The Best Video Game Quotes Ever Thread

[ASH501ST]

BOSS-You guys have to learn that I'm a lot scarier then you are!
StarWars Republic Commando

Also, Jill-What is it? and Barry-You almost became a Jill sandwitch! haha that never gets old
Resident Evil (original)

[Dudeman]

"'I declare a cake-eating duel!"'
--Narrator, as Kirby
     Kirby's Epic Yarn

[SlowPokemon]

Quite a major bump, but whatevs. I have to revive this thread because I've been typing out the script to Bowser's Inside Story, and I reached the part with the Goomba who freaks out in Fawful Theater and talks at a ridiculously fast speed. I went and slowed it down enough to actually read what he's saying, it's so funny:

"So this big galoot here, right? He's all like, I have no seeeat! No seeat! And he won't shut up! But he won't stop, and we're all, we just can't do it, buddy, OK? So we have no idea what to do. And this lug's getting surlier. He's not going away. And he has no seat! Nothing! Not a chance! So we do some solid thinking and totally fail. No big seats! I mean, we got small seats! We can do a small seat, sure, but this guy's huge, so he's not gonna fit in a small one! Please! And it's kind bugging me, 'cause I'm on my feet all day! I mean, I'd LOVE to sit in ANY seat! It's like, hey, pal, how about you try our job just once, y'know? It'd break him in two seconds! I work hard, Boss! Really hard! And this dude sits through life?! So spoiled! It makes me ill! All the suffering in the world, and this guy's seating problem is urgent? Nooooooo! Ooooo!"

[GoronsOrchestrated]

"Oh, hi. How are you holding up? BECAUSE IM A POTATO! *Clap, Clap, Clap* Oh good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that. As long as we're not going anywhere, well we are going somewhere, alarming fast acctually, but as long as we're not doing anything, here are some facts. He's no ordinary moron. He's the product of the finest minds of a generation, working together with the expressed purpose of creating the dumbest moron who ever lived; and you just put him in charge of the entire facility. *Clap, Clap* Good, that still works. Say, just in case this pit isn't acctually bottomless, do you think you could unstrap one of those Long Fall Boots of yours and shove me into it? Just remember to land on one foot." - Portal 2 ( I'd say who the quote was from, but that would be a spoiler, wouldn't it? If you've played the game, you'll know.)

[DonValentino]

"Where you boneheads see adversity, I see oportunity" ~Hades, from Kid Icarus Uprising

[MasterProX]

"What a pain in the ass piece of shit."
--Parker Luciani, from "Resident Evil: Revelations"

[blueflower999]

"Oh, hi. How are you holding up? BECAUSE IM A POTATO! *Clap, Clap, Clap* Oh good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that. As long as we're not going anywhere, well we are going somewhere, alarming fast acctually, but as long as we're not doing anything, here are some facts. He's no ordinary moron. He's the product of the finest minds of a generation, working together with the expressed purpose of creating the dumbest moron who ever lived; and you just put him in charge of the entire facility. *Clap, Clap* Good, that still works. Say, just in case this pit isn't acctually bottomless, do you think you could unstrap one of those Long Fall Boots of yours and shove me into it? Just remember to land on one foot." - Portal 2 ( I'd say who the quote was from, but that would be a spoiler, wouldn't it? If you've played the game, you'll know.)

"Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises *TRAIN HORN* I'm sorry. I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact."

[GoronsOrchestrated]

"Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises *TRAIN HORN* I'm sorry. I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact."

"This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you."

[MasterProX]

"DAMN!"
--Colonel Volgin, from "Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater"

...lol.

[blueflower999]

"This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you."

"Oh, in case you got covered in that Repulsion Gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave be: *rustling papers* DO NOT get covered in the Reuplsion Gel. We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this, it's a lively one, and it does not like the human skeleton!

[K-NiGhT]

"Oh, in case you got covered in that Repulsion Gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave be: *rustling papers* DO NOT get covered in the Reuplsion Gel. We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this, it's a lively one, and it does not like the human skeleton!

Oh, you think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is [static] ... ten. In base four! I'm fine!

All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only two more chambers!
We're running out of time. I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along.
[Chell runs into an Aerial Faith Plate and is unexpectedly launched sideways onto another Plate and finally into a Excursion Funnel]
Surprise! We're doing it now!
Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap.
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore. I found two little robots back here built specifically for testing!
Oh no. He found the co-operative testing initiative. It's ... something I came up with to phase out human testing just before you escaped. It wasn't anything personal. Just ... you know. You did kill me. Fair's fair.
[A plate launches Chell onto a platform surrounded by spike plates]
Ah! Well, this is the part where he kills us.
Hello! This is the part where I kill you!
[The chapter title fades in: "Chapter 9: The Part Where He Kills You". An achievement with the title "The Part Where He Kills You" is unlocked at the same time, with the description "This is that part".]

So many good quotes from that game...

[blueflower999]

"The situation you are in is very dangerous. The likely hood of you dying within the next  5 minutes is 87.61%. The likely hood of you dying violently within the next 5 minutes is 87.61%. You are about to get me killed. We will both die because of your negligence. This is a bad plan. You will fail. He will most likely kill you. Violently. He will most likely kill you. You will be dead soon. This situation is hopeless. You are going to die in this room. You could stand to lose a few pounds! The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere. The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere. The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome. The Fact Sphere is always right. The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward. The Space sphere will never go to space. He will never go into space. FACT: Space does not exist; spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't. The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant. The Fact Sphere is a good sphere with many friends. Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere. The Fact Sphere is NOT defective. His facts are holy accurate and very interesting. 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 Pens! Pens! Pens! Pens! Pens! Pens! Pens! Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava. Error. Error. Error. File not found. Error. Error. Error. Fact not found, fact not found. Corruption at 25% Corruption at 50%. Warning, sphere corruption at twenty- r-r-r-r-rats cannot throw up."

[the_last_sheikah]

HAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! I"M IN SPACE!!!!

[Olimar12345]

...no one ever got my cave story reference a few pages back... ;_;

[GoronsOrchestrated]

"The Schrodinger's Cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat must be considered as simoltainiously alive and dead. Schrodinger created the paradox as a justifcation for killing cats."

Wheatly - "You know what i would say if I ever saw her again?"
Space Core - "I'm in Space."