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Author Topic: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Mist Continent: Noe Town" by Zeila  (Read 393 times)

Zeta

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Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon
Game: Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Mist Continent: Noe Town
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Zeila
« Last Edit: July 24, 2019, 02:05:08 AM by Zeila »
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Zeila

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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2019, 06:48:18 AM »

the ending might be too awkward to play
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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2019, 12:34:04 AM »

I'm hearing this as 6/8 instead of 3/4. There are a lot of instances where the melody splits each measure into two divisions (e.g. m2, m4, m7, m11-12, m16-17, m20, m22, m29-30), or the left hand (m6, m15, m17, m23). In m26-28 and m37-40, the right-hand chords change halfway through each measure, suggestive of 6/8. While, on paper, some of the rhythms seem to fall nicely in 3/4 (e.g. m19-22 LH), those strongly come across as syncopation to me and not an indication of 3/4. I know that 6/8 vs. 3/4 has a history of not being agreed upon on this site (especially when it comes to me), but I would suggest taking another listen.
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Zeila

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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2019, 11:05:46 PM »

Yeah, that does fit more. I changed it now
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InsigTurtle

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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2019, 07:22:11 AM »

for m.17-18, i'd suggest making those music box notes an octave higher or so, just so you get that timbral contrast, also i'm hearing that line go "C D G"
in the ending, you could actually move the harp line up an octave and have the LH do the double thirds
m.1 i'm thinking the bass actually starts at that C3, then hops down as you have there. so the C's in m.3-5 should actually be C3 -> C2 -> C3 as it hops up and down
i'm not sure if i'd use the glissando in m.28, since on a piano you can really do either a white key or a black key glissando, and so the F you'd hit by the white key glissando implied wouldn't go well with the F# in the treble

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Zeila

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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2019, 07:01:55 AM »

for m.17-18, i'd suggest making those music box notes an octave higher or so, just so you get that timbral contrast, also i'm hearing that line go "C D G"
I'm not sure what you're talking about. If you mean the melody itself, I'm not hearing that

in the ending, you could actually move the harp line up an octave and have the LH do the double thirds
I think it is more accurate this way too. Done

Thanks for checking it over! Everything else was fixed
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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2019, 12:28:29 AM »

No, not the melody, it's the other voice that you've got in there
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Zeila

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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2019, 02:46:21 AM »

I changed the F to a C then
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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2019, 03:13:18 AM »

Great choice of song! Sorry for the wait.

There are a couple of major things I'm seeing with this one. The foremost one is the use of inconsistent accompaniment textures. The original song maintains a more or less uniform kind of sound, but your left hand parts create a wild variety of different textures high and low, thick and thin. That's not a bad thing in itself but I feel like some transitions are jarring and things feel like they're missing in some places. One thing I want to point out in particular is how low some parts sound. Places like 33-35 muddy up the texture far more than they should. The chords in m. 19+ create a really dense low sound, far more so than the original. Do the low octaves in the beginning section really contribute anything? Other than that, there are things like the bass movement missing in m. 23-24, and the viability of the continuous dyads on piano (especially considering the low difficulty of the rest of the sheet.

I just wanted to throw some things out there; let me know if you want suggestions on writing these parts out. I've definitely got some ideas.

Other things at a glance:
- Title should be Mist Continent: Noe Town
- Space after first comma in composer info
- Flip the top layer down in m. 7 to show the contour of the phrase better.
- I think m. 8 makes more sense with a G in the bass even if it's somewhat questionably there in the original
- Measure 14 implies a pedal lift at the beginning, whereas it should be held from the previous measure. Could sustain the notes to be clear about it.
- Measure 17 is missing the end (B) of the phrase preceding it
- Layers should be separated in m. 32 to end the preceding phrase as well

Also, as a side note, use this playlist instead for referencing Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon stuff. It's got better sound quality and I also noticed the video you posted loops improperly.
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Zeila

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Re: [3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Noe Town" by Zeila
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2019, 07:25:34 PM »

Sorry, I got kind of sidetracked so this was updated later than planned. Thank you for looking it over and for discussing part of it on Discord! It should look neater than before and the sixteenth note runs were just simplified to the top layer. I also separated the bass and the harp part from m29-35, although if it's still too muddy then the bass part can be raised an octave

Also, as a side note, use this playlist instead for referencing Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon stuff. It's got better sound quality and I also noticed the video you posted loops improperly.
Also, thanks for the link! It does sound much nicer
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Latios212

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Ah, this looks MUCH MUCH better in every regard - presentation, engraving, arrangement. Thanks for all the effort you put into it! I know I asked a lot of you.

The only significant change I would further suggest in the arrangement is writing the harmony below the melody in m. 29+. I do feel it gets overshadows by the chords above it as written, and there's sufficient space on beat 1 to move them down while the left hand plays the low bass notes.

Now that there's nothing major left to change, the polish!
- Not sure if I'm imagining it, but is there a high G (could write it as an octave perhaps) striking in the middle of m. 18 to end off the phrase on top?
- I think there shouldn't be a G on top of the chord in m. 19
- Really odd, I was going to suggest that m. 21 be a Cmaj7 chord like m. 19 but the B seems nowhere to be found... unless I'm listening wrong...
- I think the chord in m. 25 would be better with the F# (major 7th) instead of G in it
- Last RH note in m. 26 - supposed to be an E?
- I'm having a hard time trying to pin down the left hand part past the first couple of notes in m. 26/28 in the original, did you fill in those notes based on the chord present or are they there and I'm just not hearing them right now?
- Left hand sounds good in m. 29+. The bass is missing some movement in m. 33-34 though.

And finally, all I have left are some nitpicky visual things.
- Move the eighth rest up in m. 14 to not collide with the ties. Also I think the dotted line isn't needed here because visually it's already so close.
- Finale's default printer will screw up pp dynamics for some reason (check the PDF, they're shifted left). Use an external printer instead.
- For measures that start with a rolled chord, try adding some space at the beginning because Finale doesn't automatically make space for the wavy lines. Double click the measure and try adding something like 0.06 to "Extra Space at Beginning" and see if that looks good after moving the wavy lines left a bit.
- The parentheses in m. 33 aren't at the right height. Finale can be pretty finicky when trying to put parentheses on notes with ledger lines in layers; let me know if you can't get it to work right after toying with it a bit
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Zeila

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Ah, this looks MUCH MUCH better in every regard - presentation, engraving, arrangement. Thanks for all the effort you put into it! I know I asked a lot of you.
Thank you for pointing out a lot of the stuff that could be improved

- Not sure if I'm imagining it, but is there a high G (could write it as an octave perhaps) striking in the middle of m. 18 to end off the phrase on top?
Now that you mention it, I think it is there

- Really odd, I was going to suggest that m. 21 be a Cmaj7 chord like m. 19 but the B seems nowhere to be found... unless I'm listening wrong...
Yeah I still don't hear one there either. I'll just leave it as is for now, but I'd be open to changing the C to a B anyways

- I'm having a hard time trying to pin down the left hand part past the first couple of notes in m. 26/28 in the original, did you fill in those notes based on the chord present or are they there and I'm just not hearing them right now?
They are filled in, and I changed the last note of m28 to be an F instead

I modified everything else
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Fixes look awesome. Big approve from me! :D
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Libera

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Honestly, this looks awesome.

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This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot
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