[DELETED] [SW] Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition - "Gran Dell" by Zanza

Started by Zeta, January 30, 2023, 12:21:49 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Xeno
Game: Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Gran Dell
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Zanza


Zanza

There are some things I can't change, like the positioning of the rests, in Finale notepad. I am aware of those issues but I can't do anything other than adjust arpeggios and few articulations, dynamics and text.
Other than this, I have tried arranging this complex orchestra score, so I hope the "structure" I gave it for piano solo is acceptable.
Loberto Marco

Kricketune54

As you've identified, this is a very dense track. I'm going to mostly cover just less than half of the track for now, because there's also a lot of format I wanted to address that I think can be done within NotePad (moving symbols). Let me know what you can't though and I'll sort it out in full Finale but


Formatting
- the mp could go a bit more to the right, perhaps right of the stem of the LH Bb
- I'm going to mention it for your future reference (a future connection, if you will) even though these notes are incorrect; m2 the Ab is quite high as a top layer of the bottom staff. Move it to the RH, and use a dashed line between the notes to show it's a progression from the G in the top staff.
- m4 the fermatas would make a bit more sense flipped the opp. direction
- m9 RH some incorrect beaming here, the dotted quarter note in the RH should be a quarter tied to an 8th. The 3 8th's all beamed to eachother is a bit irregular to begin with, but having the additional 8th on beat 3.0 will fix this.
- m12 flip the Fn up. this can be done in Notepad
- m13-14 these rolls are high, could go lower and more inline with notes (ex. m45)
- m29 small but mp could go more to the left so it's better centered with notes above and below it. The cresc. also shouldn't extend all the way to the barline of m31
- m37 the tempo marking could go above the 6/8, and the 8va slightly under it. Overall this page's margins could be fixed a bit (too wide and high)
- m45 system this might be too tight as the dotted whole notes in the LH are overlapping with adjacent 8th notes.
- In general the 8va's need to move a little to the left of their starting note, and don't have to extend all the way to the end of the bar. Can do something like this at m44, for example:
Spoiler
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Notes
- Overall, this is how I hear the first bar and beats of m2 go.
Spoiler
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- It would be helpful to have a Cb accidental in m3 LH on the first note
- m4 RH not hearing a Bb above this Eb
- m5 LH the Gb is only a half note and moves to a Bb half note, could make this a separate top layer
- m6 LH I don't hear Ab on bottom as a whole note, sounds like an Fn
- m7 LH the Gb the Gb is only a half note and moves to a Bb quarter note and then back to the Gb as a quarter note. Separate layer
- m7 RH lower layer the F is a quarter note and moves to a Db quarter
- m8 LH I don't hear any movement beyond an Ab half note for the second half of the measure as opposed to what is currently there
- m10 LH this first chord isn't Db major, remove the Ab on top nad add a Bb below the Db. I think the first layer should be F and Bb whole notes, and the second the moving part. Speaking of, the D on beat 3.0 is an 8th note, followed by a lower Bb 8th note on 3.5. The rhythm on beat 4 is not a triplet, so it should be four 8th notes, Db-Bb-Db-F
- m11 LH the Cb is the quarter note, whereas the Eb is held out as a whole note. beat 3 is also a Cb not Eb.
- m12 LH the half note is an F, I think it would be okay to do a restrike.
- m12 RH there is a Bb where you have a 16th rest
- m13 RH beat 1 no Gb at bottom of roll, beat 2 sounds like it's rolled and another Bb under current. Beat 4 should be like this new beat 2.
- m14 LH beat 2.0 2nd layer the Eb is held for one more 8th note (tied), and the rhythm after should be Ab-Bb-C (C not Eb on beat 4.5)
- m15 LH beat 4.0 I hear a Gb instead of Ab, and a Db under it as well.
- m16 LH I hear a C above the Eb on beat 3, and a C under the Ab in beat 4
- m16 RH I hear a roll on beat 1 with C and Ab under the Eb
- m17 RH roll on beats 1 and 2, Gb under beat 2. There also could be lower octave notes beats 3.5-4.5
- m18 LH the half note Bb sounds like a dotted quarter, and there is a C 8th note on beat 2.5 (ascending to the Db on beat 3.0). Beat 4.5 is a Db as well
- m18 RH i hear the following under each note: F-Db-Bb-Db. First note is also rolled and has a Db in addition to outlined notes
- m19 LH this chord should sound more like an Eb one, with Eb on bottom. Remove Ab on top. Also, the second layer is technically up an octave, and i think would sound better that way.
- m19 RH Ab under the Eb (in piano notes), and there's a Bb technically played by the strings. Test it, I don't think it sounds too bad having them adjacent to eachother.
- m20 LH I would remove the G at the bottom as the bottom is technically Eb and this G is making the chord a bit muddy sounding. You could put the Bb that is in the original above the higher G though.
- m20 RH the G is an 8th note value, followed by Bb (1.5), Eb (2.0), Bb (2.5), and then on beat 3 and 3.5 there is a Eb followed by Bb which could fill out this measure.
- m21 LH move the Eb up an octave, and on beat 2, move the replace the Cb with an Eb below the Gb
- m21 LH beat 4.0 the Ab is two 8th's, Ab and Bb
- m21 RH top (vocal) layer I'm hearing the notes go from Gb-Cb to Eb-Cb, not Ab-F.
- m21 RH lower layer (piano) not hearing the roll on beat 1, and only hear the Eb as opposed to lower notes. beat 2 should be held for 2 beats (no Gb quarter on beat 3)
- m23 LH the Bb on beat 2.0 is a Db, followed by a Eb
- m23 RH beat 2.0 hearing Bb under the Db
- m26 LH chord needs a Bb above

Zanza

Thank you for your patience, I'll make those changes as soon as possible.
Loberto Marco

Kricketune54

Quote from: Zanza on April 30, 2023, 07:38:25 AMThank you for your patience, I'll make those changes as soon as possible.

Please take this time to also review beyond m26 for note accuracy.

Bloop


Kricketune54

I'm going to archive this submission for now. I invite you to resubmit it in the future, but please address my feedback before doing so, give the notes a thorough check, as well as the visual quality of the sheet. There are a lot of small note mistakes that I documented, as well as missing ornaments and different elements colliding or sitting on top of each other.

Feel free to ask for assistance on Discord in #Help, #Submissions, or #Arranging!

Zeta

This submission has been deleted by Kricketune54.
         
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot