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Author Topic: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements  (Read 1135 times)

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2020, 01:33:23 AM »

Cool! Last couple of things. There look like there are small ties coming from the D# grace notes that should be removed. And for m. 8/16 I think it would look better to move the augmentation dot up instead of move the lower layer to the right.
Otherwise, looks great :)
Done! Moving the dot up makes wayyy more sense lol, why didn't I think of that?
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #16 on: July 07, 2020, 05:59:00 AM »

Both Moon Mountain and Breeze look good, approving!

In case you missed it, I also made this one other suggestion for Breeze:

(You could keep the very first dyad on beat 1 of m11 LH down the octave to provide a smoother LH transition from m10 to m11.)

As it is, it's a pretty big leap to make in the time of a sixteenth note. But if you decided (or decide now) not to go with this, that's fine too.
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #17 on: July 07, 2020, 06:34:08 PM »

In case you missed it, I also made this one other suggestion for Breeze:

As it is, it's a pretty big leap to make in the time of a sixteenth note. But if you decided (or decide now) not to go with this, that's fine too.
Hm, I would prefer to keep beat 1 of m. 11 where it is, but what do you think about moving the G on beat 4.75 of m. 10 up the octave to lead into that better? It changes the shape slightly from the original, but if it's easier to play it might be a good compromise.
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #18 on: July 07, 2020, 06:55:43 PM »

Hm, I would prefer to keep beat 1 of m. 11 where it is, but what do you think about moving the G on beat 4.75 of m. 10 up the octave to lead into that better? It changes the shape slightly from the original, but if it's easier to play it might be a good compromise.

That works too!
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #19 on: July 07, 2020, 07:16:30 PM »

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #20 on: July 07, 2020, 10:44:24 PM »

Bar Theme
Done! Moving the dot up makes wayyy more sense lol, why didn't I think of that?
Sweet! Accepting :)
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2020, 01:58:05 PM »

Moon Mountain

-In the final left hand dyad of bar 4, the Bb sounds like a C to me.
-Where you have these beat 2.5 interjected chords in the left hand (bars 5,7,9,11), I think something to consider might be changing them to be CG dyads below the bass line.  My reasoning is that the interjections in the original have a much more bass heavy sound (and also I'm not sure I hear an E in them anyway.)  Something to think about anyway.
-While I remember, I think the key signature would be better as no sharps or flats.  The tonal centre of the piece is around C (and it even does a sort of relative minor thing at 21) so I think it'd be better for the key to reflect that.
-The bass sounds like it does something much more exciting at bar 20 then in previous instances.  Or maybe it's a new instrument, it's kind of hard for me to tell.  Either way, I think it'd be good to get the extra chromatic stuff going on in bar 20 into the sheet.
-Any chance we could include the little licks beginning on Ebs in bar 21,23 etc. ?  It gives it a sort of jazzy diminished feel that's currents missing without them, but maybe you tried already and it didn't work so well.
-I'm not sure I hear the G in the final bar.  It just sounds like unison Cs to me.

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2020, 05:27:07 PM »

-In the final left hand dyad of bar 4, the Bb sounds like a C to me.

Just interjecting to say that I hear a Bb here, not a C

EDIT: Never mind, I checked again. It's a C, my bad
« Last Edit: July 08, 2020, 05:36:34 PM by mastersuperfan »
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #23 on: July 10, 2020, 03:40:51 AM »

Moon Mountain
-Where you have these beat 2.5 interjected chords in the left hand (bars 5,7,9,11), I think something to consider might be changing them to be CG dyads below the bass line.  My reasoning is that the interjections in the original have a much more bass heavy sound (and also I'm not sure I hear an E in them anyway.)  Something to think about anyway.
- I went back and forth on this one a bit, but in the end I've decided to go with your suggestion. Without the E's, the upper octave sounds pretty empty anyways.

Moon Mountain
-The bass sounds like it does something much more exciting at bar 20 then in previous instances.  Or maybe it's a new instrument, it's kind of hard for me to tell.  Either way, I think it'd be good to get the extra chromatic stuff going on in bar 20 into the sheet.
- I think it's another instrument alongside the bass, but as you said it's hard to tell. I added those notes anyways, since they're a pretty important part.

Moon Mountain
-Any chance we could include the little licks beginning on Ebs in bar 21,23 etc. ?  It gives it a sort of jazzy diminished feel that's currents missing without them, but maybe you tried already and it didn't work so well.
- Man I had to listen to those bars so many times before I even heard that line, you have a good ear lol. I think I got them in, assuming the pitches I was able to pick out are the right ones.

All of the other changes have been done as well. Thanks!
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #24 on: July 11, 2020, 12:14:04 AM »

All of the other changes have been done as well. Thanks!

Cool.  The only thing I'd say now is that you might want to hide the layer 2 rests in 21, 23 etc and flip the last two beats of each bar so they have the standard direction.  I think it'd make the articulations clearer to read, but if you'd prefer not to then that's fine also.  Will accept afterwards!

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #25 on: July 13, 2020, 05:11:27 PM »

Cool.  The only thing I'd say now is that you might want to hide the layer 2 rests in 21, 23 etc and flip the last two beats of each bar so they have the standard direction.  I think it'd make the articulations clearer to read, but if you'd prefer not to then that's fine also.  Will accept afterwards!
Oops, just saw this now. Edits have been made!
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #26 on: July 13, 2020, 06:04:52 PM »

Oops, just saw this now. Edits have been made!

Sweet, Moon Mountain is accepted!

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #27 on: August 20, 2020, 04:23:12 PM »

Breeze

Sorry about the wait on this one!

-I think it'd be a good idea to try and be more consistent with the left hand patterns in places.  For example, I think that the first half of bars 3-6 and (separately) bars 7-10 should all look the same.  It's awkward to learn when you have a lot of phrases that are slightly different to one another and I don't think the differences (which I'm not even sure I can tell apart definitively in the original) are worth including.  Personally, I think the neatest would be two single notes followed by either a dyad or a chord.  In any case, I wouldn't put an E below the bass note (G) in bar 5 beat 1.75.
-It sounds like the bass goes up to an E at the end of bar 14 rather than a C.
-You might want to think about rolling more of the chords/dyads to reflect the strumming.
-The rhythm is wrong in the right hand near the end of bar 14 (F should be a semiquaver and the E a quaver).
-I think there should be a tie on the first C in the right hand of bar 15.
-I'd say the En at the start of bar 16 would be a good place for a courtesy accidental.
-The Bn in bar 5's left hand should be a C (like in bar 3).
-You're missing the bass movement at the end of bar 16.
-I think the three C chords in bar 18 should probably all be voiced in the same way since they are in the original.  Also, the final chord sounds like another C chord but an inversion lower to me.  (I don't hear the F.)

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #28 on: August 22, 2020, 09:43:05 PM »

-I think it'd be a good idea to try and be more consistent with the left hand patterns in places.  For example, I think that the first half of bars 3-6 and (separately) bars 7-10 should all look the same.  It's awkward to learn when you have a lot of phrases that are slightly different to one another and I don't think the differences (which I'm not even sure I can tell apart definitively in the original) are worth including.  Personally, I think the neatest would be two single notes followed by either a dyad or a chord.  In any case, I wouldn't put an E below the bass note (G) in bar 5 beat 1.75.
- That makes sense, those spots have been unified.

-It sounds like the bass goes up to an E at the end of bar 14 rather than a C.
- I'm pretty sure that I'm hearing a C there - just to be sure, what beat do you hear the E on?

-You might want to think about rolling more of the chords/dyads to reflect the strumming.
- I did try this in a few spots in the first half, but I didn't really like the way it sounded. In the second half, the guitar is a lot more percussive so it doesn't seem like rolling the chords would be appropriate there.

-You're missing the bass movement at the end of bar 16.
- I think I got this. It's a bit awkward because it crosses into the upper chords, but I didn't want to move it down for reach reasons (and also to lead better into the next bar).

Everything else has been edited accordingly.

Sorry about the wait on this one!
It's no problem at all. Thanks for checking!
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #29 on: August 25, 2020, 08:51:58 AM »

- I'm pretty sure that I'm hearing a C there - just to be sure, what beat do you hear the E on?

Beat 3.5.

- I think I got this. It's a bit awkward because it crosses into the upper chords, but I didn't want to move it down for reach reasons (and also to lead better into the next bar).

Maybe bass movement wasn't the phrase I should have used.  I just meant that in 12 and 14 you wrote in the guitar going C-G semiquavers at the end in the left hand but missed it out in bar 16.  Although you're right that there should also be an E there (like in 14) but once again I hear it on beat 3.5.

The rest of the edits look good to me.
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