Alright, here we go. Definitely not getting through all of this in one sitting, so here's round one. @__@
- No "(Two Pianos)" in the title.
- M. 3, piano 2, LH - just make it a quarter? Doesn't seem like that note's any shorter than the others.
- M. 4, beat 4 sounds like just D instead of A-D.
- M. 5-8, piano 2, LH, hearing something different like this:
-Any reason why in bar 9 you didn't use the actual bass line? It would definitely be more harmonically interesting, which I think is important given that it's for piano.
Because I can't hear it, no matter what I try. I agree that it would be really good if it was there, but I can't transcribe it.
I can hear it pretty clearly up until around the section change on page 3, then it stops doing cool stuff, at least that I can hear. I can help you write that in sometime, but then again I really do like the simplicity of your LH right now, and the way it captures the percussive rhythm. There's an empty staff from 9-16 so I'm tempted to try and keep both, but once 17 comes around we're already got our hands full. Hmm....
- m. 14 E#-->Fn.
- m. 29 There's a D grace note in front of those two you have there.
- m. 31 - Start the slur at the grace note.
You can tell I started out checking everything from the beginning then pretty quickly lost focus. But overall this sheet seems pretty solid, the right things seem to be in place. Nice.