mastersuperfan's Color Sheets

[mastersuperfan]

"The Silver Peaks of Froenborg" – [3DS] Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy
[Files] [Original]

"Invincible Rainbow Arrow" – [MUL] AI: The Somnium Files
[Files] [Original] [Original (Instrumental)]

[Bloop]

I don't see anything wrong with it, nice job! Maybe I should play this game after having played all other Professor Layton games too lol.
The only thing I could maybe suggest is dynamics: mp is a 'medium' kind of dynamic marking, so maybe having p instead conveys more of the calm vibe of the original? Also, why is there a p marking in the last measure? The song fades out in the link you posted, but it doesn't in other (repeating) videos.

[mastersuperfan]

I don't see anything wrong with it, nice job! Maybe I should play this game after having played all other Professor Layton games too lol.
The only thing I could maybe suggest is dynamics: mp is a 'medium' kind of dynamic marking, so maybe having p instead conveys more of the calm vibe of the original? Also, why is there a p marking in the last measure? The song fades out in the link you posted, but it doesn't in other (repeating) videos.

I disagree; I think mp is more appropriate—it's calm, but not quiet or subdued like p would convey.

m25-27 is a lull in the loop since there's no melody, and the dim + p reflects that.

[mastersuperfan]

"Invincible Rainbow Arrow" – [MUL] AI: The Somnium Files
[Files] [Original] [Original (Instrumental)]

In commemoration of the announcement of AI: The Somnium Files - nirvanA Initiative... behold my longest sheet to date! I'll be polishing this one up a bit more in terms of accuracy/playability/consistency, but for now, I'm glad I was able to get the whole song down as a working solo piano arrangement.

[Bloop]

alright time to take on this invincible arrow bop

-m.1 L.H.: I actually only hear the lower octave in the original.
-m.5 R.H.: Staccato missing on beat 4.5. Also in m.55, 105 and 150
-m.7 L.H.: Beat 4 should be a Bb
-m.14 R.H.: The top note (vocal line) in beat 4.5 should be a Bb. Also in 22, 64 in 72
-m.16-19 L.H.: You could write the Fn's and Cn's as E#'s and B#'s too, kinda the same thing as in Elastic Entertainer iirc. Same for 24-27, 66-69 and 74-79.
-m.31 L.H.: I hear the bass going to the D an octave above the one on beat 4 (also in m.81)
-m.40 R.H.: You could add the high violin part in the second voice on beat 3.5 like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
You could maybe even add the Fn in the second violin part, but that may impact how the melody will sound. The first violin does the same in m.48, but the second violin actually plays D-E there, so you could keep this the same. The same things happen in m.90 and 135, but you may have to see case by case how and if you want to implement those violin parts.
-m.41 L.H.: I don't hear the A grace note on beat 4.5 (also in m. 99), but I do hear a C grace note on beat 3.5 (as well as in m.49, but not in 91 and 99)
-m.45 L.H.: I also don't hear the low C on beat 4
-m.50-51 L.H.: I hear this in the bass:
You cannot view this attachment.
-m.62 L.H.: I hear the bass going high-low D (instead of low-high) on beat 3.5 and 4. It is low-high in m.70 though.
-m.71 L.H.: Instead of a grace note before beat 3, I hear the bass as two sixteenths on beat 3.
-m.73 L.H.: I hear this in the bass on beat 4:
You cannot view this attachment.
-m.88 R.H.: You could use high D's for the more shouting notes on beats 1 and 2 (again in 96)
-m.100-101 L.H.: Same thing as in 50-51 but different:
You cannot view this attachment.
-m.103 L.H.: I hear just a half note in the bass on beats 3-4, but if you want to keep the drum momentum going, you could omit the eighth on beat 3.5 or just leave it as is.
-m.121 R.H.: I hear a C under the Db too
-m.136.: I don't hear the bass notes on beat 3 and 4: I believe beat 3 should be an eighth rest and beat 3.5 should be a quarter note (same in m. 144). Also, in the R.H. on beat 3.5, you could go to a higher note for the shout on "You!", which would be around a high A (though it may sound a bit too high as you're already an octave up here)
-m.137 L.H.: Beat 4.5 should be a (low) D.
-m.140 L.H.: I don't hear the bass notes on beats 3 and 4 here either, as in 136. If you omit the lower C's, I'd suggest moving the higher C's an octave down.
-m.145-146 L.H.: Again some octave stuff, and different notes this time too:
You cannot view this attachment.
-m.147 L.H.: I hear the bass going down here: G F# E D. I heard this voice in earlier iterations of this bar too, but in the second violin.
-m.148 L.H.: The bass stays on Bb during the whole bar
-m.154 L.H.: Same as in 136 and 140 about the bass notes on beats 3 and 4.


alright i think that's all
Really nice work though! Most of this is just very nitpicky note stuff. Now I'm gonna try not to have this song in my head for the next few months.

[Latios212]

The Silver Peaks of Froenborg

This is a really nice piece... I very much like this style. It's a delight to play, learning other sheets like this one really made me appreciate this kind of writing Thanks for preventing this sheet from having gigantic rolled chords.

- Beat 3 of m. 7 should be a low G (restrikes the bass, like the previous couple measures)
- Beat 3.25 of m. 8 sounds like an A instead of a B in the LH. You could also omit the A from the chord immediately following it
- On the flip side, last LH note in m. 9 sounds like B instead of A
- Last note of m. 12 LH sounds like F# instead of A
- m. 23 sounds pretty... suddenly bassy and imposing with that tritone in the bass. I don't think the low E is actually there in the original? I think the diminished sound is coming from the E in the voice omitted in layer 2 on beat 1.
- Flip the tie downwards in m. 25 away from the upper layer. Also the right end of the dotted line could be moved down a bit so as to not end directly on the staff line?

[mastersuperfan]

The Silver Peaks of Froenborg

This is a really nice piece... I very much like this style. It's a delight to play, learning other sheets like this one really made me appreciate this kind of writing Thanks for preventing this sheet from having gigantic rolled chords.

- Beat 3 of m. 7 should be a low G (restrikes the bass, like the previous couple measures)
- Beat 3.25 of m. 8 sounds like an A instead of a B in the LH. You could also omit the A from the chord immediately following it
- On the flip side, last LH note in m. 9 sounds like B instead of A
- Last note of m. 12 LH sounds like F# instead of A
- m. 23 sounds pretty... suddenly bassy and imposing with that tritone in the bass. I don't think the low E is actually there in the original? I think the diminished sound is coming from the E in the voice omitted in layer 2 on beat 1.
- Flip the tie downwards in m. 25 away from the upper layer. Also the right end of the dotted line could be moved down a bit so as to not end directly on the staff line?

All changes made, except I still hear the piano strike a prominent low E on m23 beat 1. I think the tritone sounds fine as long as the pianist doesn't blast it.

[Latios212]

The Silver Peaks of Froenborg

- m. 23 sounds pretty... suddenly bassy and imposing with that tritone in the bass. I don't think the low E is actually there in the original? I think the diminished sound is coming from the E in the voice omitted in layer 2 on beat 1.

All changes made, except I still hear the piano strike a prominent low E on m23 beat 1. I think the tritone sounds fine as long as the pianist doesn't blast it.

Hmm, not super convinced about this still. I'll approve and see if someone else has any input on that

[mastersuperfan]

Responses in bold:

-m.1 L.H.: I actually only hear the lower octave in the original. done
-m.5 R.H.: Staccato missing on beat 4.5. Also in m.55, 105 and 150 done
-m.7 L.H.: Beat 4 should be a Bb I still hear this as an A
-m.14 R.H.: The top note (vocal line) in beat 4.5 should be a Bb. Also in 22, 64 in 72 in all other versions of this song (of which there are very many), this is an A, including the Japanese version and a second English version, so I attribute this to the singer being offkey in this version
-m.16-19 L.H.: You could write the Fn's and Cn's as E#'s and B#'s too, kinda the same thing as in Elastic Entertainer iirc. Same for 24-27, 66-69 and 74-79. done
-m.31 L.H.: I hear the bass going to the D an octave above the one on beat 4 (also in m.81) there's another voice that plays the low D on beat 4, so I opted to use that instead to keep the LH in the lower register, although I could be convinced otherwise
-m.40 R.H.: You could add the high violin part in the second voice on beat 3.5 like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
You could maybe even add the Fn in the second violin part, but that may impact how the melody will sound. The first violin does the same in m.48, but the second violin actually plays D-E there, so you could keep this the same. The same things happen in m.90 and 135, but you may have to see case by case how and if you want to implement those violin parts. really like the Db idea, added it to all applicable locations
-m.41 L.H.: I don't hear the A grace note on beat 4.5 (also in m. 99), but I do hear a C grace note on beat 3.5 (as well as in m.49, but not in 91 and 99) I removed the A from m99 but I still hear it clearly in m41. I'm ambivalent about the C's because they're really slides more than grace notes but I added them anyway
-m.45 L.H.: I also don't hear the low C on beat 4 added that one myself so that there's still movement on beat 4
-m.50-51 L.H.: I hear this in the bass:
You cannot view this attachment.
I transposed some of the notes down an octave intentionally to keep the LH in the low register and to prevent the big jumps up and down
-m.62 L.H.: I hear the bass going high-low D (instead of low-high) on beat 3.5 and 4. It is low-high in m.70 though. done
-m.71 L.H.: Instead of a grace note before beat 3, I hear the bass as two sixteenths on beat 3. done
-m.73 L.H.: I hear this in the bass on beat 4:
You cannot view this attachment.
done, plus changes to the notes on beats 2.5-3.5
-m.88 R.H.: You could use high D's for the more shouting notes on beats 1 and 2 (again in 96) I'll pass, I don't like using the tonic for those notes. also the shouting is another thing that varies from version to version
-m.100-101 L.H.: Same thing as in 50-51 but different:
You cannot view this attachment.
same thing with intentionally transposing down the octaves
-m.103 L.H.: I hear just a half note in the bass on beats 3-4, but if you want to keep the drum momentum going, you could omit the eighth on beat 3.5 or just leave it as is. I like the idea of removing the eighth on beat 3.5, done
-m.121 R.H.: I hear a C under the Db too done
-m.136.: I don't hear the bass notes on beat 3 and 4: I believe beat 3 should be an eighth rest and beat 3.5 should be a quarter note (same in m. 144). Also, in the R.H. on beat 3.5, you could go to a higher note for the shout on "You!", which would be around a high A (though it may sound a bit too high as you're already an octave up here) I added the extra bass notes for additional rhythmic effect to distinguish the last chorus from the first two; also same note about the shout as before. I didn't fill the rest in m134 LH because the RH plays on that beat though. I just don't want an eighth note where nothing moves is all.
-m.137 L.H.: Beat 4.5 should be a (low) D. done
-m.140 L.H.: I don't hear the bass notes on beats 3 and 4 here either, as in 136. If you omit the lower C's, I'd suggest moving the higher C's an octave down. same as above
-m.145-146 L.H.: Again some octave stuff, and different notes this time too:
You cannot view this attachment. done, with some octave transpositions to lead better into m147
-m.147 L.H.: I hear the bass going down here: G F# E D. I heard this voice in earlier iterations of this bar too, but in the second violin. done
-m.148 L.H.: The bass stays on Bb during the whole bar sounds like beats 1-2 are Cn and beats 3-4 are Bb
-m.154 L.H.: Same as in 136 and 140 about the bass notes on beats 3 and 4. same as above about filling in the eighth rests where nothing moves


alright i think that's all
Really nice work though! Most of this is just very nitpicky note stuff. Now I'm gonna try not to have this song in my head for the next few months.

As you can tell, I changed a lot of things about the bassline at my own discretion, but I could be convinced to change some things back if there's a good reason.

Thanks for taking a look!

[Bloop]

Nice, I think you have good reasons for most of the bass alterations: just wanted to make sure they were conscious choices! As for m.31, it probably is easier to play if you keep it as you have now, so that's fine too! I'll give it an abloopvement.

As for this:

Hmm, not super convinced about this still. I'll approve and see if someone else has any input on that

I do hear the low E as well, but maybe there's something to be said about putting accents on the Bb's in that bar? That way, the pianist knows the Bb has some more priority over the bass note, and it kinda sounds like the Bb's are played a little bit louder anyway. I can understand if you'd rather leave it tho!

[Static]

Invincible Rainbow Arrow

• m1-2, 161-163 RH: Maybe it's just a v27 thing, but the arpeggio markings seem a bit oversized and misaligned on my end. They should just cover the distance of the noteheads, and be pushed a bit more to the left.
• m11 RH beat 4.75: The last 16th note sounds more like C# to me than E.
• m13 RH beat 1.5 Should have an A above the G (like on beat 4.5).
• m14 RH beat 4.5: The Cn should be Dn instead (the C is only in the bass.)
• m22 RH beat 1.5: The G should be F#.
• m15/23/65/73 RH beat 1.5: The lower dot in Layer 2 is touching the tie.
• m28/30/32/34/78/etc. RH: While the melody does come in on beat 4.5 before, the chord hit is on beat 1 of these measures. It sounds off to me the way you have it written.
• m29/79 RH beat 4.5: The B should be an A (B7).
• m42/50/92/100/137/145 RH beats 3-4: It sounds like the major 7th is added here, so maybe move the Gs to F# (this is just in the strings btw, not the vocal harmony).
• m48/80/98 RH beat 4: The F# should be Fn (also maybe add a courtesy natural for the B). In m143, the lower vocal line does sing F# for some reason so I guess you can leave it there... But the piano/strings still play Fn underneath that.
• m52/102/148 RH beat 3: The D sounds like it should be an E.
• m64 RH beat 4.5: This chord should be Bb-D-E-A.
• m63 RH beat 1.5: There's an A above the G, like in m13.
• m66-69/74-77 RH: Might be fun to transcribe the guitar/piano solos instead of reusing the violin line... well maybe "fun" isn't the right word here.
• m71 RH beat 4.5: The A should be G.
• m72 RH beat 1.5: There should be a Cn here as well.
• m72 RH beat 4.5: There's an extra D in this chord too (C9).
• m87 RH beat 3: This is nitpicky, but I'm pretty sure that those kinds of dotted 8va lines should end with a hook, with no space between the horizontal and vertical lines. Like it should look like "L" at the end instead of "| _". Hopefully that kinda makes sense...
• m103 RH beat 4.5: This sounds more like some chromatic grace notes in the violin instead of an 8th note. Starts on A and goes to F#.
• m113 RH beat 4.5: There's an extra note here in the violins, you could add it if you want since it doesn't really get in the way of the melody.
• m117 RH beats 3-4: I'm not hearing the C#s here, it sounds more like D-D-D-D for that middle voice, or just D on beat 3.5/4.5.
• m121 RH: I'm not sure I hear the Db here, it sounds like C-Eb-F-Bb.
• m124 LH beat 2.5: This high D should be F# instead, so probably put that in the RH.
• m125 RH beat 2.5: Watch those ties.
• m125-126 LH: I get that you moved the A-D figure to the low register to transition better into m127, but the D-G-A figure at the end of m125 works fine in the original octave. I don't really see why it's moved down when nothing else was up to that point:
  
  (be sure to adjust those ties though)
• m127 RH: Similar to m28, etc., the chord begins on beat 1 of this measure. Only the melody comes in on beat 4.5 of m126.
• m148 RH beat 4.5: Where is this 8th note coming from? I don't hear it in the vocals or the strings.
• m159 RH beat 1: I hear an F# under the G (Em9).
• m160 RH: I think I hear an F# between the E and G in this run.
• m160 RH: The chord is missing an E (Em7b5/Bb).
• m161 RH beat 1: This first chord has a more closed voicing, D-E-G-Bb.
• m161-162 RH: The rest of the chords are correct, but there's another voice that's also playing an E underneath, so you could add that voice if you wanted to.
• Bassline stuff:
• m7 LH beat 2.75: It sounds like there's an extra 16th note (D) here.
• m9 LH beat 4.5 sounds an octave lower than written, I don't think it would make it any less interesting/more difficult to move it there.
• m17/19/etc. LH beat 3: I think it might be slightly more appropriate to use Cn here, since the underlying chord is a G7. It's probably fine either way though.
• m31/81/83 LH beat 4: I would also suggest moving the D on beat 4 up an octave in these measures. The upwards motion of the bass in this measure is very apparent to me at least. Though, you can leave it still if you'd rather do that.
• m43/93/138 LH: I'm assuming you intentionally changed the octave of some of these notes, so I'll just say it's fine as-is.
• m63 LH beat 2.5: That grace note slur looks a little weird. The starting point should be more above the note instead of next to it.
• m77 LH: This sounds a bit different than what you have written, especially beats 3-4.
• m101 LH beat 1.5: This note should be F# instead of D.
• m136/140/144 LH beat 3: I know you said that you added this extra note for rhythmic effect, but what makes these measures effective is that everything cuts out on this beat (including drums). With that rest present, the notes on beat 2.5 and 3.5 have a lot more punch to them, but as it is now, it just kind of all has the same intensity. I think the additional/higher RH voicings do enough to distinguish this chorus from the previous two.
• m137 LH beat 4: The F# should be G.
• m138 LH: I hear this measure completely differently, should be F#-F#-F#-F#-A-D-A-F#.
• m146 LH beat 2: The A sounds like it should be D.
• The singer hurts my ears

This is quite a sheet! Really nice work.

[Static]

The Silver Peaks of Froenborg

• m9-13 LH, beats 1.5 and 3.5 have an extra note in the guitar part:
  
• m14 LH beat 4: Sounds like G# instead of E.

Not much else to say, looks pretty nice

[mastersuperfan]

The Silver Peaks of Froenborg

• m9-13 LH, beats 1.5 and 3.5 have an extra note in the guitar part:
  
• m14 LH beat 4: Sounds like G# instead of E.

- Added, plus in m15
- Listened to it again and I actually hear a D lol so I changed it

Changes to IRA coming later

[mastersuperfan]

Made changes through page 4 (aside from the bassline), will make the rest of the changes tomorrow/Sunday...

Invincible Rainbow Arrow

• m42/50/92/100/137/145 RH beats 3-4: It sounds like the major 7th is added here, so maybe move the Gs to F# (this is just in the strings btw, not the vocal harmony). I would consider it if the LH were playing the G more prominently, maybe. But as is, changing the G's to F#'s makes it sound like the entire chord changes early to me
• m48/80/98 RH beat 4: The F# should be Fn (also maybe add a courtesy natural for the B). In m143, the lower vocal line does sing F# for some reason so I guess you can leave it there... But the piano/strings still play Fn underneath that. I changed them all to Fn's for consistency. The B doesn't need a courtesy natural, the RH plays it the previous beat and there are already two accidentals on the chord
• m52/102/148 RH beat 3: The D sounds like it should be an E. I'm not sure about this one, I do hear the violin play the E but I also still hear a D with the chord. I'll leave it as is because the progression doesn't sound right to me with an E minor chord but another opinion might be helpful here
• m66-69/74-77 RH: Might be fun to transcribe the guitar/piano solos instead of reusing the violin line... well maybe "fun" isn't the right word here. ...I'll try this tomorrow

[Static]

Froenborg looks good, I'll accept that one. I meant Gn instead of G#, but I hear that D you mentioned now too.