LH: Add an F below the G.
m22 beat 3 LH: Change the F# to a Gb.

Something else to think about:
The entire arrangement right now is voiced incredibly high; if you want it to have the same feel as the original track, you might want to play around with the chord voicings (for example, the Ab and Bb in m11 are actually one octave lower in the original). This also applies to the entire RH; it's actually not an octave higher than written. With all this said, the high register has its merits, especially for this piece, so if that's how you want it to sound, that's completely fine also.



I know this sounds like a lot, but these are all small changes - you really did a great job capturing the feel of this piece while still keeping it simple and easy to just pick up and play.


Sebastian

Archived for inactivity

Ugh. This one was so close! Please resubmit once you have gotten those things fixed that Static recommended. I hope to see this one on the site soon.