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thanks

Couple of things I'm wondering:
- why
- At that speed, is that triplet at the end of m.8 necessary? It seems a bit odd compared to how ''''''straightforward'''''' the rhythm is in other places
m.28 - the first quarter note in the bass is looking a bit uncomfortable with the neighbouring quarter note in its personal space, could space it out a bit more evenly there.

- Sounds like you could add accents to some of the notes in the runs

Most of the chords and notes seem good just from a quick glance. The patterns make it easier, I suppose

Some accidental problems I noticed:
m.5 Db should be a C# (think about it melodically, not just avoiding the C# because you already have a C in F)
Similarly, m.17 Gb should be F#

Also, m.6 melody rhythm whoopsie there

I've only taken a brief look, but it seems pretty good. Will need to do a more thorough notecheck later, though

Single note tremolos should be fine with 1-2-3 fingering.
The double notes, however, would probably be better off written as a tremolo between two notes (there's a plugin for that!). Otherwise, it'd be very tiring as is.

You could also consider filling out the grace notes with the harmonizing notes from m.37-40 - it'd be perfectly alright if you have strong fingers. I can understand why you have it as is, though.

Perhaps you could change the accompaniment there too in m.34-41 too, then? As is, it sounds... a bit more active than the original, I suppose? That's all up to you, though.

For muting the piano and adding a percussion line in instead, I believe you could try adding a hidden dynamic marking that sets the key velocity to zero just for that part (or make a fake mp mark that actually sets the key velocity to zero). Then any other dynamic marking will set the key-velocity to a non-zero value you can actually hear stuff.

- Db's should be C#'s here
- It's very difficult to follow along, since it appears you haven't written in the part where the melody from m.3-m.6 repeats but with identical accompaniment
- m.7-8 shouldn't be written as a repeat: the two phrases are not identical, so you need to go back and rewrite that part. Likewise with m.9-12. The way you've written it down makes it difficult to follow the melody and I can't tell what you're doing there

In any case...

m.1- 3: sounds like the first chord's bass note is F, missing an Eb in the 2nd chord and an Ab in the first 2 chords
m.4,6, etc.: spell the Eb as a D#
m.16: sounds like there's a B missing in the G chord
m.19: It's a G7 chord, so you gotta add the F to it
m.24: looks like you forgot to harmonize the melody as in m.16
m.26 missing the G in the 2nd half of the measure (goes Dm - G7 - C)
m.28,30,32,34 - the guitar notes you have down don't look like what I hear. For m.28 I'm hearing more of C-B-C
m.32-33 needs to be harmonized

I'm not sure the effect used in m.6 would be easily replicated on piano, but a quarter note would be an easy way to get around it. If you decide to go with the current route, I'd add some stress or accent marks to the proper notes.

In m.8 I'm hearing the contour of the melody go Bb-Ab-Db, and I'm hearing an A instead of a D on the first beat of m.13

m.13 - 15: It looks like you're missing some of the wind instrument part (either that, or you didn't transcribe it correctly). In the original, I hear a G that leads into the Ab-Bb-G after the repeat.

Just a quick glance:
- m.3 sounds like you could add the triplet into the bass on beat 3
- I notice you simplified the rhythm somewhat, for playability reasons I suppose. At the given tempo, I wouldn't say it's too difficult to play, though.
- Also noticed how you neglect the bass in favour of playability, but incorporating a bit of the bass notes would help make the accompaniment more interesting
- Just to clarify, the sparse texture in m.45 is you adding a sort of "ending" by adding contrast to the beginning, right?
- I'd suggest adding the harp part to m.26-29 so you can contrast more with m.30

Just a couple of comments from a quick glance at it:
- m.11 you should break the beam on top in between the 16th triplet and the two 16th notes, leaving the bottom one
- m.12 measure number clashes with page number on pdf
- m.22 no need to switch to 4 sharps here (especially if it's only for one measure). Leave it in the original key, use a trill with a sharp on top
- m.20 your spelling here is kinda iffy, you should try spelling everything here in just flats
- m.22 would benefit from having a B in the bass like in the original, then you get a stronger dominant relationship with the repeat
- m.19 I wouldn't quite notate that with a grace note (comparing the speed of it to other places where you used a grace note). I believe your grace notes are supposed to have strokes, as well (to avoid confusing them with an appoggiatura) but I'll need someone else to double check that
- m.16 rhythm, seems like a place you forgot to fix
- m.2 and similar sections could use some dynamic indications. Currently implies it's all at the same volume, which isn't the case

Haven't yet notechecked, but it seems pretty accurate from what I've read

I have not many qualms with arrangements that are faithful to the original and keep as many layers as possible, however those tend to be awkward to play and sometimes too impractical to consider for recording.

i feel personally attacked


especially since my idea is a very atmospheric track that i love

I have an idea for something I might pitch in, but it's gonna be a difficult one for me to do

not texting or driving is the same as if texting then driving

you know too much

h

Fixed