News:

Spotted an error on the main site? Let us know!

Main Menu

Relationships

Started by ETFROXX, February 06, 2012, 02:46:02 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Psychic_Ness

Guys and Girls:

If you like someone I strongly suggest you be friends with them first for like a year and hold off any initial emotions you may have. Get to REALLYYYY know them or else you're going to be in for a massive, massive, massive, headache. At first, that feeling of having a crush on someone tends to overrule logical decision making. The infatuation period should go away after a while (varies by person). That's when you can really make decisions regarding how much you like the other. During the infatuation period everything is going to amazing. Any small detail any little thing you have in common will be blown out of proportion in your head. Any negative traits will be largely ignored.

Guys approaching girls:

Don't start by asking to lunch or coffee. That stuff only works in movies or if the girl is actively looking for someone at the moment, which is rare. Most girls are either taken or not looking. What are the chances that the girl you end up with in the future is currently single? Not high. Make friends with everyone single or not and have a good time regardless. If it's "meant to be" then you'll both come to some kind of realization eventually regardless of the initial circumstances upon which you met. Conversely, girls that are currently taken shouldn't close themselves off completely. Obviously this does not apply to relationships that have already been established very strongly. One thing to note however is that length of time is not necessarily a good indicator of relationship strength.

So the lunch or coffee thing not working? No of course the girl will be weirded out. The most important thing is that first conversation. Make it meaningful and really try to find common ground. Something that could become chronic. How to make the first conversation happen? If you periodically talk to each other no problem. If you are admiring her from a distance (why do you like her anyway... but ok let's give the benefit of the doubt I am guilty of this kind of affection as well), create a scenario in which you are forced to interact. Make it clever and subtle.

Girls:

You have it easy gtfo.

Thoughts/discussions?

SuperFireKirby

Yeah...you don't have much real world experience, do you?

Quote from: Psychic_Ness on April 18, 2014, 03:13:59 PMIf you like someone I strongly suggest you be friends with them first for like a year
If you want to torture yourself and risk infinite friendzoning, sure.

Quote from: Psychic_Ness on April 18, 2014, 03:13:59 PMDon't start by asking to lunch or coffee.
Unless you feel like having a nice afternoon with someone you're attracted to, sure.

Quote from: Psychic_Ness on April 18, 2014, 03:13:59 PMMost girls are either taken or not looking.
Completely wrong, but sure.

Quote from: Psychic_Ness on April 18, 2014, 03:13:59 PMcreate a scenario in which you are forced to interact.
Yes, because overthinking things make everything better, so sure.

Quote from: Psychic_Ness on April 18, 2014, 03:13:59 PMGirls:

You have it easy gtfo.
Not true, but our society has developed the idea that requires men to initiate interaction and dating shit, while women are supposed to wait because if they took the role of "asking out" it could be seen as too forward or even creepy. But with women becoming more and more independent, these social stigmas are likely to change.

You obviously have yet to be introduced to the concept of "Risk and Reward".

Quote from: Mashi on March 26, 2013, 05:54:37 PMAfter viewing both FMA:Brotherhood and Naruto Shippuden, it would be frivolous to even consider watching an anime as unbearably mediocre as Melancholy. NARUTOxHINATA 4 LYFE!!!

mikey

Girls:
All guys love food.  Easy bait.
unmotivated

BlackDragonSlayer

Quote from: SuperFireKirby on April 18, 2014, 03:31:50 PMIf you want to torture yourself and risk infinite friendzoning, sure.
I don't think getting to know somebody before you start dating them always means getting "friendzoned." Unless I'm mistaken, the point Psychic_Ness is trying to make is that some people don't like it if you try and rush into a relationship.
And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

SuperFireKirby

But a year? Come on.

Quote from: Mashi on March 26, 2013, 05:54:37 PMAfter viewing both FMA:Brotherhood and Naruto Shippuden, it would be frivolous to even consider watching an anime as unbearably mediocre as Melancholy. NARUTOxHINATA 4 LYFE!!!

SlowPokemon

That was really sexist to say girls have it easy. :P Also the fact that you're telling people to be friends for a year before dating tells me you know nothing about dating lololol

Certainly it's fine in some situations but it is not by any stretch of the imagination necessary or even beneficial all the time
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on April 21, 2016, 02:56:11 PM
Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

FierceDeity

I'm gonna have to agree with SFK here. The absurdly long year wait aside, getting to know somebody outside of a relationship is completely different than getting to know them in a relationship. I see some of my closest friends reveal parts of themselves to somebody they're dating that I never even knew existed; not to mention, this has happened with a lot of the girls I've dated (one of which was after being friends for two years, so no, it wasn't a "I just didn't spend a long enough time getting to know her" thing). So many people spend all of their time masking some part of themselves that they don't think other people will like, but once they get intimate with somebody, they feel they can finally be open. And that's when you find out whether it'll really work or not.

Quote from: BlackDragonSlayer on April 18, 2014, 03:58:18 PMI don't think getting to know somebody before you start dating them always means getting "friendzoned." Unless I'm mistaken, the point Psychic_Ness is trying to make is that some people don't like it if you try and rush into a relationship.

Well, it doesn't always mean getting friendzoned, but if there's a spark and you don't take advantage of it, it may die down before you have a chance to get to know somebody in a truly intimate manner. And yeah, some people don't like "rushing" into relationships. But not all.

And to recapitulate SFK's point, holy shit a year is such an absurdly long amount of time.

Yugi

I've known someone for a year but she doesn't remember me for half of that year what do I do?????????

BlackDragonSlayer

Quote from: FierceDeity on April 18, 2014, 05:09:17 PMWell, it doesn't always mean getting friendzoned, but if there's a spark and you don't take advantage of it, it may die down before you have a chance to get to know somebody in a truly intimate manner.
He said "get to know the person," not "isolate them and ignore anything other than friendship," which in and of itself could be considered "friendzoning." :P That should be fairly obvious- it's not like you ignore all common sense just because you don't leap into a relationship right away. Though, he did say to "hold off any initial emotions you may have," which I agree is quite extreme.

QuoteAnd to recapitulate SFK's point, holy shit a year is such an absurdly long amount of time.
While this is true, he didn't say that you had to for a year; specifically, he said "for like a year." TECHNICALITIES!
And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

FierceDeity

Quote from: BlackDragonSlayer on April 18, 2014, 05:22:50 PM"isolate them and ignore anything other than friendship"

Wait what is "anything other than friendship", because as far as I can tell that only includes being A: enemies, B: neutral acquaintances, or C: in a relationship, and I'm pretty sure none of those fit into his advice, so no, he totally did say that. Maybe not "isolate them" but I really don't see how I implied that, either...

Quote from: BlackDragonSlayer on April 18, 2014, 05:22:50 PMWhile this is true, he didn't say that you had to for a year; specifically, he said "for like a year." TECHNICALITIES!

why you gotta be like that, BDS

BlackDragonSlayer

Quote from: FierceDeity on April 18, 2014, 05:37:07 PMWait what is "anything other than friendship", because as far as I can tell that only includes being A: enemies, B: neutral acquaintances, or C: in a relationship, and I'm pretty sure none of those fit into his advice, so no, he totally did say that. Maybe not "isolate them" but I really don't see how I implied that, either...
You specifically said "if there's a spark and you don't take advantage of it, it may die down before you have a chance to get to know somebody in a truly intimate manner," which, unless I am mistaken, is completely missing the point of what Psychic_Ness had to say.

Also, by "anything other than friendship," I meant "a spark," which is something you mentioned, and I was responding to.
And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

braix

Brainwash your crush into making them think they are madly in love with you. Problem solved.
Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PMBraixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

FierceDeity

Quote from: BlackDragonSlayer on April 18, 2014, 06:18:19 PMcompletely missing the point

irony at its finest

so, let me clarify my own point.

Quote from: FierceDeity on April 18, 2014, 05:09:17 PMgetting to know somebody outside of a relationship is completely different than getting to know them in a relationship

Still not clear? Lemme rephrase that.

Quote from: FierceDeity on April 18, 2014, 05:09:17 PMgetting to know somebody outside of a relationship is completely different than getting to know them in a relationship truly intimate manner

Now, let me point out every paraphrase of "spark" that psychic_ness encouraged us to ignore.

Quote from: Psychic_Ness on April 18, 2014, 03:13:59 PMIf you like someone I strongly suggest you be friends with them first for like a year and hold off any initial emotions you may have. Get to REALLYYYY know them or else you're going to be in for a massive, massive, massive, headache. At first, that feeling of having a crush on someone tends to overrule logical decision making. The infatuation period should go away after a while

BlackDragonSlayer

Quote from: FierceDeity on April 18, 2014, 06:30:43 PMNow, let me point out every paraphrase of "spark" that psychic_ness encouraged us to ignore.
The things is, he's not encouraging you to ignore the "spark" in the same manner you're thinking as it of. To word that more properly, he's thinking of something different than you are, but you're thinking of it in a completely different way and applying that to what he said. Of course, I can't speak for him, but I'm merely drawing conclusions from what he said.

But, may you recall that I also said this?
Quote from: BlackDragonSlayer on April 18, 2014, 05:22:50 PMThough, he did say to "hold off any initial emotions you may have," which I agree is quite extreme.
And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

Yugi

Now you see if you wanna get girls

The king's orders are absolute.