The Official Pokémon Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum Project

Started by Latios212, July 16, 2016, 06:44:06 PM

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Libera

Pt14 - Spin Trade - Sebastian [Approved by Latios, accepted by Libera]

Looks great!



21 - Victory! (Trainer Battle) - AmpharosAndy [Approved by Latios, accepted by Libera]

Just fixed the arranger credits: good to go!

Libera

139 - Pokémon League (Night) - Pianist Da Sootopolis [Approved by Libera]

What a beautiful piece.  Arrangement was pretty good, just a few inaccuracies with the repeats and some general formatting stuff.  Good to go!  (I hope it was alright for me to edit this, I don't think I've ever seen you around.)



47 - Victory! (Team Galactic) - AmpharosAndy [Approved by Libera]

Just formatted this and did some visual tweaking.  Looks great!

Latios212

#272
Quote from: Libera on February 09, 2019, 11:12:03 AM80 - Route 201 (Night) - Latios212

Only got two comments:

-In bar 7 and 9 in the second half of the bar you've got an open chord rather than the original which is a full C chord.  My suggestion would be to add the part in that's playing those Es like this:
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but something else might work as well.
-Once again, my favourite, http to https.
Sounds good! Updated that.



Accepting:

32 - Battle! (Gym Leader) - Th3Gavst3r [Approved by Libera, accepted by Latios]
Looks great, just added a courtesy natural in the LH G in the second bar.

47 - Victory! (Team Galactic) - AmpharosAndy [Approved by Libera, accepted by Latios]
74 - Trainers' Eyes Meet (Ace Trainer) - Don Valentino [Approved by Libera, accepted by Latios]

99 - Trainers' Eyes Meet (Aroma Lady) - Don Valentino [Approved by Libera, accepted by Latios]

139 - Pokémon League (Night) - Pianist Da Sootopolis [Approved by Libera, accepted by Latios]
Revamped the layout; adjusted some slurs, ties, and articulations, as well as took out the middle repeat section (it was only being used for one measure).



Also Sebastian accepted these but forgot to post.

10 - Victory! (Wild Pokémon) - Th3Gavst3r [Approved by Latios, accepted by Sebastian]
16 - Pokémon Center (Day) - Yug Guy [Approved by Latios, accepted by Sebastian]
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Libera


Maelstrom

I approve of 201 night as well
It's a great little piece.

Latios212

Finally finished fixing up:

42 - Eterna Forest - Zeila [Approved by Latios]

There were some rhythmic errors and I also balanced the voices a little better in certain places.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Latios212

Continuing down the list:

46 - Battle! (Team Galactic Commander) - JDMEK5 [Approved by Latios]

Hope you don't mind, I did a bit of rebalancing of the layout - margins etc. to space everything a bit more evenly. I also removed the overlapping D# in m. 50 (so it now looks like 48) and verified and removed the text about the potentially confusing note (unless that was intended for the performer and not the person checking it?). I personally prefer the descending chromatic line at the beginning over the repetitive one you wrote. It's fine though, up to you what you wanna keep.

Looks great otherwise!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Libera

115 - Battle! (Azelf/Mesprit/Uxie) - Zeila [Approved by Libera]

Did a bunch of edits on the sheet.  Generally they were geared towards layering and general layout, including bar distribution.  I also removed some octaves/shifted them around in places to avoid lots of collisions with the bass line.  Finally I reworked the right hand of the last section to make it more clearly follow the upper line.  Plus there were some voicing and accidental changes in a few places, but nothing major.  All of the notes looked great!

Libera

137 - Battle! (Legendary Pokémon) - Sebastian

-I think the first two bars would be better kept in the same time signature as the rest of the sheet (i.e. 4/4) but with a tempo change when the bass comes in.  It seems weird having these 9/4 bars sitting around to me.  (That would make the tempo at the start roughly 156 if my arithmetic is correct.)
-I would go with Ens rather than Fbs and Ans rather than Bbbs throughout the bass line.  Not only would it be easier to read, but I think the implied chord movement makes more sense this way (C flat 5, Db aug etc.)  (I've just noticed that you do actually sometimes spell the Fb as an En.  They should definitely all be the same and I would strongly recommend the En over the Fb.)
-Regarding courtesy accidentals, there's some inconsistency going on.  Eg.g bar 4 doesn't have a courtesy on the Bb but does in all subsequent times that figure comes in.  Also,  if you want to put a courtesy on the Bb why not also put one on the Gn?
-I don't see the purpose of the leading line in bars 15-16.  It doesn't seem like the same voice playing those two parts and I don't think it helps distinguish where the hands should go either.  I'd just remove it, personally.
-The right hand of bar 19 doesn't seem playable to me.  I'd shift the G up the octave so you can fit it under the hand more easily.
-The layer one rests in bars 19, 23, 27, 31 and 35 could just be at normal height I think.
-The age-old http to https.
-Bring the copyright up to v=0 vertical alignment.

The notes look solid to me, these are all just small presentation things really.

Zeila

I worked on Stark Mountain recently, so here's an edited version of the one on site:
also hello, it's been a while. sorry about the wait, lol
[MUS]

Latios212

#280
Hey, nice to see you around still! This looks like a really good overhaul. Will check it over soon~
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Latios212

I went ahead and checked 53 - Hearthome City (Day) - FireArrow. Mostly good, just a couple of note and formatting fixes here and there. Approving this one
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

136 - Stark Mountain - Zeila

Quote from: Zeila on May 04, 2019, 01:40:21 PMI worked on Stark Mountain recently, so here's an edited version of the one on site:

Quote from: Latios212 on May 04, 2019, 01:48:00 PMHey, nice to see you around still! This looks like a really good overhaul. Will check it over soon~

Am I Latios now???  Checking...

-The third note in the left hand of bar 20 sounds like an An to me rather than a C.
-Hearing this instead for the left hand of bar 25:
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-The harmonies for bar 46 don't sound right to me, and either way I think I'd cut some of those extra right hand notes because it seems pretty awkward to perform those four chords in a row at that speed.
-For the left hand in bar 59 (and similarly in bar 63) I'm hearing:
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but I can see why you might have removed that high offbeat Bn to stay away from the RH so I'm happy either way on this one really.
-I'm not hearing the last low C in the left hand of bar 4.  Also  There's a similar high C in bar 3 on beat 3.5 like I was talking about in bar 59 and 63 (same for bar 7 as well.)
-I think I wouldn't swap the hands round on the last beat of bar 14.  I think I'd keep the Bn in the left hand at the original pitch (so below the C and Eb that the RH is playing) and then just have an octave Cn on beat 1 of bar 15 rather than three.  That would probably mean that you wouldn't want to cross staff so it might end up looking like:
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-Instead of G# G# at the start of the RH in bar 62 I'm hearing Dn C#.
-You could change the clef to treble at the start of bar 24 rather than the end.  That way it gives the performer a bit more time to react to the clef change.
-I think the placement of dynamics across the sheet could probably be made a little neater: just centre things in between the two staves more and give them a little more room to breath after the barline.
-Wouldn't 'slap leg' be more appropriate than 'pat leg'?  I'm not sure patting one's leg makes much of noise, but maybe that's just me?
-Maybe it could be made more clear where exactly the 8vbs start?  Places like bar 2 are a little ambiguous and the other ones could probably be made clearer as well just by dragging them more to the left.  For bar 2 it might be worth beaming those last two quavers separately? (assuming that is, of course, what you actually intended.)
-The Fns on the second to last section would make more sense as E#s to me, I think.  Certainly it'd look nicer haha.
-A dotted barline half way through bar 3 to indicate the fine more precisely maybe?

Pretty weird piece, but I think on the whole you've done a nice job!  All the above stuff is really quite minor.

Libera

140 - Decisive Battle! (Pokémon League) - Zeila

This looks pretty good!  A few things:
-The An in the RH of bar 30 sounds like it should be an Ab like the previous note to me.
-Something funny is going on with the accidentals in the lower layer in bar 15.  I think the Eb was intended as an En, but with the rest of the accidentals in that bar I think the Ebs should be Fbs (rather than Ens) and the D# should be an Eb.
-Nearly all of the bars are currently misaligned, so just go through the arrangement clicking on the bars to sort it out (I still haven't worked out a better way haha.)
-Kind of nitpicky but maybe flip either the last stem in the RH of bar 15 or the first in 16 so that they point the same way.  (Probably best to flip the second one downwards.)
-http -> https!
-Might just be me missing it but I'm not hearing the Gn in the RH of bar 4.



Pt7 - Wi-Fi Plaza: Mini-Games - Sebastian

RH looks good, just a few comments about the bass.  There are some bars where you miss out the bass movement at the end of bar and I feel like those almost cliche movements would be good to include over the generic root chord pattern.  I'm looking at bar 5, bar 8 and bar 17.  Also the bass note you've written in at the end of bar 9 isn't actually there.

Other than that:
-Maybe it'd be better to simplify the rhythm in the left hand of bar 11 so that it looks like the one in bar 13.  At 180bpm I'm not sure it makes much of a difference and might just be easier to read, your choice though.
-http -> https  (Can I get a custom emote for this or something haha.)

Zeila

Stark Mountain - [MUS]

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM136 - Stark Mountain - Zeila

Am I Latios now???  Checking...
just don't turn into him animorphs style...

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM-Hearing this instead for the left hand of bar 25:
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After inspecting it again I'm hearing this
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Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM-The harmonies for bar 46 don't sound right to me, and either way I think I'd cut some of those extra right hand notes because it seems pretty awkward to perform those four chords in a row at that speed.
I think it would sound weird to only play the first chord or play the 1st and 3rd, so I got rid of them. I also changed the first note of the left hand to B nats

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM-For the left hand in bar 59 (and similarly in bar 63) I'm hearing:
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but I can see why you might have removed that high offbeat Bn to stay away from the RH so I'm happy either way on this one really.
that's totally why *sweats*. I think in this instance it works better to remove it, but I added it in the beginning

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM-I'm not hearing the last low C in the left hand of bar 4.  Also  There's a similar high C in bar 3 on beat 3.5 like I was talking about in bar 59 and 63 (same for bar 7 as well.)
I removed the C in m4, and also added a staccato there

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM-I think I wouldn't swap the hands round on the last beat of bar 14.  I think I'd keep the Bn in the left hand at the original pitch (so below the C and Eb that the RH is playing) and then just have an octave Cn on beat 1 of bar 15 rather than three.  That would probably mean that you wouldn't want to cross staff so it might end up looking like:
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Done, except I moved the clef change to include the three notes before that

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM-Instead of G# G# at the start of the RH in bar 62 I'm hearing Dn C#.
I'm not hearing that at all ;-;

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM-I think the placement of dynamics across the sheet could probably be made a little neater: just centre things in between the two staves more and give them a little more room to breath after the barline.
I modified it a bit

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PM-Wouldn't 'slap leg' be more appropriate than 'pat leg'?  I'm not sure patting one's leg makes much of noise, but maybe that's just me?
Yea you're right. Fixed

Quote from: Libera on May 05, 2019, 04:08:33 PMPretty weird piece, but I think on the whole you've done a nice job!  All the above stuff is really quite minor.
Thanks! I fixed everything else I didn't comment on, and apart from that I modified the left hand in m21


Decisive Battle! (Pokémon League) - [MUS]

Quote from: Libera on May 08, 2019, 05:40:18 PM140 - Decisive Battle! (Pokémon League) - Zeila

This looks pretty good!  A few things:
-The An in the RH of bar 30 sounds like it should be an Ab like the previous note to me.
If you mean the penultimate note, I don't hear it. I think the An in the beginning is the odd one out because the Rh and Lh both play an Ab after that

Quote from: Libera on May 08, 2019, 05:40:18 PM-Something funny is going on with the accidentals in the lower layer in bar 15.  I think the Eb was intended as an En, but with the rest of the accidentals in that bar I think the Ebs should be Fbs (rather than Ens) and the D# should be an Eb.
Whoops. I think I may have forgotten to switch it

Quote from: Libera on May 08, 2019, 05:40:18 PM-Might just be me missing it but I'm not hearing the Gn in the RH of bar 4.
I still hear it


Thanks for looking both of them over, as well as the Lake trio one