All of these collisions between original RH pitches and the LH part could also technically be solved by putting the LH down an entire octave.
My vote would be for this. I don't know if it's just the soundfont but the piano in the original sounds like it's that low anyway. It's certainly very bass-y. At least try it out to see what you think. I also think that they way it currently is is also fine.
While I'm here though I'll just point out a few other things I noticed (I know it's not finished yet):
-I don't hear the Gs in bars 73/81.
-'Composed' doesn't need a capital in your composer credits.
-The Cns on the last page should probably be B#s.