[DC] Wacky Races - "Battle Theme" by ShyYoshiGuy

Started by Zeta, May 24, 2020, 02:55:36 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Wacky Races
Console: Dreamcast
Title: Battle Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: ShyYoshiGuy

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ShyYoshiGuy

#1
https://youtu.be/ZkWJ66uYvVI

I'm honestly not sure about this song's key signature. Same with this entire OST.

Edit: I've realized I should have asked these questions before submitting, sorry about that. On the subject of key signatures, is it bad form to not have one even though it might not technically be C Major/A Minor? Unless there's something I've missed, these sheets will have lots of accidentals in them no matter what signature you choose. This would probably be better asked on Discord.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
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Latios212

Hi! Sorry for not getting back to you earlier.

It looks like much of this piece tends to hang around either D tonality (take a look at the bass in m. 5-8 for example), and sometimes C (look at m. 34+). But yeah, there are a bunch of chromatic tones that make it a bit tricky. I would try putting this sheet in D minor (one flat) and seeing how that works out. I think some of the sharps that don't serves as chromatic passing tones or neighboring tones (like the C# and G# in m. 5 respectively) should be written as flats - particularly the A sharps.

That was based on just a couple of minutes looking at it, let me know if you need more help with that.
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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
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turtle

ShyYoshiGuy

Thank you for the feedback. And it seems that did cut down on the number of accidentals significantly, so nice. I've updated all the files accordingly. Tell me if I did something wrong in that process, as I'm not the most familiar with accidentals.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

ShyYoshiGuy

Ok, so, I've learned the entire piece on piano, and I've got something I don't know how to fix. Personally, I still prefer the version without any flats anywhere since it's less confusing. I'll attach that below so others can easily compare:

[MUS] [MUSX] (I still don't fully understand the difference between those two file types, so I've attached both just in case.)

^In that file I changed two things. First, the courtesy naturals in measures 16 & 20 (both staves). Second, it originally contained B# and E#, artifacts of the transposition process, whoops.

I'm sure there's a real music word for this that I don't know. Anyways, this piece repeats a group of notes in three different ways. D#, F, F#, G, and A#. Those notes are visible in measures 15-16 (both staves), 34-35 (bass), and 51-52 (bass). However, in its current state, the repeating section 34-35 uses Gb instead of F# on the way down (C C Eb C F C F# G Bb G C Gb C F C Eb). I chose Gb there since it neighbors G two notes before, and realizing it as F# forces the F two notes after to have a natural. I'm not sure which spelling is best.

However, I feel like all the notes are right, the only issue is how exactly to realize the black keys. Hopefully the sheet isn't far off from being submittable.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

ShyYoshiGuy

#5
As mentioned on Discord, I'd appreciate it if you verified the composer and company listings on the sheet before I move away about a week from now and lose access to my copy of the game. In the spoiler below are all instances I could find of possible composers and companies within the game and manual.

Images
Extracted from in-game credits:
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Title screen:
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Manual credits (names listed above contributions for some reason):
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Back of box:
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The rest are the game's opening screens before the game starts:
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Thank you, hopefully this information helps you in your endeavor.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

Libera

Sorry, for the wait, but I've now got feedback.  Hopefully this is helpful to you.



Quote from: ShyYoshiGuy on July 12, 2020, 07:38:04 AMAs mentioned on Discord, I'd appreciate it if you verified the composer and company listings on the sheet before I move away about a week from now and lose access to my copy of the game. In the spoiler below are all instances I could find of possible composers and companies within the game and manual.

So from what I can tell, I believe you've currently submitted this under the wrong game.  I can find Wacky Races games here and here which aren't for the dreamcast, whereas this game looks like it is this, entitled Wacky Races: Starring Dastardly and Muttley.  If that's right (which I believe it is), then the copyright is good.

For the composers, the only information we have to go off of is the pictures you sent which is fine, but I'd suggest calling them Marshall Parker and Gavin Parker rather than combining their surnames.  It's entirely possible that they're not family, after all.



Now, onto the feedback.  I'll break it down into sections to make it a little easier to follow.

Bars 1-3: You're missing bass notes on the hits at the start of each bar.  I'd also suggest moving the organ lines to the right hand and including the currently missing harmony on beat 4 (D+F).
Bar 4: This suggestion applies to most of the sheet, but I'd suggest bringing the LH down an octave here.
Bars 5-8: Again, bring the bass down an octave.  I'll stop mentioning it now, but basically bring the bass down an octave everywhere. You could also try adding in the organ line to the right hand if you wanted.
Bar 12: The Ans should be Cns.  Also you should rebeam this bar as it should be in standard 4/4 beaming.  (In this case, 4+2+2).
Bars 13-14+17-18: The bassline is completely different here, instead starting G G F F# etc.  I'd also suggest including the harmony Dns underneath the Bbs in the right hand.  Maybe Gns also.
Bar 18: Slightly annoying, but the first time round the last note in the RH is actually a G,  not a Bb.  It's a Bb the second time though.
Bars 21-24: You're missing some notes in the RH here, although admittedly they're not super easy to make out.  I'm hearing something like this (note the beaming):
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Also, for the left hand I'd suggest trying some kind of alternating octave pattern to differentiate the low piano notes from the lower bass notes that happen on every beat.
Bars 26-29: I'd try adding in the higher part here into the RH to try to differentiate this bit from 5-8, since they're different in this regard in the original.
Bars 30-34: Same comments as for 9-12.
Bars 34-41: You're missing harmony (C and Bb) on the growing trumpet chord.  Also, you might consider using some sort of tremolo effect in 35 to get the crescendo across.  I think it could sound pretty good.  It would also probably be a good idea to break the RH beam between beats 1.5 and 2 (and 3.5 and 4) here.
Bars 42-49: You're missing harmony again on trumpet parts (the (major) third and fifth above the note you currently have).  Also, the LH of bars 42,44 etc should start on the lower note.
Bar 50: Missing the bass playing here along with the previously mentioned harmony in RH.
Bars 51-52: Only thing here is that the bass should be an octave lower (as in everywhere else.)
Bars 57-72: Same comments as for 34-41 just with 65-72 a tone up.  You'll notice that you actually wrote the extra notes in at 65 and 69 separately.
Bars 73-80: Same comments as 9-12.
Bar 81-82: Missing bass in 82 and I'd double the line in 81 in the RH.  Also, you could cue in the vibraslap(?) on beat 1 of bar 82 if you wanted to.



More general comments.

-I'd suggest trying to use more articulations in a few places.  Some of the stabs could definitely benefit from accents/staccatos (like in bars 1-3, 16,20 etc.).
-The dynamics are pretty constant with this piece, but there are few places that would benefit from them.  The run in 81 could be at a quieter dynamic, and so could 21-25.  Also, if you add in the tremolo at 35 etc. then that would also want to place a crescendo there.
-The copyright/url isn't aligned to the margin.  Same with the page numbers and mini-titles.
-I would recommend against squishing 21-25 and 77-82 onto one system; it's very messy.
-There are a few other formatting concerns, but I'll leave those until we've sorted the rest out because the sheet will likely look different by then so it's not worth finalising now.



If there are things you can't do because of notepad then do say, although you did post an musx file so I'm not sure exactly what your situation is.

ShyYoshiGuy

Yay! Thank you for all the feedback, I'm gonna work on all this hopefully today or tomorrow. I'll kick this again when that happens.

For now though:
Quote from: Libera on July 12, 2020, 10:10:12 AMSo from what I can tell, I believe you've currently submitted this under the wrong game.  I can find Wacky Races games here and here which aren't for the dreamcast, whereas this game looks like it is this, entitled Wacky Races: Starring Dastardly and Muttley.  If that's right (which I believe it is), then the copyright is good.

Off to the right in the correct Wikipedia article, it says "Wacky Races Enhanced as Wacky Races: Starring Dastardly and Muttley". Only the PS2 sequel contains the "Starring Dastardly & Muttley" subtitle. Though I would understand including "(Sega Dreamcast)" since there are several other consoles with games of the same name.

Game Disc Box
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Quote from: Libera on July 12, 2020, 10:10:12 AMIf there are things you can't do because of notepad then do say, although you did post an musx file so I'm not sure exactly what your situation is.
I've got ten days left in my free trial.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

ShyYoshiGuy

Okie, I've updated it again. All of the things you suggested make the song sound cooler, so that's good. And I don't know what I did wrong with the ties and crescendos, but they don't sound right.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

Libera

#9
Changes look mostly good, but I've got more comments on the new version.

Quote from: ShyYoshiGuy on July 13, 2020, 11:36:44 AMI don't know what I did wrong with the ties and crescendos, but they don't sound right.

The ties don't sound right because the notes after the ties are not the same as the notes before the bar.  In terms of notation it looks correct, but you actually need to tell finale that the notes after the ties are actually the notes you want them to be.  The crescendos don't sound right because you never reset them, so it just keeps getting louder and louder.

-In the tremolo sections where you've used crescendos, I was actually thinking more something like this:

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You could also start the tremolo earlier if you wanted to, but this is just the simplest option notation wise.

Accidentals/Spellings:
-The A# in bars 13-14 should be a Bb.
-The F#s in 46-47, 50-51 should be Gbs.
-The G#s in 48-49, 52-56 should be Abs.
-In Gbs in 38-45, 57-68, would probably be better as F#s.  Same for the Abs in 69-76 (should be G#s).
-I'm not actually 100% certain myself on Ab vs G# in bars 1-8 so I'll try to get a second opinion on it.

-I would break the beam between the octave Dns and the organ line in bars 1-3.
-I suggest writing beat 1 of bars 26,28,29 RH as a crotchet (with a staccato mark if you want to).
-When I suggested including the organ line in bars 5-9 etc, this was what I was hearing:
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-You need to adjust the repeat markings so that they don't collide with the notes in 28-29.
-I suggest putting the LH down an octave in bars 1-3.  Same for the final bar.
-In terms of distribution for the entire sheet, this would be my suggestion:
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It's true that this messes up the hypermeter after bar 29, but it fixes itself by 53 and keeping so fixing it would require unfixing it again before 53.  The benefit from sticking to four bar systems in throughout is that the sheet looks far more even now due to the pretty much unchanging density of the left hand part.
-For the final two bars, here's a picture of what I was thinking (note that I've indented the final system to keep the density the same even at the end):
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If you would like a file with some, but not all, of the above edits, here it is [file].  It pretty much just has the changes used to create the pictures above, but there's still work for you to do on it.

ShyYoshiGuy

Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2020, 01:54:59 AMIf you would like a file with some, but not all, of the above edits, here it is [file].  It pretty much just has the changes used to create the pictures above, but there's still work for you to do on it.

^That link is one of E. Gadd's sheets. And uh, sorry for the delay, my notifs broke on me. My system's hopefully fixed now.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

Libera

Sorry, my mistake.  I've updated the link above with the correct file.  I put it as an .mus since I'm not sure whether you still have access to full finale.  If you do, here's an .musx.

ShyYoshiGuy

I've updated the sheet with those changes. (Only the .mus file currently.)

NotePad changes (Copy/pasting the tremolo parts ruined the spacing, unfortunately):
The systems should be grouped 5-6-6-5, not 6-7-7-2.
m. 41-44, 61-68, 73-76 aren't equally spaced.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

Libera

Here's a file with those edits.  I also changed the LH accidentals in 46-53 while I was doing it since you only changed the RH ones (I assume by accident).  I also reset the articulations and tidied up some of the dynamic placements.

If you're happy with this file I'll approve (don't worry about the musx for now if you can't export one.)

ShyYoshiGuy

I'm very happy with this sheet except for one small thing.

m. 26 (and similarly m. 28 & 29) is currently beamed like this:
Current
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From what I know, I think it should be this:
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NotePad allows me to make this change, so I've got the file ready if the latter is correct.

But yeah otherwise, ye, this sheet is cool.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!