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[NES] Shadowgate - "Twilight" by Atcero

Started by Zeta, July 08, 2021, 05:43:58 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Shadowgate
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Twilight
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Atcero

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Atcero

Tfw you forget you have like 4 songs in the backlog
Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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Kricketune54

#2
I think I remember this from Discord!  Here's some stuff

-the rhythm you have at measure 2 and throughout is incorrect, you have the second note of the rhythm a little too early.  Should be staccato quarter on beat 1, followed by half note tied to beat 4.0.
-m3 RH beat 1 should be a quarter rather than a dotted quarter.  There's space between the C and the Bb on beat 2.5
-I could be wrong, but I think staccatos are redundant on both sixteenths and on held notes like LH m1 beat 1. 
-m4, the G should carry through the measure.  Beat 1 is correct, but beat 2-4 should be a dotted half (the G).  The same applies at m8, m16, m20, m24 (maybe missing some as well)
-m12, same deal as above.
-m14 if my (limited) understanding of music theory is right, these should be Ab's in the LH.  This piece is in C major, so those would be flats in this case.
-m17-22 the LH should be down an octave
-m23-24 LH: the A# should be a Bb, and the C naturals you have should be Bb's.  The C#'s in last measure should be B naturals... I think (sorry i'm not definitive on this, again my music theory  :'( ).  If I'm wrong, they're Cb's haha

This is a little weird, and what I picked up on repeated listens: RH's m3 beat 1 is short the first time through, but is a dotted quarter the second time.  The reverse can be said of m7.  Not earth shattering, but maybe in that case you want to write this out a little differently without repeats (though maybe a performance note will do, updaters?)

I've attached a .mus with the fixed rhythm for m2 and m6, as well as fixed formatting.

Atcero

I fixed the beat for those measures in the RH but we already discussed what it was in discord lol.

You are right on the accidentals and I changed em all cause they go to dorian mode for all of the minor parts it seems, so I also changed the 2nd ending right hand. File should be all updated but I did not use your mus file.
Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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[close]

mastersuperfan

- Could you move the dynamic in m1 a bit to the left so that it's centered with the noteheads on beat 1, and also a little down so that it's equally spaced between the staves?
- In m2 RH and similar measures: specifically notating that a note should be held for 0.75 beats and released 0.25 beats before the next note is not a great use of notation in a piano arrangement. Explicitly writing note durations to that level of granularity (which is difficult to follow precisely) really just introduces more clutter than it helps. So I would very strongly recommend just writing these as eighth notes followed by eighth rests.
- In m1-8 LH: you don't need staccatos on the 16th notes on beat 1.75. Those notes are already short by nature of being 16th notes. It's usually unnecessary to include staccatos on 16th notes in general except in exceptional cases or at slow tempos.
- In m4/8/etc. RH, you can write that as a dotted half starting on beat 2. It's simple enough that there's no need to show beat 3.
- m5: extra mf (copy/paste?) that should be deleted.
- m9-24: the LH is pretty boring as just straight eighth notes like in the original. This is a situation where I would strongly recommend writing the LH as alternating octaves (low-high-low-high) instead of just the same note over and over again.
- The LH in m9-24 might also use staccatos on every note.
- m17: could you move the "2." to the left so that it's around the left side/center of the notehead, instead of being all the way to the right where it is now?
- Measure distribution is weird... m9-12 are in one system but then m13-16 are split over two systems. I would recommend one of the following: (1) m9-24 all in four measures/system (a bit more cramped but preserves hypermeter and consistency) vs. (2) m9-12 as a four-measure system and m13-24 all with three measures/system (less cramped).
- With either measure distribution (but especially if you pick the first option), you might also consider spacing out the systems more to reduce the amount of empty space on the second page. If you click on the Staff Tool, double-click on the box on the treble clef in the first system, and drag downward, you can spread out all the systems more and make it so that there are only four systems on the first page (evenly spaced throughout) instead of five, with the fifth system being pushed onto the second page. If you picked the first measure distribution, you would have a single system on the second page if you didn't respace, which is very much not preferable.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Atcero

Updated it all and hopefully it looks good, thanks for the formatting help! We discussed the bass previously and as I said ill be keeping it (for this OST only probably)
Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

Spoiler
[close]

mastersuperfan

Discussed the following changes with Atcero over Discord:
- Removed stray staccato in m3 LH
- Spaced the systems on the first page out even further
- Added staccatos to the LH in m9-24
- Added staccato to m3/7/etc. RH beat 4.5
- Repositioned dynamic in m1
- Fixed repeat playback
- Fixed page number font size

The following still need fixing, which Atcero will do tomorrow:
- m22-24 need to be raised an octave
- m24 LH beat 4-4.5 should be Bn instead of C
- The flat on m12 RH beat 3 isn't displaying for some reason
- The note spacing is slightly off (at least on my end) - highlighting all measures and going to Utilities > Music Spacing > Apply Note Spacing to Current Part/Score will fix it.

Pending these minor fixes, I'll give my conditional approval for this sheet so that another updater can check it.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Libera

I can't see anything that hasn't already been mentioned.  Happy to accept when the above changes are made (I also need to reset the articulations after msf touched the file).

Atcero

I believe I updated everything that needed to be, thank you guys so much!
Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

Spoiler
[close]

Libera

Cool.  I've reset the articulations.  Since you fixed everything that msf mentioned I'll accept now.

Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot