The NSM Advice Column

[K-NiGhT]

I'm suprised we don't have something like this.

So, since I figured we have a respectable and fairly mature community here at NSM, I would make this topic. This is for people who have a problem that they want a second opinion on.

First, a few ground rules.

Be mature about this. This kinda goes without saying. These are real people with real problems and I don't want anybody's feelings to get hurt.

If you like to help, find someone whose cry for help hasn't been answered. Too often on other threads, some people's questions or comments are immediately drowned out by other conversations. I want everyone to have an equal chance at getting the help they seek.

Now...

GO TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE

[ETFROXX]

Okay guys. I'll be 100% honest with you. I need help on how to be honest with others about this.








I'm bisexual.

Seriously. I've been wanting to get this out for a while. And I need to figure out how to tell those I'm close to irl.

[Nebbles]

Don't come out unless you absolutely want to, ETF. Don't feel forced or pressured - it's your own sexuality and you should tell others when you're ready.

Telling us is a step of its own, and we're always here to talk. If you want to tell others, though, sit them down and say you have something to talk to them about.

[ETFROXX]

Part of my problem is that I live in conservative NE.

I don't know if my friends will be too accepting. I want to tell people, I don't want this to be a secret that I feel the need to hide.

Part of me worries that all people will see is 'OMG SHE LIKES GIRLS.' and they'll no longer see anything else. Y'know?

[Nebbles]

Ooh... I can see how that'd be an issue. Yikes.

I really don't know how can I help with that? Like for me it makes no difference and you like who you like... I'm sure you'll have friends who will feel the same.

[BlackDragonSlayer]

Okay guys. I'll be 100% honest with you. I need help on how to be honest with others about this.


I'm bisexual.

Seriously. I've been wanting to get this out for a while. And I need to figure out how to tell those I'm close to irl.

Ninja'd by Nebbles. Twice.
They should accept you for who you are, even if they don't agree; if they don't, then don't fear, although it may be easy to feel abandoned.

I don't know if my friends will be too accepting. I want to tell people, I don't want this to be a secret that I feel the need to hide.

Part of me worries that all people will see is 'OMG SHE LIKES GIRLS.' and they'll no longer see anything else. Y'know?

If they do not accept you, if they do not stand by you, then they don't seem to me like real friends. My family has had countless people just "leave" during times of need.

[MaestroUGC]

Tell them at your own pace, sure enough, but also be aware of who you're telling. You know how those you're close to are, so you probably have a good idea how they will react.

Do not, above all else, keep it bottled up. That will make you absolutely miserable in life, because you would be denying your own nature. There's never a "right way" to come out like this, so really you're just going to need to do it when you're ready. Preface it for who you're talking too however you need to, but at some point you will just need to come out and say it.

Who have you told, if anybody?

[ETFROXX]

I've only told some internet friends. I haven't told anyone irl.

EDIT: And by internet friends I mean ones I'm not exceptionally close to. Just ones I talk with on ircs and stuff.

[MaestroUGC]

Well, if you claim to know your friends, then you already know if telling them will turn out good or bad. If anything, they probably already know, given your level of subtlety around them, if any.

Personally, I believe you should talk to your parents before anybody else, their opinions will carry more weight than anybody else.

[SuperFireKirby]

DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO NOT SAY "hawt" IN RESPONSE TO YOUR DILEMMA?

Mkay, glad I got that out. SFK, BEST ADVICE GIVER IN THE WORLD IS HERE! Soooo, you're bisexual? Hawt.

God damnit. Okay I NEED MAH SERIOUS FACE. Now, in complete truth, girls actually have a higher tendency to swing the other way. Everyone is at least somewhat homosexual. Girls happen to, in general, be more so. It's been proven by science. Seriously. So what you're feeling isn't actually all that uncommon. I'm not sure if you've got feelings for a specific individual(smexy room mate, perhaps?), or if something just clicked one day and you were all like "Chicks are kinda hawt".

BUT NONE OF THAT IS EVEN THE POINT. If you're friends judge you for being different, that's their fucking issue. Not yours. They can't accept you for the awesome way you are? Find some people who can because those stubborn assholes obviously aren't your friends. And shit, if they don't all ask you out the second you come out, they're fucking crazy. Fo realz.

Start maybe by telling the more accepting and liberal of your parents/close friends. Tell someone you know you can count on, even in fucking armageddon. Just tell someone.

[BlackDragonSlayer]

BUT NONE OF THAT IS EVEN THE POINT. If you're friends judge you for being different, that's their fucking issue. Not yours. They can't accept you for the awesome way you are? Find some people who can because those stubborn assholes obviously aren't your friends. And shit, if they don't all ask you out the second you come out, they're fucking crazy. Fo realz.

That's like what I said, except in a different way.

[ETFROXX]

I can't say it's something that clicked one day. I've always kind of known. Also, in response to Maestro. I'm fairly certain I'm subtle... Fuck.

I suppose starting with parents is a good idea, but I'm not sure how to bring it up.

[MaestroUGC]

"Hey Mom and Dad, turns out I like Chicks and D***s! Well see ya!"

That seemed funnier in my head, but my personal filter is on the fritz so I'm going to post it anyway.

[Shadoninja]

Okay guys. I'll be 100% honest with you. I need help on how to be honest with others about this.








I'm bisexual.

Seriously. I've been wanting to get this out for a while. And I need to figure out how to tell those I'm close to irl.

Move to Canada where nearly everyone will accept you for who you are, eh? (Yes, moving to Canada is my solution to everything)

[SuperFireKirby]

And all of a sudden ETF having two husbands and a wife makes way more sense.

Darnit ETF, quit being so awesome.