[Wii] Kirby's Epic Yarn - "Vs. Meta Knight" by Zeila

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby's Epic Yarn
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Vs. Meta Knight
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Zeila

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[Zeila]

[mastersuperfan]

yass finallyyy

[Latios212]

Nice! This seems really very solid, great work. Let's take a look at that intro for now...



- It needs MORE POWER! It's pretty rare to happen upon something of this intensity, so I would recommend at least three (or, even four!) f's here for the opening dynamic.
- Related to the above, the LH absolutely needs more than single notes. I think octaves are present in the original, so you can go ahead and add them in here as you can see in the picture above. I'm not 100% sure about the third left hand attack (the two eighth notes), but I think I have it correct here. See if that sounds okay to you. (Also might want to put that in 8vb.)
- Wow, these clusters of notes are all taken right from the whole tone scale and aren't random fist-slamming as it sounds like! You've transcribed them perfectly, except the second cluster seems to be missing a C (that I wrote in above).
- Make sure the ties don't overlap each other for the third cluster of notes.

Looking ahead, it seems like you're missing a RH chord on beat 2.5 in m. 9-10, similar to what you included in the following couple measures. But that's all I've got time for now.

[Zeila]

yass finallyyy

^.^ up next is Halberd

Nice! This seems really very solid, great work. Let's take a look at that intro for now...

- It needs MORE POWER! It's pretty rare to happen upon something of this intensity, so I would recommend at least three (or, even four!) f's here for the opening dynamic.
- Related to the above, the LH absolutely needs more than single notes. I think octaves are present in the original, so you can go ahead and add them in here as you can see in the picture above. I'm not 100% sure about the third left hand attack (the two eighth notes), but I think I have it correct here. See if that sounds okay to you. (Also might want to put that in 8vb.)

Thanks!! I decided to go with four f's, and what you wrote sounds good. I added 8vb's too

- Wow, these clusters of notes are all taken right from the whole tone scale and aren't random fist-slamming as it sounds like! You've transcribed them perfectly, except the second cluster seems to be missing a C (that I wrote in above).
- Make sure the ties don't overlap each other for the third cluster of notes.

Oops, done

Looking ahead, it seems like you're missing a RH chord on beat 2.5 in m. 9-10, similar to what you included in the following couple measures. But that's all I've got time for now.

It just sounds like C's, but I added it in anyways

Aside from that, I lowered the LH aside from the staccato'd quarter notes down an octave in m17-22

[Zeila]

Bump

[LeviR.star]

Bump for Zeila. Looking at the .pdf, Zeila, I notice that some of the dynamic markings overlap w/ barlines, crescendos, etc., and they sometimes are located too close to the above staff, which could lead to some confusion. If I were you, I'd go back and adjust them accordingly, along with that copyright info, which is just a bit too close for comfort, imo.

Regardless, this is a super sheet, Zeila! I'm impressed that you decided to take on such a tricky song. Great work!

[Zeila]

Bump for Zeila. Looking at the .pdf, Zeila, I notice that some of the dynamic markings overlap w/ barlines, crescendos, etc., and they sometimes are located too close to the above staff, which could lead to some confusion. If I were you, I'd go back and adjust them accordingly, along with that copyright info, which is just a bit too close for comfort, imo.

Regardless, this is a super sheet, Zeila! I'm impressed that you decided to take on such a tricky song. Great work!

A super sheet you say? Thanks! I fixed the overlaps and stuff

[Olimar12345]

Lotta notes in this one. some things:

-Might want to adjust the left margin a bit. It's really big and that space could probably be put to good use elsewhere, especially when we're using two beams.
-Watch your rolled chord lines. Measures 8 and 10 looks a tad too far to the left, measure 9 looks a tad too far to the right. etc.
-Measure 11's RH doesn't look like what I'm hearing from the recording you posted. The Db sounds down an octave leading up to the following Bb. I don't really even hear an Ab above it. The last three Eb's also sound an octave lower there. I also think the first and second Eb should be tied.
-Measure 12's RH third chord (Db Ab) sound like they should be down an octave.
-There is a prominent G missing from the RH on beat 5 in measure 15. I'd substitute the Ab for it.
-The ascending line you have in 18 doesn't quite reach the notes in the recording. Last two chords sound more like an Eb-Bb to F-Eb (P4 higher than that Bb) to me.
-Courtesy natural might be nice on the D natural in measure 21 since it comes from that flat in the previous bar.
-Measure 29, RH: you've got quartal harmony going on (the stacking of fourths instead of thirds). This needs to be shown in the notation. For example, the first set of pitches is written correctly, because C-F-Bb are all P4's away from each other. However, when it moves up a half step you break this pattern for an augmented third in the upper half (Gb-Bn). That should be written as C#-F-Bn (ascending), respelling the Gb and Db as C# and F#. Ascending like this makes it easier because you will need to apply less accidentals later on. Imo, you don't have to worry about the right hand being enharmonically different from the LH, because they are executing two completely different ideas, one ascending chromatically while the other repeats an ostinato underneath. The next two collections of notes are correct, but the last one in measure 30 is actually hitting a wrong note. The F on beat 2 should be an E natural, as is sounding in the recording.
-Measure 31 isn't technically wrong, but it should be said that the RH part you have is an octave higher than both instruments are playing in the recording (piano and xylo). Personally, I'd prefer it down.
-The figure you have at 34 is also not quite what the recording is doing there. The grace notes are actually an octave leap, not a second.

Mostly looked at the RH since that was the meat of this. Below is a file containing the listed things above (sans the last point just because that will take some major work to do) in case I was unclear about something.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/o8km5gmn0f7086j/Kirby%27s%20Epic%20Yarn%20-%20Vs.%20Meta%20Knight12345.mus?dl=0

[Latios212]

Couple passing comments while glancing at the updated file:
- I'd recommend against the courtesy naturals in m. 26-28 - I don't feel the C's in the middle of each measure would be misread.
- I think the absence of the bass in m. 34-35 is jarring and hurts the flow of the piece. You'd lose a bit of the power from the melody but keeping the bass there is more important. This is in direct contrast to measure 37 where the focus changes to highlight the left hand doubling the melody.

[Zeila]

Thanks guys! I modified the files, but I disagree with m11. Yes the Db is an octave lower (and is part of a voice/layer similar to the bass part), but the Eb's don't sound an octave lower to me. Also, I still hear an Ab, but ultimately I decided to go with Db & C (which I also think is present too)

[Sebastian]

I'll check notes when I get home.

A couple things other than note accuracy:
- The accidentals in M. 32 are colliding with the notes.
- Some spots seem a bit cramped formatting-wise (looking at the top of page ones near the composer/arranger names. Maybe downsize the pages a bit. You have some room on the final page that you can work with.

[Zeila]

I messed around with the formatting

[Zeila]

I did some more formatting changes. Also bump

[Sebastian]

Sorry about the wait with this one! Static is currently looking over it. And then I'll double check when he's finished.