The Official Pokémon Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum Project

Started by Latios212, July 16, 2016, 06:44:06 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Latios212

In addition to what Libera said:
- I'd just suggest aligning the swung eighths with the triplets in m. 4 and 35+ (lmk if I missed anywhere else)
- The 16th rests appear a bit odd in m. 10/14, since we're in swing here. I get that you want to denote a slight lift between the two notes, but it appears a bit strange in this piece (especially with the lower layer in 14). Feel free to change it or not, though.
- Some of the slurs are pretty close to the triplet 3s, would recommend nudging them up a bit.

And that's all from me!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Th3Gavst3r

Quote from: Libera on December 17, 2019, 05:00:23 PMThe only thing I have to add is that the url and subtitle/page number on page 2 aren't aligned to the margins.
Ah yes, more formatting from the dark ages

Quote from: Latios212 on December 17, 2019, 05:36:40 PM- I'd just suggest aligning the swung eighths with the triplets in m. 4 and 35+ (lmk if I missed anywhere else)
Changed these, and also added one more to layer 2 in m11

Quote from: Latios212 on December 17, 2019, 05:36:40 PM- The 16th rests appear a bit odd in m. 10/14, since we're in swing here. I get that you want to denote a slight lift between the two notes, but it appears a bit strange in this piece (especially with the lower layer in 14). Feel free to change it or not, though.
Changed to tenuto eighths instead

Quote from: Latios212 on December 17, 2019, 05:36:40 PM- Some of the slurs are pretty close to the triplet 3s, would recommend nudging them up a bit.
I remember struggling with shaping the slurs a lot when I wrote this. Hopefully they're alright now

I also flipped another tie in m15 LH

New files:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/nyu2k94udrgvbvr/AAD95qxm0XMJ_5aVSUebfe-sa?dl=0

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Latios212

69 -The Legendary Pokémon Appears! - Libera

This looks pretty solid, though I feel like some of the chord inversions/octaves don't really fit the original. Specifically:
- Pickup aside, I think the RH chords more resemble this:
You cannot view this attachment.
- RH of 12-end would sound heavier down an octave
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Latios212

For JDMEK5:

Quote from: Static on July 29, 2019, 12:43:57 PM2nd Check
Battle! (Team Galactic) - JDMEK5
  • My only concern is with the accidentals; I feel like a lot of these would technically be flats or double flats instead of naturals. However, what you have is, at least in my opinion, a lot clearer and easier to read, so I'm fine with keeping it as is. If you're fine with that too, I'll accept.
[close]

Quote from: Static on December 15, 2019, 04:46:00 PM46 - Battle! (Team Galactic Commander)
- m3-10: F#s and Ans should be Gbs and Bbbs.
- m35-46 LH: All Ans should be Bbbs.
- m43-46 RH: All sharps/naturals should be flats (Ab minor-ish section).

Quote from: Static on December 15, 2019, 05:24:28 PM65 - Battle! (Team Galactic Boss) - JDMEK5
- I don't know if this is possible to do in Finale, but if you can make those beams over the rests double instead of single, I think that would be good. An 8th note beam over a 16th rest just looks strange to me.
- https
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

Quote from: Latios212 on December 19, 2019, 05:36:09 PM69 -The Legendary Pokémon Appears! - Libera

This looks pretty solid, though I feel like some of the chord inversions/octaves don't really fit the original. Specifically:
- Pickup aside, I think the RH chords more resemble this:
You cannot view this attachment.
- RH of 12-end would sound heavier down an octave

Sure I can make those changes.  Files updated.



Quote from: Th3Gavst3r on December 17, 2019, 06:10:23 PMAh yes, more formatting from the dark ages

Sweet, accepted!

Latios212

Quote from: Libera on December 20, 2019, 03:40:02 PMSure I can make those changes.  Files updated.
Cool, looks good to me! (though I would like whoever's looking next to take a peek at the pickup measure, not totally sure about that at the moment)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Th3Gavst3r

Quote from: Latios212 on December 09, 2019, 04:40:10 PM119 - Trainers' Eyes Meet (Artist) - Th3Gavst3r
- I think this should be in D major. Compare with how the duet on site looks, though let me know if you think there are any mistakes there.
- I'd recommend getting rid of the 8vb in the left hand, as this makes the chords sound muddy as well as make the cross-staffed part near the end impossible to reach
Yeah I agree, even though the accidentals are pretty annoying :P

Quote from: Latios212 on December 09, 2019, 04:40:10 PM- I'd recommend getting rid of the 8vb in the left hand, as this makes the chords sound muddy as well as make the cross-staffed part near the end impossible to reach
Just moving everything up an octave sounded way too thin to me, so I put a lot of effort into revoicing the chords to compromise between the awesome obnoxious ragtime bass and the lighter mid-range chords. There are some jumps that are pretty difficult (m4 beat 3-4...) but the piece is already really difficult all-around, so let me know if there's anything you think is just inhuman.

Speaking of inhuman, I also changed the triplet 16ths in the last measure to just be straight 16ths.

Quote from: Th3Gavst3r on December 17, 2019, 04:33:36 PMNew files:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/nyu2k94udrgvbvr/AAD95qxm0XMJ_5aVSUebfe-sa?dl=0

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Maelstrom

69 - The Legendary Pokémon Appears!
Only one thing. There should be an m12 in between what is currently m11 and m12 which is essentially a duplicate of m11. That is, the bassline is the same and the whole notes in each are tied together.

Maelstrom

119 - Trainers' Eyes Meet (Artist)
m2 b4 RH - I'd recommend putting in the C# into that chord as the current one doesn't capture the Adim feel of the original.
m11/13 RH b1-b2 - I'm pretty sure these single 16th notes are played as octaves. If you are strongly against for playability, that's fine. Still, I'd like to have them in there
m12 b4.25 RH - There's a C# grace note leading up to this chord here.

That's all.

Libera

Quote from: Maelstrom on January 04, 2020, 11:53:36 AM69 - The Legendary Pokémon Appears!
Only one thing. There should be an m12 in between what is currently m11 and m12 which is essentially a duplicate of m11. That is, the bassline is the same and the whole notes in each are tied together.

Nice spot there, whoops on my part.  I've uploaded a new file with the fix.

Maelstrom


JDMEK5

Quote from: Latios212 on December 20, 2019, 03:07:52 PMFor JDMEK5:
*Quotes from Static*

Via discord fixed Static's edits and a few more things:

Battle! Team Galactic
- Cb in LH in measures 36 and following
- Used some Cbs in LH in first part (and last part) for cleanliness
- RH measure 35 and following used Cb to illustrate parallel 3rd action and cohesion thereby
- Fixed note clashing between hands in last measure

Battle! Team Galactic Commander
- Implemented Static's thought in measures 3-10 up to where it was reasoned to be helpful in reading (as in, not completely but partly).
- Implemented the rest of Static's comments.
- Optimized measure 50 for playability
- Cleaned double accidentals between voices in RH in measures 30, 48, and 50
- Removed courtesy accidental in measure 44 RH
- Cleaned spacing on last page
- Rewrote 32nd notes in measure 34 as grace notes for simplicity
- Slurred grace notes throughout
- Fixed near collisions in measures 18 and 41
- Fixed lower page margin


Battle! Team Galactic Boss
- Fixed staff spacing with header throughout
- Fixed staff spacing on last page
- Flipped stems in lower voice RH in measures 43-50
- Removed notes in measures 28 and 76 for playability
- Optimized RH low bit between measures 29-30 for playability
- Revoiced measure 63 for playability
- Removed repeat sign from the last measure, leaving only the D.S.
- Optimized RH lower voice notation in measure 84.
- Ran another general accidental check.
- Cleaned double accidentals throughout
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Latios212

Nice! I'm moving 41 - Battle! (Team Galactic) to accepted based on Static's comment last time.

I've already approved the other two, so they're pending acceptance from others.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle