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Messages - mastersuperfan

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Projects / mastersuperfan's Halloween Sheet
« on: October 11, 2021, 04:09:36 AM »
[3DS] Paper Mario: Sticker Star - "Boo Night Fever"


Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "Lost Girl" by mastersuperfan
« on: October 10, 2021, 03:28:31 PM »
- m10 RH beat 1.5: Should be B instead of G.
I initially wrote it this way to avoid re-striking the B, but I changed it anyway (also in m14).

- m13 LH beat 1.25: F# should be G.
- m14 LH beat 1.25-1.5: sounds like F#-D instead of D-G.
- m10-12 RH sounds like it should have two 16ths as well (on beats 1.25-1.5), like in m13-14.
I didn't transcribe those notes to specifically match the echo notes in the original, but rather for the rhythm. I used one sixteenth note for m10-12 and two sixteenth notes for m13-14 as a way to distinguish the two phrases and give the section some progression.

I would also strongly suggest adding the LH part that Radiak showed, particularly that downwards line in m10/12/14. It doesn't get in the way of anything and adds to the vibe here, at least imo.
We discussed this at length already—I'll be keeping it as is.

Files updated!

Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "Queen" by mastersuperfan
« on: October 10, 2021, 03:10:27 PM »
- m1-8 LH beat 1: The bass part adds a lower octave on the repeat. While it would be tricky to play, it's definitely not that hard (you have similar jumps on page 2). You could add the notes with smaller noteheads and say "2nd time only" or something.
- m9-10 LH beat 4: I would still recommend adding the C because it changes the quality of the chord - those are not Eb major chords, they're Cm7b5 chords. The voice leading still makes sense because the C moves to F in the original (the F chords have the F doubled on top which you didn't include). There's 4 voices all moving at once there.
- m28 LH beat 3: It might be cool to add the bass here in some way. Probably not a glissando, but maybe just An in octaves. It sounds fine without it too though.

Edit: Also consider spreading out the last systems on page 1 with 5-measure systems. You could have four 5-measure systems across pages 1-2 instead of two 6-measure systems, for example.
I'd like to preserve the hypermeter going into page 2. The six-measure systems at the bottom of page 1 don't look too cramped to me.

Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "My Castle Town" by Th3Gavst3r
« on: October 09, 2021, 07:25:39 PM »
I'm hearing the way Gav has it pretty clearly; the piano seems to articulate the An and Bb on beat 2 in quick succession.

Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "Lost Girl" by mastersuperfan
« on: October 07, 2021, 02:35:14 AM »
- In each measure from 9-14, there's another dyad on beat 4.75 that matches the one on beat 4. It's a bit quieter so maybe you're thinking of it more as an echo to omit, but it is a pretty noticeable strike to me. Up to you on whether you want to include it.
Yeah, I had this earlier but removed it with the other sixteenth notes. I added them back, but only as single notes to avoid too many restrikes and to prevent them from being too noticeable.

- In m. 15, the E could easily be taken by the left hand. This would also prevent the need to force the top layer to stem upwards when there's empty space below it.
Having practiced this one a lot, I actually find it substantially easier to play the E with the RH, even (especially?) with the sixteenth note on beat 4.75 added back in. The RH is just in prime position to play both notes, whereas I find it a bit awkward to position the LH ready to play that note when it's so close to the RH. But... it is fine to play either way, and I agree that moving it to the LH does make it look cleaner (and consistent with m7), so I changed it.

All right, one more check for the road. This should be everything, barring any minor issues that pop up as a result of the edits you make now.
- Maybe raise m5-8 RH up an octave? That sounds more accurate to the original to me.
- The half note m24 RH beat 1 would probably look better with the stem upwards, to be consistent with beat 3.
- Courtesy F natural on m27 RH beat 1?
- On m29 RH beat 1, the F in the chord sounds like it should be an E instead (A minor chord in RH, F in the bass).
- Any reason why m32 LH beat 4 is different from LH beat 2? The B makes more sense to me on beat 4 because the F# is already in the RH, and the third is pretty muddy down that low.
- m32 RH beat 3 should be flipped up. After you do that, make sure to move the crescendo up too.
- m39 LH beat 2 sounds to me like there's a C# on top instead of an F# in the middle. The F# sounds fine though if you want to keep it that way though.
- For m43 LH, it might be better to use Bb instead of G to avoid having a dissonant tritone in the LH.
- IMO the end of m44 LH (beats 3-4) is abruptly too thick compared to previous beats; I wouldn't include a fifth on every single note. Up to you though.
- There should be an 8va over the RH from the end of m44 to m52.
- On m46/50 LH beat 2, I would suggest using F# instead of B. The B is already held by the RH, and the B feels too high to me, i.e. it sounds like the low register is lost. (Might also apply to m62 LH beat 2 if you want to use D instead of G, but I think this one is also fine as is because it's lower than m46/50.)
- Courtesy natural on m47 LH beat 1?
- m47 LH beat 4 seems like it should use G instead of F#; F# isn't part of the chord here.
- On m55 RH beat 1, I would strongly suggest changing the F# to a D#, or including a D# in addition to the F#. The D# is really important to the chord here (more important than the F#). I would also suggest including D# on beats 2 and 3 too.
- m56 RH beat 1 should use D# instead of D.
- For m54-58 RH, I think it would make sense to fill out of the chords since this is a pretty powerful-sounding part of the track and the LH is only playing single notes most of the time. This would mean adding F# to m54 beat 3, A to m54 beat 4, the aforementioned changes to m55, B to m56 beats 2-3, G to m56 beat 4, F# to m58 beat 1, and B to m58 beat 3.
- m59 would look cleaner condensed into one layer, which wouldn't sacrifice anything because it's not possible to hold that half note during the chromatic scale anyway.
- For m60 beats 1-2, it would look better and more consistent with beats 3-4 if Layer 1 were flipped up and Layer 2 were flipped down (and the Layer 1 rests were placed above the staff).
- Crescendo in m67 could be lowered a bit.
- The crescendo/decrescendo should extend all the way to the barline in m59 and m67 since they continue into the next system.
- Forte in m61 should be moved up a bit so that it's aligned with the crescendo in m60.
- Dynamics in m69 and m73 should be moved a bit right; right now they're really close to the barline.
- On second thought, I think m69 would look clearer with the half rest shown... that's what I'll suggest now, but either way is okay.
- Courtesy flats for m63 LH?
- It sounds very abrupt for the octave to jump so suddenly from m62 LH beat 4 to m63 LH beat 1. I would suggest either raising m62 LH beats 4-4.5 an octave or lowering m63 LH an octave, i.e. pick an octave and stick with it.
- m64 RH beats 1-2 should use An instead of Ab.
- If you wanted to give m64 LH some more punch, you could add an F to LH beat 2.
- Just like m62 beat 4 to m63 beat 1, same note about being consistent with the LH octave from m64 LH beat 4 to m65. I would move m64 LH beats 4-4.5 down an octave; right now it sounds much higher than m65.
- Seems like m65 LH beat 2 bottom note should be Ab instead of G? Not sure where G comes from anywhere.
- m65-67 LH would be a looot easier if you transposed down the top notes on beats 2/4 down an octave...
- Any reason why m67 LH beat 4 doesn't have a D on top?
- m69 LH is inconsistent with the LH pattern in the surrounding measures... is there a reason for that? The low register sounds like it plays the same pattern throughout in the original, so it would make sense for these places to be like the other measures (e.g. single notes except for beats 2 and 4 which have octaves + fifth).
- m70/74 LH beat 4 sounds like it should use D instead of C; I think G is the root of the chord here, instead of it being an inversion of C minor.

With all that said, let me address this:
HOWEVER: If this song does need too much work for this sub period or if I shouldn't attempt something this higher of a skill level than what I got, please let me know.
Ultimately, I think this ended up being the case. This one is on us for not recognizing and acknowledging this at the start when you mentioned it in your post, but in general I think it would be better to focus on sheets that are less complex (especially ones with less hard-to-identify chords and more well defined accompaniment patterns, since chords and improvised accompaniment patterns are challenging in general). Sometimes your sheets have received a lot of feedback close to an update deadline, and it's true that it is on us to provide feedback in a timely manner, but it's also important to be cognizant of how much work some sheets might require if you attempt something above your skill level (and to be honest, a lot of tracks in general are above almost everyone's skill level). Looking back at the volume of feedback that Static and I gave on this sheet, I think it would be healthier and more productive for both you and us if you arrange tracks that are more accessible and can provide a better learning experience for you.

Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "Queen" by mastersuperfan
« on: October 01, 2021, 10:47:02 PM »
  • I mentioned this to Playful, but how should we standardize the copyright/composer text? The other Undertale/Deltarune tracks have Toby credited as Toby "Radiation" Fox, but the copyright is just Toby Fox. Also, would the year for Ch. 2 sheets be 2021, or would we change it to 2018, 2021 / 2018-2021 like how Undertale's copyright includes the demo year 2013 alongside the release year good point, I removed "Radiation" from the copyright. I think just 2021 is fine since this music only released with Chapter 2
  • missing dynamic done
  • m4 RH I hear an Ab on top I don't hear it personally
  • m8 LH I think there are low C's playing too but that's not a big deal anyways and would make it sound heavier yeah I'd like to keep F as the bottom note like in the original
  • m9/10 LH beat 4 I think there might be an additional C on top I'll pass since it makes the chord heavier and disrupts the voice leading, at least in my ears
  • m15/19/23/27 RH the half notes sounds like they only last a dotted quarter note long instead, although it's understandable if the precision isn't worth it yeah I didn't want to write them like that
  • m29 RH sounds like it could use a roll marking got
  • m30/34/38 RH beat 1 I hear an Eb here got
  • m32/40 RH beat 3 unsure but I hear an Ab too hmm I don't hear it
  • m42 I think it's worth including the Gn here, except in the RH instead of the LH like in m26 got

- I see what you're doing with the voicings in m32 RH, but the layering is a bit confusing and it hardly changes the way that someone would play it (not to mention that I think the voicings are arguably ambiguous in the original too)—I would strongly suggest condensing the RH into a single layer.
- Same goes for the layering in m37-39—it's really confusing because it looks like it's a single layer with five beats per measure. Also m40 LH beat 2 should be flipped down.
- The struck note on m42 RH beat 1 should probably be in its own layer; otherwise it's extremely easy to miss.
- Move the dynamic in m53 a little to the right (to be centered with the notehead) and a little down (so it's not so close to the RH beam).
- Dynamics in m69 and m73 are too close to the barline. Also, space could be widened between the staves in both places because there are near-collisions happening here (mp and stem in m69 and crescendo and beams in m72).
For M60 I kept the C octave as when Fitkah played it, he was able to do it. With that, if people can't play it, they can always just not play it imo.
- How did he play it? The problem is that it's physically impossible to play it as written, which makes it notationally ambiguous. If he only held it down for the duration of a sixteenth or eighth note then it might be more accurate to represent it as such.

I can get the tempo marking afterward.

Also, if there are any other suggestions that you chose not to incorporate besides the ones you mentioned in your previous post, it might be helpful if you could indicate which ones they were.

Looks great!

Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "Queen" by mastersuperfan
« on: September 30, 2021, 03:34:53 AM »

Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Deltarune - "Lost Girl" by mastersuperfan
« on: September 29, 2021, 08:49:57 PM »
There was some discussion of this one over Discord, but long story short I've chosen to keep the sheet mostly the same. I don't hear any of those notes in the LH in m9-14 and even if they were there, I strongly dislike the sound of it in the sheet because the low register is too prominent in a piano arrangement. I did cut down some of the 16th notes, and I added a mp to m9.

Project Archive / Re: Static's Colers Project Sheets
« on: September 27, 2021, 04:35:36 AM »

Project Archive / Re: Static's Colers Project Sheets
« on: September 27, 2021, 04:01:48 AM »
yeeeaahhh, baby!
- Thanks I hate the lack of space in the soundtrack title. Honestly I'd probably ignore it and add the space anyway but you do you.
- "Stylishly" the adverb instead of "Stylish" the adjective?
- Maybe staccatos on the eighth notes in RH layer 2?
- The note lengths in m20 sound shorter than how you have them now. Maybe turn the third chord into an untied 16th note + add staccatos to the other three chords?
- m23 LH beat 3.5 sounds like a 16th-note triplet (B#-C#-B#) instead of a grace note + eighth note. (Also m23 beats 3-4 should've been beamed but it won't matter anymore if you change it to a triplet)
- m25 LH beats 2.5-3.5 look painful, maybe raise the low notes up an octave?

Project Archive / Re: mastersuperfan's Color Sheets
« on: September 27, 2021, 03:29:14 AM »
...But there's no note there... The line is "ne-ver die." Even in the Japanese version it's just two syllables in m103, and while there's maybe a bit of a slight inflection at the end, you could say that about almost any note in this song. Now that I'm listening again, this also applies to m107-108. The vocal melody doesn't reach the next note until the downbeat of m108, not beat 4.5 of m107 - and the strings don't play on beat 4.5 either.
Even though she doesn't change syllables, she moves down to D on beat 4.5 of those measures.

All the other changes you made (or didn't make) look good. Regarding the piano solo, I hear beat 1.5 of m75 tied to beat 2 (i.e. as a quarter note). I also hear some additional/different notes in m77:

Makes sense, except I don't hear the A on beat 1; I think you might be getting that from the strings.

Project Archive / Re: mastersuperfan's Color Sheets
« on: September 26, 2021, 10:37:51 PM »
  • m103 RH beat 4.5: This sounds more like some chromatic grace notes in the violin instead of an 8th note. Starts on A and goes to F#. the eighth note is for the vocal line
  • m113 RH beat 4.5: There's an extra note here in the violins, you could add it if you want since it doesn't really get in the way of the melody. I'll pass, it makes it sound like a pickup to the melody
  • m125-126 LH: I get that you moved the A-D figure to the low register to transition better into m127, but the D-G-A figure at the end of m125 works fine in the original octave. I don't really see why it's moved down when nothing else was up to that point:

    (be sure to adjust those ties though) this image pretty much shows me everything I don't like about it lol. major second with the melody, LH sounds like it goes "missing" for a beat and then suddenly reappears with the low A... would rather not
  • m159 RH beat 1: I hear an F# under the G (Em9). this seems to be neither fun to play nor good sounding on piano
  • m160 RH: I think I hear an F# between the E and G in this run. I still don't
  • m160 RH: The chord is missing an E (Em7b5/Bb). apart from the fact that I don't think it sounds good in the high register, given the major second with the D, I also don't want the pianist to have to re-articulate the E so quickly
  • m161 RH beat 1: This first chord has a more closed voicing, D-E-G-Bb. I do hear the E but I still hear the G at the bottom
  • m161-162 RH: The rest of the chords are correct, but there's another voice that's also playing an E underneath, so you could add that voice if you wanted to. I don't hear any E's anywhere after m161 RH beat 1
  • Bassline stuff:
    • m7 LH beat 2.75: It sounds like there's an extra 16th note (D) here. I hear the Cn held for the entire eighth note
    • m17/19/etc. LH beat 3: I think it might be slightly more appropriate to use Cn here, since the underlying chord is a G7. It's probably fine either way though. this is why I had it originally as Fn/Cn, since the F#/C# felt more to me like the chromatic passing tones than the Fn/Cn did. I changed it back as long as you think that Fn instead of E# is also appropriate
    • m101 LH beat 1.5: This note should be F# instead of D. I chose D because I didn't want it to repeat the same note twice
    • m146 LH beat 2: The A sounds like it should be D. same as above
    • The singer hurts my ears same

This is quite a sheet! Really nice work.

Everything updated, except I still need to finish transcribing the guitar solo for m68-69, which I will do later today

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