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Messages - Whoppybones

#1
For the person to receive what will almost certainly be the last section of feedback I give before my mission, "PIRAHNA PLANT, I CHOOSE YOU!" ;)
 - I'm in agreement on "Black Mist", that's the title I always see.
 - In m2, 4, and similar, there's an extra bass drum hit on b3 that you could include if you wanted (I think it's a C)
 - It sounds to me like m5 is louder than m1. I think starting on a mf is fine (you could also do mp if you'd like), but I think there should be a crescendo up to f by m5 either way.
 - m7/15 b4.67 should have a Bn, not a Bb
 - I also find myself in disagreement with the dynamic change at m21. It certainly doesn't sound quieter to me; if anything, it sounds even louder, but I'd leave it at forte myself.
 - m23-27 LH It seems you accidentally inverted the b4 rhythm (triplets vs. 8ths/16ths)
 - As far as the slurs go, I definitely think they're warranted for the lower voice of the RH, but I'm not so sure about the upper voice. It sounds like there's still some staccatos in this section of the melody. Either way, the slurs could use some adjusting to prevent the intersections with the "3" on the triplets.

This is certainly a great arrangement of a great song. Upon my return I shall most certainly enjoy playing it! ;D
#2
Much thanks for that!
 - Despite thinking that 2 would sound weirder, I actually preferred it over option 1. I still hear the voice I removed, though since both of you don't perhaps that one's not as necessary to include as I first considered it to be.
 - I have been convinced to remove the lower octave. On a slower relisten (to try and prove myself right, haha), I actually didn't hear it as clearly as I had before, so I removed it and transferred system 1's bassline into system 2 and 4.
 - m8/16 I originally left this out because it didn't sound staccato nor legato, but upon a really slow listen, I hear the legato on b4 but not the staccato on b4.5. As such, I added the slur but not the staccato.
 - m13-16 I hear it a bit clearer now. I still don't think it's all that critical to the song, but I added it in nonetheless.
 - m17-20 I went with the parentheses. It sounds totally bland without the Es there, but I have marked them as optional so those who (unlike me) don't use excessive pedaling and those without an absurdly large handspan can know what to leave out.
 - m21-24 Done.
 - m21-28 You right. Articulation has been added.
#3
 - By the guitar line I meant whatever instrument it is that plays the G below middle C for the first few measures. If you don't hear it though, that's perfectly fine.
 - Something else I noticed: In most measures, the rhythm of the bassline has b4 as a 16 tied to a dotted 8, not a quarter note.
#4
I was initially sus of that twitter post just cuz the lengths of songs were quite different, but after (being told to and then actually) taking another look and watching a YT vid of each difficulty, I found only one version of the song in the whole level. That means there's only ONE remix version, and that's the multiplayer level. As such, the song name and composer information have been adjusted. ;D
#5
Well then, seeing as no one's given feedback here in a while and I'm finally feeling brave enough to attempt reviewing this piece, I shall leave some feedback myself. Here goes:
 - m25 b2.5 RH I also hear an F (in the trumpet line)
 - m28 section: This is probably the official piano version influencing me, but is there a reason you decided to leave out the plucked violins entirely? iirc with the official version they used the violin part as the left hand but left out the cello version entirely. I think the cello notes will definitely be beneficial to the arrangement, but trying to work in some of those violin harmonies in the left hand would likely help it feel less empty.
Additionally, I feel that some of the notes in the RH are held for a bit longer than they should be (some of the whole notes seem more like dotted eighths and I don't think the half notes should be tied to the eighth notes in the even measures, for example).
 - m34 b2.5 LH should be another An, not an F
 - m36 I'm curious: Is there a reason you left out the upper Eb?
 - m42/43 LH There's never any clear restrikes here and in the original it's tremolo'd all the way through, so I'm curious as to why you wrote it out this way.
 - m50-52 LH The octaves you decided to make these chords seems to be inconsistent, so I was hoping you could explain why you chose the ones you did.
 - m54 LH There's another Eb on b3 like in the preceding measures. It's quiet, but it's there. Additionally, in m45, the first Eb should be a half note and I don't hear the second one
 - m56-63 I know Lat talked about including different voices and you mentioned not being super familiar with that. Idk the best way to help, but in the official version, they chose to include the plucked viola notes as the LH. I agree more with your choice here, tbh. However, I think the bowed string instruments should be added into the RH to make it a bit more full.
 - m64 b4 LH I think I hear a grace note. No clue what it is nor if it should necessarily be added into the piece, but I figured I'd point it out.

I shall end my notes there with the exception of the fact that the ritardando in the final measure needs to be lowered. This is definitely a wonderful sheet and I hope to be able to play it one day! ;D
#6
Request / Re: [SWITCH] Breath of the Wild - Selmie's Spot
December 20, 2022, 08:08:41 PM
Psst. A YouTube link helps greatly to 1) ensure people don't accidentally choose the wrong song to arrange and 2) allow people to quickly listen to see if they want to arrange it. Not in a position I can find a link myself rn, but I recommend finding the song you mean and then editing it into your post. Trust me, it'll be very helpful should it be a while before it gets arranged (which is highly likely, as you'll see if you look at how many pages of requests there are). ;D
#7
Ah yes. I meant to mention that in my last post. Notepad refused to leave the breaks where they were after Kricketune moved 'em for me, so I figured I'd leave them be until the end of the process. If someone would be willing to do that right before they accept the sheet, that'd be lovely. And thanks for the reminder Xiao. ;D
#8
Xiao's feedback (discussed over Discord):
 - Left the LH voice in to prevent a feeling of emptiness. Marcatos were adjusted
 - Articulation added to systems 2 and 4
 - I don't actually hear a difference between the second and fourth systems, so if there is one I don't really think it's significant enough for me to change notation.
 - I left it as is and trust that the performer will do what they feel best.
 - I really liked that idea as it got that in without making it clash with the other layer. It has been added.

Yug's and Kricketune's feedback: I was looking at Zophar's Domain after reading Yug's post but before Kricketune posted, and I too agree that "Frigate X" is a better name than "Multiplayer 13". I was going to ask for a second opinion but then Kricketune gave it to me! :D File names and stuff have been changed. As a side note, I am unable to modify my opening post here, so if needed I'd appreciate if someone else would modify that to display the newly decided name.

Thanks for the prompt feedback, guys!
#9
YouTube link

Some notes:
 - The official title for this song (according to khinsider) is "Multiplayer 13".
 - I know my choice in which voices I leave out is a bit inconsistent, but I did my best to keep the overall feel of the song. You're welcome to suggest alternatives, but I'm fairly happy with where those are at.
 - I know my other current arrangement is quite long and won't be done by the end of the month, so I'm REALLY hoping I can get this one done. I promise I'll be as prompt as I can with my responses to feedback, and I'd love it if y'all would be willing to promptly give feedback. :D And to those who say there's no way this gets done by December 31st, "I can dream, Harold!"
#10
Haven't heard the rest of the ost, but at least this song is fun! This seems like a wonderful arrangement to me. I don't hear a lot of the chords you included, but I know that there's notes existing in the background that I don't hear well. Because of that, I will make no comment on your harmonies. I will, however, respond to the points you've made.

m8, 11, 21 - The cadences you have in the left hand sound great, but I would suggest leaning more into the guitar lines to make them different from each other. Here's about what I heard (8 and 11 are the first measure, 21 is the second):
Spoiler
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Note that I moved everything up an octave because I felt that might help to differentiate it from the rest of the bassline and give it a bit more oomph, but feel free to mess around with that. ;)
m9, 10 - I presume you're referring to not hearing a 7th below the RH top note, yes? Those notes do play an octave lower in the LH as a 9th from the bottom note, and they sound great where you put them. I have no concerns there.
Ties - I agree that they look a bit wonky. I think it's mostly the middle ties that look strange to me, though the bottom ones might as well if the middle ones were adjusted. Not really certain what they're supposed to look like myself, but they do look weird.

Overall, I think this arrangement is great myself. I don't really have any other pointers. Great job, Levi! :D
#11
Submission Center / Re: Replacement Initiative
December 08, 2022, 03:07:24 PM
I claim (and have finished) [N64] Goldeneye 007 - Multiplayer. Note that the proper title of this is actually "Multiplayer 13" (didn't even know there WERE that many until I'd researched the name). 'Twas a fun song and I'm hopeful that this song can be accepted before I leave since it's significantly less complicated than my other one. ;D
#12
Super Paper Mario's "Overthere Stair" should be "The Overthere" based on this source
#13
Radial, I listened to both of the YT links you provided (phone said the drive file had an issue tho). I can now hear why you think there's an upper A, and maybe there is, but I feel like it flows a lot better with the A where it's at. The downward motion feels so natural to me and I feel like adding in another A, while maybe accurate, would make it feel different. As an implementation note it could be included with parentheses or a small note head to mark it as optional if your feelings on this remain the same, Latios and Nine Lives.
#14
I'd prefer changing m62's D# into an Eb over changing m60's Fn into an E#. Idk what those chords are supposed to be but it would make the RH have consistent intervals and (imo) look more like a normal chord than the other way round. :)
#15
Significantly more changes have been made as Bloop was kind enough to continue providing feedback via Discord. We've now gone over everything (unless there's a hidden section I don't know about, lol), so the sheet should be at least playable now should anyone desire to attempt it. Thanks again, Bloop! ;D