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[MOB] Fire Emblem Heroes - "Climb the Sky" by Code_Name_Geek

Started by Zeta, February 13, 2022, 01:20:29 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Fire Emblem
Game: Fire Emblem Heroes
Console: Mobile
Title: Climb the Sky
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Code_Name_Geek

[attachment deleted by admin]

Code_Name_Geek

#1

Some notes:
-There are a few chords in the left hand that I'm not sure about, especially around m. 17-20/42-45 and 25-29/50-54
-I haven't put a key signature yet since I'm not sure what to use, I thought maybe D minor but there's some parts that appear to be in D major?

Kricketune54

Take this with a grain of salt, but I think you want to keep this keyless.  F# G C B seems to be the note progression of the dominant string part in the opening four bars... to me it seems like keeping it keyless is the best way to accommodate the chords but I will not pretend to be an expert on music theory at all lol.

It seems like what you put for m17-20/42-45  works chordwise.  I don't think it's wrong with the way these are

-m10 the ascending 16th line I hear is C-D-E-F up to G rather than F-G-A-Bb to C
-m11 these eighth rests in the RH can move up to the normal rest position
-m12 not sure I actually hear a G in there, I would replace the G in the LH at least with an A
-The rhythm that starts at m17... I'm not really hearing a 16th note repeating the note falling on beat 1.66 (the A eighth note).  To me it sounds more like either a 16th rest pause or that the D should be a quarter note.  This feedback applies for all other instances of the rhythm
-Small suggestion with the RH second layer rests from m30 on - these could move up, but if you prefer where they are so they maybe don't get obscured
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-m56 RH 2nd layer I think A is heard/fits better than B here

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 15, 2022, 08:34:09 AMTake this with a grain of salt, but I think you want to keep this keyless.  F# G C B seems to be the note progression of the dominant string part in the opening four bars... to me it seems like keeping it keyless is the best way to accommodate the chords but I will not pretend to be an expert on music theory at all lol.
Yeah I was wondering if that might not be the best option... still open to hearing feedback on this but I'll keep it keyless for now.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 15, 2022, 08:34:09 AM-m10 the ascending 16th line I hear is C-D-E-F up to G rather than F-G-A-Bb to C
Gosh darn fifths get me every time lol. In retrospect, I did know the second one was higher and still somehow missed that. *facepalm*

Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 15, 2022, 08:34:09 AM-The rhythm that starts at m17... I'm not really hearing a 16th note repeating the note falling on beat 1.66 (the A eighth note).  To me it sounds more like either a 16th rest pause or that the D should be a quarter note.  This feedback applies for all other instances of the rhythm
To be honest it sounds like it's rearticulated to me, but both the family members I asked agreed that it wasn't so I think my ears are playing tricks on me. I am pretty confident the first note is a dotted eighth, though, it matches the previous rhythm from m. 5-12 (but legato this time). Hopefully what I have works better then.

Everything else I took your suggestions as well. Thanks so much for taking a look!!

Kricketune54

#4
Yeah I slowed down m17 on my end and I wasn't hearing a repeat of the pitch.  I still hear the A in that phrase hold on for a tiny bit longer than the previous note, more like this:
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-The spacing of m10 is a little off with the second layer, perhaps make it a bit like this:
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-m55 and similar ( m56, and 59-60), I hear an En grace note on the D of beat 2.33.
-m59-60 RH hearing this a little more prominently in m59, but not hearing m60 the same way
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-m63, while the E is the most prominent, I hear a D on top instead of an E because that prominent E is technically the one on the bottom of this cluster.  Beat 2.0 of m64 I actually hear as a C# rather than a D, with an A underneath it
-Also at m63 I do not hear a G in the RH, I think it's just D-B-E

QuoteThanks so much for taking a look!!
Definitely!

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 16, 2022, 07:54:02 AMYeah I slowed down m17 on my end and I wasn't hearing a repeat of the pitch.  I still hear the A in that phrase hold on for a tiny bit longer than the previous note, more like this:
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Ah yeah, I had considered tying it before too, so I'm ok changing it to that.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 16, 2022, 07:54:02 AM-The spacing of m10 is a little off with the second layer, perhaps make it a bit like this:
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Man Finale really likes changing my spacing back every time I edit measures, fixed lol.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 16, 2022, 07:54:02 AM-m59-60 RH hearing this a little more prominently in m59, but not hearing m60 the same way
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Revenge of the 5ths. Fixed.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 16, 2022, 07:54:02 AM[/spoiler]-m63, while the E is the most prominent, I hear a D on top instead of an E because that prominent E is technically the one on the bottom of this cluster.  Beat 2.0 of m64 I actually hear as a C# rather than a D, with an A underneath it
Oh yeah, that makes sense. Now I'm wondering if the lead-up in the measure before should be different as well, but I can't quite tell...

Got the other few things as well. Thanks again!

Libera

Sorry for the wait on this.  This is a kind of tricky piece.  I've thought about doing it a few times but avoided it because there are a bunch of things that make putting it on piano awkward.  Not that it isn't doable, but it needs a fair bit of attention.  With that in mind, there is a lot of feedback here, and there will probably be a fair amount more to come after changes have been made.  Still, it's a very good start!  Anyway, feedback.

-I think this should be written in Dm rather than keyless.  The chord progressions and melody all match Dm, sometimes borrowing D major.  The only bit where the key really changes is in bar 55 where it goes to Bm, but even this section quickly resolves back in Dm from bar 61.
-I think the rhythm of the ostinato is slightly different in bars 2/4 etc. where it also plays on beat 1.5, but this simplification is probably fine.
-I feel like the eight note chords in bar 12 a bit much.  What about just octaves in the left hand?  Or just the bottom D and the A?  You will get a more balanced texture this way.
-In bar 25-29 the chosen accompaniment pattern becomes a bit of a problem because it forces the bass too high really.  It loses a lot of the impact this way.  One way to get around this would be to omit the chord on beat 1 so that the bass can play at the correct octave, and then jump up for the next hit.  Another option would be to move stuff into the right hand.  There are also probably other solutions (maybe a combination of the two).
-I don't think spacing out the staves to such an extent in the third system of the second page looks very good, and it isn't really necessary either.  You can just use a 'cresc.' marking rather than a hairpin in bar 28 and you can keep the spacing exactly the same.  If you really want a hairpin instead, then I'd recommend messing around with the beam heights so that you can get the staff separation down a little; it looks a little silly at the moment.
-The bass on beat 5 of bar 29 sounds like an E to me rather than a C#.
-The melody in bar 31 sounds the same as in bar 35 to me.  It would also be a lot less awkward to play.
-I feel like in bar 30 onwards we're overcomplicating things.  It looks like you have tried to put in everything you possibly can, but this leads to the arrangement looking quite messy and not particularly natural to play on piano.  My suggestion would be to first focus on the parts that really matter.  I would say those are the bass and the melody 99% of the time, and I think it's true here as well.  We can write the bass part in verbatim, so why not do that.  Then think about ways to 'beef' it up whilst staying natural (this is not always easy), rather than finding more and more parts to add in.  It seems like you want to have this part that you've written in the second layer of the right hand, and I can see why, but you should try to make sure it makes sense.  (Maybe it can go in the left hand rather than the right hand?  I can think of a few ways of making that work).  I'm happy to elaborate on any of this if you want, just let me know.
-In bars 30/32/34 etc. it sounds like the A comes in on beat 3, not on beat 2.5 like in the previous section.
-The G on beat 4.5 in bar 33/37 sounds like it should come in on beat 4.
-In bar 37, it sounds like the first three notes of the right hand should be a third up, i.e. C -> Bb -> A -> G.
-In contrast to 30-37, 38+ feels too sparse.  I think we can introduce some harmony for the right hand to play here (which may mean less has to go into the left hand, but there should still be more overall).  In bar 36 we get even more harmony parts added in, but the sheet looks exactly the same.  It would be nice for there to be some kind of buildup.
-50-54 has a very unbalanced texture.  We have this single melody line up top supported by a very muddy and low accompaniment.  The standard way to fix these sorts of things is to move harmony from the left hand to the right hand (but we should also try to be somewhat consistent with what happened to bars 38-49).
-In bar 54 there is a slightly odd choice of harmony.  I think it might make more sense to have an A and an E underneath the RH, rather than the B-> C#.  It would probably also be easier to play if they weren't in the ostinato rhythm, but were just held instead (the left hand will be doing that rhythm anyway).
-I hear the chords changing more often in bars 55+.  I think it goes something like G -> A -> D -> Bm7 -> Em7 -> A -> Bm7 (those are the first four bars).
-Again, the left hand gets kind of heavy in this section (whereas the original still sounds pretty light throughout).  I would avoid writing in any of these low triads and instead focus on just the bass notes or maybe also the fifth.  You can fill out the harmony in the right hand and it will still sound light.
-The melody gets kind of obscured in this section, particularly in bar 62-63, and I think it might be better to just keep the melody on top there.  I think it will be a little easier to follow aurally, anyway.
-I think it might be a better idea to use three 3 bar systems rather than a 5 bar system since you have the space to do that without going to an extra page.  (To be honest I think it would be better even if it meant you had to go to an extra page).  This applies to 21-29, and 46-54.

Hopefully that is useful, and let me know if you need me to clarify or elaborate on anything.

Libera

Bump for arranger.  I appreciate it's a lot of feedback so if it's easier for you, just work in chunks.  You don't have to update everything at once.

Code_Name_Geek

#8
So sorry this took so long, I had some irl stuff happen and couldn't get to it until recently. I did my best to address all the feedback so far, but there are still some rough parts that probably need addressing.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-I think this should be written in Dm rather than keyless.  The chord progressions and melody all match Dm, sometimes borrowing D major.  The only bit where the key really changes is in bar 55 where it goes to Bm, but even this section quickly resolves back in Dm from bar 61.
Yeah this makes sense, done.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-I think the rhythm of the ostinato is slightly different in bars 2/4 etc. where it also plays on beat 1.5, but this simplification is probably fine.
Listening to it I hear what you mean, but I think it would be too unwieldy on piano so leaving it simplified seems like the better option.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-I feel like the eight note chords in bar 12 a bit much.  What about just octaves in the left hand?  Or just the bottom D and the A?  You will get a more balanced texture this way.
Makes sense. I like the 5th better than the octave so that's what I used.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-In bar 25-29 the chosen accompaniment pattern becomes a bit of a problem because it forces the bass too high really.  It loses a lot of the impact this way.  One way to get around this would be to omit the chord on beat 1 so that the bass can play at the correct octave, and then jump up for the next hit.  Another option would be to move stuff into the right hand.  There are also probably other solutions (maybe a combination of the two).
I did what you suggested with beat 1, replacing that chord with a chord in the right hand.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-I don't think spacing out the staves to such an extent in the third system of the second page looks very good, and it isn't really necessary either.  You can just use a 'cresc.' marking rather than a hairpin in bar 28 and you can keep the spacing exactly the same.  If you really want a hairpin instead, then I'd recommend messing around with the beam heights so that you can get the staff separation down a little; it looks a little silly at the moment.
Changing the accompaniment parts actually solved this issue, will keep it in mind for other parts though.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-The bass on beat 5 of bar 29 sounds like an E to me rather than a C#.
Fixed.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-The melody in bar 31 sounds the same as in bar 35 to me.  It would also be a lot less awkward to play.
Yeah I think you're right, also fixed.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-I feel like in bar 30 onwards we're overcomplicating things.  It looks like you have tried to put in everything you possibly can, but this leads to the arrangement looking quite messy and not particularly natural to play on piano.  My suggestion would be to first focus on the parts that really matter.  I would say those are the bass and the melody 99% of the time, and I think it's true here as well.  We can write the bass part in verbatim, so why not do that.  Then think about ways to 'beef' it up whilst staying natural (this is not always easy), rather than finding more and more parts to add in.  It seems like you want to have this part that you've written in the second layer of the right hand, and I can see why, but you should try to make sure it makes sense.  (Maybe it can go in the left hand rather than the right hand?  I can think of a few ways of making that work).  I'm happy to elaborate on any of this if you want, just let me know.
This was a hard section to tackle, but I've made some changes and it sounds a lot lighter now with the melody more prominent. The second layer has been mostly moved to the left hand, with a few parts in the right hand at the end of measures. The ostinato chords have been mostly removed since the rhythm is present in other parts, so it sounds complete enough without it imo. I'm aware that in performance the player will probably lift the bass notes on beat 1 early to play the accompaniment, but I thought writing that in would make it look too complicated? Let me know if you have any further suggestions.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-In bars 30/32/34 etc. it sounds like the A comes in on beat 3, not on beat 2.5 like in the previous section.
-The G on beat 4.5 in bar 33/37 sounds like it should come in on beat 4.
-In bar 37, it sounds like the first three notes of the right hand should be a third up, i.e. C -> Bb -> A -> G.
Fixed all of these as well.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-In contrast to 30-37, 38+ feels too sparse.  I think we can introduce some harmony for the right hand to play here (which may mean less has to go into the left hand, but there should still be more overall).  In bar 36 we get even more harmony parts added in, but the sheet looks exactly the same.  It would be nice for there to be some kind of buildup.
I did my best to add some harmony, but I'm not so sure about some of these parts. Thoughts?

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-50-54 has a very unbalanced texture.  We have this single melody line up top supported by a very muddy and low accompaniment.  The standard way to fix these sorts of things is to move harmony from the left hand to the right hand (but we should also try to be somewhat consistent with what happened to bars 38-49).
Honestly this section sounded really bad when I came back to it, I'm not sure what I was doing when I arranged it. I moved some stuff around and hopefully it's a bit better.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-In bar 54 there is a slightly odd choice of harmony.  I think it might make more sense to have an A and an E underneath the RH, rather than the B-> C#.  It would probably also be easier to play if they weren't in the ostinato rhythm, but were just held instead (the left hand will be doing that rhythm anyway).
Because I ended up moving the G from the LH to the RH the ostinato rhythm is still there, but I took it out of the part with the run and omitted the B and the C# entirely. The E is now covered by the LH instead.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-I hear the chords changing more often in bars 55+.  I think it goes something like G -> A -> D -> Bm7 -> Em7 -> A -> Bm7 (those are the first four bars).
-Again, the left hand gets kind of heavy in this section (whereas the original still sounds pretty light throughout).  I would avoid writing in any of these low triads and instead focus on just the bass notes or maybe also the fifth.  You can fill out the harmony in the right hand and it will still sound light.
Yeah you're probably right, I usually have trouble with chords. The low triads did sound muddy so I tried to move the harmony notes to the RH and leave only the roots and 5ths in the LH.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-The melody gets kind of obscured in this section, particularly in bar 62-63, and I think it might be better to just keep the melody on top there.  I think it will be a little easier to follow aurally, anyway.
Moved the accompaniment below the melody, seems to work ok.

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-I think it might be a better idea to use three 3 bar systems rather than a 5 bar system since you have the space to do that without going to an extra page.  (To be honest I think it would be better even if it meant you had to go to an extra page).  This applies to 21-29, and 46-54.
Done.

Thanks so much for the feedback, it's really helpful. I definitely see why this piece is so difficult now, and perhaps a little bit above my skill level. I should be able to answer quicker than I did this time at least :-\

EDIT: Since I changed so much, here's a link to the old .musx file for posterity.

Libera

No worries about the wait.  I'm happy that you had the time to go through all my feedback.  It's looking a lot better now!

Quote from: Libera on April 17, 2022, 09:41:02 AM-The G on beat 4.5 in bar 33/37 sounds like it should come in on beat 4.

You've moved this to start on beat 5 now rather than beat 4.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on July 10, 2022, 04:58:39 PMBecause I ended up moving the G from the LH to the RH the ostinato rhythm is still there, but I took it out of the part with the run and omitted the B and the C# entirely. The E is now covered by the LH instead.

I don't see an E anywhere in this bar now.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on July 10, 2022, 04:58:39 PMThis was a hard section to tackle, but I've made some changes and it sounds a lot lighter now with the melody more prominent. The second layer has been mostly moved to the left hand, with a few parts in the right hand at the end of measures. The ostinato chords have been mostly removed since the rhythm is present in other parts, so it sounds complete enough without it imo. I'm aware that in performance the player will probably lift the bass notes on beat 1 early to play the accompaniment, but I thought writing that in would make it look too complicated? Let me know if you have any further suggestions.

This looks better definitely, although I think it could still look a bit clearer./less awkward  Have you considered writing the left hand part out in just one layer?  I think it could look pretty sensible/readable in this way, and alongside some minor simplifications I think it could be really great.  Something like this:
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Ignoring articulations and the right hand (what you can see of it) this is meant to be bar 34's left hand written out how it currently is on the left, and how I am suggesting on the right.  I guess the guiding principle for this style of accompaniment is 'get the bass notes in on beats 1 and 4, and then be free to jump away to the more interesting stuff when needed'.  If you like how that looks then I'd suggest trying it out on the rest of the left hand here.  (Note that this doesn't mean I think it's a good idea to always merge layers together for the left hand, and I think it works fine for all of the other parts in the sheet).

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on July 10, 2022, 04:58:39 PMI did my best to add some harmony, but I'm not so sure about some of these parts. Thoughts?

Again this looks better, but could be a little more consistent.  In 38-45 you use one note harmonies, and mostly in 46-54 you use two note harmonies, but occasionally 3 (in bar 47) and 1 (in 54).  The extra note in 47 is definitely unnecessary (just remove the D or Bb) and you can add the E in for 54 (as mentioned above).  In terms of actual notes though.
-The E is more important in the RH than the A or C in bar 48 (since it isn't doubled in the left hand).
-I think instead of doubling the melody in bar 44 you could do something more like in 52, probably just the D.
-Not actually note related but watch the beams in bars 41/49.  They're colliding/almost colliding.
-The run in bar 41 sounds to me like G A Bb C (like in bar 54 but without the C#).
-I would move the rests in bars 38/46 up off the staff.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on July 10, 2022, 04:58:39 PMYeah you're probably right, I usually have trouble with chords. The low triads did sound muddy so I tried to move the harmony notes to the RH and leave only the roots and 5ths in the LH.
Moved the accompaniment below the melody, seems to work ok.

-It would be nice to get the 7 sound in bar 58, so maybe change the RH second layer Bs to Ans.
-Next bars sound like G -> A -> D -> Bm7 -> Bm7 -> Dm/G -> Dm/F -> E7sus4 -> Asus4 -> A.  So it would be nice to have As on beat 4 of bar 60 and beat 1 of bar 61, Ds in bar 62 and an An in bar 63.
-The melody and the harmony are the wrong way around in bars 61-62.  It should go up to the Fn on beat 61 from the E and so on.  I think maybe my previous comment was confusing, but I was only referring there to the swap that occurred at the end of bar 62 going into bar 63.  61 was right as you had it before (although see above for more harmony).



There are a few other miscellaneous presentation things that I could mention but since this will definitely need another look from me anyway I'll probably just keep this post shorter (I know I have a habit of making these posts look too intimidating).  Let me know if you need any clarifications on anything.  (Oh and thank you for posting the old version, it was very useful for me because it's been a while since I looked at this!)

Code_Name_Geek

Back again with more edits.

Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2022, 11:16:11 AMYou've moved this to start on beat 5 now rather than beat 4.
Whoops, 6/8 sometimes messes me up with beat labels. Fixed!

Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2022, 11:16:11 AMI don't see an E anywhere in this bar now.
I must have changed that after typing that part of the response... added it back in lol.

Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2022, 11:16:11 AMThis looks better definitely, although I think it could still look a bit clearer./less awkward  Have you considered writing the left hand part out in just one layer?  I think it could look pretty sensible/readable in this way, and alongside some minor simplifications I think it could be really great.  Something like this:
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You cannot view this attachment.
[close]
Ignoring articulations and the right hand (what you can see of it) this is meant to be bar 34's left hand written out how it currently is on the left, and how I am suggesting on the right.  I guess the guiding principle for this style of accompaniment is 'get the bass notes in on beats 1 and 4, and then be free to jump away to the more interesting stuff when needed'.  If you like how that looks then I'd suggest trying it out on the rest of the left hand here.  (Note that this doesn't mean I think it's a good idea to always merge layers together for the left hand, and I think it works fine for all of the other parts in the sheet).
That does look a lot easier to read. I did the whole section like you suggested and it sounds a little emptier, but realistically it's probably closer to how it would be played anyways. Hopefully this works better!

Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2022, 11:16:11 AMAgain this looks better, but could be a little more consistent.  In 38-45 you use one note harmonies, and mostly in 46-54 you use two note harmonies, but occasionally 3 (in bar 47) and 1 (in 54).  The extra note in 47 is definitely unnecessary (just remove the D or Bb) and you can add the E in for 54 (as mentioned above).  In terms of actual notes though.
-The E is more important in the RH than the A or C in bar 48 (since it isn't doubled in the left hand).
-I think instead of doubling the melody in bar 44 you could do something more like in 52, probably just the D.
-Not actually note related but watch the beams in bars 41/49.  They're colliding/almost colliding.
-The run in bar 41 sounds to me like G A Bb C (like in bar 54 but without the C#).
-I would move the rests in bars 38/46 up off the staff.
All these should be fixed.

Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2022, 11:16:11 AM-It would be nice to get the 7 sound in bar 58, so maybe change the RH second layer Bs to Ans.
-Next bars sound like G -> A -> D -> Bm7 -> Bm7 -> Dm/G -> Dm/F -> E7sus4 -> Asus4 -> A.  So it would be nice to have As on beat 4 of bar 60 and beat 1 of bar 61, Ds in bar 62 and an An in bar 63.
-The melody and the harmony are the wrong way around in bars 61-62.  It should go up to the Fn on beat 61 from the E and so on.  I think maybe my previous comment was confusing, but I was only referring there to the swap that occurred at the end of bar 62 going into bar 63.  61 was right as you had it before (although see above for more harmony).
These as well. You're right, I had gotten totally confused with the melody and harmony in 61-62, but that should be fixed with the harmony added in.

Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2022, 11:16:11 AMThere are a few other miscellaneous presentation things that I could mention but since this will definitely need another look from me anyway I'll probably just keep this post shorter (I know I have a habit of making these posts look too intimidating).  Let me know if you need any clarifications on anything.  (Oh and thank you for posting the old version, it was very useful for me because it's been a while since I looked at this!)
No problem, I try to post the old versions whenever I significantly rework an arrangement. I did my best to clean up a few things presentation-wise but I'm sure there's some I've missed. Thank you for your patience!

Libera

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on August 05, 2022, 05:52:10 PMThat does look a lot easier to read. I did the whole section like you suggested and it sounds a little emptier, but realistically it's probably closer to how it would be played anyways. Hopefully this works better!

The midi playback sounds emptier, but the previous way it was written wasn't really playable to have all of the notes held down and so the playback sounded fuller than it really could be in reality.  I think this is a lot better now!

The only thing I would ask about this now is whether the extra notes on beat 3.5 of bar 30/34 are really necessary.  You don't write them in afterwards and they make it a lot harder to play.

Also, I think the thirds in bar 33 are a third too high.  I don't think it's the same as in 37.

Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2022, 11:16:11 AMThere are a few other miscellaneous presentation things that I could mention but since this will definitely need another look from me anyway I'll probably just keep this post shorter (I know I have a habit of making these posts look too intimidating).  Let me know if you need any clarifications on anything.  (Oh and thank you for posting the old version, it was very useful for me because it's been a while since I looked at this!)

Now let's do this.

-Double barline after bar 4?
-Can we be more consistent with the rest placement in bars 30-35?  Having them all lower is probably better.
-I'm not a huge fan of the stem swapping in bars 30/34.  Maybe flip beat 3 up?
-Watch the augmentation dots in 63-64.  They're currently colliding/overlapping.

Hopefully that's everything!

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Libera on August 11, 2022, 10:05:56 AMThe only thing I would ask about this now is whether the extra notes on beat 3.5 of bar 30/34 are really necessary.  You don't write them in afterwards and they make it a lot harder to play.
I had those on those 4 bars only because the bassline changes for the next 4 and doesn't play them, but I'm ok simplifying it to be easier to play. I did it for the whole 30-34 to keep it consistent.

Quote from: Libera on August 11, 2022, 10:05:56 AMAlso, I think the thirds in bar 33 are a third too high.  I don't think it's the same as in 37.
Done.

Quote from: Libera on August 11, 2022, 10:05:56 AM-Double barline after bar 4?
-Can we be more consistent with the rest placement in bars 30-35?  Having them all lower is probably better.
-I'm not a huge fan of the stem swapping in bars 30/34.  Maybe flip beat 3 up?
-Watch the augmentation dots in 63-64.  They're currently colliding/overlapping.
-Added.
-Oh those were totally all over the place, fixed.
-Done.
-Moved the dots over to line up with the 2nd voice dots, is that how it's supposed to look?

As always, thanks for the feedback!

Libera

I think that all looks great now.  The only thing I have left to mention is that maybe you might want some courtesy accidentals in 55+.  Particularly bits like 60 -> 61 where you have the F# right next to the Fn.  You don't have to go overboard but I'd just check for yourself that you're happy with all of the accidentals there.

Anyway, I won't let that hold off my approval.  Good work!

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Libera on August 20, 2022, 04:37:07 AMI think that all looks great now.  The only thing I have left to mention is that maybe you might want some courtesy accidentals in 55+.  Particularly bits like 60 -> 61 where you have the F# right next to the Fn.  You don't have to go overboard but I'd just check for yourself that you're happy with all of the accidentals there.
The one spot that seemed to need it was m. 61, so added.