[NDS] Pokémon Black Version & Pokémon White Version - "Title Screen" by goldenscruff

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Black Version & Pokémon White Version
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Title Screen
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: goldenscruff

[goldenscruff]

Welcome to the piece where the melody is almost never in the top RH.

The Ties in m24 I don't think I can fix in notepad.

This is a fast tempo, so lmk if anythings too hard. (Repeated notes m5-8, octaves m14,m22)

[goldenscruff]

In m34-37 I was planning on doing some cross stave beaming to show the melody in the LH, but it doesn't look that feasible in NotePad

[Kricketune54]

Sorry for a bit of a wait here.

• Both composer names could fit on one line. And can be written Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose
• Lowercase the "by" in "Arranged by"
• bars 1-5 look scrunched up currently. Overall, I think 4-3-3-3-4 could be a better measure/system distribution for this piece.
• for the pickup measure, there is a second line of notes you could add to the LH, or at the very least the drum part leading into m1.
    •  Speaking of which, the pickup measure should be separated from the rest of the measure count (I will refer to measure #'s as is though)
• It's very hard to tell but I think m2-4 the first note is a Cb.
• m5 RH beat 4.66 I hear a Cn 8th note as a pickup into m6
• m6 second layer I hear the following screenshot (can clean up layers a bit)

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• In m7 RH 2nd layer I hear the Fn restrike twice with the Fn and Cn above it on beats 2.33 and 2.66. Then for beat 3 to end it sounds like the notes played by this clarinet part are just an octave down from the melody.
• m8 RH I would recommend just writing this as a single layer, the dotted quarter note can just be a quarter note
• m9 You could add a trill to beat 3 Fn.
• m10-11 RH I am not sure I hear the notes you have outside of the last two 8th notes of each measure. What are the other RH notes based off of, partwise?
• m11 LH very subtle but on beat 2.66 I hear a separate Eb leading into beat 3
• m12 RH beat 1 you could add a trill to this note
• m14-15 LH you probably could work in a second layer, similar to m12-13

[goldenscruff]

• Both composer names could fit on one line. And can be written Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose
• Lowercase the "by" in "Arranged by"
•  Speaking of which, the pickup measure should be separated from the rest of the measure count (I will refer to measure #'s as is though)
• m8 RH I would recommend just writing this as a single layer, the dotted quarter note can just be a quarter note
• m9 You could add a trill to beat 3 Fn.
• m12 RH beat 1 you could add a trill to this note

Added/Fixed

• bars 1-5 look scrunched up currently. Overall, I think 4-3-3-3-4 could be a better measure/system distribution for this piece.

Changed to 4-3-3-4-3, as m11-12 is better for squishing 4 bars a system than m13-16.

• for the pickup measure, there is a second line of notes you could add to the LH, or at the very least the drum part leading into m1.

I've added both, with the LH drum being more achievable. The second line in the RH is very virtuosic so it is in small notes.

• It's very hard to tell but I think m2-4 the first note is a Cb.

I'm pretty sure its an F. I at least don't hear a symmetric Cb Eb Cb on 0.5x speed

• m5 RH beat 4.66 I hear a Cn 8th note as a pickup into m6

I'm not quite hearing a Cn, I can hear an arpeggio leading up to m6 m5, is it part of that?

• m6 second layer I hear the following screenshot (can clean up layers a bit)
• In m7 RH 2nd layer I hear the Fn restrike twice with the Fn and Cn above it on beats 2.33 and 2.66. Then for beat 3 to end it sounds like the notes played by this clarinet part are just an octave down from the melody.

I don't hear the Gn in your screenshot but there were major discrepancies, so I've taken a much closer look at those bars. I think the LH is F root not C root, but either inversion with an F root doesn't capture the accents in m6 well.

• m10-11 RH I am not sure I hear the notes you have outside of the last two 8th notes of each measure. What are the other RH notes based off of, partwise?

RH is based off of arpegiating high strings playing quaver chords. The strings are a lot less prominent in the actual recording than I expected. (I have been cross referencing a MIDI dump, might not do that again). They can also be heard vibing on the same chord m1-4.

• m10 LH very subtle but on beat 2.66 I hear a separate Eb leading into beat 3

Good catch. I hear it on b2.5 like the An in m9.

• m14-15 LH you probably could work in a second layer, similar to m12-13

Added the strings in m14-15. The bass in m12-13 also can and has been added in a few other bars.

[Kricketune54]

Changed to 4-3-3-4-3, as m11-12 is better for squishing 4 bars a system than m13-16.

Okay, I agree with this choice. Maybe could move some stuff around in m13 at a later date so the LH doesn't look so bunched up.

I've added both, with the LH drum being more achievable. The second line in the RH is very virtuosic so it is in small notes.

Yeah let's go with that. Initial thought was to indicate LH could be used for those notes

I'm pretty sure its an F. I at least don't hear a symmetric Cb Eb Cb on 0.5x speed

Was quite tough for me to hear that, but I agree with you now on F.

I'm not quite hearing a Cn, I can hear an arpeggio leading up to m6 m5, is it part of that?

Okay this looks/sounds correct.

I don't hear the Gn in your screenshot but there were major discrepancies, so I've taken a much closer look at those bars. I think the LH is F root not C root, but either inversion with an F root doesn't capture the accents in m6 well.

Okay - said G I do hear in the LH but I think as you have the two RH layers makes sense. Also another note for myself the top ties on m6 RH beat 1 should be flipped upwards, given there is no visible 2nd layer.

RH is based off of arpegiating high strings playing quaver chords. The strings are a lot less prominent in the actual recording than I expected. (I have been cross referencing a MIDI dump, might not do that again). They can also be heard vibing on the same chord m1-4.
 

Ah gotcha. Yeah generally would not recommend using midi dumps just because of the potential unreliable quality.  I do think the arpeggiating makes sense with your explanation.

Added the strings in m14-15. The bass in m12-13 also can and has been added in a few other bars.

This looks good!


• m8 this trill can be shown as a dotted half note.
• m10 LH ties need to be flipped around a bit (bottom ones flipped down from current position, beat 1, and beat 3 flip up the top one)
• m12 LH could move the whole note dot a bit up and left so it doesn't look like a staccato on the half note.
• m13 RH beat 4 I hear a trill on the Fn
• m16 LH will need to make sure fingering numbers are same font.
• m20 RH beat 1 I hear notes

[goldenscruff]

• m8 this trill can be shown as a dotted half note.

This is intended to be a trill for a dotted crotchet, then held for the last dotted crotchet, as the line fades out.

• m20 RH beat 1 I hear notes

There is a string arpeggio that I'm not adding. I originally omitted Eb Gb b1 in RH for playability, but the fingering is okay, so will add that in next update. (I only want to add pedal lines with the line tool so many times).

• m16 LH will need to make sure fingering numbers are same font.

Do you know how to paste between notepad files so that page layouts don't get messed up/define an articulation, because then I could fix it my end.

• m13 RH beat 4 I hear a trill on the Fn

I hear maybe an accent but not a trill/extra notes that I haven't already notated.

[Kricketune54]

This is intended to be a trill for a dotted crotchet, then held for the last dotted crotchet, as the line fades out.

To me it sounds like the trill continues through the end of the measure. You could add a decres., which might make sense given how quiet part that is the current RH is anyway (maybe decresc. but go back to mf at m9 for the RH)

There is a string arpeggio that I'm not adding. I originally omitted Eb Gb b1 in RH for playability, but the fingering is okay, so will add that in next update. (I only want to add pedal lines with the line tool so many times).

Yes that Eb Gb is what I meant that you have ommitted. I don't think it's that difficult to go from last note of m19 to those beat 1 notes.
Some other stuff at m19-20:
• m19 RH beat 2.66 hearing Bb not Ab
• m20 beat 3-4 I don't hear those lower octave Ab's.

Do you know how to paste between notepad files so that page layouts don't get messed up/define an articulation, because then I could fix it my end.

I'm not sure about pasting between notepad files unfortunately. It might be a matter we can just table for later in the approval process.

I hear maybe an accent but not a trill/extra notes that I haven't already notated.

Slowing this part down I do hear that pitch in question go F-G-F like a trill still.

More bits
• Noting for future ties in m6 RH need to be flipped around (and m23, m52 and m54 as well)
• m7 not sure if you can do this in any conversion but for the triplet notes on beat 4 (currently in bottom staff) I would add dashed lines (like m29 in this example ) to indicate the notes are progressing. It also might be clearer to have those notes in the top staff, and just add "LH" underneath to indicate it's meant to be played by LH. Could do similar for m8 beat 2 as well.
• Also m7 splitting F's into two layers in the LH would look cleaner.
• m9-10 LH  beat 2.5  you could add staccato here (yes it's dotted notes but I think it makes sense here)
• m14 LH I would split two layers so the progression of the Eb to Bb is a bit easier to see (could have different direction stems)

[goldenscruff]

To me it sounds like the trill continues through the end of the measure. You could add a decres., which might make sense given how quiet part that is the current RH is anyway (maybe decresc. but go back to mf at m9 for the RH)

I'm only playing the trill for 1.66 beats, but it is cleaner as a minum.

• m19 RH beat 2.66 hearing Bb not Ab

Someone didn't read their midi dump properly.

• m20 beat 3-4 I don't hear those lower octave Ab's.

Someone got suggestion biased by their midi dump. (This mistake is the one I'm worrying about more, with midi dumps)

Slowing this part down I do hear that pitch in question go F-G-F like a trill still

I can't hear the trill, but even if there was one there, the mordents on the crochets are already barely playable, I'm not sure how playable the trill would be at double speed.
The trill you hear is separate from the strings descending chromatically? (like in m9)

Add the more bits except the flipped ties.

[Kricketune54]

I'm only playing the trill for 1.66 beats, but it is cleaner as a minum.

What do you mean by a minum? Overall, I think this makes it a bit clearer, and I'm fine with the Bb additions in the second layer

Someone didn't read their midi dump properly.Someone got suggestion biased by their midi dump. (This mistake is the one I'm worrying about more, with midi dumps)

Cannot stress enough that midi dumps are not a reliable reference point. Generally we recommend if something seems too difficult to hear/arrange, that arrangers should either seek assistance from community/other arrangers (if they are aware of issues), or to work on arrangements that are less difficult.

I can't hear the trill, but even if there was one there, the mordents on the crochets are already barely playable, I'm not sure how playable the trill would be at double speed.The trill you hear is separate from the strings descending chromatically? (like in m9)

I am hearing the trill in the flute part, which is the part notated.

• m7 LH you could combine the beat 3 dotted half rests (only show one), but alternatively I think the better path might be to do the following:

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let's get rid of some of the hand guidance's, and use dotted lines to show the way the notes are a part of the same rhythm. I would also re-add the m8 LH rest. Although it's still pictured, I don't think the slur is exactly necessary between m7-8. 
• m14 can hide this LH beat 4 rest, will need to move around stuff on beat 3 so it's not overlapping (note to self)

[goldenscruff]

I am hearing the trill in the flute part, which is the part notated.

I will wait for a third opinion.

m7-8 I'm not quite sure what you wanted with the rests etc. I've gone back to version 2 but added solid lines. I can't make dotted lines in notepad, and the dotted lines that I can import are restricted to being horizontal only.
The slur made more sense when I wasn't splitting the part between hands.

[Kricketune54]

I will wait for a third opinion.

Okay can do on that.

m7-8 I'm not quite sure what you wanted with the rests etc. I've gone back to version 2 but added solid lines. I can't make dotted lines in notepad, and the dotted lines that I can import are restricted to being horizontal only.
The slur made more sense when I wasn't splitting the part between hands.

What you have is generally what I was thinking of, can just swap the solid lines for dotted/dashed ones later.

• m7 LH 2nd voice not sure why I didn't spot this sooner but you could just combine these notes into a dotted half note
• m16 thoughts on changing beat 3-4 of the RH to the notes that are currently in the LH for those beats? And then just making the LH a Bb like what is heard in the original.
• m17-19 RH been thinking about this particular section, but I would suggest making the LH part a bit more in line with the bassline and moving the melody back up to the RH/original octaves. Main reason I'm suggesting this is because I think the parts that are currently represented in the RH are not as prominent and it doesn't make sense to shift the melody octave for them.
• m32 LH going to suggest removing upper notes on each half note and doing maybe something like this:

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. Currently it just sounds a little off with those upper notes
• m34 LH hearing a Dn on beat 4.5 maybe you could make that in the 1st voice (change from whole note to dotted half tied to an 8th note on 4.0)
• m39 RH 1.5 is a Db

[goldenscruff]

• m7 LH 2nd voice not sure why I didn't spot this sooner but you could just combine these notes into a dotted half note

m7 It is split that way so the pedaling directions are clear.

• m16 thoughts on changing beat 3-4 of the RH to the notes that are currently in the LH for those beats? And then just making the LH a Bb like what is heard in the original.
• m34 LH hearing a Dn on beat 4.5 maybe you could make that in the 1st voice (change from whole note to dotted half tied to an 8th note on 4.0)

Added. I'm not sure if there is a Gb in the LH on b1.0 m35, but there is a kick drum, I've kept it in for now

• m17-19 RH been thinking about this particular section, but I would suggest making the LH part a bit more in line with the bassline and moving the melody back up to the RH/original octaves. Main reason I'm suggesting this is because I think the parts that are currently represented in the RH are not as prominent and it doesn't make sense to shift the melody octave for them.

m17-19 I'm not sure what you mean here. The melody is in its original octave here (I put it up an octave m21 because of the trumpet that comes in), and I'm not sure what part of the bass line you want me to add that the LH isn't already playing.

• m32 LH going to suggest removing upper notes on each half note and doing maybe something like this:

m32 I hear the Db Fb line as prominent, so I wanted that to be the top voice. The Bb on b3 can go into the RH if you are worried about the minor 9th.

. Currently it just sounds a little off with those upper notes

The upper notes are diads in the original. I only did the top note of them because adding the bottom note would likely be too crowded with the melody and the hands. I can look into that if you want.

• m39 RH 1.5 is a Db

Correct, but the LH is playing the same note on b1.0. I couldn't get the melody to sound connected when playing a Db in the RH there so I tweaked it to an Eb so the rhythm is still there.

[cashwarrior1]

Sorry for the wait!

m7 It is split that way so the pedaling directions are clear.

I think it confuses things just a little bit and having the b1 quarter notes be staccato with a dotted half note in the second layer would communicate that just as well.

m17-19 I'm not sure what you mean here. The melody is in its original octave here (I put it up an octave m21 because of the trumpet that comes in), and I'm not sure what part of the bass line you want me to add that the LH isn't already playing.

I think the melody should be an octave higher (there are trumpets playing the melody and they are definitely not playing that low) and could split between both hands. Though I also think what you have represents the melody and bass just fine so that's up to you.

m32 I hear the Db Fb line as prominent, so I wanted that to be the top voice. The Bb on b3 can go into the RH if you are worried about the minor 9th.

I think it sounds a little too muddy where they are now, this section is supposed to feel lighter and these half notes fill up the upper range compositionally. There's a string line starting in the previous measure going Db-Eb-G-Bb, and that movement is what helps it feel lighter. With how it's voiced currently, that part is an octave lower doesn't have that feeling. All this to say, I think the G on b1 should be moved up an octave and both the Bb and Fb on b3 up an octave with how they're voiced currently.

Correct, but the LH is playing the same note on b1.0. I couldn't get the melody to sound connected when playing a Db in the RH there so I tweaked it to an Eb so the rhythm is still there.

For what it's worth, I think it would actually sound just fine with completely removing that note, the extra silence brings attention to the melody and the piece is "slowing down" here anyways.

I will wait for a third opinion.

I also hear the trill.. but I also think it'd be difficult to play so its up to you.

• m20 rh b1.33 - I'm hearing the top trumpet line move up to Bb here (could omit the bottom Eb for playability).
• m21 rh b4 - I'm hearing the strings play an F-C dyad here. I'm also hearing a lower F on b3 here that could be placed in the lh.
• m23 rh b1 - Thoughts on including a Db in this chord for more impact?
• m34 rh b 4.5 - I'm hearing an Eb harmonizing the melody (its not an awkward hand movement either).
• m46 rh - The notes for the arpeggio are not entirely correct, I'm hearing it like this.
  
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  The melody is going to get a little lost but the top line is still there, and its also very much playable.
• m52 lh b4 - Thoughts on repeating the Eb-Bb-Eb here to represent the crash? The bass doesn't play this but I think it'll be a cool effect.
• m55 - Any reason why the quarter-eighth rhythm isn't represented here?

[goldenscruff]

I think it confuses things just a little bit and having the b1 quarter notes be staccato with a dotted half note in the second layer would communicate that just as well.

For what it's worth, I think it would actually sound just fine with completely removing that note, the extra silence brings attention to the melody and the piece is "slowing down" here anyways.

m34 rh b 4.5 - I'm hearing an Eb harmonizing the melody (its not an awkward hand movement either).

m52 lh b4 - Thoughts on repeating the Eb-Bb-Eb here to represent the crash? The bass doesn't play this but I think it'll be a cool effect.

Fixed/Added

I also hear the trill.. but I also think it'd be difficult to play so its up to you.

I finally heard the trill, like once. Still don't think it is very playable, I've added a grace note which I think is a good compromise.

I think the melody should be an octave higher (there are trumpets playing the melody and they are definitely not playing that low) and could split between both hands. Though I also think what you have represents the melody and bass just fine so that's up to you.

I don't think the trumpets are playing the melody here (its the lower horns) and I hear the trumpets play what I have in the RH currently. I do hear them m18 on the melody so I doubled it there.

All this to say, I think the G on b1 should be moved up an octave and both the Bb and Fb on b3 up an octave with how they're voiced currently.

How about I move the whole thing up an octave? I still hear Db Fb as main movement, and now it encloses the Eb of m33.

m20 rh b1.33 - I'm hearing the top trumpet line move up to Bb here (could omit the bottom Eb for playability).

I'm not hearing the trumpets go up. Might be some harmonics with bass Bb, volume/accent shenanigans or drums.

m21 rh b4 - I'm hearing the strings play an F-C dyad here. I'm also hearing a lower F on b3 here that could be placed in the lh.

Did you mean b2 for the LH F? Added the F-C Diad.

m23 rh b1 - Thoughts on including a Db in this chord for more impact?

The FF is there for the impact. I think a Db there takes away too much of the grand openness, Ab fits better, but I'm not sold on this.

m46 rh - The notes for the arpeggio are not entirely correct, I'm hearing it like this.

Those notes are actually the harmony in m0 huh. I swapped the middle two notes of the arpeggio so the melody comes through.

m55 - Any reason why the quarter-eighth rhythm isn't represented here?

What rhythm are you talking about, is it just played in the drums? I can add it to the bottom note of the left hand. I was also thinking if I should add some stuff to m17-24 for the snare drum, only m21-22 needs it tbh.
m25 I corrected the hand marker directions. The Ebs could also be put in the LH staff, but it breaks the visual flow of the melody too much for me. (It's not like there's quaver stem lines showing you its part of the same line)

I just noticed m6 should have a courtesy accidental Ab, and there is extra rest in m8 that I will add in the next revision.