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Author Topic: Food/Cooking Update  (Read 4642 times)

Latios212

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #150 on: February 16, 2020, 09:00:42 PM »

- I was wondering why you omitted all the high orchestral hits (e.g. where you could double the melody an octave higher) in places like the last two notes of m24, last note in m28, etc. While I can understand if you want to preserve the low octave of the main melody in places like m36, m53-56, and m60, I think it would be nice to add them in other places. In particular, I don't see any reason not to have them on m52 beat 4 and and m64 beat 4, where you don't have anything else going on there anyway. (At the very least, if not adding the hits, I would suggest adding accents to these notes.)
- From what I can tell, it seems like you're generally using the bass clef whenever the melody goes down to F or lower. However, I think that m20 and m36 (which are very similar) should be in the same clef for consistency's sake. On second look, though, you kept m24 in treble clef—was that intentional, or is there a different rule/pattern you're going for?
Assume you mean 20 instead of 17 for the second comment. The rest of these have been fixed! (I didn't add those extra notes in m. 4.)

Files updated with the above~

- I was wondering why you omitted all the high orchestral hits (e.g. where you could double the melody an octave higher) in places like the last two notes of m24, last note in m28, etc. While I can understand if you want to preserve the low octave of the main melody in places like m36, m53-56, and m60, I think it would be nice to add them in other places. In particular, I don't see any reason not to have them on m52 beat 4 and and m64 beat 4, where you don't have anything else going on there anyway. (At the very least, if not adding the hits, I would suggest adding accents to these notes.)
- From what I can tell, it seems like you're generally using the bass clef whenever the melody goes down to F or lower. However, I think that m20 and m36 (which are very similar) should be in the same clef for consistency's sake. On second look, though, you kept m24 in treble clef—was that intentional, or is there a different rule/pattern you're going for?
- Ah good point. Yeah I can accent those orchestral hits. I've modified m. 24, 28, 36, 52, 60, 64. 53-56 I've kept as is but added accents because it would otherwise highlight the same note as previous when the melody is in a different octave.
- Yeah, the F breakpoint was what I was going for. Don't think it's a big deal here, but I can put m. 20 in treble.
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mastersuperfan

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #151 on: February 16, 2020, 09:24:52 PM »

Discussed the following changes with Latios:

Gourmet Race (Kirby Super Star) - Latios212
Changed some of the offbeat dyads to better fit the notes in the original, including:
- Bb-D dyad in m25/33 became F-Bb.
- F-A dyad in first half of m39/47 changed to F-Eb.
- G-Bb dyad in second half of m39 changed to F-Bb.
- Eb-G dyad in m40/48 changed to G-Bb.
- Bb-D dyad in second half of m36/42/44 changed to F-Bb.
- D-F dyad in m49 changed to C-F.
- Dyads in m50 changed to F-D and F-C.
I approve of this sheet.
[close]

Fun Castle (Kirby Mass Attack) - Latios212
- Changed the spacing so that m17 (the first measure of the second section) would be on the second page instead of the first page.
- Me gusta.
[close]

Title Screen (Cooking Mama) - Latios212
- Added a courtesy Dn to m19.
- Looks good!
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Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #152 on: February 16, 2020, 10:18:13 PM »

Cooking - Code_Name_Geek
- I think the dyads in m. 8 are like this (similar for m. 16 but might need some adjusting because of the other layer included)

- m. 11/15 should have Gb instead of Ab in the second layer (RH)
- Beat 2 of m. 20/28 has Ab on the bottom, not Bb
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- Fixed the notes m. 8/16. I think the violin in m. 16 goes Db-Ab-Db so the same thing should work there.
- Fixed all other notes too.
- Something I noticed myself - I checked the bassline in m. 20/28 again and I think it goes like this (before I just had an Ab on beat 3 and nothing on beat 4):
Spoiler

(This was before I fixed the melody oops)
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Updated files:
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Latios212

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #153 on: February 16, 2020, 10:36:21 PM »

- Fixed the notes m. 8/16. I think the violin in m. 16 goes Db-Ab-Db so the same thing should work there.
- Fixed all other notes too.
- Something I noticed myself - I checked the bassline in m. 20/28 again and I think it goes like this (before I just had an Ab on beat 3 and nothing on beat 4):
Spoiler

(This was before I fixed the melody oops)
[close]

Updated files:
[MUS] [MUSX] [PDF] [MIDI]
Gotcha! All looks good now, so accepting :)
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Static

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #154 on: February 16, 2020, 11:00:30 PM »

Th3Gavst3r - K.K. Gumbo
(from Discord)
- Turns out I miscounted the ghost notes - they're all there in the sheet.
- The Dn in m36 RH should be a C#.
With these changes I can approve.
[close]
Static - Vs. Squashini
- The first note of the pickup in m. 4 sounds like B instead of C
- I'd suggest flipping all of the LH beams down from m. 5-12 to have a more consistent look.
- Is there a reason why beat 4.5 LH of m. 20/24 are different from the others?
- Done.
- Done.
- At one point I had a third voice there, but I removed it. I removed the G in m20 and changed the G to an E in m24.
[close]
Static - Large Fry Cook-Off
- New dynamic (mp) at m. 13-14? One visible to the player
- Courtesy naturals in m. 23/27/31/35 not needed
- Not sure if it's just Finale being weird, but in m. 53-54 the tremolo flags are overlapping the whole notes
- Oops, I hid the wrong one lol
- Oh yeah, those were for when I had Gbs instead of F#s in an earlier revision. I removed them now.
- No that's not just you. I moved them.
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Rubikium - Meringue Clouds
- In m2 RH beats 3-4 there's a really distinctive triplet figure here that I think would be a good addition. It's pretty prominent in the original track.
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Rubikium - Time for Dessert!
- The Fn in m12 should be spelled as an E#.
- The beginning of the 8va lines should be moved a little to the left so it lines up with the center of the starting note.
- m15 beat 2.5 LH sounds like it should have an A# and B#, and it should be rolled.
- There should be a grace note F# before the G# in m16 RH.
- m17 beat 4.5 LH should be an En instead of D#.
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Latios212 - Title Screen (Yoshi's Cookie)
- I'd probably move the C in layer 2 beat 2 RH up an octave in m10 and m14.
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Latios212 - Fun Castle
- m20 RH: That B-D dyad should be tied to the next quarter note. It's kind of tricky to tell because of the echo effect, but the only new note that should play on beat 2 (4th 8th note) should be the G. You could put that in a 2nd layer if you want or just keep it in the first and have ties only on the B and D above it.
- m24 RH: There should be a trill on the F, or a just mordent to make it easier.
[close]
Latios212 - Yoshi and Cookies
- Looks good.
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Latios212 - Peronza Plaza
- m11 beat 4 is a B augmented chord, so the Gn should be an Fx. You could also add a D# underneath in the RH to give that chord a little extra weight like in the original.
- Have you considered condensing m12 into the LH and adding those xylophone parts in the RH? I think it's fine as-is, but I'm just wondering.
- I'd add a B in between the G# and D in m21 beat 4 just for some extra weight.
- m32: The resolution from Dn-F# (G#dim7) to C#-E# (C#maj) in m33 is pretty prominent and sets it apart from m28-29. I'd try to find a way to incorporate those notes somehow.
- Maybe add some extra notes to m35 beats 1-2 LH?
- m37 beat 3 shouldn't be staccato.
[close]
LeviR.star - Cappy's Stage (Stage 1)
- Maybe it's just me, but it kinda sounds like beat 4 of m10 and 14 RH should be tied to beat 1 of the next measure.
- Other than that, looks great!
[close]

Latios212

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #155 on: February 17, 2020, 12:19:52 AM »

Static - Vs. Squashini
- Done.
- Done.
- At one point I had a third voice there, but I removed it. I removed the G in m20 and changed the G to an E in m24.
[close]
Static - Large Fry Cook-Off
- Oops, I hid the wrong one lol
- Oh yeah, those were for when I had Gbs instead of F#s in an earlier revision. I removed them now.
- No that's not just you. I moved them.
[close]
Looks good, approved both!

Latios212 - Title Screen (Yoshi's Cookie)
- I'd probably move the C in layer 2 beat 2 RH up an octave in m10 and m14.
[close]
Sure thing, sounds good, done!

Latios212 - Fun Castle
- m20 RH: That B-D dyad should be tied to the next quarter note. It's kind of tricky to tell because of the echo effect, but the only new note that should play on beat 2 (4th 8th note) should be the G. You could put that in a 2nd layer if you want or just keep it in the first and have ties only on the B and D above it.
- m24 RH: There should be a trill on the F, or a just mordent to make it easier.
[close]
- I pretty clearly hear the melody descending D B G and the harmonies underneath each just happen to coincide with the next melody note.
- Good catch, added

Latios212 - Peronza Plaza
- m11 beat 4 is a B augmented chord, so the Gn should be an Fx. You could also add a D# underneath in the RH to give that chord a little extra weight like in the original.
- Have you considered condensing m12 into the LH and adding those xylophone parts in the RH? I think it's fine as-is, but I'm just wondering.
- I'd add a B in between the G# and D in m21 beat 4 just for some extra weight.
- m32: The resolution from Dn-F# (G#dim7) to C#-E# (C#maj) in m33 is pretty prominent and sets it apart from m28-29. I'd try to find a way to incorporate those notes somehow.
- Maybe add some extra notes to m35 beats 1-2 LH?
- m37 beat 3 shouldn't be staccato.
[close]
All good comments, I've implemented them accordingly, except I've left 12-13 as is. It didn't really occur to me when arranging, but I felt like the high xylophone part wasn't super important to highlight over the offbeat dyads. Thanks for the help on this one!
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Static

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #156 on: February 17, 2020, 12:25:58 AM »

I've approved Title Screen and Peronza Plaza, and accepted Fun Castle.

Latios212

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #157 on: February 17, 2020, 03:09:19 AM »

The Salt Flats - Static
- I'm hearing this piece in 3/4 instead of 6/8 due to the percussion. The chime and the bell alternate every quarter beat.
- m. 28/38 are missing a Bb in the harmony
- The pp markings above layer 3 are a bit low
- The pedal release markings seem a bit far to the left, slightly to the left of the 6th beat of each measure.
[close]
Dangerous Dinner - Latios212
- This is a matter of personal arranging preference, but the intro to the original is pretty driving and the bassline by itself is a little bare—I would personally consider writing it like this (not actually playing it all with the left hand like I wrote it, but give the octaves to the LH and the higher notes to the RH), although of course it's up to you:
Spoiler
[close]
- Sounds like there are some harmonies you could add to the RH melody on m16 beat 2.5, m20 beat 2.5, and m24 beat 1.5 and 2.5 (last two notes).
- m11 RH beat 4.5 (last note), I'm not hearing a chord—only the F.
- For m12 RH, I think you could raise those two chords by an octave so that the contour from m11 to m12 goes upwards, and also so that it goes higher than m8 since it's building up to the next section.
- For m12 RH, I would also tie over beat 2.5 for another eighth note since it's held longer.
- I'm hearing the Bb in m19 RH beat 4 as an octave lower than you've written it.
- Was curious why you chose to make m13 mezzo forte since I don't think it's any softer than the previous section (if anything, I think it sounds fuller/more built up).
I definitely see why you've moved the melody in Bars 5-8 up an octave from the original (it would collide nastily with the accompaniment otherwise), but I'd like a nod in your Bars 9-12 towards the melody moving up an octave between Bars 5-8 and Bars 9-12 in the original. I was primarily thinking a piu forte in Bar 9 to substitute for what would otherwise be a move an octave up.
- I did think about that, but I wanted m. 1-12 to gain energy while moving to m. 5 would lose this part. I think the beginning with just the bass as it can suffice given it's played with enough energy.
- Gotcha, yes. Good point, I have added more notes in those places, and for the end I added accents as well.
- ..and taken out there
- Not so sure about that one, they don't pack as much of a punch raised up that much and it's a bit of a jump to and from the surrounding parts. I think I'm following the contour of the <something brass> line and while there are harmonies above the melody there, I don't think they work too well on piano, so I inverted things down a bit to where they are now.
- Yeah I thought that was a bit weird; I think I was taking something from a different layer. Lowered, and it sounds more natural :)
- While it's fuller with more harmonies, I feel like the overall tone softens up a bit with less pounding from the percussion and low bass register. In tandem with Dekka's comment about making m. 9 more striking than m. 5 I changed m. 9 to ff and m. 13 to f. (Really though this entire song is just intense...)

If you're prone, I'm hearing additional notes in the brass in the original instead of eighth rests in the RH of Bars 21 and 23 - and they're both the D above Middle C. I'm also hearing m24 beat 1.5 and 2.5 (last two notes) at an octave above what you've written there, although I can also see why you opted not to jump them up an octave.
I think what's going on there is another higher layer that is playing throughout the measures, and I wanted to keep the RH to that one layer to mirror m. 1-4.

Thanks you two for the help!
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Th3Gavst3r

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #158 on: February 17, 2020, 03:48:48 AM »

BMI Results - Th3Gavst3r
Just a couple of small things:
- Flip the bottom tie downwards in "Normal" LH
- The last dyad in "Overweight" is a quarter here instead of a dotted quarter like underweight/obese. Is this intended?
- LH is missing rests in Overweight
[close]
All accidents, all corrected

BMI Results
[WII] Wii Fit

BMI Results
[musx]
                         
[close]



Th3Gavst3r - K.K. Gumbo
(from Discord)
- Turns out I miscounted the ghost notes - they're all there in the sheet.
- The Dn in m36 RH should be a C#.
With these changes I can approve.
[close]
Changed the note, very good catch ;)

K.K. Gumbo
[GCN] Animal Crossing

K.K. Gumbo
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...Fondue... - Th3Gavst3r
Nice  :)
The key signature should be G major and I think you can fit in the little figure/melody at the end of the second measure.
Something along these lines
Spoiler
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Or if your left hand is feeling restless
Spoiler
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[close]
I went back over it and did my best to incorporate both the middle voice and the whistle thing, but everything made the sheet much more complicated and difficult to read.
I opted for making the whistle octave-doubled to fill in the middle voice and adding one of the chord tones to the left hand. This fills out the important bits without asking too much from the performer.

Fondue
[MUL] Monster Hunter Generations

Proudly Serving Fondue, Bon Appétit ~ Ingredient Selection!
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Latios212

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #159 on: February 17, 2020, 03:53:23 AM »

Awesome! I've accepted BMI Results and approved ...Fondue....
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Maelstrom

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #160 on: February 17, 2020, 04:28:14 AM »

I have accepted Latios' Gourmet Race

mastersuperfan

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #161 on: February 17, 2020, 05:00:50 AM »

Dangerous Dinner (Kirby's Return to Dream Land) - Latios212
Nice. Approved.
[close]

Working Dough (Rhythm Heaven Fever) - Latios212
Discussed the following changes with Latios:
- Adjusted the spacing between staves so that m56 and m60 would have a little more room.
- Added staccatos to the accented quarter-note hits in m52 and m64.

Approved.
[close]

Vs. Squashini (Kirby's Epic Yarn) - Static
- tempo should be 165 BPM instead of 164 lol
- Would be nice if the "simile" in m26 could be moved down a little to be vertically aligned with the dynamic/crescendo in m25.
- Would also be nice if the mezzo forte in m33 could be moved up a little to be vertically aligned with the crescendo in m36.

Very minor things, though. Overall great sheet.
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mastersuperfan

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #162 on: February 17, 2020, 05:09:17 AM »

- I'm hearing this piece in 3/4 instead of 6/8 due to the percussion. The chime and the bell alternate every quarter beat.

Just wanted to comment on this: Like Static, I'm hearing this in 6/8. The chime and the bells alternate every quarter beat, but what pushes me to hear this in 6/8 (besides the melody itself) is that the second chime, which falls right on the fourth eighth note of the measure, is noticeably emphasized compared to the other chime/bell sounds.

Also the "(etc.)" seems kind of weird to me. Perhaps use a "simile" at m7 instead?
« Last Edit: February 17, 2020, 05:10:51 AM by mastersuperfan »
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Static

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #163 on: February 17, 2020, 11:42:08 PM »


Static - The Salt Flats
- I'm hearing this piece in 3/4 instead of 6/8 due to the percussion. The chime and the bell alternate every quarter beat.
- m. 28/38 are missing a Bb in the harmony
- The pp markings above layer 3 are a bit low
- The pedal release markings seem a bit far to the left, slightly to the left of the 6th beat of each measure.
- I hear it in 6/8 also because of the percussion, and the melody, and the other instruments (and for the reasons msf mentioned). Looks like Square agrees too...
- I purposely left it out there because 5 notes is a lot in one hand and also bc the Bb plays just 3 8th notes later. I still don't really think it's necessary, but I've added them in anyway.
- Fixed.
- Fixed.
[close]
Th3Gavst3r - K.K. Gumbo
Changed the note, very good catch ;)
- Awesome, I'll approve now.
[close]
Static - Vs. Squashini (Kirby's Epic Yarn)
- tempo should be 165 BPM instead of 164 lol
- Would be nice if the "simile" in m26 could be moved down a little to be vertically aligned with the dynamic/crescendo in m25.
- Would also be nice if the mezzo forte in m33 could be moved up a little to be vertically aligned with the crescendo in m36.
- Done.
- Done. (also added one to the LH for the pedaling, just to be extra clear)
- Done.
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LeviR.star

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Re: Food/Cooking Update
« Reply #164 on: February 18, 2020, 03:34:59 AM »

Feedback Response to MSF/Static
Radish Ruins (Kirby & The Amazing Mirror) - LeviR.star
- I got an average BPM of 137.25 with 320 tempo taps. :P Personally the way I see it is that it's better to be more exact because many metronomes can do exact BPMs, and for those that can't, you can just round to the nearest marking. Either way is fine though.
- Was also just curious why you chose to put octaves on LH beat 1 for every other measure in m15-22, since it doesn't sound like something that was taken directly from the original.

Otherwise, I like.
[close]

- if you've got enough time to tempo tap for that long, I'll quit arguing and change it to whatever you want :P
- not sure, guess I thought it needed more of that percussive punch. I'll take the bottom notes out

Goal Game (Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards) - LeviR.star
- It sounds like there's also a harmony note on the second eighth note of each beat (i.e. when the RH dips down). You could make the LH play these notes (with the same up-down-up contour as the RH), though I'm guessing they were cut for playability? Still, since there are only two voices and this track is short, I don't think it would be too hard at all.

[close]

- I heard that in the original, but felt uncomfortable towards including it for fear of voice overlap. Some people could manage this, but then again... can I get a second opinion on this?

Yogurt Yard Map (Kirby's Adventure) - LeviR.star
o I didn't realize it was two 16ths. In that case you can pick whichever one you like better.
Yeah, good call.

I'll accept once you let me know if you want to keep the C as an 8th note or not.
[close]

- change the C to two sixteenths, because the performer will already be playing that pattern throughout

Dreaming of Food (Kirby Super Star) - LeviR.star
- You might consider making the first note in m1 LH beat 1 a low F since the C isn't playing there yet.
- I'm hearing some additional notes in m5-6 LH:

I don't think playability is a big concern if you add in these extra notes, although I might consider removing the low F on beats 1/3.
- On the very last chord, it sounds like the G is an octave higher in the original. Perhaps move it to the right hand?
[close]

- like that?
- noted, I'll change it to look like your picture, minus the low F's
- I hear it, too, but I really think the emphasis on the last accent is important, so I'm not sure about having the RH stretch out a 7th after a trio of grace notes

Crash! Gourmet Race (Kirby Super Star) - LeviR.star
- Add a mezzo forte in m9 to cancel the mp in m8?
- The n in m17 seems to have been shifted down from where it was before.
- The space between the staves in the last system might still be worth expanding a little bit—just so people don't think those accents are on the LH notes or anything.

I will check this one more in-depth when I am less hungry.
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- I didn't think that would be needed, but I can do that. I just don't like how that mf is squished between the notes of the RH and LH now
- good catch; I forgot that it was a piece of text, not an expression
- how's that?



LeviR.star - Cappy's Stage (Stage 1)
- Maybe it's just me, but it kinda sounds like beat 4 of m10 and 14 RH should be tied to beat 1 of the next measure.
- Other than that, looks great!
[close]

- y'know, I'm relieved to have that back to being tied, because when I revised this for my personal project, I deleted the tie thinking I was hearing a re-strike. Listening through AudioOverload, turns out that it's not a re-strike, but a vibrato that only carries through the end of beat 4, not the end of the tied note. More of a possible technical oversight, if anything; thanks for pointing that out
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