[NDS] Pokémon Black Version 2 & Pokémon White Version 2 - "N's Castle" by Trasdegi

Started by Zeta, August 25, 2018, 12:03:41 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Black Version 2 & Pokémon White Version 2
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: N's Castle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Trasdegi

[attachment deleted by admin]


Libera

I didn't really look through the notes but I noticed a couple of formatting issues and since I think you're using notepad (correct me if I'm wrong) I decided to go and fix them for you.

Libera_Edit_Mus

Things I changed:
- I changed the bar distribution from 4, 4, 6 to 5, 4, 5 for evenness.
- I noticed an unnecessary and large resize of 77% (iirc) so I lessened that to 85% and moved things around a bit.
- I also found that the staves were oddly close together which made some staccatos look a bit odd so I spaced them out a bit more.

You're free to use this file obviously.  Hope it helps!

Trasdegi

Updated. I opted for a different measure distribution (4-4-3-3), to reflet the different parts of the original. Added measure numbers, too.

AmpharosAndy

first staccato dot is clashing with the tempo marking (at least on the pdf) no probs with arrangement though :)
innit


Latios212

Quote from: AmpharosAndy on August 29, 2018, 12:46:01 PMfirst staccato dot is clashing with the tempo marking (at least on the pdf) no probs with arrangement though :)
Should still move it more up and left, it's still rather close.

Articulation. I'd highly suggest slur markings instead of tenuto markings as the notes lead directly into the ones following. Would also suggest considering using staccato and tenuto together instead of just staccato because the notes are detached but still held for enough time to give them emphasis - the sheet makes it look like you simply plunk each chord, which shouldn't be the case. There's weight to every beat.

Staccatissimo marks aren't aligned properly.

Some left hand notes in m. 9-11 are really low unlike the original. I would recommend giving it some contrast and have the low notes strike on the emphasized beats like in the original.

Also, the last measure which currently has a fermata in it isn't actually any longer than the other measures in the original. Though if you want to keep it there in an interpretive way I say it's fine.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle


Brassman388

Looks good, but

I'm not a big fan of having the rit. on the top of the staff. I've seen it that way if there's no room at the bottom or if there's additional text taking up space at the bottom.

Probs just a preference, but I dun like it. If no one has any complaints about it, then I'll give it the ol' thumb.

Trasdegi

I found this poll on the finale forums, and the vast majority of voters seems to agree with putting these above. I also always saw them above the staff. However, it might just be that I (and people on the finale forums) play one-staffed instruments. Maybe it's different for piano.

Maelstrom


Latios212

I also suggest leaving it in the middle as well unless there's something blocking it.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle


Latios212

Quote from: Latios212 on September 13, 2018, 05:10:28 PMWould also suggest considering using staccato and tenuto together instead of just staccato because the notes are detached but still held for enough time to give them emphasis - the sheet makes it look like you simply plunk each chord, which shouldn't be the case. There's weight to every beat.
Did you think about this?

Last thing about the notes: the chord in the first measure of the last system should have its Bb on top; I'd suggest inverting the C# down. I'd also reconsider the G in the left hand since the low tritone sounds muddy (although if that's the effect you're trying to achieve here, sure.)

Else looks fine. Just a few small things that I can update for you: missing measure numbers, footer too small, fermata missing on LH of last measure, and the beginning of the slur in the second to last measure should be lower so as not to touch the whole note C#.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera