For the person to receive what will almost certainly be the last section of feedback I give before my mission, "PIRAHNA PLANT, I CHOOSE YOU!"
- I'm in agreement on "Black Mist", that's the title I always see.
- In m2, 4, and similar, there's an extra bass drum hit on b3 that you could include if you wanted (I think it's a C)
- It sounds to me like m5 is louder than m1. I think starting on a mf is fine (you could also do mp if you'd like), but I think there should be a crescendo up to f by m5 either way.
- m7/15 b4.67 should have a Bn, not a Bb
- I also find myself in disagreement with the dynamic change at m21. It certainly doesn't sound quieter to me; if anything, it sounds even louder, but I'd leave it at forte myself.
- m23-27 LH It seems you accidentally inverted the b4 rhythm (triplets vs. 8ths/16ths)
- As far as the slurs go, I definitely think they're warranted for the lower voice of the RH, but I'm not so sure about the upper voice. It sounds like there's still some staccatos in this section of the melody. Either way, the slurs could use some adjusting to prevent the intersections with the "3" on the triplets.
This is certainly a great arrangement of a great song. Upon my return I shall most certainly enjoy playing it!
- I'm in agreement on "Black Mist", that's the title I always see.
- In m2, 4, and similar, there's an extra bass drum hit on b3 that you could include if you wanted (I think it's a C)
- It sounds to me like m5 is louder than m1. I think starting on a mf is fine (you could also do mp if you'd like), but I think there should be a crescendo up to f by m5 either way.
- m7/15 b4.67 should have a Bn, not a Bb
- I also find myself in disagreement with the dynamic change at m21. It certainly doesn't sound quieter to me; if anything, it sounds even louder, but I'd leave it at forte myself.
- m23-27 LH It seems you accidentally inverted the b4 rhythm (triplets vs. 8ths/16ths)
- As far as the slurs go, I definitely think they're warranted for the lower voice of the RH, but I'm not so sure about the upper voice. It sounds like there's still some staccatos in this section of the melody. Either way, the slurs could use some adjusting to prevent the intersections with the "3" on the triplets.
This is certainly a great arrangement of a great song. Upon my return I shall most certainly enjoy playing it!