[NDS] Pokémon Diamond Version & Pokémon Pearl Version - "Sandgem Town (Day)" (Replacement) by braix

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Diamond Version & Pokémon Pearl Version
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Sandgem Town (Day)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: braix


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

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[braix]

Original:

[Latios212]

Yay glad to see something from you again! Especially for one of the DPPt sheets that needs a replacement the most!

- Composer is Go Ichinose
- Remove the Pno. staff names
- I think it would make more sense to write the entire thing in E major instead of having a key change just for the two measures at the beginning and end
- Center articulations around the noteheads, not the stems. Lemme know if you need help finding that setting

LH:
- m. 4/12: remove the tied E, that's not very playable. I think that G# eighth note should be two 16th notes descending G#-E. Actually I think that G# is part of another layer but I think it's fine to keep here if you want.
- m. 4/12: last note should be E#
- En's in m. 5-6 should be E#s (same applies to m. 13-14)
- B in m. 6 should be C# (same applies to m. 14)
- In the ascent in m. 18 beat 4, E and A should be sharped
- Fn in m. 24 should be E#

RH:
- The chords at the beginning/end are fuller than the relatively open-sounding dyads you have written - try listening for the other pitches?
- Suggest writing the Fn in m. 3 as E#
- I don't hear the low E note on beat 2.25 in the upper layer, and it's not part of the main melody
- Last note in m. 4 misaligned
- m. 7 beat 2 lower layer - think that should be A instead of G#. Same for 15
- I'd suggest writing the run at the end of m. 10 as a 6-tuplet instead of two triplets
- The lone B in the lower layer of m. 11 should be G# instead
- The dyad you wrote in m. 14 isn't there like in m. 6 (where I think it might be Fn on top instead of F#?)
- Spell Cn at the end of 18 as B# (chromatically ascending to C# in the next measure)
- I think the second to last note in the lower layer in m. 20 sounds more like a Dn than an E. Were you confusing it with the bass E?

More to come about visual polish next time, mostly just looked over the notes for now

[braix]

Leaving this here while I work on making these changes


- I think it would make more sense to write the entire thing in E major instead of having a key change just for the two measures at the beginning and end
changed it all to Emaj for now but the amount of nat marks in those four measures are really messing with me, I'll keep it for now but idk i might prefer those to be a key change

- Center articulations around the noteheads, not the stems. Lemme know if you need help finding that setting

LH:
- B in m. 6 should be C# (same applies to m. 14)
listening to this over and over again I'm still hearing a B instead of a C#

RH:
- The chords at the beginning/end are fuller than the relatively open-sounding dyads you have written - try listening for the other pitches?

- I don't hear the low E note on beat 2.25 in the upper layer, and it's not part of the main melody

- The dyad you wrote in m. 14 isn't there like in m. 6 (where I think it might be Fn on top instead of F#?)
replaced it with a Fn-B for now

[Latios212]

- I think it would make more sense to write the entire thing in E major instead of having a key change just for the two measures at the beginning and end
changed it all to Emaj for now but the amount of nat marks in those four measures are really messing with me, I'll keep it for now but idk i might prefer those to be a key change

It's only two measures and even ends on the V chord, so even though it might look a little cleaner I don't think it makes sense to write in that key change especially since it doesn't stay in C for long. For someone else to advise if they have input, it looks to me like in E major, it goes Fmaj7 > Cmaj7 > B7sus4 > B > E

LH:
- B in m. 6 should be C# (same applies to m. 14)
listening to this over and over again I'm still hearing a B instead of a C#

I'm positive about this one. Maybe you're listening to the B in the upper layer instead? Raising it an octave makes the C# easier to hear.

[braix]

Updated, should be all good now. Used EQ to check all the pitches so they should be pretty accurate unless I missed a spot somewhere.

[Latios212]

Cool, edits look good! A few more things:

Visual stuff:
- Beat 2 (upper layer) of m. 6 and 14 should point upwards
- 16th rest in m. 11 is colliding with the beam (maybe move the beam down a bit)
- Raise the eighth rest in m. 19 so it doesn't touch the E
- Hidden eighth rests on beat 4 of m. 19, 21, 24 should be unhidden
- Upper layer m. 25 RH - split up to show beat 2
- Would recommend omitting the overlapping E in the lower layer of m. 26

Other stuff:
- Needs opening dynamic
- See this topic about text alignment and page margins

- The dyad you wrote in m. 14 isn't there like in m. 6 (where I think it might be Fn on top instead of F#?)

Check this for m. 6 as well as 14 - also looking again I think that might be better as an E# instead of Fn

[braix]

Made all the changes!


Some extra notes:

- Hidden eighth rests on beat 4 of m. 19, 21, 24 should be unhidden
Unhid all of these, but I'm not too sure about the positioning of the rests. m.21 was fine, but m. 19 and 24's rests overlapped with the notes so I repositioned them to be above. I wonder if that's fine or if I should have put them below layer 2 instead?

- Check this for m. 6 as well as 14 - also looking again I think that might be better as an E# instead of Fn
Fixed, also changed the dyad in m.6 to match the one in 14 (brought up the low B up an octave to make it simpler to play)

[Latios212]

- Hidden eighth rests on beat 4 of m. 19, 21, 24 should be unhidden
Unhid all of these, but I'm not too sure about the positioning of the rests. m.21 was fine, but m. 19 and 24's rests overlapped with the notes so I repositioned them to be above. I wonder if that's fine or if I should have put them below layer 2 instead?

Nope, moving those rests on beat 4 of m. 19/24 up a bit is perfect!

On the topic of the upper layer rests, I would advise raising some other ones a bit as they are a bit low and close to the staff or notes on the staff. Rather than listing out a bunch of beats/measures, here's a picture of ones I would suggest:

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You cannot view this attachment.

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Try raising them so they hover just above the staff instead of rest (ha) on it and see if you like how it looks.

You can also see in that screenshot that the music on top of page 2 is colliding with the page header. Move the music down on the page a bit and reduce the space between staves/systems a bit if you need.

Other things:
- m. 20 - the Dn in the lower layer is misaligned, presumably because a note in the upper layer that is no longer there clashed with it. Open the Note Position Tool from the Special Tools palette and right click to remove manual adjustments.
- Spacing is messed up in m. 25, just click on it when using the note entry tool and it should fix itself

[braix]

Fixed!
Note entry tool to automatically fix the spacing was so convenient why didn't I know about this earlier LMAO

[Latios212]

Awesome, the adjustments look good

Approving this one!

[mastersuperfan]

LH first:
- You might consider adding staccatos to some of the LH eighth notes where appropriate (some of them are short while some of them are held)
- In m3 LH, the 16th notes sound like D#'s instead of E's. (Same for m11)
- For m4 LH, I hear the first 16th note on beat 2 as a low E (same note as beat 1) instead of a high G#. (Same for m12)
- m4 LH beat 2.75 (last 16th note on beat 2) should be F# instead of G#. (Same for m12)
- m10 LH beat 4.5 should be E# instead of En. (Given this, you might want to put a courtesy natural on m11 LH beat 1 too)

RH Layer 1:
- In general, when working with multiple layers, the rests for each layer should be in-line with the other notes in that layer, or as close as comfortably possible. i.e. Finale is putting the Layer 1 rests too high/Layer 2 rests too low by default. I'd do something like this (subject to slight adjustments based on personal preference):

Spoiler

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- On beat 1 of m1/m26, I don't hear an Fn in the RH, but I do hear a Cn there instead. (same for m26)
- Courtesy sharp on the D# on beat 4 of m2 might be nice (Also beat 4.5 in LH too) (same for m27)
- Layer 1 beat 1 of m7 sounds like it should be held as a dotted quarter instead of just a quarter. Also Layer 1 beat 2.5 sounds like it could use a staccato.
- Layer 1 beat 1 of m8 should have a D# grace note in front.
- It might be nice to have two-note slurs in RH Layer 1 on m9 beat 4-4.5 and m10 beat 1-1.5 to better show the phrasing (i.e. first note held, second note staccato) (same for m17-18)
- m10 beat 2.5 is ambiguous because you have a staccato F# in Layer 1 and a tied F# in Layer 2. I would either remove the staccato from Layer 1 or remove the F# from Layer 2, depending on how you want the F# to be played. Actually, the melody sounds like it's held too, not staccato, so I would just delete the tied F#'s from Layer 2 and rewrite them in Layer 1 (i.e. like how you have it in m18).
- The run at the end of m10 should just be an upward scale starting from E with eight 32nd notes.
- In m5, you use an 8th-note grace note, but in m16, you use a 16th-note grace note. Change one of them to be consistent with the other.
- For m16, I would suggest tying beat 1 over to beat 2 as well instead of having a rest on beat 2.
- Also, for m16, the F# on beat 1.25 belongs to Layer 2, not Layer 1.
- On Layer 1 beat 4.25 of m18, there's a D# that you're missing (i.e. rhythm there should be four 16ths, with the second one as a D#, instead of 8th-16th-16th)

RH Layer 2:
- On m3 beat 2, I don't hear an E. However, I do hear a G#, and replacing the E with G# would also be much easier to play. (same for m11)
- There are also G#'s on beats 1-1.5 of m4. You might consider adding them, or, if you don't like suddenly having triads in the RH, you might consider changing the B's to G#'s. Or, you could keep it as is. (same with the quarter note in m12)
- For m4, not sure why you have two 16th rests on beat 2 and one is hidden. It should just be an 8th rest, and then there can be a single 8th rest on beat 2 for both layers.
- I don't hear a Layer 2 note on m4 beat 3.5. (i.e. like in m12)
- m5 beat 2 sounds like A-C# instead of C#-E.
- For beats 1-1.5 of m6, you could add notes under the eighth notes you have to make dyads (G# and F#, respectively)
- Cn in m7 should be written as B# (same with m15)
- Hard to tell for sure but I think m10 beat 1 sounds more like an A on the bottom instead of a B
- m10 beat 3.5 sounds like E instead of F#
- Lower note on m13 beat 2 should be G# instead of A
- You might consider putting B# and C# under the G# and A on beat 4 of m13, but this might be tricky to play.
- You have a staccato on m6 beat 2.75 but not on m14 beat 2.75.
- There's a Cn eighth note on beat 2 of m18, under the E.
- m19 beat 2.75 should be A instead of B.
- There's a B on beat 4.25 of m21 where you currently have a rest, but I'm assuming it's left out for the sake of playability. That said, I would write the A on beat 4 as a staccato 8th rather than a 16th + rest.
- I would show the rest on beat 3 of m23.

[Libera]

Bump for arranger.

[Libera]

Bump for arranger (x2).

[braix]

LH:
- For m4 LH, I hear the first 16th note on beat 2 as a low E (same note as beat 1) instead of a high G#. (Same for m12)
I'm still hearing the high G# super clearly, it's possible it might not be the bassline, but still wanted to include it because it sounded prominent to me


RH Layer 2:
- You might consider putting B# and C# under the G# and A on beat 4 of m13, but this might be tricky to play.
I added an E# and F# instead, it's not faithful to the original notes but it's easier to play while preserving some of that feel, I think. I'd probably either want to go with this or just single notes.
- m19 beat 2.75 should be A instead of B.
Also added in the Dn in beat 3.75. It jumps down to the A in the original while in this arrangement it moves up, but for the sake of playability I don't think that can be helped. Would rather keep in the Dn anyway to preserve the rhythmic motion in the RH