Responses below since I fixed up the Musescore website version of my Multi-Man Melee 1 score:
In the future it would be more convenient if you provided a .mscz or .musicxml file, but if you would rather not then that's ok
- It would be nice to include double barlines before key signature changes
In retrospect, I guess this theme is sectional enough that the double barlines at key signature changes mostly serve a purpose form-wise. The only double barline at a key change I still omitted is the Bar 4-5 one because it's still part of the intro and keys change the fastest there. (The only double barline I put not at a key change is at the start of the solo between Bars 38-39.)
- m1-2 LH there are low F#'s playing here
Added the low notes. I can't seem to hear them at all in the original unless I put the speed at 50% or lower, though, so I kinda originally grouped them with the crowd noise in those measures and didn't include them at first.
- m15/23 RH beat 4.5 lower note sounds like C
Listened to there a bunch and kept hearing that lower note as E flat instead. I did start hearing the lower note of the RH Beat 2.5 in Bar 23 as G, though, so I changed that. I decided to keep Bars 15 and 23 consistent with each other because the Bars 15+ version actually uses sweeps instead (which I don't really feel like making people play).
- m16/24 RH beat 2.5 lower note sounds like Eb; beat 4.5 lower note sounds like C
Good ear for both notes. I changed them accordingly.
- m17 RH beat 2.5 lower note sounds like Ab; beat 4.5 lower note sounds like G
I kept listening to Bar 17, and I kept finding that its RH Beat 2.5 sounded more like it was harmonized with G than A flat. It was hard for me to hear any lower note in Beat 4.5 of both Bar 17 and Bar 25, though, so I switched both to G like you suggested.
- m18 I'm not sure if the 32nd notes really add much, but if you still want to keep that in then you should flip the stems and raise the half rest up to it's default position
I prefer the 32nd notes in Bar 18 and Bar 26 to make differentiating between them easier (just like they're easy enough to differentiate when listening to the original, but only because of those flourishes). Flipped the voices, but I'm now worried that the half rest in its default position will make people play the whole note as if it's a half note instead. Left the stems as-is since the 32nd-note stem direction is what Musescore defaults to and the dotted quarter-note stem looked wrong when pointing up instead of down.
- m20 I'd personally write the fall as a gliss extending to beat 1 of measure 21
Listened to that measure more and found the falls(/glissandos?) actually jumped higher again in Beat 4 of Bar 20.
- m25 RH beat 2.5 lower note sounds like Eb; beat 3 I think it would be better to change the D to C
Good ear for both of those notes. I changed them accordingly.
- m31 RH I don't think this is feasibly playable
Tried playing that passage in thirds and it's a little beyond my skill level, so I removed the inner voice for playability's sake.
- m35-38 LH I think it would be nice if you wrote out the guitar rhythm for one of the A's while keeping the other sustained
Listened to that passage yet again in the original and, as far as I can tell, those low guitar(/bass?) notes in the original really are sustained and are not playing a shorter (e.g. quarter note) rhythm. Are you confusing the low guitar notes with the voices on top (which echo like crazy, which is more apparent at slower speeds)?
- m43-46/51-54 LH why did you exclude the 5ths here?
I just plain don't hear the 5ths there at all, even at slower speeds, unlike the 5ths in the F sharp minor(/major?) solo sections.