[SNES] EarthBound - "Boy Meets Girl (Twoson)" (Replacement) by Yug Guy

Started by Zeta, October 11, 2016, 06:30:59 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: EarthBound
Game: EarthBound
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Boy Meets Girl (Twoson)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Yug Guy


Replacement Information:

Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

[attachment deleted by admin]

Yug_Guy


The actual title of this piece is "Boy Meets Girl (Twoson)". One small thing I'd like to point out is the tie from beat 4.5 of m.6 to m.7; I'd like to have that cross-staffed, but I don't seem to be able to do it in PrintMusic. If someone could please help me out with that, that would be great!

joeberryosponge


Yug_Guy

Quote from: joeberryosponge on October 13, 2016, 08:45:29 AMI cross staffed the that note for you and moves some rests that were clashing with the notes.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ith5d1tqsns7rr6/Earthbound%20Twoson.musx?dl=0
Thank you very much! OP has been updated with the changes.

Yug_Guy


daj

Hey, I'm doing an EB run now! ^^ This track definitely brings back some awesome memories, and I think your arrangement has done a fantastic job in preserving its most defining feature - sinplicity. You've stayed almost entirely faithful to the original, keeping the number of parts low, so much so that it reads a little like a transcription...and I'll talk more about that later, but for now you've got a clean and simple score which does what it needs to do :)

I think the main issue I see is that the quaver note ostinato above the melody line might sound a little off. I think it is kinda.okay if you can shape it, but not very natural. Yet, it's such a characteristic feature of your score that I think it'd be unfair to suggest changing that, so yeah. It's a tiny bit awkward, but more or less can be made to work.

You've also made pretty much an exact transcription of the melody and bass line, along with the ostinato. That's really good, but when those parts are played together, it can sound thin. The guitar part in the original covers a larger frequency range and is more resonant than a piano can ever be, so it fills harmonies much better. Some parts have really awkward three-/two-part harmony. Um, pardon the theory haha, but here's a list:

- b. 11 bt 4: kinda-exposed octave. contrary motion yeah, but it sounds really empty there.
- b. 13-16: generally lack 3rd of chords, which sounds ambiguous after a while
- b. 21: consecutive 5ths.
- b. 26 bt 3: F# and G clash, aaand balancing it is exceptionally hard here
- end repeat bar: no bass harmony notes on strong beats, making the chord progression ambiguous.

~

All that being said, while I'd really like to add some beef to the track by throwing in harmonic support, I see that you're going for a clean and faithful arrangement. If you think that we could use more filling here, I'd be more than happy to suggest more! ^^ But if you think it sounds fine then we can keep it as it is. It irks me a little, but it's still a great effort and a very pleasant score :)

Cheers!

Yug_Guy

Quote from: dajwxp on October 26, 2016, 08:25:52 AMHey, I'm doing an EB run now! ^^ This track definitely brings back some awesome memories, and I think your arrangement has done a fantastic job in preserving its most defining feature - sinplicity. You've stayed almost entirely faithful to the original, keeping the number of parts low, so much so that it reads a little like a transcription...and I'll talk more about that later, but for now you've got a clean and simple score which does what it needs to do :)
Thanks! I usually try to keep my arrangements as faithful as I possible can to the original; sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't...

Quote from: dajwxp on October 26, 2016, 08:25:52 AMI think the main issue I see is that the quaver note ostinato above the melody line might sound a little off. I think it is kinda okay if you can shape it, but not very natural. Yet, it's such a characteristic feature of your score that I think it'd be unfair to suggest changing that, so yeah. It's a tiny bit awkward, but more or less can be made to work.

You've also made pretty much an exact transcription of the melody and bass line, along with the ostinato. That's really good, but when those parts are played together, it can sound thin. The guitar part in the original covers a larger frequency range and is more resonant than a piano can ever be, so it fills harmonies much better. Some parts have really awkward three-/two-part harmony. Um, pardon the theory haha, but here's a list:

- b. 11 bt 4: kinda-exposed octave. contrary motion yeah, but it sounds really empty there.
- b. 13-16: generally lack 3rd of chords, which sounds ambiguous after a while
- b. 21: consecutive 5ths.
- b. 26 bt 3: F# and G clash, aaand balancing it is exceptionally hard here
Funny; you just listed a number of my concerns about this piece as well.

One of the more frustrating aspects about Earthbound's music is that a lot of the instruments tend to be in the same range as one another. It's impossible to put in every voice of the song, since it would clash way too often. This leaves three options: keep it the way it is (and have lots of clashing), lower/raise it one or more octaves (which might make it sound weird), or taking it out altogether (which leaves it sounding empty). Earthbound's soundtrack has a lot of layering & sustained notes, so that last one isn't really an option.

In this particular case, the guitar clashes with the main melody. As you can see, I tried keeping as many notes as I could without clashing, but this leads to a much emptier-sounding R.H. I would've put the guitar in the left hand, but I decided against it initially for two major reasons: 1) it just would've sounded weirder, and 2) the bass moves up and down so often that it would be difficult to keep any consistency in the guitar part. 

Of course, upon taking a closer inspection, I think it might be worth trying to put the guitar in the L.H. I did something similar for a more recent arrangement, and it turned out okay. I'll let you know if it works out.

Quote from: dajwxp on October 26, 2016, 08:25:52 AM- end repeat bar: no bass harmony notes on strong beats, making the chord progression ambiguous.
Huh. Hadn't thought of that. I'll see what I can do.

Quote from: dajwxp on October 26, 2016, 08:25:52 AMAll that being said, while I'd really like to add some beef to the track by throwing in harmonic support, I see that you're going for a clean and faithful arrangement. If you think that we could use more filling here, I'd be more than happy to suggest more! ^^ But if you think it sounds fine then we can keep it as it is. It irks me a little, but it's still a great effort and a very pleasant score :)
Cheers!
Oh don't worry, it irks me too. But I'll figure something out eventually.  ;)

Cheers!

Yug_Guy

I've updated the OP with a sheet that (hopefully) fixes two major issues:

1. Fleshes out the guitar part as much as possible (in the R.H.)
2. Adds a harmony in the L.H. in m. 37

Let me know if this is better or worse than my earlier one. I may still have to do some tinkering around with it.

Yug_Guy


Maelstrom

M6 RH is Cmaj, not Gmaj.
m12 is Bmaj, not Bm
Same in 20
First RH chord in 14 is a F#+A
Same in m16
m23 chords are D+G, D+G, E+G, F#+A
m28 RH beat 3+4 D should be sharped.
RH bass clef in 33 pls
Multiply misaligned layers

That's all for now. Try to give it another check over.

Yug_Guy

Quote from: Maelstrom on November 11, 2016, 03:46:57 PMM6 RH is Cmaj, not Gmaj.
m12 is Bmaj, not Bm
Same in 20
First RH chord in 14 is a F#+A
Same in m16
m23 chords are D+G, D+G, E+G, F#+A
m28 RH beat 3+4 D should be sharped.
RH bass clef in 33 pls
Fixed these. Will give it a more thorough look-over after supper.

Yug_Guy

Quote from: Maelstrom on November 11, 2016, 03:46:57 PMMultiple misaligned layers
I was able to correct measures 9 & 37, I tried changing measure 26, but no method seemed to work.

Quote from: Maelstrom on November 11, 2016, 03:46:57 PMThat's all for now. Try to give it another check over.
I've looked it over trying to see if there's anything I could fix/improve about it, but I just can't think of any way to fix the glaring issues in this piece. Like, I've thought about putting the guitar part in the L.H, but the bass part jumps around too much to be practical, and even if I tried throwing it in there anyway, it would leave the piece being very inconsistent (at least, more than it is now). I can't make the melody an octave higher, or else it'll clash with the guitar, and I can't lower the guitar down an octave, since it'll clash with the melody. I've tried inverting the guitar parts, but it just sounds weird to me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been having some trouble trying to get this piece to "work." If anyone has any advice or ideas on what I could do, I would appreciate the help. Otherwise, I'll probably fiddle with this some more.

Yug_Guy


Yug_Guy


Olimar12345

Stuff:
-Why the change in title? There is no official soundtrack release, and the next closest thing (The Mother 1+2 album) officially titles the track as "Twoson's Theme." (edit, this album also titles it simply "Twoson")
-Measure 16: the LH needs to release with the RH. Make the half note a quarter note followed by a quarter rest.
-The last four sixteenth notes in measure 36 (LH) should be (descending): G-F#-D-B
-The RH in the first four measure is...an odd choice imo. In the original, it sounds more like how you have it in measures 5-8 etc. I would suggest just doing that lol.
-Measure 14 RH chord on beat one should be G & B (ascending). This would make the reach a tenth down to that G, but it's only a third away from the LH, so why not have it played with the LH? This occurs again in measure 16.
-Just like I mentioned about the opening four measures, the RH in measures 34 & 35 sound distinctly like eighth notes rather than quarter notes (unlike how it changes in measure 36).
-Your composer names aren't in alignment.

More next time!
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