The Rant Thread/My Life Sucks Topic [Don't be pricks]

[DrP]

You can always try to plan something for the weekends... some sort of activity that will keep you busy. And do it relatively early. It always helps me feel productive.

For me, it's going down to the market on Sunday mornings before all the tourists arrive. I generally get some fruit or flowers. It gets me up and about and I am good for the rest of the day.

[SlowPokemon]

If you force yourself to get up and have a cup of tea in the morning it can make your day more fulfilling

[TheDreamingHawk]

Something's been bugging at me the past few months after my victory over my mother. She's completely gone silent which is a wonderful change of pace, yet my dark side brought on by her influence won't go away. If anything, my odd interests are growing bigger and bigger in the depths of my mind and I'm a bit scared I'll turn into a demon of some sort. I've asked my counselors and my grandparents about it and they both claim I'm just fine and that we all have our own interests/odd topics we like, but I just feel a bit scared, mostly because I blame myself for being a moronic 8 year old who didn't know how to call 911 on his own mother to report sexual abuse, all because I didn't realize the real meaning of her words and behaviors until years later... Even now I fear what I would be like if they failed in rescuing me from her.

Gah, I don't know. I just've been feeling down/scared as of late. At least high school is almost over with for me. I just don't get why such a huge victory isn't purifying me or freeing me from these demons.

[cashwarrior1]

Oh. I don't know what to say. Really, you're going to have to apologize to your mom, even if wasn't your fault or if they won't accept it. You'll feel better apologizing to them... usually.

[Altissimo]

Oh. I don't know what to say. Really, you're going to have to apologize to your mom, even if wasn't your fault or if they won't accept it. You'll feel better apologizing to them... usually.

I really don't think that's the issue.

What the hell does he even have to apologize for?

I think you're misunderstanding. A lot.

[Dude]

Yeah, I have no idea where you're going with that. He should apologize to his abusive mother for being abused??

[Zunawe]

I think the word you were looking for is forgive. He has nothing to apologize to his mother for.

[TheDreamingHawk]

Oh. I don't know what to say. Really, you're going to have to apologize to your mom, even if wasn't your fault or if they won't accept it. You'll feel better apologizing to them... usually.

So I should apologize to my mother, the one who nearly let me die because of her bad living conditions, and then practically burned a vore fetish into my mind because of her obsessive love to keep me inside of her? If anything I should apologize to my Aunt, her sister for having her witness the horror and be abused by my mother as well (as she had a physical disability and my mother would deny her pain medication whenever she got mad at her. Not good times and I still fear for her since she was actually nice and kind-hearted.)

And yes, I admitted to the curse inflicted on me, all because of the misunderstanding you said. All of NSM is free to laugh at me and call me a mutant freak with a creepy mindset, even though I had no say in the matter of psychology at the age of eight, and I still fear having this dark shadow side will cost me a job in the future, all because of my mother. Heck, off and on when worrying about balancing my double life, I have this song play in my head as a perfect metaphor towards the battle within I deal with on a daily basis.

Now that our society is biased towards Women and act as if men can never ever be sexually abused, verbally or physically (much less as a child by their own mother), I'm practically defenseless when it comes to seeking help from peers IRL. You wouldn't believe how many times I get angry whenever someone like my former special ed teacher laughs at me or accuses me of over exaggerating just because I'm a guy.  I'll get through it eventually, but now that I'm the age of knowing about these darker subjects in full detail, I realize the extent of the damage my mother did, and why I had such odd and weird thoughts growing up. I can never apologize to her for that. That being said, I can forgive you easily since I can sense you didn't mean it as a bad intent... I hope so at least. If I'm wrong and it's not a misunderstanding and you truly believe its my error, well I don't know what to say.

[Dude]

cashwarrior obviously has no idea what is going on, just try to ignore him.

[mikey]

I don't care how many times I say this because it's true you're JUST like that best friend of mine

[TheDreamingHawk]

I don't care how many times I say this because it's true you're JUST like that best friend of mine

Is that a good or bad thing? Or was it even referring to me? Sorry if I misunderstand, been feeling overall confused due to this change in mood...

[mikey]

well, do you consider yourself a good or bad person

[SlowPokemon]

I don't care how many times I say this because it's true you're JUST like that best friend of mine

This is a useless statement

I'm really sorry you're still dealing with this, TDH

[Olimar12345]

This is a useless statement

Lol you don't need to be a jerk.

[mikey]

just how useful is internet sympathy anyway, imo it's just knowing that people are hearing you that's important