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[N64] Star Fox 64 - "All Clear" by Fernman

Started by Zeta, February 19, 2023, 01:33:52 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Star Fox
Game: Star Fox 64
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: All Clear
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Fernman

Fernman

#1
Link to song:

Notes about arrangment:
The song itself is relatively short (35 seconds) with the melody only being 8 measures. There are many layers to this arrangement, so I decided to approach them in different sections to make the song interesting each time.
"A" is the main theme
"B" is the higher octave of the main theme. The LH is raised an octave so the disparity between both sections is still pleasant. The intent of this section is to feel that you really finished the game and you can relax, breath and smile.
"C" is a non-harmonic of the main theme with the counter melody present in the LH
It then repeats and goes to the second ending "D"
"D" is the same as C except each hand does what the other hand did in C. I really like the RH section so high. It just feels so rewarding and content that you did it! you beat the game.
And then it ends on a good note.

Kricketune54

Hi there!

Similar to what was said on your other submission, just make sure to follow the formatting guidelines. I noticed you made some big updates to this sheet, but still a few things apply. Didn't look too hard at notes beyond the first section so mostly general stuff.

Format/Document
- From m7 on the tempo is quarter note = 74 bpm; I would suggest clocking tempos with a tool or a website like this; https://www.beatsperminuteonline.com/.
- m6 RH the 2nd note hear doesn't sound like it is that much shorter, so I would remove the staccato. Staccatos don't usually make sense on 16th notes unless the tempo is somewhat slow (like 60 bpm for example).
- m1 and m4 LH the dotted 8th notes here aren't that short so the staccato is not necessary.
- m38-39 is a bit awkward as far as the measure distribution goes. Typically the measures per system (system being the each row on which measures exist on the sheet) is consistent, such as four measures per system. You might want to play around with this more, but I would also suggest referencing existing sheets that are on NinSheetMusic for a bit more guidance.
- With Ottavas (8va) make sure they are not going through other elements, such as the section letters or repeat endings. However, I think the Ottavas are better left out here; I think they are making the RH up an octave higher than the original top layer melody notes.
- Typically for songs that loop it is reflected in arrangements with a repeat symbol, so perhaps remove m39 and have the repeat cycle back to m7.

Notes
- m3 RH I hear a G under the B. I also hear a B under the D in m4-5.
- m1-3 RH this isn't the correct rhythms to begin with, but I wanted to note that dotted 32nd notes like this not a standard notation. For m1, the D-E-F are all triplet 16th notes. The same goes for the F-G-A in m2, and the A-B-C in m3.
- m6 I do not hear the D's in this measure. The G's are actually present an octave lower than they are currently as well though. Perhaps this measure could be written as such:
- I would listen closer from m7 to the end. There are a lot of missing notes underneath the RH melody, it sounds like two different octaves are playing for a good chunk between m15 to the end. There are also intricacies that could be incorporated to the RH, such as the trumpet part in m19-22.


Somethings I've noticed in your submitted arrangements (for example at m1-6 in the beginning of this arrangement) is that your left hand parts (LH) have some sections containing very midrange pitches and are leaving out the bassline or lower notes. It was good to add notes that fill out the RH chords (from your original sheet submission), but there are places where especially m3-m6 that I think the lower registry notes should represented. Perhaps with tremolos representing drum rolls.

In the "A-C sections" and on, the LH also leaves a bit to be desired. There's a low drum part (timpani) with audible pitches that could be incorporated, as well as the organ part acting as harmony that could potentially be incorporated in some way, perhaps down an octave or two from the original pitches. The organ is being used at section C in the LH but I think it also feels like the arrangement loses a bit of depth with no lower notes, going back to my previous suggestion on keeping/having lower/bass notes.

I think you made good changes in these regards with your Area 6 arrangement, hope this helps!

Fernman

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 17, 2023, 04:30:32 PMFormat/Document
- From m7 on the tempo is quarter note = 74 bpm; I would suggest clocking tempos with a tool or a website like this; https://www.beatsperminuteonline.com/.
- m6 RH the 2nd note hear doesn't sound like it is that much shorter, so I would remove the staccato. Staccatos don't usually make sense on 16th notes unless the tempo is somewhat slow (like 60 bpm for example).
- m1 and m4 LH the dotted 8th notes here aren't that short so the staccato is not necessary.
- m38-39 is a bit awkward as far as the measure distribution goes. Typically the measures per system (system being the each row on which measures exist on the sheet) is consistent, such as four measures per system. You might want to play around with this more, but I would also suggest referencing existing sheets that are on NinSheetMusic for a bit more guidance.
- With Ottavas (8va) make sure they are not going through other elements, such as the section letters or repeat endings. However, I think the Ottavas are better left out here; I think they are making the RH up an octave higher than the original top layer melody notes.
- Typically for songs that loop it is reflected in arrangements with a repeat symbol, so perhaps remove m39 and have the repeat cycle back to m7.
These are all fixed. The 8va's is how it formatted in Notepad. I am unable to adjust it in Notepad, or even move the tempo marking from under Section "A".
True, typically songs that loop, loop at then end. However, when I was listening to it repeating at m39 it got boring. So, I made a 1st and second ending with variations to it. So I intentionally made 30 be the repeat so it can end differently.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 17, 2023, 04:30:32 PMNotes
- m3 RH I hear a G under the B. I also hear a B under the D in m4-5.
I don't hear a G5 whole note. Maybe a G4. The G4 can't be played because it would overlay with the LH.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 17, 2023, 04:30:32 PM- m1-3 RH this isn't the correct rhythms to begin with, but I wanted to note that dotted 32nd notes like this not a standard notation. For m1, the D-E-F are all triplet 16th notes. The same goes for the F-G-A in m2, and the A-B-C in m3.
- m6 I do not hear the D's in this measure. The G's are actually present an octave lower than they are currently as well though. Perhaps this measure could be written as such:
Fixed, though I'm not sure if you had more to add after "such:"
I hear the flute or piccolo as the high notes in the background which I think is the same octave?
Also, Notepad formatted it so the 16th's were joined with the Triplet. I don't know how to fix that.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 17, 2023, 04:30:32 PM- I would listen closer from m7 to the end. There are a lot of missing notes underneath the RH melody, it sounds like two different octaves are playing for a good chunk between m15 to the end. There are also intricacies that could be incorporated to the RH, such as the trumpet part in m19-22.
The melody itself is playing at the two different octaves piccolo and some soft trumpets I think as if A and B RH were stacked upon each other. Since that isn't playable I approached it in two different sections. If you are referring to the Organ accompaniment that is in Part C.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 17, 2023, 04:30:32 PMSomethings I've noticed in your submitted arrangements (for example at m1-6 in the beginning of this arrangement) is that your left hand parts (LH) have some sections containing very midrange pitches and are leaving out the bassline or lower notes. It was good to add notes that fill out the RH chords (from your original sheet submission), but there are places where especially m3-m6 that I think the lower registry notes should represented. Perhaps with tremolos representing drum rolls.
If I understand you correctly you are referencing a G2, F2 and anything else in that range is not reachable by the left hand. Since it is not playable I'm not sure what the reason is to include them.
If the drum roll is what is being represented with tremolos, I would imagine they would be lower notes, which I don't see as being reachable and playable on time since it is immediately after and during the LH. Also, personally I don't see how a drumroll adapted tremolo would be fitting for a song that is trying to make you relax. Although it is present in the OST, I at least don't remember it as much as the melody.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 17, 2023, 04:30:32 PMIn the "A-C sections" and on, the LH also leaves a bit to be desired. There's a low drum part (timpani) with audible pitches that could be incorporated,
I'm not sure how to put an image on display here so I'll put a link.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yACyWFyKyGgY_oy-mIlY1ZXTM3iM0UWG/view?usp=share_link
In the image I added in the timpani for what I could figure out. I concluded that on the piano it makes too much movement in my opinion for a song that is meant for you to take a breath and relax that the final boss is defeated. i did add a few notes that do fit when the RH is holding a note.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 17, 2023, 04:30:32 PMas well as the organ part acting as harmony that could potentially be incorporated in some way, perhaps down an octave or two from the original pitches.
Instead of doing multiple voices, my approach is to tackle them in individual sections. I did try and overlay them onto section B, down an octave, but I think it sounds unpleasant.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 17, 2023, 04:30:32 PMThe organ is being used at section C in the LH but I think it also feels like the arrangement loses a bit of depth with no lower notes, going back to my previous suggestion on keeping/having lower/bass notes.
I updated the arrangement to pull the organ down an octave to give it depth while still sounding pleasant. I considered making the RH the organ and keeping the lower notes from section "A" but the RH is the melody and I think should always be repeated in some fashion to keep with the spirit of the song.

As a playability aside, although I made updates to the sheet with more harmonics in the Intro and section A, I am not able to play those octave jumps smoothly as I would if I were just playing the top notes. I added them since I know now the reviewers will be looking for them, but I'm not certain if that can be played smoothly. Even with the pedal it sounds not smooth. Maybe it is my hand reach? Thoughts?

Thanks for the feedback!

Kricketune54

#4
Quote from: Fernman on March 17, 2023, 09:38:30 PMThese are all fixed. The 8va's is how it formatted in Notepad. I am unable to adjust it in Notepad, or even move the tempo marking from under Section "A".

One of the most knowledgeable people on this site when it comes to MuseScore and making it work for NotePad exports, Cacabish, wrote the following post. https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=11860.0. I know it's a lot to look through but see what can get ported over from MuseScore. Dependent on where things are from there, I can certainly provide some assistance with formatting and such.


QuoteTrue, typically songs that loop, loop at then end. However, when I was listening to it repeating at m39 it got boring. So, I made a 1st and second ending with variations to it. So I intentionally made 30 be the repeat so it can end differently.
My apologies for not picking up on this the first time, but I now see that this song really only goes till m14.  I like the varied aspect of the rest of the arrangement and the thinking there, but this really isn't quite what the arrangements that get put on NinSheetMusic are. Typically if a song kind of loops back to the beginning after one go through, that is how the sheets are, regardless of the length of the piece.

I think sometimes people do make custom endings like your last measure, but it would be quite atypical to have arrangements go up that have large sections varied when a song would normally just repeat. On that subject, your custom ending should be clearly labeled is not a part of the original track

Hope that isn't a huge thing, but I would request that the song go from 39 measures to 15, including the optional custom ending.


Fernman

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 24, 2023, 02:19:58 PMMy apologies for not picking up on this the first time, but I now see that this song really only goes till m14.  I like the varied aspect of the rest of the arrangement and the thinking there, but this really isn't quite what the arrangements that get put on NinSheetMusic are. Typically if a song kind of loops back to the beginning after one go through, that is how the sheets are, regardless of the length of the piece.

I think sometimes people do make custom endings like your last measure, but it would be quite atypical to have arrangements go up that have large sections varied when a song would normally just repeat. On that subject, your custom ending should be clearly labeled is not a part of the original track

Hope that isn't a huge thing, but I would request that the song go from 39 measures to 15, including the optional custom ending.

I knew this was a slightly creative project and I wanted to test the waters on what is site acceptable on this short song.

I'm ok with the idea of shortening the song, but IF it involves layering everything (i.e. RH section A, B, and C) on top of each other, in my opinion it becomes unplayable and therefore not in line with Ninsheet guidelines. And it does sound unpleasant if layered "as is."
Even if A and C were layered only I consider it unplayable, except maybe only to highly skilled players which in my opinion, are not the majority of visitors on this site. I could be wrong, but that is my thought.

Let me know if you have any additional thoughts, otherwise I will withdraw this submission at the end of tomorrow 3/25

Kricketune54

Layering is not quite what I had in mind either, it would be unplayable. I know B and C sections RH melody represent that high flute part, and I think it's okay/sounds better to leave that melody down an octave for this arrangement the way it is written out in section A already.

Fernman

I consolidated everything into the aforementioned 15 measures. I tried to avoid layered voicing when possible in the LH by changing half notes to quarter or eight notes found in the other voice. This not only improves playability but is also easier to play for someone with a shorter hand reach. When fingers overlapped I picked one hand to play the note. I added the note of the optional ending. I hope I don't have to justify every small change as I tried to still make it playable and in the spirit of the song.

Kricketune54

#8
Quote from: Fernman on March 25, 2023, 08:08:40 AMI consolidated everything into the aforementioned 15 measures. I tried to avoid layered voicing when possible in the LH by changing half notes to quarter or eight notes found in the other voice. This not only improves playability but is also easier to play for someone with a shorter hand reach. When fingers overlapped I picked one hand to play the note. I added the note of the optional ending.

This consolidation looks pretty good, and thank you for being flexible/adaptable on that.

Going to give some more broadly submission related feedback, as well as some note fixes:

- Make sure with each submission update, you're updating all the file types. The .mus is from the last feedback exchange, and while it's mostly a convenience thing before a sheet is accepted for the next site update (i.e. can do playback in Finale as opposed to reading the sheet PDF and trying to play the midi file with it separately lol), we do want to make sure all the files are up to date.

- For the composer credits, this track was by Koji Kondo only, which can be sourced on vgmdb https://vgmdb.net/album/133. We use this site a lot for song credits, but there are often a lot of games where we would just put every composer's name from the composer credits because a soundtrack release doesn't exist. Thankfully SF 64 is not one of those games. Can remove Hajime Wakai from the sheet.

- "Arrangement by Fernman still seems a little small, try increasing the font by 1 or 2 points.

- For the optional ending text, could you bold the font and make sure it's 12 pts? The ending looks good, can reference sheets onsite that are short theme compilations for how the text could look (ex. https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/5068)




Notes
- m3 LH small beaming fix here, the second dotted 8th note should be a 16th tied to an 8th. There would also not be a half note, as general music theory/beaming rules dictate to not beam over the middle of a measure. So instead, have an 8th note tied to a dotted quarter (which looks like the below image)
Spoiler
[close]
For additional reading on beaming rules, definitely check out this article though it is more focused on 8th beaming than the scenario I have addressed. https://www.musicnotes.com/now/musictheory/note-beaming-and-grouping-in-music-theory/

- m5 LH beat 2 (dotted half note) you could put Eb4 under the C and G, just to round out the chord since Eb2 is present in original. Could also add an Fn4 or Fn3 to the LH chord in m6 as well.
- m5 RH I'm not hearing the Dn under the G in beat 2
- m7, m11 RH beat 4 I don't think this 8th note is short enough to justify a staccato
- m7, m9 LH this first 8th note of the measure should be beamed to the next 8th note
- m8 LH beat 2-3 you could add the C under this half note, considering in the original the C is held for 3 beats
- m9 LH beats 3.5 and 4.5 I am not hearing these as shorter than the previous 8th notes, could remove the staccatos
- m10 LH beat 2 this would be an F# to keep with the G major key sig
- m14 You could keep the G in this measure a Gn4 and put it in the RH, and then move to an F#4 on beat 3 (which you can hear). This could be done by making a second layer in the RH like this:
Spoiler
[close]

Quote from: Kricketune54- m6 RH the 2nd note hear doesn't sound like it is that much shorter, so I would remove the staccato. Staccatos don't usually make sense on 16th notes unless the tempo is quite slow.
- Reupping this about removing staccatos from 16th notes, applies for m2, m7, m9 and m11, and m14 RH. I would also emphasize this has to do with the fact that it's hard to replicate the staccato feel on a piano for a 16th note, and that is another reason why it's not typically seen.


QuoteI hope I don't have to justify every small change as I tried to still make it playable and in the spirit of the song.
This is not intended to be an argumentative process, nor a tedious one, but as a part of making sure NinSheetMusic sheets are hitting a high bar as far as their overall representative nature of the original track and their consistency with existing sheets on site, we'll voice suggestions and tips to meet that existing standard in addition to general note accuracy and formatting. Definitely don't feel like you have to justify everything, but as a part of the general updater approach if we see something that we feel requires some discussion, we'll raise it, and ideally later than earlier.

I think we've come to a good point with this track as far as meeting that standard broadly, and in the original's spirit, so hats off to you  :)


One last thing: The system distribution of the four systems is a little wide; the tie near "arrangement by" and the notes towards the bottom near the copyright at the bottom are a bit out of the margins. I am not sure how you have been going about making edits (all in Notepad at this point, or making edits in MuseScore and then transferring over to Finale Notepad), but if you would like after you upload the changes, I can fix the system spread and the q= 74 tempo mark as well.

Fernman

Updated.
I think I got everything.
Thanks for the feedback.

I am redoing everything in Musescore and then converting over. Small things like text I fix in Notepad. I'll look into what to adjust in Musescore to make it within print range.

Kricketune54

Sorry didn't realize the photo wasn't showing up, but this is what I had suggested for m14:
Spoiler
[close]
What you did is fine as far as notes, but it is a little confusing looking at the measure currently and seeing the F# half note without any previous rests or anything. So I would at least suggest unhiding the half rest in the bottom layer.

The font for the arranger credit should be italicized as well, my bad for not calling that out earlier.

Another thing I realized I missed that I wanted to call attention to was a dynamic. Sheets should always at the least have a starting dynamic; I think forte would be good for this one. Just make sure to center it under the first note of the piece.

The systems are still a bit wide , and the q=74 tempo marking still is a bit close and could move slightly higher up from current position.

I would also suggest changing some of the measure systems distributions; currently it's 4-5-5-2 measures per system. I think 4-4-3-4 or 4-4-4-3 would look better; generally you want to not have one or two measures on your last system, because it visually looks a bit stretched that way.

Some other stuff:

- m13 LH the quarter note B is actually two 8th notes (both B). There's technically a couple trumpet notes before this part but I think it's okay to sit on the An for two beats here.
- m14 LH remove the G on beat 1 (the only G in this measure is already in RH).
Quote from: Kricketune54-m5 RH I'm not hearing the Dn under the G in beat 2
- m7, m11 RH beat 4 I don't think this 8th note is short enough to justify a staccato

These bullets still need fixing. I know there has been a lot of stuff I've had you address, but you're nearly there and I'll approve it next time

Fernman

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 28, 2023, 02:40:46 PMWhat you did is fine as far as notes, but it is a little confusing looking at the measure currently and seeing the F# half note without any previous rests or anything. So I would at least suggest unhiding the half rest in the bottom layer.
I formatted it the same way as shown in your image in Musescore, but when it converts to Notepad it ended up on the other side of the note.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on March 28, 2023, 02:40:46 PMThe systems are still a bit wide.
I still havent' figured out how to narrow the systems in Musescore.

I think I got it all this time.

XiaoMigros

Sorry to intrude, but I know from experience how painful Notepad is to work with. Here is a .mus file with basic adjustments made.
You should hopefully be able to make the rest of the changes you need from within Notepad, but if not you can ask me and I'll make them in regular Finale instead.

Fernman

Thanks Xiao,

The files have been updated within the posting.

Kricketune54

Thank you for helping Xiao!

I noticed the PDF appears to have had some issues as far as the articulations displaying correctly, I've corrected that with this file that you can replace the current one with.

Also had a couple late ideas that you can feel free to implement, I think the systems might be a little better having 3 measures on first line and 5 on the second. I also think you could have the LH do the same rhythms for part of the intro section, as there are technically two instruments playing that part.  Feel free to use these files entirely instead of the PDF I linked but otherwise I'll approve