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NinSheetMusic => Submission Center => Project Archive => Topic started by: Code_Name_Geek on June 01, 2020, 02:19:53 AM

Title: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on June 01, 2020, 02:19:53 AM
Here are my submissions for this project. I included the changes I made from the original arrangements if anyone's curious - let me know if they aren't significant enough to warrant an "edited by" tag.


Harvest Moon 64
Bar Theme (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X3TdUgB6r4) | Edit - original arranger: WiiMan96
Mountain Theme Moon Mountain (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6R9wD6bUwA)* | Replacement
Summer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPe1vS2R2jc) | Edit - original arranger: Nintendude73

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life
Breeze (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS4tUhmWWRc) | Edit - original arranger: WiiMan96
Gustafa's Tent Gustafa's Yurt (Jovial Gustafa) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LALNpSXjiU)** | Replacement


*"Moon Mountain" (https://ranchstory.miraheze.org/wiki/Moon_Mountain_(Harvest_Moon:_64)) is the official name for the in-game location where this track plays, so I think it's a more appropriate title.

**"Gustafa's Yurt" is the common English title for this one, but according to the official OST (https://vgmdb.net/album/2762) the Japanese title translates as "Jovial Gustafa" (though I've also seen "Silly Gustafa").

Edits
Bar Theme:
-fixed formatting
-added slurs to the grace notes
-added 2nd layer and dynamics to distinguish 1st and 2nd statements of melody

Summer:
-fixed formatting
-added to melody at m. 3 to better represent original
-fixed some notes and rhythms in the melody
-added some articulations and fixed some beaming issues
-fixed bassline in 2nd half

Breeze:
-fixed formatting and some notation issues
-added slurs to grace notes
-re-arranged left hand in second half to incorporate bassline more
[close]
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on June 03, 2020, 07:08:30 PM
And that's all the arrangements I've got for this project.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Zeila on June 15, 2020, 04:23:37 AM
I have some feedback, but overall nice work!

Bar Theme


Moon Mountain


Breeze


Gustafa's Yurt

Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on June 16, 2020, 07:47:07 PM
Bar Theme

  • bass line sounds more separated so I think the two quarter notes should be eighth notes followed by eighth rests
  • every eighth note on beat 1 of even measures sounds staccato'd to me
  • I don't hear the sixteenth notes on beat 3 of m10 and 14, and hear something like this instead (incorporating two different voices into layer 2):
    Spoiler
    (https://i.imgur.com/QFkYirb.png)
    [close]
- You're totally right about the bassline being more separated - I did that with staccatos instead of eighth notes because I thought it looked a little cleaner, hope that's alright!
- Those measures were really hard to hear, thanks for clarifying. Fixed as well.

Moon Mountain

  • I think it's worth adding the 5th's on top of the LH for the first 4 measures at least, but if you think it wouldn't fit with the rest of the arrangement then that's fine
  • if you're going to hide the rests on m5 and alike, then you could flip the staccato so that it rests on top of the note instead of below (just as easy as pressing 'f' while it's selected)
  • this is nitpicky but you could move the hook of the 8va closer to the whole note instead of ending it at the end of the measure
  • I think it's better to include the note on beat 4.5 of measure 6 for the melody
- Fixed all of the above.
- I actually didn't hear those 5ths until you pointed them out, but since the rest of the arrangement is busier having them for the intro only seems like a good idea.

Breeze

  • I'd personally halve the note values and tempo marking in this one
  • m1 LH should be an octave lower
- I had erred on the side of changing as little of the original arrangement as possible, however the time signature had been bothering me as well. I'd toyed around with changing it to cut time too, but I think your suggestion is better. That said, the change left me with a lot of redundant ties; I tried to fix them all, but if anyone spots any that I missed let me know!
- Not a response so much as a question - it sounds to me like the playback is slowing down slightly in the second last bar before the repeat, but I don't see a rit. anywhere (and it doesn't exist in the original song either). Anyone know why that might be happening?

Gustafa's Yurt

  • m24 LH could be staccato'd to reflect the pizzicato of the strings and to contrast with the measure before it
  • you should put more space between the arpeggio marking and the notes/staff by right clicking the measure and editing measure attributes
- Good suggestions, all fixed.

Thanks for all the feedback!!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Zeila on June 17, 2020, 07:07:04 AM
- I had erred on the side of changing as little of the original arrangement as possible, however the time signature had been bothering me as well. I'd toyed around with changing it to cut time too, but I think your suggestion is better. That said, the change left me with a lot of redundant ties; I tried to fix them all, but if anyone spots any that I missed let me know!
You missed one in measure 6. In the future you could try experimenting with the Quantization Settings and Retranscribe tool under MIDI/Audio in order to combine a bunch of ties into dotted notes or to create dotted rests simultaneously, although it may mess up other parts of the score too

- Not a response so much as a question - it sounds to me like the playback is slowing down slightly in the second last bar before the repeat, but I don't see a rit. anywhere (and it doesn't exist in the original song either). Anyone know why that might be happening?
I think it may be because your human playback preferences has the option "ritardando before fermatas" checked. I didn't encounter any slowdowns until I purposefully checked it

Breeze

  • m1 LH should be an octave lower
You missed this unless you just don't agree. And now that the measures are different, I only meant the very first note (C)

Since I took another look, I found more stuff you should update:

Thanks for all the feedback!!
You're welcome! :3
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on June 19, 2020, 01:52:42 AM
I think it may be because your human playback preferences has the option "ritardando before fermatas" checked. I didn't encounter any slowdowns until I purposefully checked it
You were exactly right about that option being checked, thanks!

You missed this unless you just don't agree. And now that the measures are different, I only meant the very first note (C)
Oops that was a mistake, I thought I had changed it but I think I did in the other file with the old time signature instead. Fixed now!

Everything else should be fixed as well, thanks again!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Static on June 23, 2020, 10:03:17 PM
Bar Theme
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on June 26, 2020, 04:28:26 AM
  • Maybe it's just me, but all those quarter notes in the melody (m1, 3, etc.) sound like 8th notes + 2 16th notes.
Honestly, I was hearing this too. My assumption is that the original arranger left out the 16th notes for ease of playing, however I would not be opposed to adding them back in if no one objects to it.

  • In places like m5, it sounds like the grace notes play at the same time. I'd just stack the grace notes instead of having them one after another.
  • m16: The quarter note rest should be in the staff like in m12.
Done.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Static on June 27, 2020, 03:03:10 AM
You can leave them as quarter notes if you want, or make them just 8th notes, up to you. The other changes look great, so I'll be approving this one now.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on June 30, 2020, 09:43:55 PM
Moon Mountain
- In m1, RH beat 1.75 (the last sixteenth note) should be an A instead of a G.
- The 8va in m2-4 is too high and can be moved down.
- In m4, LH beat 3.5 (the last dyad) sounds it like should have a Bb on top instead of a C.
- In m6 and m10, I would add a staccato on beat 3.5 (the C).
- Why not tie the whole note G in m7 over to m8 as well?
- You cut off the RH Layer 2 part at the end of m10, but you can keep it going by including it in the LH like so:
(https://i.imgur.com/tQWrkUw.png)

- On beat 2.5 of m16 RH (the last note of the measure), there's also a D (flute part) above the B. (You could also put a courtesy natural on this D.)
- On beat 4.5 of m19 RH, there's another F an octave below the one you have.

Here's what I would recommend doing for m21-28:
(https://i.imgur.com/7hs2YMu.png)

Changes include:
- I simplified the rhythm to capture the main melody of the original track better. To be honest, I'm not really sure where you were getting the extra 16th notes from.
- I felt there were an excessive amount of staccatos and removed a lot of them because most of these notes are held, except for the ones I left staccatos on.
- I added a low A in the RH on beat 1.5 of m22/24/26. To accommodate this within one layer, I also cut the E on beat 1 from a quarter note to an eighth note. (It's possible to keep the E as a quarter note by splitting it into two layers, but since the layers cross over each other in m22/26, I thought that would be overly messy.)
- I fixed the notes/rhythm at the end of m27 RH, and added octaves to the RH in m24 and m27-28 (as well as a G to the final chord).
- In m26, the C in the LH is a dotted quarter, with no eighth note on beat 4.5.

^^ These are all changes I would recommend you implement yourself.



Breeze
- Missing grace notes in the RH on: m4 beat 4, m8 beat 4, m11 beat 2.25, m11 beat 4.25, m13 beat 2.25, m15 beat 4.25, m18 beat 2.5.
- For beats 3-4 of m1, there are two different rhythms playing the low E-F-G line with different rhythms, which you've combined into the LH. The double 16th notes on the E sound awkward, though, so I would recommend choosing one of the following two alternatives:
(https://i.imgur.com/q5e6FlX.png)(https://i.imgur.com/fo5BZFs.png)

- This should be LH beat 1 for m3, m4, and m6 (only m5 has the extra harmonies you have):
(https://i.imgur.com/qh2vJhq.png)

- m4 LH beat 4, rhythm should be sixteenth - dotted eighth like the other measures.
- m5 LH beat 4 should be C (instead of B) like the other measures.
- There's an extra 16th note in the LH at the end of m6:
(https://i.imgur.com/ZNWVvjF.png)

- On beat 1.75 of m7/8/9/10 LH, the A at the bottom should be the top note (the A should be transposed an octave up).
- Beat 1.75 of m8/9/10 LH should not have a C (the C is only there in m7).
- Beat 2 of m7/9 RH would be better as dotted half notes.
- The second-to-last eighth note in m8 LH could use a staccato.
- All four eighth notes should be beamed together in m10 RH.
- Here's what m10 LH should look like (besides what I mentioned above, beats 3-4 are also off):
(https://i.imgur.com/qN7amkG.png)

- The notes seem good on the second page of the sheet a glance, but I would recommend transposing the entire LH up an octave from m11 until the end because a lot of the harmonies and dyads/triads sound really muddy down that low. (You could keep the very first dyad on beat 1 of m11 LH down the octave to provide a smoother LH transition from m10 to m11.)
- There are also 16th notes at the end of m14/16 LH, so you could do something like this (or simply incorporate them directly into the same layer):
(https://i.imgur.com/Z3mHf0E.png)
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on July 01, 2020, 05:48:19 AM
Moon Mountain
Made all the suggested changes.
- I swear I had the Layer 2 part at the end of m10 in an earlier draft, not sure what happened there lol...
- The way you wrote out the last 8 bars is much less convoluted than what I had so makes sense. It sounded to me like the flute was re-articulating some of those nots which is where the extra 16ths came from, but honestly it's probably better off without those (if they were even there in the first place).

Breeze
All the changes should be done for this one as well.
- Good call on the octaves at the end, I wasn't sure at first but when I listened to it it definitely sounded a lot less muddy.

Thanks for taking such a thorough look at these two sheets!


You can leave them as quarter notes if you want, or make them just 8th notes, up to you. The other changes look great, so I'll be approving this one now.
I also decided to add the 16th notes in to this one after all, I'd rather it be more accurate to the original.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on July 05, 2020, 05:50:04 AM
Moon Mountain
Looking good! The only other suggestion I have would be to consider making m1-12 three measures per system instead of four, since it's pretty cramped right now (especially the measures with the Layer 2 sixteenth notes). You might also consider doing the same for m13-24 (and then leave m25-28 as a four-measure system) since those are kinda cramped too, although if you would rather keep them as is so that the systems and phrases match up, that might be okay too.

Breeze
Great! The only other suggestion I'd make is to turn m11/13 LH beat 4 into an eighth note for readability's sake (to get rid of the stray 16th rest). If you wanted, you could also add staccatos to all the eighth note dyads in the LH in m11-16 to emphasize the bounciness of that part.

I also think the LH chord in the optional ending could be moved up an octave too. In fact, everything from middle C and above (C-E-G) could be moved into the RH instead. And, on that note, is there any particular reason that the root of the chord is G and not C? I think the simplest choice would be to put a low C into the LH (the same C as m18 LH layer 2 beat 4) and a C-E-G-C chord in the RH.

Once those suggestions are considered, I'll approve both sheets.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 05, 2020, 05:01:47 PM
Bar Theme
Looks good, just a few things:
- In m. 5/7/13/15 the E grace note leading to the E on beat 3 is a bit odd - perhaps you would want to omit that to avoid playing it twice in a row? (Or change it to a D# if that makes sense / is consistent with the original)
- In m. 8/16 the melody goes B-G similar to m. 4/12 but the upper B obscures that on beat 1.5. Maybe consider removing the top B? (Also in these places you'll want to make sure the augmentation dot doesn't overlap the lower layer.)
- Might be able to bend the slur up a bit in m. 14 so the natural doesn't overlap it.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on July 05, 2020, 11:27:02 PM
Moon Mountain
Looking good! The only other suggestion I have would be to consider making m1-12 three measures per system instead of four, since it's pretty cramped right now (especially the measures with the Layer 2 sixteenth notes). You might also consider doing the same for m13-24 (and then leave m25-28 as a four-measure system) since those are kinda cramped too, although if you would rather keep them as is so that the systems and phrases match up, that might be okay too.
I gave it a try, but I think I prefer to have the phrases line up with the systems. I did manually add a tiny bit of width to the measures with the 2nd layer 16th notes, however, so I hope that helps a bit.

Breeze
Great! The only other suggestion I'd make is to turn m11/13 LH beat 4 into an eighth note for readability's sake (to get rid of the stray 16th rest). If you wanted, you could also add staccatos to all the eighth note dyads in the LH in m11-16 to emphasize the bounciness of that part.

I also think the LH chord in the optional ending could be moved up an octave too. In fact, everything from middle C and above (C-E-G) could be moved into the RH instead. And, on that note, is there any particular reason that the root of the chord is G and not C? I think the simplest choice would be to put a low C into the LH (the same C as m18 LH layer 2 beat 4) and a C-E-G-C chord in the RH.
- Good idea, I implemented both suggestions. I also removed a tied note in m. 15 since the staccato made it redundant.
- Honestly, I had just left that chord untouched from the original arrangement. I'm not sure why there was a G in the bass, s I went ahead and revoiced it mostly as suggested. The only issue was that I was having trouble getting the rolled chord to work in playback, so I'm not sure if there's a setting I need to change somewhere?

Bar Theme
Looks good, just a few things:
- In m. 5/7/13/15 the E grace note leading to the E on beat 3 is a bit odd - perhaps you would want to omit that to avoid playing it twice in a row? (Or change it to a D# if that makes sense / is consistent with the original)
- In m. 8/16 the melody goes B-G similar to m. 4/12 but the upper B obscures that on beat 1.5. Maybe consider removing the top B? (Also in these places you'll want to make sure the augmentation dot doesn't overlap the lower layer.)
- Might be able to bend the slur up a bit in m. 14 so the natural doesn't overlap it.
- Changing the grace note to a D# sounds fine to my ear, so I went with that.
- Done. I moved the notes that were overlapping the dot over a bit; does that look better?
- Also done.

Thanks to both of you for the suggestions!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 06, 2020, 12:33:03 AM
Bar Theme
Looks good, just a few things:
- In m. 5/7/13/15 the E grace note leading to the E on beat 3 is a bit odd - perhaps you would want to omit that to avoid playing it twice in a row? (Or change it to a D# if that makes sense / is consistent with the original)
- In m. 8/16 the melody goes B-G similar to m. 4/12 but the upper B obscures that on beat 1.5. Maybe consider removing the top B? (Also in these places you'll want to make sure the augmentation dot doesn't overlap the lower layer.)
- Might be able to bend the slur up a bit in m. 14 so the natural doesn't overlap it.
- Changing the grace note to a D# sounds fine to my ear, so I went with that.
- Done. I moved the notes that were overlapping the dot over a bit; does that look better?
- Also done.
Cool! Last couple of things. There look like there are small ties coming from the D# grace notes that should be removed. And for m. 8/16 I think it would look better to move the augmentation dot up instead of move the lower layer to the right.
Otherwise, looks great :)
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on July 06, 2020, 01:33:23 AM
Cool! Last couple of things. There look like there are small ties coming from the D# grace notes that should be removed. And for m. 8/16 I think it would look better to move the augmentation dot up instead of move the lower layer to the right.
Otherwise, looks great :)
Done! Moving the dot up makes wayyy more sense lol, why didn't I think of that?
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on July 07, 2020, 05:59:00 AM
Both Moon Mountain and Breeze look good, approving!

In case you missed it, I also made this one other suggestion for Breeze:

(You could keep the very first dyad on beat 1 of m11 LH down the octave to provide a smoother LH transition from m10 to m11.)

As it is, it's a pretty big leap to make in the time of a sixteenth note. But if you decided (or decide now) not to go with this, that's fine too.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on July 07, 2020, 06:34:08 PM
In case you missed it, I also made this one other suggestion for Breeze:

As it is, it's a pretty big leap to make in the time of a sixteenth note. But if you decided (or decide now) not to go with this, that's fine too.
Hm, I would prefer to keep beat 1 of m. 11 where it is, but what do you think about moving the G on beat 4.75 of m. 10 up the octave to lead into that better? It changes the shape slightly from the original, but if it's easier to play it might be a good compromise.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on July 07, 2020, 06:55:43 PM
Hm, I would prefer to keep beat 1 of m. 11 where it is, but what do you think about moving the G on beat 4.75 of m. 10 up the octave to lead into that better? It changes the shape slightly from the original, but if it's easier to play it might be a good compromise.

That works too!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on July 07, 2020, 07:16:30 PM
That works too!
Sounds good, done!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 07, 2020, 10:44:24 PM
Bar Theme
Done! Moving the dot up makes wayyy more sense lol, why didn't I think of that?
Sweet! Accepting :)
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Libera on July 08, 2020, 01:58:05 PM
Moon Mountain

-In the final left hand dyad of bar 4, the Bb sounds like a C to me.
-Where you have these beat 2.5 interjected chords in the left hand (bars 5,7,9,11), I think something to consider might be changing them to be CG dyads below the bass line.  My reasoning is that the interjections in the original have a much more bass heavy sound (and also I'm not sure I hear an E in them anyway.)  Something to think about anyway.
-While I remember, I think the key signature would be better as no sharps or flats.  The tonal centre of the piece is around C (and it even does a sort of relative minor thing at 21) so I think it'd be better for the key to reflect that.
-The bass sounds like it does something much more exciting at bar 20 then in previous instances.  Or maybe it's a new instrument, it's kind of hard for me to tell.  Either way, I think it'd be good to get the extra chromatic stuff going on in bar 20 into the sheet.
-Any chance we could include the little licks beginning on Ebs in bar 21,23 etc. ?  It gives it a sort of jazzy diminished feel that's currents missing without them, but maybe you tried already and it didn't work so well.
-I'm not sure I hear the G in the final bar.  It just sounds like unison Cs to me.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on July 08, 2020, 05:27:07 PM
-In the final left hand dyad of bar 4, the Bb sounds like a C to me.

Just interjecting to say that I hear a Bb here, not a C

EDIT: Never mind, I checked again. It's a C, my bad
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on July 10, 2020, 03:40:51 AM
Moon Mountain
-Where you have these beat 2.5 interjected chords in the left hand (bars 5,7,9,11), I think something to consider might be changing them to be CG dyads below the bass line.  My reasoning is that the interjections in the original have a much more bass heavy sound (and also I'm not sure I hear an E in them anyway.)  Something to think about anyway.
- I went back and forth on this one a bit, but in the end I've decided to go with your suggestion. Without the E's, the upper octave sounds pretty empty anyways.

Moon Mountain
-The bass sounds like it does something much more exciting at bar 20 then in previous instances.  Or maybe it's a new instrument, it's kind of hard for me to tell.  Either way, I think it'd be good to get the extra chromatic stuff going on in bar 20 into the sheet.
- I think it's another instrument alongside the bass, but as you said it's hard to tell. I added those notes anyways, since they're a pretty important part.

Moon Mountain
-Any chance we could include the little licks beginning on Ebs in bar 21,23 etc. ?  It gives it a sort of jazzy diminished feel that's currents missing without them, but maybe you tried already and it didn't work so well.
- Man I had to listen to those bars so many times before I even heard that line, you have a good ear lol. I think I got them in, assuming the pitches I was able to pick out are the right ones.

All of the other changes have been done as well. Thanks!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Libera on July 11, 2020, 12:14:04 AM
All of the other changes have been done as well. Thanks!

Cool.  The only thing I'd say now is that you might want to hide the layer 2 rests in 21, 23 etc and flip the last two beats of each bar so they have the standard direction.  I think it'd make the articulations clearer to read, but if you'd prefer not to then that's fine also.  Will accept afterwards!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on July 13, 2020, 05:11:27 PM
Cool.  The only thing I'd say now is that you might want to hide the layer 2 rests in 21, 23 etc and flip the last two beats of each bar so they have the standard direction.  I think it'd make the articulations clearer to read, but if you'd prefer not to then that's fine also.  Will accept afterwards!
Oops, just saw this now. Edits have been made!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Libera on July 13, 2020, 06:04:52 PM
Oops, just saw this now. Edits have been made!

Sweet, Moon Mountain is accepted!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Libera on August 20, 2020, 04:23:12 PM
Breeze

Sorry about the wait on this one!

-I think it'd be a good idea to try and be more consistent with the left hand patterns in places.  For example, I think that the first half of bars 3-6 and (separately) bars 7-10 should all look the same.  It's awkward to learn when you have a lot of phrases that are slightly different to one another and I don't think the differences (which I'm not even sure I can tell apart definitively in the original) are worth including.  Personally, I think the neatest would be two single notes followed by either a dyad or a chord.  In any case, I wouldn't put an E below the bass note (G) in bar 5 beat 1.75.
-It sounds like the bass goes up to an E at the end of bar 14 rather than a C.
-You might want to think about rolling more of the chords/dyads to reflect the strumming.
-The rhythm is wrong in the right hand near the end of bar 14 (F should be a semiquaver and the E a quaver).
-I think there should be a tie on the first C in the right hand of bar 15.
-I'd say the En at the start of bar 16 would be a good place for a courtesy accidental.
-The Bn in bar 5's left hand should be a C (like in bar 3).
-You're missing the bass movement at the end of bar 16.
-I think the three C chords in bar 18 should probably all be voiced in the same way since they are in the original.  Also, the final chord sounds like another C chord but an inversion lower to me.  (I don't hear the F.)
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on August 22, 2020, 09:43:05 PM
-I think it'd be a good idea to try and be more consistent with the left hand patterns in places.  For example, I think that the first half of bars 3-6 and (separately) bars 7-10 should all look the same.  It's awkward to learn when you have a lot of phrases that are slightly different to one another and I don't think the differences (which I'm not even sure I can tell apart definitively in the original) are worth including.  Personally, I think the neatest would be two single notes followed by either a dyad or a chord.  In any case, I wouldn't put an E below the bass note (G) in bar 5 beat 1.75.
- That makes sense, those spots have been unified.

-It sounds like the bass goes up to an E at the end of bar 14 rather than a C.
- I'm pretty sure that I'm hearing a C there - just to be sure, what beat do you hear the E on?

-You might want to think about rolling more of the chords/dyads to reflect the strumming.
- I did try this in a few spots in the first half, but I didn't really like the way it sounded. In the second half, the guitar is a lot more percussive so it doesn't seem like rolling the chords would be appropriate there.

-You're missing the bass movement at the end of bar 16.
- I think I got this. It's a bit awkward because it crosses into the upper chords, but I didn't want to move it down for reach reasons (and also to lead better into the next bar).

Everything else has been edited accordingly.

Sorry about the wait on this one!
It's no problem at all. Thanks for checking!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Libera on August 25, 2020, 08:51:58 AM
- I'm pretty sure that I'm hearing a C there - just to be sure, what beat do you hear the E on?

Beat 3.5.

- I think I got this. It's a bit awkward because it crosses into the upper chords, but I didn't want to move it down for reach reasons (and also to lead better into the next bar).

Maybe bass movement wasn't the phrase I should have used.  I just meant that in 12 and 14 you wrote in the guitar going C-G semiquavers at the end in the left hand but missed it out in bar 16.  Although you're right that there should also be an E there (like in 14) but once again I hear it on beat 3.5.

The rest of the edits look good to me.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on August 25, 2020, 05:36:55 PM
Maybe bass movement wasn't the phrase I should have used.  I just meant that in 12 and 14 you wrote in the guitar going C-G semiquavers at the end in the left hand but missed it out in bar 16.  Although you're right that there should also be an E there (like in 14) but once again I hear it on beat 3.5.
Ohhh I see what you mean. Fixed!

Beat 3.5.
Ok I do hear the E now, but I'm hearing it on beat 3.75 instead of 3.5. I wrote out the bassline separately for bar 16 as an example of the notes/rhythm I'm hearing (ignore the articulations). I hear that E in bars 12 and 14 as well, with the same rhythm.

(https://i.imgur.com/U1htfVU.png)
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Libera on August 31, 2020, 02:49:55 PM
Yes sorry I got confused.  Beat 3.75 is correct.  Are you sure about it in bar 12 though?  I just hear the bass going to a C rather than an E like it does in bars 14 and 16.

Also, the third system on page 2 was weirdly spaced when I opened it up, but that's easy enough for me to fix if it's just a finale import problem.  I can just fix it when I fix the articulations.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on September 04, 2020, 08:13:41 PM
Are you sure about it in bar 12 though?  I just hear the bass going to a C rather than an E like it does in bars 14 and 16.
Yeah I think you're right.

Also, the third system on page 2 was weirdly spaced when I opened it up, but that's easy enough for me to fix if it's just a finale import problem.  I can just fix it when I fix the articulations.
Oops that was on my end too, fixed.

Thanks for the patience with this, hopefully all the kinks have been ironed out now!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Libera on September 04, 2020, 08:27:07 PM
Thanks for the patience with this, hopefully all the kinks have been ironed out now!

No worries, accepted!
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on November 18, 2020, 10:03:57 PM
Gustafa's Yurt
-Why not include the steel string guitar (F#) on m2 b3.5 LH? It shows up other places throughout the piece (A on b3 of m4) and I think it'd be a welcome addition.
-m17-end - not sure why the steel string guitar is always staccato? Almost all the notes are played to ring out and connect, not to be disconnected from each other.
-m20 - Again, the staccato. Not sure what the RH is doing on b2. Why not have a 2nd layer chord here hit on beat 1 instead? Or combine the chorus and the guitar to have a chord in a single layer?
-1st layer in m21 RH would be better suited as a D below the G to highlight the guitar here, imo.
-m22 RH - Chord here is a Em. I'd recommend raising the C# to a D here for the 4th.
-This is what I'd recommend for m24-26:
(https://i.fiery.me/XnhwL.jpg)
- I'd recommend seperating the steel string guitar from the plucked strings more in the last 6 measures. They're really hard to differentiate right now, especially with the staccatos for the guitar
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on November 26, 2020, 10:08:24 PM
-Why not include the steel string guitar (F#) on m2 b3.5 LH? It shows up other places throughout the piece (A on b3 of m4) and I think it'd be a welcome addition.
Went through again and added it where I thought it fit, let me know if I missed anything.

-m17-end - not sure why the steel string guitar is always staccato? Almost all the notes are played to ring out and connect, not to be disconnected from each other.
Hm I think my intention with the staccatos was to emulate the sharp attack of the guitar, but sustained makes more sense. I redid the articulations for this section accordingly.

-m20 - Again, the staccato. Not sure what the RH is doing on b2. Why not have a 2nd layer chord here hit on beat 1 instead? Or combine the chorus and the guitar to have a chord in a single layer?
I'm hearing the soprano voice coming in on beat 2 here while the bass in on beat 1, but maybe I'm hearing that wrong? I'll change it if so.

-1st layer in m21 RH would be better suited as a D below the G to highlight the guitar here, imo.
-m22 RH - Chord here is a Em. I'd recommend raising the C# to a D here for the 4th.
-This is what I'd recommend for m24-26:
(https://i.fiery.me/XnhwL.jpg)
- I'd recommend seperating the steel string guitar from the plucked strings more in the last 6 measures. They're really hard to differentiate right now, especially with the staccatos for the guitar
Fixed all this as well, and ended up putting the plucked strings in a different octave in those last few bars to separate the parts better.

Thanks for the feedback!

EDIT: Whoops, I forgot to mention that I wasn't happy with the dynamics I had earlier so I changed those as well.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 11, 2020, 12:18:03 AM
Summer
All LH As in the baseline that look like m1 are actually Gs
Likewise, Bns in m21-end are Ds.
m23 and likewise look like:
(https://i.fiery.me/BocKy.jpg)
A 8vb marking wouldn't be out of place for m21-end
Move the systems closer together and down on page 2 so they're not colliding with the measure number.
RH:
m1-2/19-20 - b2.75-b3 G should be an F
m10:
(https://i.fiery.me/9KSAE.jpg)
m14/18 - b2.25 - G should be an F
m24/28/32/36 would sound better an octave higher
m36 b4.5 - C, not a G.

That should be it
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 15, 2020, 09:20:18 PM
Gustafa's Yurt
RH:
-m7 - There's a 5th harmony (B) below the F. Also in m13
-m18 - why isn't this chord the same structure as m17? It sounds like it's exactly the same voices playing in the same harmonies, just slightly higher
-m20 - I think the G comes in on b1, it just seems like it gets slightly louder on b2, which I don't think is important to notate. The chord also sounds really empty without the G there at the beginning.
LH:
-m12 - I'd recommend adding in the guitar's E on b2.5.
-m14 - The guitar's F#-A progression on b2-3 doesn't make sense when the F# isn't present, so I'd recommend adding it in some way.
-m15-16 - The b3.5-b1 progression of F#-G would be even better if you included an octave harmony to include the guitar's part here too. It also plays a G-A on b2-3 in m16 (an octave lower than the notes you have) but the playability might be changing so feel free to leave them out if you want.
-m22b1 is identical to m21b1
-m23 - I'd suggest adding an A harmony to b1 here.
-m27 looks like this:
(https://i.fiery.me/XToDO.jpg)
I'd recommend making b2 a rest or something and leaving the rest as I just wrote it.
-m32 - add an F# on the top of the final chord?

That looks like it's about it.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Code_Name_Geek on December 16, 2020, 01:07:55 AM
Whew, made all the suggested edits on both of those. The ones I was unsure about are below:

Summer
m1-2/19-20 - b2.75-b3 G should be an F
Did you mean b3.75-b4 here? If so, that's been fixed as well.

Gustafa's Yurt
-m18 - why isn't this chord the same structure as m17? It sounds like it's exactly the same voices playing in the same harmonies, just slightly higher
I wasn't exactly sure what you meant here, but I added an A in the upper octave. If anything else should be changed just let me know.

Thanks for all the help, I'm not the best at picking out exact harmonies.
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 16, 2020, 01:19:30 AM
Yep, they both look great now!

Both are approved
Title: Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on December 19, 2020, 08:00:15 PM
Both look good, so accepted as well! That's a wrap on the Harvest Moon section ;D