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Author Topic: NSM Winter Update Project Thread  (Read 4351 times)

Latios212

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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #30 on: December 15, 2018, 11:16:33 PM »

I'm done with it now, aside from one last concern... I'm not quite sure what to do about this visually, arrangement wise it's fine but I don't know how to make this look better. :/



Maybe this...?



Approving, shout out if you have any better ideas for that measure.



I meant bar 65 as well haha.  I just completely forgot about flipping the notes.  It should be done now.
Nice. Approved!



Just wanted so say I've modified my submission to have the name match the official English track name, which apparently is just "Buried in Snow".
Updated that.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2018, 11:28:37 PM by Latios212 »
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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #31 on: December 15, 2018, 11:45:28 PM »

[SNES] Super Mario Kart

Vanilla Lake
                         

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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #32 on: December 16, 2018, 12:29:50 AM »

Static:

Freesia

-My main comment about this is what's going on with the left hand?  It's not so much of a problem later in the arrangement, but I feel like in the first two systems in particular I'm not sure what the sheet gains from the extra added in notes.  Especially the fact that adding in bass notes in bars 1-4 means that we lose the bass 'coming in' in bar 5 from the original.  You could have the first four bars with just chords, or try to incorporate some of the other weird stuff going on there instead.
-You could probably cut down on bars by using repeats, but I'm not sure it'd be enough to fit it on one sheet though so probably not worth it.
-Your staff size is a little too small.  I'd bring it up to 6mm.
-Everything else looks accurate.  Only accuracy thing I've got is in bar 35 I'm hearing the bass like in bar 33 (as in A E A rather than A E G).

Let me know what you think anyway.

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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #33 on: December 16, 2018, 03:38:03 PM »

LeviR.star

Level 4: Ice Cave

Very upbeat and merry, indeed!

-The left hand C in bar 23 sounds like it's the same length as the right hand notes rather than a staccato quaver.
-In the left hand in bar 12 the E should be a D.
-I'd suggest moving the 8vb at the end slightly more to the left to cover that note better (maybe the 8va in bar 14 as well).

Very minor comments; nice work.

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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #34 on: December 16, 2018, 05:14:10 PM »

Latios212

Frostlands

One of the Octopath pieces I know! 

-I'm hearing a Bb rather than a Db in the left hand of bar 7 for the first note.  Might be the Db in the right hand throwing you off (or throwing me off)? 
-In bars 20-22 there's another Ab hit at the start of bar 21 an octave above the previous one.  Might be nice to include just to make those bars a little more interesting.
-Could we move the dynamics in bars 3-4 so they start and end on the notes rather than before and after?  i.e. move the sfz above the first note and the n above the last.  Just to make it look a little neater there.

That's all; really nice stuff.

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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #35 on: December 16, 2018, 05:16:31 PM »

Here's my first submission. I might have others later.

While it's definitely not the way I'd have arranged it, the contour of your left hand part makes sense and sounds good, even if the upper voice is a bit hard to follow (along with the original) at the beginning of the song. I'm not seeing anything wrong here, so nice!

It's just missing the "Piano" staff name :P I've added that in and approved.
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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #36 on: December 16, 2018, 05:22:28 PM »

For consistency I'd add in the En in the right hand as well in bars 2 and 4 and the Gn in the left hand of bar 8 like in bar 16.

It was kinda hard to read this sentence at first, but I think I got them.

LeviR.star

Level 4: Ice Cave

Very upbeat and merry, indeed!

-The left hand C in bar 23 sounds like it's the same length as the right hand notes rather than a staccato quaver.
-In the left hand in bar 12 the E should be a D.
-I'd suggest moving the 8vb at the end slightly more to the left to cover that note better (maybe the 8va in bar 14 as well).

Very minor comments; nice work.

Thank you; fixes made.

Files in my folder updated.
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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #37 on: December 16, 2018, 05:25:50 PM »

Latios212

Frostlands

One of the Octopath pieces I know! 

-I'm hearing a Bb rather than a Db in the left hand of bar 7 for the first note.  Might be the Db in the right hand throwing you off (or throwing me off)? 
-In bars 20-22 there's another Ab hit at the start of bar 21 an octave above the previous one.  Might be nice to include just to make those bars a little more interesting.
-Could we move the dynamics in bars 3-4 so they start and end on the notes rather than before and after?  i.e. move the sfz above the first note and the n above the last.  Just to make it look a little neater there.

That's all; really nice stuff.
Thanks! I verified that note and fixed all the things.

Also, I talked to Static and will be including his arrangement of "Flamesgrace, Guiding Light", which I've already checked some time back.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2018, 05:28:46 PM by Latios212 »
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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #38 on: December 16, 2018, 05:35:47 PM »

LeviR.star

Bonus Stage

Approved!  Sorry about that sentence being hard to read.  Sometimes they get away from me.

Level 4: Ice Cave

Approved!

Latios212

Frostlands

Approved!

Trasdegi

Panula Cave

Accepted!  The first sheet as well.

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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #39 on: December 16, 2018, 05:44:19 PM »

While it's definitely not the way I'd have arranged it, the contour of your left hand part makes sense and sounds good, even if the upper voice is a bit hard to follow (along with the original) at the beginning of the song. I'm not seeing anything wrong here, so nice!

I assume you're talking about the right hand in the first eight measures? I'm curious to know what you would have done. I usually use AudioOverload for my first draft when working with tracks like these, so that might be why the right hand line looks like filler (the way I see it, that's what that line is).

Anyway, second submission:


(I linked this video because it wasn't a 30 min extended version, but the official English name is just "Esto Gaza". Also, I think Insig's going to like the harmonies in this one.)

And third submission:


This is a replacement of one of my older submissions, which I'd like to include because a) it fits thematically, b) my formatting was garbage at the time and I'd like to eventually replace all of my first few submissions, c) it was accepted without a proper indication of character, which I really want to have for each of my arrangements.
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Latios212

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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #40 on: December 16, 2018, 05:50:12 PM »

Levi - Secret Mine
- m. 2 beat 3 RH should be A-C (different from m. 10!)
- In m. 6 and 14 you put a courtesy Dn in the RH but not the LH. Just wanted to point that out, up to you what you want to do with it, if anything.
- m. 26 LH beat 2.5 sounds like an Eb instead of C. Makes sense too because parallel sixths.
- You could consider changing from 15ma to 8va at m. 19 instead of 23 to avoid ledger lines below the RH staff. But if you want to keep it at the section change, that's fine too.

Looks good otherwise!
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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #41 on: December 16, 2018, 06:05:20 PM »

I assume you're talking about the right hand in the first eight measures? I'm curious to know what you would have done. I usually use AudioOverload for my first draft when working with tracks like these, so that might be why the right hand line looks like filler (the way I see it, that's what that line is).
Yep, the intro. On closer inspection actually I think the original was a bit difficult to pick apart, and mostly it was the slurred harmonies in the left hand I found confusing. I'd have tried to include the harmonies with the right hand as much as possible.

This is just a sketch, ignoring trying to keep the lower layers together in any way. I didn't put too much thought in it, it stems from trying not to move the hands around a lot haha.
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You'd get to keep the harmonies on beats 3 and 6. But this looks kinda funny too, I guess, and you'd need to make sacrifices anyway past m. 9 when the main melody comes in.
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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #42 on: December 16, 2018, 06:20:23 PM »

Yug Guy

Game Start

You really put me through it for this one.

-The fifth 'chord' of bar 3: the Bn should be a Bb.
-The last 'chord' of bar 3: the Cn should be a C#.
-The fifth 'chord' of bar 4: the Fn should be an F#.
-There's a bit of an accel going in the pickup into bar 1 in the original.

Never make me review something like that again.

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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #43 on: December 16, 2018, 06:25:14 PM »

Cenwen:
totally your style of stuff

Melody and chords check out, just a couple of small comments.
- Overall it's pretty heavy but in measure 23 the texture lightens noticeably on beats 3 and 4 due to only including two out of three chord tones. It seems a bit contrary to the crescendo (past which the left hand lightens up), so maybe try playing with these two chords a bit?
- You might want to allow just a bit more room around your rolled chords specifically in m. 10 and 14.
- Probably should have fermata(s) in the LH too in the last measure.
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Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
« Reply #44 on: December 16, 2018, 06:37:28 PM »

Melody and chords check out, just a couple of small comments.
- Overall it's pretty heavy but in measure 23 the texture lightens noticeably on beats 3 and 4 due to only including two out of three chord tones. It seems a bit contrary to the crescendo (past which the left hand lightens up), so maybe try playing with these two chords a bit?
- You might want to allow just a bit more room around your rolled chords specifically in m. 10 and 14.
- Probably should have fermata(s) in the LH too in the last measure.

Done, done and done.  On the second point I've manually misaligned those quavers slightly to give it a little more space.

totally your style of stuff

What can I say, I like what I like. :P
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