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[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Fire Emblem
Game: Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Guardian of Starlight
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Maelstrom

[Maelstrom]

The first half of the song was normalized to make the notation cleaner.

[Latios212]

The first half of the song was normalized to make the notation cleaner.

hey this looks familiar

A few quick suggestions/observations before Libera or I start checking notes/rhythms:
- The intro sounds rather empty, could we put in the high harp part for the first three measures at least?
- Suggest making this 4+5 systems per page - you'd also have the section change at the page break this way
- Needs dynamics. Aside from the opening dynamic, I'd also suggest a louder dynamic at 17 and dim. into softer dynamic at 33
- My personal preference would be to just write the second layer as part of the beat 1 chords in places like m. 21, but up to you
- Composer list missing and/&

[Maelstrom]

All fixed.

[Latios212]

Sorry for the wait! The notes look pretty good overall, but some parts on the first page look a bit awkward to play. I think it's fine as you have it though, the RH can take the top parts of those chords when needed and the timing is pretty loose

- I think in the first few measures it would be good to notate the chords as a separate sustained layer similar to the rest of the first page. It looks oddly empty aside from the "con pedale" marking.
- Last note of m. 4 should be a Bb.
- I think you might want a bit more performance direction to differentiate the first and second pages. You just have "freely" at the beginning but it's not super clear what it applies to, and we could probably clarify that the B section is in strict time. I don't have any specific suggestions right now, but can probably come up with some if you need.
- m. 20 LH beat 3 sounds like a C and RH sounds like it's missing a Bb under the Eb.
- m. 28 RH beat 3 missing an Ab underneath the Eb
- I'm hearing Dn on m. 32 beat 3 (LH)
- Not too sure about the Bb in the chord in m. 33. I think it may sound better with an Ab on bottom instead? Maybe...
- m. 34 LH is Eb Bb C in all quarters

[Maelstrom]

Also changed the C in m29b1 to a Bb because I now hear the transition of the Ab from the previous measure to that,

I hear the F for m32 b3, are you sure that's the right measure?

Killed the Bb in m33

Changed m34. I still hear an 8th on b2.5, but i moved it to the F which is where I now hear it. Also added an F on top of the Eb on b1.

Made all the other changes and updated the files.

[Latios212]

Also changed the C in m29b1 to a Bb because I now hear the transition of the Ab from the previous measure to that,

You can keep the C too there if you want (I think I would), it's there in the original and the chord sounds pretty empty otherwise (just root + fifth).

I hear the F for m32 b3, are you sure that's the right measure?

Yeah, pretty sure. Maybe the F is there too, it fits harmonically, but the Dn sticks out to me in the original. (To be clear it's the Dn just above middle C)

Changed m34. I still hear an 8th on b2.5, but i moved it to the F which is where I now hear it. Also added an F on top of the Eb on b1.

Ah yeah, that's good.

Other stuff:
- m. 3 needs more space at the beginning for the rolled chord + naturals (measure tool > extra space at the beginning)
- Think you missed this?

- Last note of m. 4 should be a Bb.

[Maelstrom]

Yeah I don't hear that Dn at all. I just hear the strings going down to the F and that's it. Also added a note to b2 of the RH there.

The rest has been updated

[Latios212]

Cool... I'll approve but would like someone else to take a look at m. 32 beat 3 LH (Dn that I hear).

[mastersuperfan]

I hear both the F and the D there so, uh, I guess either is okay? Although if you only want to use one note, I would be inclined to keep F since I think the F belongs to the same voice as the Ab on beat 2. The D belongs to a different string voice that plays the same F as the melody on beat 2.

I'm also hearing notes in the RH that you're missing on beat 1 of m17 and m29, by the way.

While I'm passing by, one more thing...

[Maelstrom]

m1 fixed.

re:m17/29 - It might sound like there's some notes there but i can't seem to be able to resolve any more individual tones. I think the percussion hit is making it sound like things are there when they're really not

files updated

[Libera]

Yeah the first half of this piece is pretty weird to write out isn't it.

Visual stuff:
-The second layer rests in bars 9,11,13,15 could be placed in normal position easily without interfering with the first layer since it's so high up.
-The graces in bars 13 and 15 should be semiquavers rather than quavers.  (Like you did for 11).
-The voice leading line is (presumably accidentally) hidden.
-The 8va in bar 33 is really close to the roll marking on the first note.
-Some/most of the huge tie clusters need some tidying up.  It'd be nice if you could distribute them a bit more evenly and remove the collisions.
-Bar 11 could do with some extra space at the start to fit in the roll marking more neatly.
-The 'at tempo' in bar 17 would look neater aligned more the left.
-I know you just edited this but the markings at the start could still be more spaced out, although they aren't actually colliding anymore.

Notes/arrangment (first page):
-Sounds like there's a missing Eb in the run of bar 4, before the first F.
-I don't hear the semiquaver C on beat 4 of bar 6.  It sounds like it goes straight from the Bb to the Ab to me.
-Another missing (low) Eb in the RH of bar 12, after the Bb.
-Any reason why the chord changes aren't written in after bar 4?  The left hand is always free to restrike the chord with the changed notes (like you did in the first four bars).

(second page)
-Would it not make more sense to have the left hand drop down to play the bass restrike in bars 18/20/22/26/28 etc. rather than playing a note that the RH could play anyway?
-I'm not sure I can hear the Ab on beat 3.5 in bar 28.  If I slow it down and listen closely the closest thing I can hear is an octave higher anyway, and I think that's just the higher Ab still sounding.
-The C on beat 3 of bar 30 sounds like a Bb to me.

would like someone else to take a look at m. 32 beat 3 LH (Dn that I hear).

I hear both the F and the D there so, uh, I guess either is okay? Although if you only want to use one note, I would be inclined to keep F since I think the F belongs to the same voice as the Ab on beat 2. The D belongs to a different string voice that plays the same F as the melody on beat 2.

So it sounds like to me that the piano plays C -> Ab -> Bb (on the beats in this bar).  There is also another voice that plays Ab -> F on beats 2-3.  There is ALSO the voice that plays F -> Dn on beats 2-3.  However, regardless to all of these things I think there should be a Dn on beat 3 simply because there is a Dn in the vocal line throughout bars 31-32 that resolves down a half step going into 33.  Personally I think that resolution is what gives the transition a lot of its character and so it should be included somehow.  Personally I'd just stick a Dn on top of the F on beat 3 since then that one will resolve directly down a half step to the Db in bar 33.

-I don't hear the Fn on beat 1 of bar 34 (left hand).  I do however hear an Fn on top of the Bb in bar 33 (left hand).
-Dynamic change at 33?
-The F on beat 2.5 of bar 34 sounds more like an effect than an actual piano note.
-Include the vocal resolution C-> Bb in the final bar?
-I think the ending should have another measured bar at the end with the final note(s) tied through, rather than a fermata.  It's completely in time in the original.

[Maelstrom]

What's hidden? I can't seem to figure out what you're referring to.

Not sure if the at tempo is in the best place now, can't figure out a place to put it where it looks better.

Not sure what's best to do with the freely. I could align it under the tempo marking, or seperate either in opposite directions. I don't feel great combining them because it's not a feel mark for the whole song. I did the latter for now, but I'm curious what you'd suggest.

Made all other visual changes

-m4 - I can't hear that Eb at all... The other note strike I can hear is the harp I'm leaving out for this measure playing a G.
-m6 - I hear the C loud and clear.
-I do hear the Eb in m12, and I also hear the rest of the measure differently than written. Changed.
-Did the chord stuff on page 1. Left the last one tied since the lessening of motion there was ruined by the restrike.
-m28 fixed
-m30 - I think i was hearing a string harmony instead so I handed it off to the RH and made the LH the Bb
-Added Dn harmony, think it sounds cool
-Made other changes
-Can't figure out a good way to add the progression in the last 2 measures. No matter where I try to put it in, it interferes somehow. If it makes a 2nd with the RH part on b1 of m35, then it completely obfuscates what's going on there. If it's an octave below that, it gets hidden by the LH since that Bb is played the measure before and b2 afterwards. And just having the Bb alone without the C progressing to it sounds weird because there's no movement; it just feels like a restrike from m35. What I'm saying is it'd be cool to include but I just tried everything I can think of and think the piece benefits more without it.
- but tying it through would break my hypermeter pattern fine ill do it

files updated

[Libera]

-Did the chord stuff on page 1. Left the last one tied since the lessening of motion there was ruined by the restrike.

Maybe I should have been clearer that I was only imagining the restrikes for when a note in the chord changed.  So I was thinking that 7-8, 11-12 should still be tied.  Unless you think it's better doing the restrikes regardless.

-Would it not make more sense to have the left hand drop down to play the bass restrike in bars 18/20/22/26/28 etc. rather than playing a note that the RH could play anyway?

I still think you should consider this for bars 22 and 30 also.  Firstly because then the accompaniment pattern is more consistent and secondly since in those places the left hand is doubling the already written in harmony, so I think you'll get a fuller sound by restriking the bass there.

-Can't figure out a good way to add the progression in the last 2 measures. No matter where I try to put it in, it interferes somehow. If it makes a 2nd with the RH part on b1 of m35, then it completely obfuscates what's going on there. If it's an octave below that, it gets hidden by the LH since that Bb is played the measure before and b2 afterwards. And just having the Bb alone without the C progressing to it sounds weird because there's no movement; it just feels like a restrike from m35. What I'm saying is it'd be cool to include but I just tried everything I can think of and think the piece benefits more without it.

Have you tried the octave above?  (That would actually match the octave that you wrote the vocal C in for bar 33, which this resolution is a continuation of).

What's hidden? I can't seem to figure out what you're referring to.

Sorry I didn't give the bar number.  I meant the voice leading line in bar 23/24.

Not sure if the at tempo is in the best place now, can't figure out a place to put it where it looks better.

Not sure what's best to do with the freely. I could align it under the tempo marking, or seperate either in opposite directions. I don't feel great combining them because it's not a feel mark for the whole song. I did the latter for now, but I'm curious what you'd suggest.

They could both be a little higher so they're less close to the notes, but I don't really want to nit-pick this stuff too much so don't worry about it too much.  I definitely wouldn't combine the tempo marking with the freely for the same reasons you gave.

-I don't hear the Fn on beat 1 of bar 34 (left hand).  I do however hear an Fn on top of the Bb in bar 33 (left hand).

^This still, since you didn't respond to it.

[Maelstrom]

Everything changed and added except the Fn in m34 LH which I still clearly hear. Another pair of ears could help. I hear a distinct major second there on beat 1.

Files updated.